How would you feel
by Shadow's quill
Summary: The Doctor thought everything was done when he had kissed Rose to remove all the power of the Time Vortex out of her. He was dead, and was gonna regenerate into a new man. The universe was safe again. He hadn't expected that the new Doctor would throw Rose out of the TARDIS, nor that the Bad Wolf would remain into Rose's mind...
1. Newbie

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 1/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Rose had seen all the therapists of the country and nothing had changed. So, when they opened the door to introduce her to a new therapist, she hadn't expected much from him. Until she saw his face. Until she realised he was the perfect double of her Doctor."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.**

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PROLOGUE

Rose Tyler had never thought such a thing would ever happen. She had never thought that travelling with the Doctor would end in such a tragic way. It had been magical, extraordinary but it had ended brutally when she had absorbed the Vortex and become the Bad Wolf, when her Doctor had regenerated into a new man and thrown her out of the TARDIS, back on Earth. Things had never been the same ever since.

Living a life day after day wasn't exciting at all, but she was there, back at living with her mom in the Estates and mourning the loss of her Doctor. She was depressed but that was all. Until the Bad Wolf started showing up. She thought her Doctor had taken all the Vortex out of her and that it was the reason why he was dead and gone. However, the Bad Wolf was still there and it was driving her crazy.

At first, it was soft. She had headaches and the Bad Wolf would turn her eyes golden and make her look like a complete freak, but it slowly became worse. The Bad Wolf was mourning and its pain was burning through Rose's brain and veins, destroying her mental health bit by bit, until Rose scratched herself to blood, until Rose yelled because of how terrible the pain was, until Rose didn't make sense at all when she was speaking.

That's when Jackie decided to have her locked into a psychiatric unit. She just wanted to help her daughter and hadn't thought the things could go any worse. But they did. The Bad Wolf hated its new surroundings and became even more furious. The poor Rose couldn't cope with such an anger and became uncontrollable. Only the drugs they were giving her to keep her calm seemed to work on the Bad Wolf. And that's how Rose Tyler had become a drug addict, and started messing around to have her daily dose. Many therapists had come and tried to help her but they all ended up running away from the room absolutely terrified by what they saw.

Rose had seen all the therapists of the country and nothing had changed. So, when they opened the door to introduce her to a new therapist, she hadn't expected much from him. Until she saw his face. Until she realised he was the perfect double of her Doctor. Had he found a way to come back to her and help her? The thought was quickly overwhelmed when the Bad Wolf started showing its anger. Immediately, Rose was controlled, drugged and left alone in the room with that man looking so much like her Doctor.

CHAPTER 1: NEWBIE

Rose Tyler had never thought that the Doctor and her adventures would ever end so abruptly. She had never thought that things would end so tragically for her. But they did. Rose didn't think much about the headaches at first. She just assumed they were just any normal headache. Until she started seeing the golden light come from her hands and eyes, until the pain in her head became unbearable. She hadn't wanted to go to the psychiatric unit and had begged her mother not to take her, because she wasn't crazy. No, she was just the host of some incredible power she couldn't control, a power she shouldn't have kept after she saved her Doctor from a certain death, a power she thought was gone with her Doctor. None of them had expected it to stay in her mind, and to burn through her body. None of them had expected her to survive with such a power into her mind. But she did. Somehow.

The power of the Bad Wolf scared her of course, but it scared her mother even more, and that was why Jackie had sent her into mental institute. She had hoped they would help her daughter, that they would find a way to control the beast in her. The best solution would have been the Doctor, but the pretty boy had flown away as fast as he could when he had felt better, and he had left Rose behind him, ignoring what she was dealing with. And now, she was stuck in that place she hated because they in no way were helping her. Plus, it made the Bad Wolf even worse. It hated its new surroundings and made poor little Rose completely uncontrollable. Because of it all, Rose had become a drug addict and she was causing trouble everyday just so she could have the medication that would help her stay calm, that would help her stay numb to the pain that Bad Wolf and the loss of the doctor caused her every day.

Rose didn't really trust many people anymore. She had lost all faith in therapists and medical staff in general. They always ran off whenever they saw Bad Wolf come out. She wasn't expecting much more from this new therapist they had told her about either. Until she saw him, until she saw that face that looked so much like the man she loved and adored and risked her life for. Had he degenerated and come back to save her? That thought was casted aside when Bad Wolf showed through and Rose was immediately overpowered and drugged yet again by the nurses. Now, she was sitting in the room with the man who looked so much like the man she had once loved, the man she mourned for every day. And she just sat there, her knees tucked tightly against her chest and her chin on them, and stared off into space.

Maxence Spitz was young in the profession. Actually, he just came out of the school and it was his very first case. He hadn't expected such a difficult patient from the start. He had read the medical record on the road. The details and the different notes from all the therapists who had worked on that case before him had left him a bit anxious about what he was gonna face. He had wanted to become a therapist to help people out, but he had thought he would start slowly and take it easy. He hadn't thought that he would be recruited so fast to treat a case everyone seemed to have run away from before. He was a newbie and he was sent into the jungle without a real experience, because they had no one else to take care of that person. Rose Tyler. A young woman who had suddenly gone crazy. A young woman who could turn her eyes golden. Someone had even written that she had tried to get into his head. Maxence had thrown the record into his shoulder bag and slipped his glasses on his head, sighing.

As soon as he arrived at the hospital, they brought him into the isolation section and into the room of his future patient. The young girl was listless on her bed. She didn't seem that dangerous that way. But his presence created a reaction no one had expected. He couldn't see much of what was happening and before he could say a thing, they had drugged the girl. He caught a nurse's arm before she went out.

"Was it necessary?" he asked.

The nurse looked at him. He was their last chance to help Rose Tyler, but he was a newbie. He probably wouldn't last long here, and Rose would be lost. There already was a bet in the building to know how long he would stay in there. Most of the staff didn't think he would last long. They were a lot to think he would run away as soon as he would be able to. But a few of them wanted to give him a chance.

"You've read her record," simply replied the nurse.

She left the room and shut the door a bit brutally behind her. She locked Maxence in it for the next hour. He was a bit confused to be honest. He had a wrong feeling about the whole place, and he didn't like the way they were treating their patients already. He pushed away his thoughts. He had a job to do, but how was he supposed to help the girl when they made her forget her own name?

A therapist just starting out in the profession. Great. That was a great person to put in a room with Rose Tyler, someone who they called insane, someone who used to be so loving and gentle. Someone who now was drugged every day because of something she couldn't control. Rose had had her own dreams and they were all crushed. She had been in this place for a while. A couple years to say the least. She couldn't really tell. She had lost tracks of time. She even forgot what normal, good food tasted like. She got nasty food all the time. Sometimes she didn't even get food. She only got a tiny portion of food and a shower today because of her new therapist was coming to see her.

Rose knew he wouldn't stay long. They never did. She was just a young woman who didn't see much of a future for herself. She didn't see herself having a job or anything because she couldn't picture herself ever getting out of here. She was actually kind of scared of herself. They had stuck her into an isolation room, alone, because they were afraid of what she could do. She was just sitting lifelessly on her bed, what she normally did a lot. She never really moved, but when she saw her new therapist, she went nuts. She fought against the nurses and a growl surfaced from her throat until they drugged her. Then, Rose was back to her lifeless, blank, and limp self.

Once the nurses were gone, Rose sat on her bed with her back against the wall, her knees tucked tightly against her chest as her round hazel eyes stared blankly at the man, the man who looked so much like the man she used to love. Her bottom lip lightly quivered for a moment. But she was numb now. She couldn't feel much anymore. She probably wouldn't answer any of his questions, assuming he would just leave her like all the other people did.

Maxence looked around the room. It was tiny and messy and dirty. How could they keep someone locked into such a place? No one should ever live into a room so disgusting. The girl didn't even have any access to water, wasn't even close to a bathroom for her needs. That room was worse than any prison cell. He would ask for her to be transferred into another room as soon as he would get to talk to someone here. He looked at the chair in the corner of the room. The therapist's chair obviously. Sit there and have a full view of what was going on in that room. Sit there and judge your patient while he was going nuts. He chose not to use it. Instead, he took off the shoes without shoelaces they had given him when he arrived and sat cross legged on the bottom of the bed, facing Rose.

Thankfully, he had managed to keep his bag but they had taken all the things susceptible to be used by Rose to hurt him or herself: his keys, his phone, his keyrings. He had managed to keep his notepad and pen though. He watched Rose silently for a moment knowing it was useless to try and talk. The poor girl was terrified and all they were doing was drugging her. No wonder why she was going crazy with such a treatment. A small noise made him suddenly look for something into his bag. A chocolate/banana bar he was always keeping on him in case he would get hungry. He placed it on the bed and pushed it towards Rose.

"Don't tell them I gave you that," he said quietly. "It will be our little secret." There was no particular purpose behind his offer. He had just noticed how thin she was and realised that they weren't feeding her properly. But it could be a first step towards a trust he would have to earn, little by little. "You can eat it. I won't tell them."

Rose liked having a clean place, but they barely ever cleaned the room they kept her locked in so she wouldn't hurt or manipulate anyone. She hated being in dirty places, but she couldn't complain. Otherwise she would get in trouble. They didn't give her access to water or anything because they said she didn't deserve to be treated as a human. She had to use one of the corners as a bathroom, like an animal. Is was really disgusting and she hated it. She hated being in such a small space.

Rose was thankful he didn't choose the corner chair, for that was what the other therapists chose. She played with her long blondish brown hair, twirling it between her fingers to keep herself busy and in control. Her eyes watched the man as he sat cross legged on her bed. She indeed was terrified and they were just being mean to her. They were just drugging her. So, she had a reason to go crazy.

Rose's gaze averted to where she heard the noise, then back at Maxence. She stayed silent. Only her soft breathing was audible. Her stomach growled loudly as soon as she saw the chocolate and banana bar. She flinched away from him a little as he pushed the bar towards her, but nodded a little at his words. She indeed was thin. They didn't feed her often at all. Maxence had a lot of work to do to earn her trust.

Rose slowly took the bar and unwrapped it. She shoved the whole thing in her mouth hungrily and savoured the taste of the new food as she chewed it. She soon swallowed it with some trouble because of the large bite. She whimpered a little as there was no more. She put the wrapper down near him so he could take it. She looked at him, silently thanking him for the food, which made her stomach quiet down.

Maxence observed her silently, not moving much so he wouldn't scare her. He saw how mistrustful she was towards him. It would take time before she started trusting him, but he wouldn't let her down. He was her last chance and she was his first patient. He couldn't start with a failure, and didn't want to. He felt very sorry for the girl and promised himself to do anything to help her. No matter what would happen. He had read all the notes from all the therapists who had come to help her and didn't understand how it was possible that everyone had run away and let her down, forcing her to live into that miserable dirty cell. The girl was starving. Probably hadn't eaten in days.

He watched her behaviour towards his 'gift'. He didn't make a move in her direction or in the opposite direction. He stayed sat still on her bed and watched her as she greedily ate the bar he had given her. It was their very first interaction. He was taking the things slowly. He didn't want to make her feel rushed. He grabbed the wrapper and put it back in his bag. He would throw it away later. He pulled a small bottle of water out of his bag. He had managed to keep it. Once again, he placed it on the bed and slightly pushed it towards her.

"It was supposed to be my snack of the day. I'm still like a kid on that point," he admitted. "But you seem to need it more than me." His voice was quiet. He never changed his tone.

Rose was mistrustful towards everyone, really. She had a reason to be. No one was helping her. They only managed make a drug addict of her and they didn't even know it. Maxence was her last chance, her only hope. She doubted he was gonna stay though. She figured he was just gonna leave and she would be considered as a lost case. The other therapists didn't have any heart apparently. They didn't care. They cared more about themselves than her. Rose hated that dirty cell, but that was the only place she was ever in. They wouldn't take her to a different room.

Rose hadn't eaten in a while. A few days at least, except for the chunk of hard bread they had given her that morning. She greedily ate the bar in silence. It was their very first interaction and it was a small one. But it was something. She watched him put the wrapper back in his bag and took the water slowly. She opened it and listened to him. Her lips twitched at his words. He indeed was like a kid in that area still. But if he got hungry throughout the day, it was understandable to have a snack.

"T-t-thank you," she murmured quietly.

It was the first words she had said in days before she drank the whole bottle of water as greedily as she had eaten the bar. She was unable to save any for later because she was too thirsty. She was thankful Maxence had never changed his tone. He was quiet, and it was kinda peaceful. A real change from the nurses' yells she was used to.

Maxence nodded quietly. "They're not treating you very well down here. I wonder why they all look so terrified of you, when you're the only one allowed to be afraid of them."

He sighed deeply and observed her as she drank the whole bottle of water. How long had they been keeping her down here without any food, water or cleanliness? It was inhuman to let someone live in such a place, to treat someone that way. It was revolting him, but he remained very quiet.

"I'm gonna ask for a transfer. To another room. A clean one, with a bathroom. And I'll make sure you'll always have the food and water you need."

Maxence was a newbie in the profession so maybe they wouldn't listen to him. Or maybe they would leave her there all the time he wasn't there and transfer her to a clean room when he would have to see her. That seemed like something they could do. Something he couldn't approve of. Rose couldn't stay here. Maxence pulled out her record from his bag and opened it in his lap. He looked for his glasses.

"Where did I put them again?" he muttered for himself. There were on his head like always, and yet it was still looking for them. He should know it by now, but he was always looking for his glasses. "It's a funny thing how you can always look for something and yet, know that it's here, under your nose." He finally managed to find his glasses and put it back on his nose. He took a look at her file once again. "You've seen all the therapists this country can count and no one has even been able to ask for a transfer in a better room. What kind of people are they? You can't possibly look at a patient in such a situation and do nothing about it."

Maxence was talking more for himself than for her. Rose nodded slowly, even if he wasn't looking at her or talking to her. They indeed weren't treating her very well in that institute. They were treating her like an animal almost. She knew why they were all terrified of her, but she wouldn't hurt them. She always hurt herself instead. However, she had almost hurt a few of them. She was the only one allowed to be scared of them though. They had freedom. She did not.

Rose shut the bottle when it was empty and put it back down in front of him. She nodded a bit at his words as he said something about transferring her to a different room. She didn't have any hope that they would accept that request, but she was glad that he thought she was worth a try.

"Thank you," she murmured again.

In the bottom of her heart, even she was telling herself not to believe anything coming from that stranger, Rose hoped they would listen to him. She didn't want to be in that cell. She didn't want to be in that disgusting room anymore. She figured that they would only transfer her to the room when Maxence would come to see her and then throw her back in that room after he left. She didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to stay there at all. She assumed Maxence wouldn't approve of her staying in that room because of the conditions, but every other therapist never did a damn thing about it. They didn't care. She watched him look for his glasses, studying him closely as she tried not to stare at him.

"T-They didn't care. No one does. They're t-too scared of me."

Rose's voice was just a whisper and sniffled quietly. Maxence grabbed the empty bottle and put it back in his bag. He felt sorry for not being able to give her more, but he had already given her everything he had in his bag.

"I'm sorry. I don't have anything else on me."

He wished he had had the time to bring something more. The girl obviously needed to eat something substantial and not some chocolate bar he had on him for whenever he felt hungry. He looked at her above his glasses which had slipped on the tip of his nose.

"That's what I don't understand. Really. What do you have inside of you that's making them so afraid of you? It's something that's terrifying you too." He closed the record and put his glasses back on his head. "You gotta know, you're not forced to talk to me if you don't want to. That's what they think in those hospitals. You're feeling awful so you need to talk to someone who has studied for years just to make you talk. No. I don't think it works that way. Not with people as damaged as you are right now. You gotta trust the person you're gonna tell everything you have on your heart. That's my opinion." He pointed to the record. "Those people never gave you a reason to trust them, and they all ran away."

How was he supposed to earn her trust when they had all broken it bit by bit until nothing remained? That's a challenge he was ready to accept. He was gonna show all those so-called therapists with all their experience that he could be a better man and a better therapist than them all. He wasn't bothered with Rose watching his every move.

"It's okay," she said quietly.

Rose indeed needed more than a chocolate bar to eat and a small water bottle to drink. She needed something more substantial, but she understood it wasn't his job to bring her food. She crossed her eyes as he looked at her from above his glasses.

"I feel like you wouldn't believe me if I told you what is inside me," she replied honestly.

"Give it a try, if you feel like talking to me. I'm not forcing you."

"I-it's something called Bad Wolf. It's a Time entity that I t-thought was removed from me. I used to travel with a man called the Doctor. I tried saving his life and in the process, I got Bad Wolf s-stuck inside me. He thought he'd gotten it all out of me and h-he didn't. And it can cause me to be really violent sometimes. It-it caused me indescribable pain every day."

Her voice was lightly trembling, causing her to stutter, but she had managed to explain the situation quietly to him. She didn't have a reason to trust anyone. They went to school for years to do this stuff and they all ran away. They didn't even give her a chance. They just ran at the first sign of danger. They had broken her trust bit by bit and there wasn't much left.

"But that's right. They all r-ran away. You're my last chance. If you run, I have n-no one else to go to. I'm already a lost cause," Rose murmured, her bottom lip still quivering.

Maxence put his hands on his knees and listened to her quietly. He didn't interrupt her, didn't speak until she was done. He remained silent for a few minutes. He hadn't moved, wasn't staring at her with curiosity or with indifference or worse, with fear of the crazy girl.

"That's quite an interesting story you have there,' he finally said. His tone hadn't changed at all. He was still talking to her very quietly. "And before you think I don't believe you, know that I believe into supernatural things. I believe that we're not alone on this Earth and around." He scratched his head lightly. People would say he was encouraging her delirium but that was really what he thought. "I can feel there's more to your story than just those simple words, but I don't need to hear it now. Tell me about that pain, about what Bad Wolf is doing to you."

Maybe that was just some schizophrenia but his instinct was telling him that everything was true. Whoever that girl was, she had seen things people wouldn't believe, things people didn't believe in and that was why she was there. He wouldn't run away. He would help her. No matter how long it would take him to get her out of here.

"I've become a therapist because I wanted to help people. I didn't want that job to be honest. I didn't want to be paid to help people. I am gonna help you. If you allow me to."

Maxence wouldn't be able to do much if she didn't help him. They had to work together. Rose acquiesced a bit. At least, he wasn't forceful. She was so glad he wasn't forceful. He was the first therapist who didn't force her to speak. But after she told him her story, she waited patiently for his reply, watching him as her chin stayed rested on her knees, and picked at her fingers. Maxence wasn't staring at her with curiosity or with indifference or with fear even. Which was shocking for Rose. This man was different to say the least.

Rose let out a small sigh at his first sentence. That's what they all said. Nevertheless, his tone had never changed and she was relieved it didn't. She enjoyed the quiet tone right now. She listened to his response, her lips twitching as he said he believed that they weren't alone in the universe and that he believed in supernatural things. He was right. Supernatural things existed and they indeed weren't alone at all in the universe.

Maxence caught her sigh, before he could go on. Of course that was something they had all said before him. But the difference was that he believed her. He could feel in his guts that she was saying the truth about that Bad Wolf. He didn't mock her or look her any different.

Whenever they said that, they hadn't believed her and they just looked at her like a crazy person. She couldn't believe that he believed her. No one had ever believed her, but he didn't mock her or look at her differently. She was relieved to be taking things slow. She needed things to go slow. She would tell him more later. She would tell him the rest of the big story another time.

"There is more to the story, but I'm sure you aren't interested in hearing it today or even at all."

"I will hear it, but not today. We will take things slow."

He was curious about her story, and when he would know it, it would help him to understand her better. Rose Tyler had seen things no other human had ever seen. She had seen things no one would believe. She had seen many extraordinary things to say the least. She knew that they had to work together but she couldn't trust him yet. Not until he proved himself. Not until he showed her he was trustworthy.

"Bad Wolf causes me to get angry sometimes. Sometimes I don't even know why. I'll just get really angry and really violent in some occasions. It causes me indescribable pain in my head. It's like nothing can make it go away. Like it'll never stop. And I get it every day. It's normally how I wake up. Bad Wolf will cause me pain. And then they have to give me high dosages of this drug every day and sometimes multiple times a day to calm me down."

Maxence listened to her as she told him what Bad Wolf was doing to her, and how they were handling her fits in that institute. He bit the inside of his cheek not to say a thing about that terrible treatment they were giving her. They really didn't how to handle her case.

"I want to try something," he told her quietly. "No drugs, no restraints, no violence. Would you trust me enough to do it?"

Rose knew they didn't know how to handle her because she had had to bear their methods every day for years, but she couldn't do or say anything about it or her situation would get worse, and it was already critical. She bit down on her lip as he said he wanted to try something. She picked at her fingers, her eyes on him.

"… Sure."

Her heart was beating faster nervously as he wondered what he was gonna do. She was afraid of what he could do to her. She was so used to the bad treatments so she kinda expected him to lay a harmful hand on her. The quieter people were often the most violent ones when they lashed out.

Maxence put the record back in his bag and got up. His moves were slow, quiet. He was showing her that he had no intention of running away. He put his bag on the chair in the corner and put his shoes on it. He looked at her and gave her a small reassuring smile.

"It won't hurt. I promise."

Before doing anything, he would explain her what he wanted to do. He couldn't go on and surprise her. If he wanted to earn her trust, he had to go slowly and tell her everything he had in mind. It was a team work. If he wanted something from her, he had to give something from him.

Rose watched him as he slowly put her record back in his bag. She could kinda tell he had no intention in running away. But she wasn't going to immediately assume it. He had to show her. She watched him put his things on the chair in the corner and swallowed silently. She believed him for some reason. She believed that it wouldn't hurt. To earn her trust he indeed had to go slow and tell her everything he had in mind of what he wanted to do to her.

"You're telling me the Bad Wolf is influencing your mood. I don't really understand what you mean with Bad Wolf, but I will. With time. For now, I'm just assuming it's a part of you you don't have any control on, a part of you that can show up whenever you feel in danger or frustrated. Whenever you're feeling a strong negative emotion. Let's say it's your bad side. And all that violence, that anger, you have inside you needs to be brought to a lower level, a bearable level. I'm not gonna do any miracle, but I'm gonna help you to feel relaxed enough." Maxence rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. The word 'RUN' was carved into the skin of his right arm. It was long healed, but it was still visible. "I want you to lay on your back, okay? I'm gonna help your body and mind to relax with a massage. You can close your eyes and keep them open, whatever helps you to feel better." There had been no physical touch between the two of them yet. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with him. "You can refuse. If you feel uncomfortable, you just have to tell me. I will pull away immediately."

"Bad Wolf influences my anger mostly. I have some control over the other emotions," she told him.

Rose was nervous and she had every right to be. She didn't know him, didn't know what he could do to her, and after seeing so many people treating her like shit, feeling confident wasn't something she could do, and he understood that position.

Rose watched him as he rolled his sleeves up and bit her lip at the word carved into his skin. The first word the Doctor had said to her. She swallowed harder and rubbed her eyes casually, rubbing away the tears that were threatening to come. None of the therapists had ever done a massage on her, and she raised an eyebrow lightly at the idea. But she very slowly lay down on the bed on her back, keeping her eyes. She always kept him in sight and listened to him speak. He was her last hope. So, she figured his massage was worth a shot.

Rose nodded. She would let him know if she felt uncomfortable. She had been treated like shit so much that trust and confidence wasn't something she could do. It wasn't something she could feel anymore, but she somehow felt like she could give him a bit of that trust. Just to see. She was thankful someone understood her position. She put her arms at her sides, her hair sprawled out on the bed. She looked at the word carved on his skin again.

"How'd you get that?" she asked quietly.

Her gaze averted back to his face as her hands played with the dirty sheets beneath her. She couldn't help but study his face again. He looked so much like the Doctor, the man she used to love. Not the one who left her behind. How was it possible that someone looking so much like that extraordinary man she was in love with was sent to help her? Was fate sending her a message? Or was it just another way to make her suffer? She let out a shaky breath to try and relax a bit as Maxence slowly walked close to the bed. He stretched a bit.

"It's only fair if we're two to share stories." He had had the word on his arm for as long as he could remember and that wasn't the only word carved on his body. It was just the only one she could see. "I don't really remember how it happened. I woke up in the middle of the night because of the pain. I thought it was just because I was in a bad position. It happens sometimes. But when I switched the lights on, I saw all that blood on my sheets, on my clothes and that word carved on my arm. The nurse who took care of me that night said it was self-inflicted. I don't remember doing it, and I don't know what it means or why I would have done it. This is the only mystery about me. I'm a very ordinary guy."

"I see. I wonder why you carved that into your skin for. There has to be a reason. That was the first word the Doctor ever said to me," she confessed, saying the last part softer.

"That's a nice coincidence. I have that word on my arm for years now. Maybe I'll find the reason, the meaning someday." He slowly rubbed her arms, always making sure she could see his hands. He didn't ask about the Doctor. He wouldn't force her to talk if she didn't want to. He would wait until she felt ready to speak. "I've been running most of my life. Maybe that's a reminder. A sign. I've had this word on my arm for so long I don't notice it anymore."

"Hm. We all get used to the scars on our bodies. It indeed is a sign if you've been running most of your life."

Maxence just nodded. Scars were interesting at first but soon, they became a part of them and they were quickly forgotten until someone asked about them. It was the same for everything little word carved in his skin. He had tried to find a meaning or something but never did find anything. Scars were so interesting and noticeable at first. But soon enough, they were forgotten. Like Rose. Maxence cracked his knuckles.

"My hands might be a bit cold."

"It's fine. I'm used to the cold anyway. The temperature is never changed down here. It just gets colder at night."

They obviously didn't turn on the heating in her room and it was really cold around here. It was autumn, almost winter, and the weather was terrible outside. The hospital was well insulated and heated as a whole. But they were in the isolation area. In the basement of the hospital. Where they put all the patients they couldn't control. Where they thought they had all the rights on the patients, even to treat them in an inhuman way. He placed his hands on her temple and started rubbing her head slowly. His moves were gentle and soft. He looked at the word on his arm and remained silent a moment. Rose flinched as Maxence's hands touched her head and closed her eyes a little. She wondered if there were other words on his body besides that one and what they were if there was any.

Rose shivered at her own words. They indeed didn't turn on the heating in the basement. It was cold down there all the time. Rose didn't know what season it was since she couldn't see outside. There wasn't any window in her cell. The hospital was well insulated and heated, but it wasn't as warm down in the basement, where they were, as it was upstairs. Down there, the nurses thought they had all the rights on the patients. They even had the guts to not treat them as humans.

"Sorry. Do you want me to stop?" he asked when he felt her flinching.

"No, you're fine," she replied softly.

His hands slowly went from her head, to her neck and then, shoulders. His gestures were slow and soft and he always made sure to be in her field of vision so she wouldn't freak out. That massage was to help her to relax, not to add more stress on her.

Rose watched his hands closely while chewing the inside of her cheek. She was thankful that his hands were always in her field of vision. She really wondered why he had a word carved in his arm. There had to be a reason. Maybe he would find out why one day. She glanced around the small and dirty room. If you took a deep enough breath, you could smell some pee and poop, which was highly embarrassing. But it was all Rose had.

Maxence nodded. Rose had been locked down there for years. It was surprising that she hadn't caught a cold or worse. The smell in the cell was almost unbearable. It was making him feel nauseous. How could they leave her locked in such a horrible cell? He couldn't let her in such a condition anymore. As soon as they would come to open the door, he would order a transfer. He would supervise it and make sure she had a free access to a bathroom and food and heating.

"How do you handle it? The outfit, the blanket, it's not much to protect you from the cold. Are they giving you some soup to help you get warmer?"

He doubted that they did but he asked anyway. He could tell she had lost track of time. The isolation and solitude tended to do such a thing, to make someone forget about the progression of time. About their own name.

Rose had caught a couple colds from being down here, but she had managed to always get rid of them. Hopefully she wouldn't get another one. She hadn't been feeling very well the last few days. Maybe she was getting another one, and the almost unbearable smell made it worse. It made her nauseous every day. She didn't know how the medical staff could leave her down there in such a horrible cell. She wouldn't be able to thank him enough for getting her transferred to another room if it happened. Hopefully they would listen to him.

"I don't handle it very well. I've been sick pretty often down here. I just got over a cold a few days ago. The outfits are thin and so are the blankets. We aren't given much to be protected from the cold. And we don't get soup. That's for people upstairs. We sometimes get spoiled food or sometimes fresh food if we're really lucky."

It was a chance that she only caught some colds and nothing worse than that. With such surroundings, it was surprising. A lot of diseases probably were proliferating there. He could definitely not leave her here and go back to his life as if nothing had happened.

Rose was so glad that she has just caught a cold and nothing much else. There indeed were so many diseases brewing down here, threatening to get her sick at any moment.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I never thought establishments like this existed. I'll get your transfer into a better room. Even if I have to hit someone."

Which would probably end his career before it even started. He had to let them know that he wouldn't accept that treatment anymore. If they wanted Rose to get better, they would have to help him get her out of here. An inspection and the place would be shut down for sure. But he guessed that whoever had sent Rose here didn't have much money for her health and that was why she was treated so badly.

Rose didn't wanna be left in there anymore. She was glad Maxence was gonna get her transferred to a different room. He was the first one to ever try to do something for her. Maybe he was the one. Maybe he was the therapist that would get her out of there. But she didn't want to hope too much so she wouldn't be disappointed when he would run away. Her mother didn't have a lot of money and that was why that was the place she was brought to. Rather than a nicer mental hospital.

"Thank you." She sighed. "Oh, they do. They sadly do exist. It's horrible here."

Rose shouldn't be thanking him until the change was done for real. She would be disappointed if he didn't manage to convince them. And he would have failed her. That was something Maxence didn't want to do in any way. He was trying to build a bound, to create trust between the two of them. If he failed at transferring her, he would have to start all over again next time he would come over. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let a human being live into that room and he wouldn't leave the hospital before he got what he wanted, what she needed.

Rose wanted to thank him because no one else had ever transferred her to a different room. They never promised to get her a better place. They just left her in this dirty place, claiming that she deserved to be here in this room because she would never be good enough for anyone. That she would never be good enough to get out of here. And now she believed that. But that man seemed to want the best she could get at the moment. He seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't leave until they got what they wanted.

"When they teach you the job, they don't talk about the wrong side of it all. I just came out of school. Had my certificate last week. I never thought I would be recruited so quickly. Maybe that's a test. For you. For me. Like they do with teachers. Sending them in the worst establishments around the town. If you can take up the challenge, you're good. If you can, you're out."

Maxence didn't know why he was telling her such things. It wasn't very encouraging for her to know that he was a newbie, that he didn't know the job pretty well for now and to hear that he was implying that she was the worst case locked in the worst hospital around the town. He mentally cursed himself.

"Well, good job on graduating. I'm glad you got recruited so quickly."

No, it wasn't encouraging to know that he was a newbie, but he was a nice newbie. He was implying that she was the worst case in town. Locked in the worst hospital. Rose closed her eyes. She couldn't blame him. It was true. They all had told her she was the worst case they had ever seen. She had started believing it too. And she was well placed to know that hospital was the worst in town.

"Well, thanks. I was as surprised as happy. Even if happiness isn't really a right word for what I do. I help people getting out of their pain and despair, leading them to the happiness and relief. So, I hope I'll be able to lead you on that path, no matter the time it will take. I don't give up so easily."

Some people, his girlfriend and brother in the first line, said he was like a dog. Once he bit something, he didn't loosen his grip. It would be the same with his patients now. He wouldn't let them down. He would go despite all opposition to help them.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you get to help people get out of their pain and despair and lead them to a bath of happiness and relief. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get on that path of happiness and relief."

The Doctor had said that about Rose too. He had said that she never gave up easily and that she was a fighter. She would be kinda sad to know that Maxence was dating someone else, but she doubted that anyone would ever want to be with someone like her. He deserved to be happy. She didn't want Maxence to let her down. She would be heartbroken if he did. More than when the other therapists let her down.

Maxence remained silent for a moment. The path of happiness and relief was a hard path to reach when you fell as low as she did, and it was full of failures and ordeals. It was a long path which asked for a lot of efforts. It was a hard path to get back on but Maxence was convinced everyone could do it. Even Rose.

"Someone once told me that everything was in your mindset. Believing in yourself is the first step to achieve anything. This is a part of my job, giving you that faith in yourself. It's essential to lead you on the right path."

But it was also one of the most difficult part of his job. When people like Rose were locked up in such a terrible place to the point of losing track of time, they slowly fell into a deeper madness, a deeper darkness and they couldn't see the hand someone was holding out to them. Maxence was the last of many people to come around her, people who had broken her even more than she was when she was first locked up in there. His part now was to pick up all the pieces of this broken women and to help her sticking them back together.

The path of happiness and relief was a path that Rose couldn't really see herself ever going on, because of everything she had been through. She felt so low and she doubted that she could reach that path.

"I don't know if I can ever see myself on that path. Where I'm at now, I don't think I'll ever get back on that path. I wanna try though."

Rose swallowed quietly. She could feel herself slowly falling into a deeper madness and a deeper darkness. She couldn't really see the hand he was holding out to her to help her. So many people had broken her down and she was worse than she had been when she first came here. Maxence Spitz was the one that had to pick up all her pieces.

Maxence could understand her position and he was there to help her getting through that terrible ordeal in her life. He would have a lot of work, but he would succeed. He had to succeed. He couldn't let her in that situation.

"That's why I'm here," he told her with a small smile.

He knew she was stuck in a madness and darkness so deep it would be hard for her to see the hand he was holding out to her. He would grab her and pull her up if needed. He wouldn't let her down.

Rose was relieved a bit that he could understand her position. Maxence indeed had a lot of work. But she was sure he would succeed. He seemed like someone who didn't give up easily. She gave him a tiny smile in return. It was hard for her to see the hand he was holding out to her. She was stuck in a madness and darkness so deep that she was scared of herself. She was scared of what she was capable of.

"And I'll make sure to have some good food on me next time I'll come."

"Thank you. I'll really appreciate that. My stomach will too."

Rose was his first patient, his first case, and it was important for the both of them. Plus, the girl was nice. He didn't understand why people were afraid of her. The Bad Wolf hadn't showed up yet, and he doubted that Rose would hurt him if it ever showed up.

Rose knew that the first patient was the most important patient when it came to certain careers. She was a nice girl. She was a nice and gentle and loving girl. But not when Bad Wolf showed up though. However, Bad Wolf was pretty calm with this guy around.

"How do you feel?"

His hands were still soft and slow on her body as he was getting down. He didn't go any lower than her waist. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable in any way. For now, it would be good. He could tell she was feeling a bit more relaxed now.

"I feel much better, thank you," she told him honestly. "What season is it outside? What day is it today?"

She indeed felt much more relaxed than she had when he had first come in to the room. She ran a hand through her knotted hair and picked at her fingers. She hadn't brushed her hair with her hands yet. That was obvious.

"Autumn. It's November, the seventh. A rainy windy Monday," he answered her. "I'm glad to hear it. You can sit up if you want to. I am done."

Rose's lips twitched sadly. "My dad died twenty-nine years ago today." Rose frowned and closed her eye for a moment.

"I'm sorry," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Maxence never had the chance to really know his father either and the only memories he had of him were bad ones. His father was a very violent man, and his mother kicked him out of the house. Maxence had grown up with only his mother. Rose and him were the same on that point.

"I only have my mother too."

"It's okay."

No, it wasn't okay. For him or for her. Losing someone never was okay, because it was also losing the chance to know them, to create memories with them. His mother never talked about his father for an obvious reason, and he never asked questions. There wasn't any picture of him at home. Nothing to remind them of the terrible man he had been. Maxence didn't even remember what his father looked like, but he would always remember his violence.

Maxence pulled his hands away from her body and rolled his sleeves down, hiding the word once again. He had forgotten about it until she asked about it. He wondered what it could possibly mean, and why that word had appeared on his arm so suddenly. He couldn't have carved it himself and not remember it right?

She knew it wasn't okay that she lost her father. Because she never got to meet him. Never got to make new memories with him. Rose hadn't had the chance to know her father either. She knew kind of a lot about her father. Rose shrugged.

"How is your anger?"

Rose sat up slowly when he was done and started brushing her hair by running her fingers through it gently. She hadn't cared much about the way she looked all the time she was down there, but that man was making her feel really embarrassed to look so lame. She wished she wasn't so disgusting and ugly and dirty.

"Hum, it's good actually. It's bearable. Bad Wolf seems to be calmer when you're here."

Rose looked at him. Once again. Maxence straightened his shirt and scratched his head lightly. He seemed so awkward, so uncomfortable in that room, and yet, he was so soothing. There was something about her that made her calm. Or was it because he looked like the Doctor so much?

"Did it happen before? Was the Wolf calm with the other therapists, or did it show up soon as they were here with you?"

"Bad Wolf has never been calm around anyone. Only you. It always showed up as soon as they came here with me."

"Pretty weird. Maybe it's the soft touch. Be soft and the Wolf becomes a kitty."

"I don't know. It's weird. Bad Wolf hasn't been calm like this in a very long time. But maybe you're right."

"It's a good thing for you. Your Wolf is quiet for now. It means you can fully relax and rest as much as you need."

"Yeah. It is good. Hopefully I can get some rest for once. It's nice that the Wolf is quiet."

Rose smiled slightly but the smile was nearly impossible to see. Maxence noticed it though, he was trained to see every change in people's behaviour and mood and he knew he had made the first step. He had created the first bound. He was doing good, but Rose was still protecting herself and she had a reason to.

"I'll make sure you do. I'll help you to stay calm so you can get some rest. My job isn't only about making people speak. It's also about helping them to relax, to help them feel better by some small acts. I'll try my best so you can get that rest you need so much."

"Thank you. I need the rest. I can't seem to get it anymore. I know that just making people speak isn't your only job."

Rose was suddenly feeling a little nauseous and knew that in the next minutes, she would be sick. As usual. She also knew that she would get punished for being sick. Maxence noticed her going paler than she already was.

"Are you okay?"

Rose shook her head at his question. She was already pale and was surprised that she was going even paler. She really didn't feel good right now.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," she whimpered.

Rose immediately went over to the corner with all the faeces in it and threw up. Her back was on him. She held her hair back the best she could. Maxence came closer and gently rubbed her back and held her hair back for her. He definitely had to get her out of here. He too was sick in his stomach just by the view and the smell. Living here would make him mad and much sicker than she was. Strong girl. Maybe out of habit.

Rose flinched at his touch again and closed her eyes. He slightly pulled away when he felt her flinching under his hand, but kept rubbing her back. She swallowed hard, which just caused her to vomit again. She wiped her mouth carefully when she was done. She was trembling. She always felt miserable down here. She always felt sick. But she was a strong girl. It was out of habit to be strong.

"Come on, lay back down a little."

It was useless to ask Rose if she felt better. She still was pale, and he could see she was trembling. Maxence gently pushed her to the bed. He wasn't forcing her. It was just a proposition he was doing to her, but when he heard the door being unlocked, he knew she wouldn't go back into her bed, that she would try and put as much distance as she could between what was coming and herself…


	2. Transfer

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 2/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : ****"The nurse walked to Rose, really angry. She was gonna give her a good walloping to make her understand that she had enough of cleaning her mess. It was time for her to learn the hard way that she couldn't do whatever she wanted there."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.**

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CHAPTER 2: TRANSFER

Rose gladly took Maxence's offer to go to her bed because she felt miserable. She was already feeling weak and sick when he had come in the room earlier, but it was worse now that she had been sick for good. She was cold and trembling and dizzy. She didn't know if she would survive another night in there. She didn't know if she would have the strength to fight one more minute. She had reached her limits. Definitely. And that man, that so gentle man, was her only chance out of that hospital. He seemed very determined to help her, and that was good to see. She really wanted to trust him, to believe that he could help her get better and get out of there, but she was afraid. Afraid of trusting someone else who could crush her hopes. She was clinging to that last chance though, clinging to the fact he hadn't run away, that he had stayed with her, that he hadn't thought she was crazy. He was even _touching_ her. None of the therapists she had seen before had been that close to her.

Rose smiled slightly. Once again, the smile was nearly impossible to see, but it was there. She slowly walked back to her bed when Maxence gently pushed her. He almost smiled when she accepted to go to her bed, but the nurse coming in ruined all his efforts. Rose looked at the door to see who was there. Her eyes grew big when she saw the nurse and immediately went to the nearest wall that wasn't too dirty. She sat down and brought her knees tightly to her chest. She wouldn't go back to bed now. She wanted as much distance as she could get between what was coming for her and herself. She bit her lip and looked at Maxence. She didn't feel any better, and the nurse was making it all worse.

"The hour is up, doctor Spitz."

Maxence glanced at his watch. He had indeed been here for a whole hour. He hadn't seen the time passing by. Rose frowned a little at the statement. She didn't want Maxence to go. She enjoyed his company. It was the first time she ever felt calm with someone from the medical staff on that hospital, the first time someone ever _cared_ for her in there. She didn't want to lose that. Not yet. She wasn't ready to let him go so easily.

The nurse looked around the room. She really was surprised that Maxence hadn't run away from the room as soon as she opened it, but she didn't say anything about it. She noticed the puddle of vomit in the corner and the strong smell of it bothered her. Anger sparked in her eyes.

"Damn it! She's been sick again!"

The nurse walked to Rose, really angry. She was gonna give her a good walloping to make her understand that she had enough of cleaning her mess. It was time for her to learn the hard way that she couldn't do whatever she wanted there. However, Maxence wasn't seeing things her way. Soon as he saw the anger on her face, he stood in front of Rose in a protective move and prevented the woman from reaching her.

"You think it's funny? You think I like cleaning your mess, you stupid mad bitch?" yelled the nurse at Rose.

She was angrier now because Maxence was preventing her from disciplining that damn patient causing them troubles all of the time, but she still tried to hit Rose though he was blocking her way. Maxence caught her arm before she could reach Rose though.

Rose swallowed at the nurse's anger. She was used to it. They were 'disciplining' her all the time in that hospital. Everything she was doing was wrong, even when she was doing whatever they were forcing her to do. That was why she was so scared of them all. With the power of the Wolf, she could erase them from time and space but she had promised herself a lot time ago not to use that power, not to let herself being corrupt by that power. Nevertheless, Rose knew that if Maxence hadn't been here, she would have been slapped around – and maybe more – by that nurse, and she knew that he wasn't a man who would allow someone to touch her, to punish her for something she had no control on.

"I want her to be transferred into another room. She can't stay here anymore."

The nurse was surprised by his sudden words. She looked up at him to see if he was serious or he was joking. He couldn't be serious. They had all run away from that room after the first hour. But not him. It was the first time someone made a stand for Rose Tyler, and the nurse didn't like that. She didn't like the fact someone was protecting her scapegoat.

"She's responsible for all that mess, doctor."

"No. She isn't. How can she get better if you lock her in such a room where she has to live in her own excretions, in the cold with no access to a bathroom or to good food? This is not how we treat a human being, miss."

"She deserves it, doctor. She isn't good to anyone."

"She has been good to me."

The nurse looked at him as if he was lying to her. He was a newbie. He could have been fooled. All the other therapists had given up on her after the first hour. She had made them run away in just an hour. She was always provoking them and fighting them. She was dangerous. Or was it just a strategy? She knew Maxence Spitz was a newbie, the last therapist who could help her. Maybe she had decided to show her good side to him so he would let her out. It seemed to work so far.

Rose flinched and scrambled as far away from the nurse as she could get without leaving the room. She sniffled quietly and bit down on her trembling lip. She couldn't help that she didn't feel good at all. She wasn't responsible for that mess. She had needs too. She was trembling more now but was trying to hide it.

Rose wasn't all bad. She was a good person. She just had something in her head that caused her not to have full control over her emotions. She wasn't mean to everyone. She couldn't really control the anger anyway. She blinked back a few tears and watched Maxence and the nurse closely, listening to them. She hated the names that they called her and how they treated her. How they would throw her around sometimes like she was nothing. She didn't know if she would ever be the same girl she once had been because of these evil people.

"I wanna go home," she mumbled under her breath with the voice of a child, her words lightly audible by accident. But they didn't seem to hear it.

"Or you're finding her a better room with a full access to a bathroom and good food, or I'm calling the inspection to report you."

Maxence stood firm on his demands. He wouldn't leave until he had what he had asked for. The nurse was observing him and trying to know if he was joking or anything, but he wasn't. He was really serious, but he was a newbie. He wouldn't dare. It would ruin his career from the start if he did anything against them.

Rose could tell Maxence wouldn't leave until he got what he wanted. She would be forever grateful if he was getting her out of here by force, but he had just gotten his job and she didn't want him losing that. She knew that the people here didn't want a call to have the place inspected so he was playing the right card there. It was to hope that he wasn't gonna lose his job for using that card. It was to hope that it would work.

"I don't care about my career, miss. If I let you treat miss Tyler the way you're treating her, I don't deserve my certificates and job." And he would rather quit and get Rose Tyler out of here by force. "Now, you better do what I am asking for."

"I'll see if a room is free to transfer her."

The nurse got free from Maxence's hold and left the room without a second glance. She locked the door and left him with Rose Tyler once again.

Rose let out a little sigh as the nurse left the room. She killed a spider with her bare foot and wiped the guts off her foot lightly. She sniffled quietly and buried her face into her knees, not caring about her dirty outfit at the moment. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to be clean. She didn't wanna feel miserable everyday anymore. Was that too much to ask for?

After the nurse left, Maxence gathered his things together. He put his bag on his shoulder and grabbed the shoes. He observed Rose silently and put the shoes down next to her. He didn't need them. He would get his own shoes back when he would get out of here so he wouldn't need those ones anymore. Rose could use it. Maybe she would get a little bit warmer. Or at least, it would protect her feet. He sat down on the bed, still avoiding the chair in the corner.

Rose's eyes were the only thing that moved as she watched him gather his things together. She then buried her face back into her knees carefully. Rose doubted that they would let her have those shoes so she would probably not take them, for she didn't want to be accused of stealing them. She wanted to be as warm as she could be. Or at least be able to protect her feet as well as keep them warm. But she couldn't take any risk. She didn't want to be punished anymore. Maxence had shown her she could be treated as a human, and she wanted them all to finally see her as a human instead of a beast.

Maxence rubbed his arm with the word 'RUN' carved in thoughtfully. The word hadn't hurt in a long time and suddenly it was getting itchy. Probably just because he had woken up the memory of it when he answered Rose's question about it. Rose was still observing him. She chewed her lip, something she did when she was nervous.

Maxence looked at her. That poor girl curled up in the corner of the room. Dirty. Miserable. And he hope he could change that. No. He was gonna change that. That was his thought when the door was unlocked again and three nurses came in.

"Did you find a better room? Or did you bring more people to throw me outside?" he asked, still looking at Rose.

"We have a room. We're transferring her. Just like you asked."

Two nurses came into the room and immediately walked to Rose. One of them was holding a straitjacket and the other had a syringe full of some drugs that would keep her quiet for the transfer. They all feared her in that hospital but they had the means to overpower her.

Rose's gaze averted to the door quickly when she heard it open and she observed the three nurses. She saw the syringe and the straightjacket and immediately hid under the bed, ignoring the pain it caused her to cram herself into the tiny space. Some drugs were still in her system from the dose she had had earlier and she didn't have the urge or want for any more drugs at the moment. She swallowed hard and wiped off whatever bugs were on her. She stayed as quiet as she could. She hated bugs and spiders, but it was better than what the nurses had in mind for her. She wasn't trembling as bad as earlier, but she was still trembling and the anxiety didn't help in any way. She sneezed quietly and wiped her nose with her sleeve. She curled up the best she could under the bed to protect herself. Anything to put as much distance between her and that straightjacket and drugs as possible. She let out a small whimper.

Maxence was seriously pissed off with that hospital now. His heart hurt when he saw Rose crawling to hide herself under the bed so they wouldn't use any of their restraints on her. She didn't blame him for being pissed off with the hospital. She was really angry at it too and wanted out of there as soon as she could be. She had been there for too long already. She curled up tighter in the corner at the anger she could sense in the room.

"Wait." Maxence got up and once again stood between the hidden Rose and the nurses. "What do you think you're doing with that?"

"I don't know what she told you, doctor," the nurse sighed. But we had her under our watch for a year. We know how she is. We have to keep her calm while we're transferring her."

"With a straitjacket and drugs? Not gonna happen."

"Doctor…"

"Give her a chance," he cut her off. "If you don't give her a chance to anything, how can she be fine?"

The nurses looked confused but they didn't seem like they wanted to listen to him or to obey his orders. They wanted to do it their way and nothing would stop them. The two nurses with the restraints were still trying to reach Rose but Maxence stayed in their way. He looked at them all, a bright spark of anger burning in his eyes.

"Out."

"What?"

"The three of you. Out. Now."

"What does that mean?"

"That means she is terrified of you, of what you're gonna do to her. Now, wait outside. We won't need any of this."

The three nurses looked at each other, surprised and still confused. Maxence Spitz was the first one to make a stand for Rose Tyler, to ask for her to be free from her movements. She obviously hadn't showed him how dangerous she truly was. The nurses came out as he asked though and closed the door behind them. They didn't lock it and waited outside while Maxence lay down on the dirty ground to look at Rose.

No one had ever stood up for her all the time she had been here. Maxence was the first, and that was surprising to her. More than it was for the nurses. They weren't used to have someone go against them that way. They hated it but they had to play his game for now. They would find a way to hold their own against him, and to act like they always did with Rose.

Rose looked at Maxence as he lay down on the dirty ground with her. She chewed on her quivering lip, blinking away the tears as she tried calming down the looming panic. She closed her eyes for a moment to calm down Bad Wolf before it could cause any trouble. She was trembling and painfully curled up. She was just scared, miserable and sick. She was still even scared of Maxence, but he was proving himself to be trustworthy so the scared feeling was lessening slowly.

"Hey, this is okay. I won't let them touch you. Can you come out of here for me? As much as they probably like our company, I'm not a fan of bugs and spiders." Plus, it wasn't very good for their health to be laying in the middle of those bugs and dirt. They were all carrying some diseases. "I will protect you. They will have to go through me before they can touch you."

"I'm not a fan of bugs and spiders either. I hate them," Rose replied honestly.

"Yeah, that's an opinion I can understand."

"Yeah. They're terrible to say the least. I've slept with them for longer than I'd like to admit. But you get used to being around them."

She knew it wasn't good for their health to lay here so she very slowly came out from under the bed. She stood up and stretched a little. She wiped off some stuff on her already dirty clothes. She believed Maxence. He had proven that he was trustworthy, but she wasn't gonna open up so easily. It would take some time. He was being protective of her though and that was nice to see. But that was also something she had to get used to since he planned on staying.

Maxence hated bugs and spiders too. He was a bit afraid of them but wouldn't admit it. He observed Rose as she was trying to calm herself down. She was doing good. It was probably a habit to do it by herself since no one seemed to have done anything to help her around there. He waited until she was out of her hiding place and got up. He wiped away the dust and other things he would rather not know what it was. He would probably burn his shirt when he would be back home. He picked up the shoes and held them out to Rose.

"Put them on. I've got my socks on so I don't feel the cold. You'll feel better with them on."

Rose ran a hand through her hair lightly as she finally calmed herself down and sighed deeply. It was a habit to do it by herself. She had no one to help her calm down so she had to do it herself all the time. She had to do everything by herself. No one had ever helped her in there. She looked at the shoes Maxence held out to her and took them slowly.

"Thank you."

Rose slowly put the shoes on. The feeling of wearing shoes again was very weird to her. It was a new feeling. She hadn't worn shoes in such a long time, but she would get used to it. Slowly. She was thankful for Maxence's help and she gave him a tiny smile, glancing at the door briefly to make sure the nurses weren't watching them or trying to get in. She kept her hands at her sides and played with the hem of her dirty shirt.

Rose didn't have to admit it to him. He had guessed it by now. She had been in isolation for months according to her records. It could have been years that she wouldn't have noticed it since the isolation made the patient slowly drift into a condition he couldn't be reached anymore. That room was the perfect example of a room you sent the patients in when you thought there was nothing left to do, but not everyone was a lost cause. They had just thrown her in there some time ago and forgotten about her. She didn't know exactly how long she had been in that cell. She just knew it had been a while.

Rose was nearly in the condition where she couldn't be reached anymore, because everyone thought she was a lost cause. She felt like it. She felt like she was a lost cause because of how she had been treated. Hopefully, Maxence would prove her wrong. He was observing her silently. The shoes he had given her were a bit too big for her, but, at least, her feet wouldn't be as cold as they used to be. They had missed the comfort of something beneath them to make them not hurt so much. Maxence explained her slowly how things were gonna happen now.

"We're gonna get out of here, okay? The nurse is waiting for us outside. She will lead us to your new room. You'll be able to take a shower, change clothes and have a real lunch. But first, you will have to stay close to me. They won't dare doing any harm to you if I'm here. Are you ready?"

"Yeah. I'm ready," she replied.

Rose hesitantly walked close to him and stood as close of him as she could without feeling uncomfortable or having the fear that someone would hurt her. That was why she was keeping some distance between them. She hoped the nurses wouldn't just keep her in the clean room while Maxence was here and throw her back in there while he was gone. She didn't wanna be in that room anymore. She wanted to feel like a human and be treated like one.

Maxence opened the door. Two nurses were still waiting for him. The third one was gone with the drugs and the straightjacket. He almost sighed in relief that they actually listened to him, but he knew the second nurse was only here to 'control' Rose if she did anything wrong. She would have to get through him to do anything though.

Rose swallowed at the sight of the women and let her gaze drop to the ground. She never liked giving the nurses eye contact because then, they thought she was defying them and they took it as an offer to always be mean to her. She sighed under her breath in relief as she noticed the third nurse was gone, along with the drugs and straight jacket.

"Are you really sure about that, doctor Spitz?"

"I am. And you're both walking in from of me. I hate being followed."

The nurses looked at each other but didn't say a thing. They would discuss about his methods later, when he would be gone and unable to hear them anymore. They already had been bets and rumours about him before he came in, and there would be more now that they had met him, now that he had shown them who he was and what he was capable of. They were distrustful about Maxence's methods, but Rose wasn't gonna do anything wrong. Bad Wolf was calm at the moment. She hated being followed too. So, she was glad that they would be in the back.

"What have you done of your shoes?"

Maxence looked down and wriggled his toes playfully. Rose pointed to her feet as they asked where his shoes were. She picked at her fingers as she waited for her transfer to start. She didn't have any belongings there so it would be quick. If the nurses stopped trying to keep her down in that cell.

"You don't like my socks?" he asked, shrugging a bit. "I prefer my boots. You're gonna give them back to me so I gave the shoes without shoelaces to miss Tyler. They're a bit big. I hope you're gonna give her shoes that fit her feet."

"I doubt they're gonna give me anything for my feet. They'll probably make me give these back to them," Rose mumbled to him.

The nurses ignored the both of them. They didn't add anything and just walked away. Maxence followed them, making sure Rose was walking close to him. She walked close to him in silence as they were heading to her new room. She kept some space between herself and Maxence but stayed close to him. Just in case. They were brought to the upper floor, and to a room much more spacious and brighter and cleaner and warmer than the one they had just left. The sheets were clean and there was a clean outfit on the bed.

"I'm gonna help miss Tyler to settle down in her new room and supervise the shower. You can come around later."

Once again, the nurses didn't discuss and just obeyed. They left the room without a word and locked the door behind them while Rose stood there. She squinted her eyes a little at the new, cleaner and brighter room. She sighed at the warmth and rubbed her arms a bit. Her lips twitched at the sight of the clean bed and outfit. She swallowed as at the idea of Maxence supervising the shower though. Last time a man had supervised her shower it hadn't ended well and she didn't want that situation to happen again. She ran a hand through her hair and wiped her bloody fingers on her dirty outfit. She looked around the room quietly.

Maxence looked around after the nurses were gone. He checked everything, making sure it was all in the norm and perfect to welcome a human being. The bedroom was perfect. He walked to the small bathroom and checked everything. They had taken away everything that could be used as a weapon, only leaving a razor. The shower was always a supervised activity. No patient could take it alone because of the risks of suicide. He checked the small cupboard and found a few clean outfits, towels, hairbrush, soap feminine products like tampons and sanitary pads.

Rose was also taking a look around her to get used to her new surroundings. She played with her hands and grabbed the clean outfit off the bed, waiting for Maxence to check and make sure everything was perfect for a human. She assumed they only left a razor for her to shave with. She knew how to break it and get the razor out though, but she didn't mention that. She knew the shower was always a supervised activity and she hated it. They were always watching her like some science experiment or something. It made her feel uncomfortable.

"Everything looks good to me."

"Okay. Good to know."

Maxence grabbed the razor and came back into the room. He faced Rose who was still standing in the middle of the room. She looked pretty amazed by that new room and he couldn't blame her. After months in the isolation cell, that room must look like some kind of paradise to her.

"I won't come with you in the bathroom. This would be disrespectful of me. Just let the door open enough for me to hear but not see. I trust you with this." He gave her the razor. "I'll get it back when you'll be done. The bathroom is all yours."

"Thank you. I would like a little privacy at least. And I'll keep that door open enough for hearing only. Is there a time limit?"

Rose walked to the bathroom doorway and looked at him. She leaned against the doorway lightly, waiting for his answer. She took the razor slowly and bit her lip lightly. She hadn't touched a razor in a while and though she was promising herself not to do anything with it, it was really tempting to end the hell quicker.

"I'm giving you that privacy," promised Maxence, looking at her straight in the eyes. "You have my trust about the razor. Don't ruin it. The chance is not gonna happen twice."

"I know. I'm not gonna do anything bad with it. I promise. I know this chance won't happen again."

He was serious. It was very dangerous and unprofessional of him to let her alone in the bathroom with a razor. She could use it to hurt herself badly or to kill herself and then, she would lose her only chance to get out of here because he would lose his job for professional misconduct and recklessness.

Rose knew he was serious and knew he could lose his job if she did something bad. She could lose his trust too. She wouldn't hurt herself badly. She had stopped cutting when she was locked in this place. Since she didn't have anything to cut with. She would also lose her only chance out of there if he lost his job because she would have fooled around with dangerous object. She nodded. He shook his head lightly.

"No time limit. Just make sure I can always know what you're doing. I don't want to be forced to come in to check on you. Like I said, you have my trust. I think you're a smart girl. You know the risks there is when you play with the fire." He sat down on the ground, close to the bathroom, and pulled out a notepad and a pen. He was gonna take some notes while she was showering. "Don't get burned," he added, looking up at her.

"Alright. Just wanted to make sure. I always have a time limit with the other nurses. Didn't know if you were any different. I am a smart girl and I know the risks that there are when you play with fire."

Rose walked into the bathroom and left the door a bit cracked. She set the outfit on the counter before she undressed and put her dirty outfit outside the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror briefly. Terrified by the way she looked – all skin and bones and dirt – she quickly looked away and started the water.

Maxence let her get into the bathroom and checked that the door was a bit open for him to hear what was happening in the room without the obligation of being in there with Rose. He heard her when she started undressing herself and forced himself not to think about how thin she must be under that dirty outfit of hers. He had studied her face a lot. Her brownish hair-because she was so dirty and from the small amount of hair dye remaining-, her brown eyes, her plump lips. No doubt that the girl was beautiful, and it would be even more noticeable after the shower.

For a moment, he thought that she would look even better with blonde hair. He didn't know why. He just had that certitude. He pushed the thought away quickly. It was inappropriate and very unprofessional of him. Rose Tyler was his patient and the only thing he would do with her would be talk so she could get out of there and have a better life. Plus, he had a girlfriend. He couldn't allow himself to think about other girls. Especially when that other girl was his patient.

Maxence started writing down notes on his notepad. He was focused on both his work and the bathroom. He would hear it if anything was wrong, or if she was fooling him around. He hoped she wouldn't. He really wanted to help her but wouldn't be able to if she made him lose his job or kill herself because he had been reckless. But that wouldn't have been respectful of him to be in that bathroom with her. As a human being, she needed her privacy. So, he just wrote down everything about their meeting while she was showering. He shouldn't have stayed that long with her but he needed to be sure the change of room would be done before he could leave the hospital.

Rose got under the water when it was warm enough and sighed. She carefully got her fragile body wet and looked at herself while she could. She was pretty thin. Disgustingly thin actually. She had lost a lot of weight over the time that she had been here. It was caused by all the bad treatments and undernutrition. If her mother saw her like that, she would have a heart attack for sure. She used to be so healthy, with curves. That was before she was locked down in there.

Rose had been a beautiful girl before. She used to have blonde hair because she was dying then, but she couldn't do it anymore so they had gone back to their natural colour: brown. She didn't like it at all to be honest. She wanted her hair blonde again and that would be something she would be one of the first things she would get done when she would get out of here. She missed her blonde hair a lot. She had gotten her brown eyes from her father but she had no idea where she had gotten the plump lips or from though. Her mother had nothing remarkable on the physical plan and she was a blondie. The mysteries of the genetics.

For some reason, Rose was thinking about Maxence, about what he looked like under his clothes. She had seen what was under the clothes of the Doctor, of her Doctor, once or twice – he wasn't the type of man who liked showing his body around. He had been so insecure about the way he looked, but he was a handsome man, and always would be in her eyes. Since Maxence looked exactly the same, in the facial area at least, she assumed that maybe he was the same. But she shook the thought away. Anyway, no one would ever want to be with someone like her. Someone who was dangerous and disgusting like herself.

Rose just missed her Doctor a lot. She remembered their first time together. She had lost her virginity with him. She remembered how gentle he had been with her. What would he think of her if he saw her now? Would he still want her? The question was stupid, really. He wouldn't have let anyone throw her in that hell in the first place. He would have fought everyone to keep her safe. He would just have stood up for her and taken her as far as he could.

That was what she liked to think though. Nothing had ever happened between her and the Doctor. She had fallen in love with him, that was true, and she was almost sure that he was in love with her. Well, the Doctor she had first met was in love with her. The new Doctor hated her. She had just imagined that lie one day to hide the real truth behind her first time. Something she never liked to think or talk about. Something no one but her mother and best friend knew about.

Rose pushed the thought aside and washed her hair. She scrubbed well at her scalp and made sure she didn't miss an inch of hair. She wouldn't fool around or cause trouble. She wanted to be able to have a long and comfortable shower and Maxence was giving her the chance to. She couldn't ruin that chance by doing anything wrong. She rinsed her hair when she was done washing it and shaved her armpits and legs slowly. She was quite hairy and it was quite gross. She was glad Maxence was staying to make sure everything went well. Nothing would have gone well if he hadn't stayed. He was a good guy and she wanted to know more about him. She bit her lip lightly.

"Are you an only child? Or do you have other siblings?" she asked him, breaking the silence.

Maxence stopped writing when he heard her question. He hadn't expected her to talk to him at all while she was taking her shower. He raised his head lightly and looked at the door. He was supposed to be the one asking questions, not the one answering them. But there wouldn't be any harm done if he answered that one. Plus, answering her questions would help her trust him more. Therapy could work better if it worked on the two ways.

"I am an only child, technically speaking. But I do have a brother. My mom adopted him when I was five."

That didn't make any difference to him that his brother had been an adopted child. He loved him just as much as if they were blood-related. They had a strong bound and neither of them could really live without the other. Of course, his brother wasn't living with him and his girlfriend but they saw each other as often as they could.

"Before him, it was just me and my mom. We are a happy family. That's all that matters to me."

Rose finished shaving as he gave her an answer to her question. She hadn't exactly been expecting an answer since he was supposed to be the one asking the questions, but he did it anyway. She liked it. She liked the fact that he wasn't refusing. She liked the fact that he was talking to her like a normal being. After being considered as a beast for so long, it felt good to finally have someone to talk to, to have someone treating her the right way. Though it was tempting sometimes to act like a beast like everyone called her out to be.

Rose started washing her body as carefully as she could. She was taking her time to wash herself very well and get rid of any marks of dirt, of anything that could remind her of that awful cell. She didn't want to keep anything that would remind her of the cell. They could even burn the outfit. She would never wear it ever again. Unfortunately, she couldn't get rid of the memories as easily as she could with the dirt and clothes. She smiled small at Maxence's answer.

"I'm glad you're a happy family. It's just my mum and I. No one else. That's how it has always been. But I guess that it's just my mum now."

Rose hoped that her best friend, Clara, was checking on her mum regularly though. It had been hard on Jackie to send her only daughter in a place like that, to be alone again and not being able to see her little girl. Or maybe not. After all, she had never come there. Maybe it had just been a way to get rid of the woman she had become. A stranger to her own mother. It hurt to think like that.

Rose hoped Maxence didn't mind her asking whatever personal questions she did have. He wasn't forced to answer them of course. He wasn't even forced to give her personal information about him, but he was doing it anyway. She decided keeping her own questions at a minimum though.

"I actually wouldn't be surprised if she had come to see you but couldn't get in because they would have told her you were 'bad'."

Maxence drew inverted comas in the air though Rose couldn't see it. It still was unbelievable for him to treat a human being the way they had treated Rose and he wouldn't have been surprised if that hospital had prevented her mother from seeing Rose at all. He was gonna promise her to bring her back to her mother, but bit his tongue instead. He couldn't promise it. Not to the first appointment.

"I wouldn't be surprised either. I haven't seen anyone from the outside since I've been here. Only the therapists. And the same nurses every day since the first day."

Rose sighed softly. She too had found it hard to believe that they could treat a human so badly. Until she was sent there. She wouldn't be surprised either if they had prevented her mother from seeing her. She missed her, but Maxence shouldn't be saying so many promises to her unless he could keep them. So, she was glad he hadn't made that one.

Rose swallowed quietly and glanced at the razor again. She was having a strong want to break it and cut herself. She got out of the shower briefly and tossed it outside of the bathroom, making sure she didn't throw it on Maxence. She didn't want to do anything bad with the razor, and since she had felt the urge to do something bad with it, she had tossed it out before doing anything. She stepped back in the shower and sighed at the warmth.

"If you don't mind answering this question: you got a special someone in your life? You seem like a family man."

Maxence got surprised at the razor suddenly landing next to him. He picked it up and made it disappear into his bag. He was still writing while listening to her speaking to him and making sure the shower was going well. He was glad – and relieved – that she had given him the razor back once she was done with it. He felt sad that she hadn't been able to see anyone from the outside, that the heartless therapists she had seen never tried to help her. The visit of family and/or friends was a good way to help the patients feel better while they were here. It was a good way to keep the contact and support the patient through his therapy.

Rose's next question surprised him even more than the return of the razor. That was quite inappropriate, but, once again, he had no reason not to answer it. He had nothing to hide to anyone. He scratched the back of his head.

"Well, I'm not really into domestics actually. I used to live alone and I travelled a lot before I chose to settle down. I don't have kids though. I don't know if I want any yet. We didn't talk about it with Donna, my girlfriend."

Rose felt sad too. She hadn't seen any of her few friends or her mother since she had been thrown in there. The only people she had seen were the heartless nurses and the therapists who never helped her. She didn't feel better while being here. She felt worse and she felt scared and alone.

Rose knew it was a quite inappropriate question but she couldn't help but ask it. She was curious about the man who looked so much like her Doctor. She was curious to see if there was anything in him that would remind her of the Doctor, except for his face. She almost smiled at the domestics. So much like the Doctor. But he had a girlfriend. Stupid her. How could she have hoped that he would be single? How could she have hoped that he would find any interest in her?

"That's nice. I'm sorry I asked though. I realized that's quite inappropriate for me to ask you that. You're the one supposed to be asking questions."

Rose only wanted to know more about him. She didn't want to be telling her whole life to a total stranger. She wanted to learn a bit more about him. So, yeah, her questions were a bit specific. Which was kind of odd she assumed. Maybe she had a growing crush on him because of his uncanny resemblance with the Doctor she loved? It would never work though. He was already in love. Already taken.

Rose finished up in the shower. She shut the water and got out. She dried herself off and got dressed in her clean hospital outfit. She glanced in the mirror and a small smile crossed her lips. Her blonde hair was back. But how? Had the dye finally come out? Thank god! She bit her lip and stayed quiet about it as she towel-dried her hair. How would she explain that? Would they punish her for that? It wasn't her fault. It just _happened_ , and she liked it a lot.

"You seem to be really curious about my life." Maxence chuckled lightly. "It's boring really. Yours look much more interesting."

Maxence wasn't saying so because he had to make her talk to him – and, at least, there was some trust between them, even if it was just a little – but because he meant it. He wanted it to know more about that Doctor and about the Bad Wolf. He was curious of how all those things had led her into that psychiatric unit. He really wanted to help her. Not like all those therapists before him.

Rose finished drying her hair and brushed it out. She sighed quietly. She hadn't taken care of herself that way in a very long time and she was enjoying it. It felt really good. She looked more human again. She felt better in her skin now that she was clean. Her mind was still a mess, and she didn't look well, but she felt better now that she had had a real shower, a bit of privacy and someone talking to her like she was a normal person.

"Well, yeah. You're the first one whose stayed with me for longer than ten minutes. My life isn't interesting at all anymore. It used to be. But not now."

"You didn't give me any reason to run away either. It's easier to impress me than to impress all the therapists you've seen before. They were much more experienced than I am." He was easily impressionable, but he was also very curious about that girl. "What you lived is interesting enough to be told to someone, you know."

"No. I didn't. That's only because Bad Wolf feels calm around you. Which is weird. I haven't felt like this in a while to say the least. It's nice. The other therapists might be more experienced, but they never did anything for me. You are the only who's tried to change the awful situation I was in." She assumed Maxence was pretty curious about her. Since she had an interesting record and all. "But no one believes me. So, it must not be interesting enough. Everyone thinks I'm more insane than what they label me."

That was something he didn't understand. There probably was a reason why the Bad Wolf was so calm with him when it had lashed out on the other therapists. Maybe it was sensitive. Maybe it could feel the things, feel the people and their intentions. Maybe it had felt that Maxence just wanted to help Rose, that he wasn't the bad guy of the story. That was a point he had to clear. But not today. He had to take things slow even if he really wanted to know, to understand the mystery.

Rose didn't understand it either. She didn't understand how or why Bad Wolf was calm with him but not with the other therapists. Maybe Bad Wolf was sensitive. It definitely could sense people's intentions and emotions. Maybe it was calm because Maxence looked so much like the Doctor. Rose didn't know, but she could see that he did want to help. However, she was reluctant to give him her trust. She wanted to take things slow. She would tell him what he wanted to know. She was sure that he was curious, but he would have to wait some time before she really open up to him.

"I do. I believe you."

Rose ran a hand through her hair, loving how clean it felt. At least, there was a little trust between her and Maxence. He had earned a little bit of it thanks to his actions, to the way he was. She wouldn't have given him a bit of trust just because he was a Doctor lookalike. She had given it to him because she was thinking that he was worth it. Not like everyone she had seen so far. She knew she would have to tell him more about the Doctor and the Bad Wolf as time went on, but for now, she didn't feel ready, and he wasn't asking her questions or forcing her to talk about it. He was taking his time, giving her the time she needed.

Rose came out of the bathroom when she was done. She put the towel she had used with the dirty outfit. The nurses would have to take it later in the day to bring it to the launderette. If they felt like it. Maybe they would just leave it there for the room to become as unhealthy as the cell had been. Or Maxence would force them to do it, like he had done for everything until now. She looked down at him.

"I'm done," she said softly.

Maxence looked up at her when she came out of the bathroom and raised a surprised eyebrow at her hair. A sudden image of a blonde Rose, smiling with her tongue poking out of her mouth came to him. Where had it come from? He didn't know Rose Tyler. It was the first time they ever met so why was he thinking about it? Why was he imagining her with such a beautiful smile? Plus, he had a girlfriend already. He couldn't think about another girl, certainly not when that girl was his patient. But she seemed to wake something up in him and he didn't know what. Her questions were strange and specific. What did it possibly mean?

"That's a nice change," he finally said, once he was in control of himself again.

His mind was troubled with all that image of a smiling Rose, of a healthy Rose, and he had absolutely no idea from where that thought could have come. Maybe he had seen a picture of her on the newspaper or in the streets. He couldn't imagine something that seemed so real about someone he didn't know before he came there. He felt incredibly stupid right now, looking at her with big eyes, and the mouth half open. He had to pull himself back together before she started asking more questions, before she noticed the strange effect she had on him…


	3. Humanity

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 3/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Years of bad treatments had caused her to look like shit, to feel like shit, but there was something in Maxence's eyes. Something that made her feel better. It seemed like he wasn't seeing the girl she was now, but the girl she used to be before the Doctor threw her out of the TARDIS."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.**

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CHAPTER 3: HUMANITY

Rose looked at Maxence and bit her lip lightly. She could see that he was kinda troubled with her sudden change. He looked like he had seen a ghost. Which surprised her because they never met before today. She would remember if she had met a human double of the Doctor. He was so convinced that he was unique, that there couldn't be any double of him. If only he knew that there really was a double of him, an exact twin, he wouldn't be so haughty anymore. Well Maxence was the exact twin of the former incarnation of the Doctor, but who knew? Maybe there was a twin of the new Doctor. Rose would hate to meet someone who looked like the man who'd broken her. So would the Wolf.

"Thanks, I agree," she replied with a small smile.

Rose felt more beautiful with blonde hair. She was a naturally blonde girl but she tried different hair colours when she was a teenager – tastes tended to be weirder and more eclectic when you were dating a rock star who was influencing your life more in the wrong way than in the right – but she was always coming back to blonde. Her hair had turned brown since she was in there. Probably because of all the dirt she had to live in for months when she was down in that cell and couldn't have access to a real shower. Until now.

Rose felt a little more beautiful in that situation. She had been able to see how ugly she looked because of how thin she was thanks to the mirror. Years of bad treatments had caused her to look like shit, to feel like shit, but there was something in Maxence's eyes. Something that made her feel better. It seemed like he wasn't seeing the girl she was now, but the girl she used to be before the Doctor threw her out of the TARDIS. She didn't know where those images in his mind were coming from. He barely knew her. How would he know her special grin? Why was he thinking all of those things about her when he already had a girlfriend?

"I think the shampoo changed my hair back to blonde, but I'm not complaining or anything. I've missed my blonde hair."

Maxence stuck his pen in his notepad and closed it. He put everything back in his bag and got up. He stretched and some of his bones popped. Every move he did was slow and quiet. He was making sure not to scare Rose with quick moves, and it was better for his whole body not to go too fast. He was completely wrecked inside.

"Oh, it happened to me once, but that was a joke from my brother. I ended up with pink hair. I had to put a beanie on my head until the colour faded away. Pink isn't a colour that suits me very well. I was furious."

Maxence didn't know why he was telling her that. Maybe it was to reassure her that it was okay, that he wasn't accusing her of anything like she seemed to think. He wasn't blaming her though. After what he had seen earlier with the nurse yelling at her for being sick, he assumed it had happened so many times that she poor girl felt like she had to apologise for everything, or expected to be punished. But he wasn't gonna do that. She didn't deserve any of that.

Maxence swallowed. With her blonde hair, she really looked familiar to him and that was disturbing him. However, that was impossible. He couldn't have known her before. He had been with Donna for years now, and Rose was too young to have been to school with him. He shook his head lightly.

Rose wasn't expecting reassurance from him but was glad to have it. She loved her blonde hair and was happy to have it back, but she still was glad that he wasn't accusing her of anything. So she kinda did need a little reassurance in the end, and again was glad he'd given that to her. A reassurance that she wasn't gonna get punished or worse.

"Pink hair? That sounds hilarious and I'm sure it looked really funny. I don't think pink hair suits anyone."

"Actually, I was really mad at him. I had an important test to take that day. I couldn't be taken seriously with pink hair." Maxence shrugged. "My mum helped me to hide the disaster long enough for me to take my test. And my brother was punished."

They were already adults when it had happened but Joanne had punished Tenny. Like a kid. Tenny hadn't been very happy about it, saying it had just been a joke, but Joanne never wanted to hear anything. He couldn't go anywhere except to his job. The rest of time he had to be home to help their mother with chores. Now they were laughing about it but then, Maxence hadn't found it funny at all.

"You said you were furious with him. I would've been too. Thankfully you got to take your test though. At least your mum helped you hide your hair."

Rose imagined that his brother had been punished for his actions. Especially since Maxence had important tests to take. That would've sucked, being punished while being an adult. Being punished like a child when you weren't one anymore sucked. She wondered what his punishment had been. How could you punished a grown man?

"So how it feels, taking a shower?"

Maxence smiled softly. Rose looked better than earlier now that she was clean, but the clean white outfit made her even paler, even thinner. It was worrying. She needed a healthy diet and probably a doctor. Maxence didn't want to take any risks. He wanted to make sure she was okay. With the living conditions she had had just an hour ago, it was surprising to see that she was doing so well.

"It feels great. Especially when I don't have a time limit."

Rose smiled a little more back at him. She felt a bit better, and was glad to look better, but she knew the white outfit made her even paler and thinner than a young woman like her should be. She was pretty self-conscious about it, but as much as she hated it, she couldn't change it. It would take time, and good treatments from doctors like Maxence, from doctors she would have to trust. She needed it, and a healthy diet. But she was doing so well thanks to the wolf looking out for her even though it did hate her.

"Good. Now I just have to make sure they will give you a decent and healthy meal and our appointment will be over."

"Alright. Sounds good. 'cause I'm hungry. Hopefully, I won't get sick again."

Rose's stomach had already been growling at her since they had gotten into the new room and it growled loudly again at the mention of food. A faint blush crossed her cheeks for a brief moment as she looked down at her stomach. She felt embarrassed that her stomach was protesting so loudly about the lack of good food. A small smile crossed Maxence's lips.

"Don't be embarrassed. It's normal to be hungry. You should hear my stomach when I'm hungry. Worse than yours."

"My stomach used to be really loud whenever I was hungry. But not now. It's used to not being fed."

Maxence chuckled lightly. He was starting to be hungry too and he had given her his snack, but she had needed it more than him so that wasn't a big deal. He would buy something on the road or wait until he came back home. Donna had probably cooked something for him. She knew he was a real glutton and would assume that his first day at work would have left him very hungry. He smiled a bit at the thought.

"Your stomach isn't used to have food in it. Just eat slowly and take the time to chew properly. You'll see, you'll keep everything down."

Rose chuckled lightly with him. Earlier, she had been scared that he was gonna take the food from her, like someone teasing an animal. So, she had eaten it so quick he wouldn't have time to take it back. She wished she could just go home like him and have her mum make her something good to eat, but that probably would never happen. Maybe it would happen but not in the days to come.

"Nope. It's not used to have food in it. I'll try that method. I haven't done that in a while. Whatever food I get, I eat like an animal so they can't take it back."

This was something his mom had always told him. When he was younger, he used to eat more than his stomach could contain because he always had the feeling of hunger. His mother had taught him how to eat slower and to take his time to chew his food. That way, he would be less hungry and wouldn't be sick because he as eating too much in a short time. He had taken some slaps behind the head so he would keep that lesson in mind.

Rose hadn't had to be told to eat slower when she was a child. It was hard to make ends meet sometimes and she had always been thankful for what she got. Nevertheless, she didn't normally eat like an animal. She ate until she was full and nothing more. But now, she was different. She just ate and ate and didn't know when to stop because she barely got food, and when she did, she didn't know when she would get another meal so she ate until her stomach couldn't accept anything anymore.

"Well, I'll make sure it will get used to food again. I'll make sure they will give you your meals every day."

That was a promise he was doing. He knew he could keep that one. He would know if they didn't respect his decisions. He would make it clear that Rose had to stay in that room, that they had to give her all her meals and that they would have to call him if she asked them to call him because she needed to talk or anything. He would never punish her in any way. He would never take away her food or anything. It wasn't how people should be treated.

"But you can't keep it down either. They're gonna lose that habit. I will stay with you for that first meal, and I trust you to tell me if they treat you bad again next time we'll see each other."

"I hope it will. It's not used to have food. Nor am I on a good eating schedule. Hopefully I get meals every day."

Hopefully he could keep that promise. Hopefully they nurses wouldn't disrespect his decision or anything like that. She wanted to stay in that room, to be given meals and have the chance to call him if she needed to. She wanted to be treated like a human.

Maxence scratched the back of his head. He was afraid that they would throw Rose back into the disgusting cell and forbid her from having a real and healthy meal soon as he would be gone. He had to make sure they wouldn't do it. He would threaten them once again if needed. Rose Tyler was a human being and she needed to be treated as a human being.

Rose was afraid that they would throw her back into the disgusting cell and leave her there to starve too. Hopefully they would take Maxence's threat seriously. No one else had done anything that Maxence had so far. They all said she deserved it, but he didn't think so. It was a nice change.

"I have some knowledge into basic medicine. If you can't see another doctor for the moment, I'll be able to take care of you if you're not feeling any better."

Plus, Tenny, his brother, was a real doctor and could help him on that point. But for now, Maxence was the only one allowed to see Rose, the only one she trusted, even if it was just a little. No need to throw her into a rush or something. Step by step, they would manage to work together and to get Rose back on her feet.

"I doubt I can see another doctor. Probably just you. I'm sure other doctors would run as soon as they heard my name."

"When you say you can't, is it because you thought they wouldn't call a doctor if you need it or because you can't trust any doctor?"

Maxence was afraid that she would dig her heels in and refuse to answer his question. He had been a bit quick and brutal on that one. Rose Tyler. The name was lovely and wouldn't make him run in any way. Why would a doctor run away at the mention of her name? She wasn't a monster. She was just a girl in pain, trying to get better.

"… Both. I know they couldn't call me a doctor. And I don't trust any doctor. I probably never will. I don't trust anyone here. At all. Just you," she answered softly, grinding her heels lightly against the floor.

Rose was a bit reluctant to answer, but Maxence had stayed with her longer than their appointment time, which was supposed to last an hour. So, she assumed she could trust him a little bit. She loved her name too. At first, she hadn't exactly liked it, but now she did. Even if people ran away at the mention of her name now. They never used to because she used to be a gentle girl. That didn't mean she was a monster now. She was just a girl. Scared and in pain, trying to get better.

Maxence was the only one allowed around her. He was the only one she trusted. Even thought it was just a little. He had some work to do to earn her trust, but he had done the good things until now. He didn't seem to be about to run away and not come back. A question was burning her lips though. She had to ask it.

Maxence was surprised that Rose answered his question. Their first meeting was going well so far. She had done a huge step already and he had gotten her a better room. At least, she was trusting him, even a little, to take care of her. He would not ruin that trust.

Rose wanted to answer his questions but she was hesitant about it. She was sure he was surprised that she had answered, but she was forcing herself greatly to trust him. He was her last chance. She wanted to get out of here. She didn't trust him too much, but it was enough. She wouldn't answer every question. If she did, it wouldn't be right away. He better not ruin that trust. Otherwise he wouldn't get it back.

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know it yet. Could be tomorrow or next week. I don't have the schedule of our meetings together yet."

"Okay. Just wondering."

"I guess we'll both know it soon. They thought I wouldn't last the first ten minutes."

And yet, Maxence had spent almost two hours or so with Rose. He had seen the nurses bet on how long he would stay in there with her but it was better not to tell her. Plus, he had proved them all wrong. So, technically, he was winning all the bets and the money was for him. Rose shrugged.

"… No one does. So, I don't blame them for thinking that. I'm sure they made bets on you too… Just like they did with all the other therapists."

Rose knew he was winning their bets. But she was getting a small urge to start trouble, a small want for the strong medication they always gave her. Rose was trying to ignore it and talking with Doctor Spitz was helping her. The wolf was surprisingly calm too. And very quiet.

"… I'll tell you how they treat me next time we see each other. Thanks for staying with me for my first meal."

"This is part of my job, making sure you're treated well before I leave."

His job was actually just to talk with her and to make her say everything that was wrong in her life. It wasn't to stay with her more than one hour and supervise things that were supposed to be done by nurses. But what kind of humans would he be if he had abandoned Rose down in that cell? That was something he couldn't do. He didn't ask any more question or say a thing about the bets. He would pick up the money they had bet on his back and put it on a safety box. They wanted to bet on his back, they would be disappointing. He wasn't the type of guy to give up. He didn't refuse any challenge.

"Yeah. I figured so. None of the other therapists did their job very well then."

Rose knew what their job was. Their job was to make her spit out her whole life so they knew everything about her, but she knew nothing about them. They were supposed to help her with all the bad things in her life, but they never did until now. She doubted therapists now, but Maxence was proving that stereotype about therapists to be wrong. No human could leave someone in that cell. Only the people who worked there could do that because they weren't human. They were evil. Pure evil.

"Breathe deeply. It will help," he told her quietly, when he noticed the subtle change in her behaviour.

Maxence heard the door of the room being unlocked. Rose took deep breaths quietly and moved as far from the door as she could when she heard it unlock. Maxence turned to face it and looked at the nurse who was carrying a tray of food. He took it and inspected it to be sure they hadn't had the idea of trying to trick him. The food looked and smelt good. There wasn't any risk from what he could see. He put the tray down on the bed.

"See? It's not hard to treat someone like a human being."

"She's no human, doctor Spitz. You haven't seen the Wolf howling in her soul. You haven't seen her in her true form."

"Maybe because the Wolf has no reason to come and say hi when I'm here."

"She's a beast."

"She's a human being and she deserves to be treated that way."

The nurse was gonna add something to argue with him but she was distracted by a detail that caught her eye. She had noticed Rose's blonde hair. Her face was immediately twisted with rage, which caused Rose to flinch and step back as far as she could from the nurse, her back nearly touching the wall. But the wolf showed up briefly and let out a quiet growl through the girl's lips.

"What have you done?" she asked angrily at Rose before turning to Maxence. "This is you, isn't it? You're playing around because you're a newbie and all but you'll see. Soon, she's gonna bite you and then, don't come and complain."

"Thanks for your compassion," answered Maxence bitterly.

Rose listened to them silently, her gaze dropping to the floor. Of course she wasn't a human in their eyes. She was just some animal. Not an innocent girl who was just scared and wanted some help. The nurses didn't care about her at all. They just treated her like trash. She flinched a little at the anger in the nurse's voice and continued with her silence.

The nurse held back the slap she wanted to give Maxence. The man was making her furious. They had all thought he wouldn't last ten minutes in there, but he was stronger than he seemed to be. She didn't like his confidence, and his good manners. And she hated the fact he was coming to Rose Tyler's defence when he barely knew her.

"I'll be back in thirty minutes. Then, you'll have to leave, doctor. You've already spent too much time here."

The nurse left on those words and slammed the door. Rose flinched and looked at the food on the bed. She was reluctant to touch it, even if Maxence had checked it. Maybe they were poisoning her food. She slowly walked over to the bed and sat down, her gaze still to the ground. She looked at the food and started eating very slowly in silence, her lower lip quivering lightly. They just beat her down in here. They didn't help. No one did. Just Maxence had. She didn't want him to leave, but knew he had to.

Maxence closed his eyes and sighed deeply when the nurse slammed the door. He hated this place, and he had only spent two hours of his life there. Rose had spent five years in that building. He wondered how she was when she had first arrived there, how they had managed to make her look more like an animal than like a human, how they had ended up treating her more like an animal than like a human. He realised he was quite tensed when he heard his breathing being loud, when he felt his fists and jaw being clenched. Right now, he wanted to yell insults at that damn nurse who didn't understand a thing, who treated people like shit. If he had been a violent guy, he would have hit a wall or something. He wouldn't hit anyone. Never. But when he was in that state of mind, he was afraid of himself, of what he could do.

"Stupid woman!" he muttered.

Maxence unclenched his fists and breathed deeply. He had to control himself, and not to show his anger and frustration. The familiar whistling in his ears was a sign that his blood was rushing in his veins. Something that only happened when he was furious. He opened his eyes and looked down at his hands. There was something else. A feeling of pins and needles in his right hand. Something he knew too well now.

Rose closed her eyes and ate very slowly. She was fighting the urge to cry and stay calm. She hated that place more than Maxence did, and she had been there for years when it was only hours for him. She had been scared when she first arrived here. Just like she was now. Bad Wolf had been really bad too and it still was sometimes. Rose was also sad when she first came here. She had begged and begged her mother not to bring her here. That she would find different ways to calm herself down and keep the wolf in control, but her mother brought her here anyway. Something Rose didn't know if she would ever forgive her for doing.

The staff kept giving her high doses of drugs every day and they kept her in small cell. They didn't let her shower and treated her like an animal. That was how she looked like an animal. She had been pretty hairy too. Which was disgusting. They had ended up treating her more like an animal when Bad Wolf had started coming out more and more.

Rose scooted further away from Maxence, bringing her food with her. She sat in the very corner of the bed, just looking at her food and nowhere else and keeping herself small. Something she had done since the first day she had arrived. She wanted to kill the nurse. She wanted to bash the tray into her head until she stopped moving. She pushed the tray away. She hadn't eaten much of her food. Rose nodded a little at his mutter, agreeing with him. She was afraid of herself too when she got angry, but she couldn't control it as easily as Maxence could. She took a couple deep breaths slowly and tried to push the insults out of her head as they echoed in her mind, tried to calm down Bad Wolf so it was more bearable.

Rose was also a bit nervous about Maxence. She could clearly sense his anger and it made her nervous. Other therapists had taken their anger out on her and she wasn't sure if he was the same on that point. She didn't like sensing anger. It made her nervous. It made her nervous of what angry people were capable of.

Maxence closed his eyes again and breathed deeply. He couldn't allow himself to be that angry in presence of a patient. He couldn't let her see or sense the rage boiling in his veins right now. He would scare her and that was something he didn't want.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to you. I can control it," he told her when he was finally in control of himself again.

Maxence would have to make a stop on the road to see his personal coach. He was doing some martial arts and it was helping him to keep himself calm. His coach had taught him all the things he needed for that control. There was a period of his life when he was angy all the time and couldn't control himself as well as he was doing now. That was Tenny and Donna who had registered him into that club, who had found that special coach before he hurt someone, or himself.

The trembling of his body slowly disappeared as he breathed slowly and deeply. Only his right hand was now trembling violently. The feeling of pins and needles was now replaced by a pain he knew too well. Soon he would have a new word on his skin. People always thought he was doing that to himself, but he truly wasn't. The words just appeared on his skin. It was painful, and uncontrollable. Once again, they would tell him that he shouldn't have done that. Once again, they would ask him what it meant. But he didn't know. The words just appeared and he had no idea of what they meant. When he saw the first drop of blood, he clenched his fist and dug it into the pocket of his jeans. He bit the inside of his cheek to control his reaction to the pain.

"How is the food?"

Maxence managed to keep his voice steady, despite the sudden pain. A pain that disappeared quickly. It disappeared as quickly as it came. The word probably was a short one, but he was afraid to look. He didn't look at Rose, but he knew she had gotten away from him as much as she could when she had sensed his anger. He didn't make any move to get closer to her. He didn't want to scare her.

Rose took deep breaths as well to keep herself calm from the overwhelming panic she felt. She ate a few more bites very slowly. Other therapists didn't care if they got angry in front of her. They had done it anyway without a care in the world. No one cared about Rose or her opinion. She just had had to roll with what was happening and not say a thing. Her opinion didn't matter and it wasn't acknowledged. That's how it had been since the first day she had arrived.

Rose kept her eyes on her food. She didn't have a personal coach and never had. She had learned some self-defence from the Doctor when she was travelling with him. She had learned a lot of things when she was with him. But in that place, she had had to teach herself things to calm herself down. She didn't have any help and hadn't had any in years. Whatever help she had needed, she had to give it to herself.

Rose could see and observe Maxence in her peripheral vision. She could see he was in pain and that he was furious from that nurse. She was curious about the words on his body and how they got there, but she dared not ask. It wasn't her business, and she wasn't the one who was allowed to ask questions. It was weird in a therapist's eyes. She watched Maxence put his fist in his pocket. Maybe another word forming? Maybe just doing it to calm his anger? She didn't know. She listened to his question but didn't answer right away. She shrugged a little.

"It's alright I guess," she replied quietly.

Maxence was right. She had gotten away as far as she could from him when she had sensed his anger. She brought her knees to her chest slowly and placed her chin on her knees. She closed her eyes. Maxence had already made her a bit nervous, but, at least, he wasn't scaring her.

Maxence only turned around to face her when all his anger was gone. He mentally cursed himself for scaring her when he noticed how small she was making herself for him not to lash out on her. Something he would never do. His anger had been caused by the nurse and he wouldn't lash out on anything else but a punching-ball. He would never lash out on someone, even less on a patient of his who was beyond terrified by people around her.

"Yeah, I guess it's not the best food in the world, but it's probably better than no food at all or rotten food."

Maxence kept his distance, not getting any closer of her. He also kept his fist into his pocket. He knew that a blood stain had probably formed itself on his jeans but didn't want to see the new word yet. He would have to find a good lie about it. He probably would say that it was a bad cut and would keep it under a bandage for a few days. And when they would see it wasn't just a cut, he didn't know what he would say, how he would react. His family had tried to make him see some therapists but he had always refused to. He loved the idea of being a therapist – and most likely became one not only to help people but to help himself too – but the idea of seeing one was terrifying. And after what he saw today, he knew it was better if he didn't see anyone.

Rose glanced at him briefly as he turned around to face her and ate a little more of the food. She always did that. She always had. She had made herself as small as she could so people wouldn't lash out at her, so they wouldn't get angry with her. However, she didn't know that Maxence wouldn't lash out on people. She didn't really know him that well at all, but he knew everything about her. That wasn't fair in her opinion. It wasn't something she liked either.

"Yeah. You're right there. It's not the best but it's alright. It's food. That's what matters I guess."

Rose really wanted a home cooked meal though. She forgot what real and fresh food tasted like. She dreamed about it sometimes. And yet, all she was getting was process and frozen food. Or rotten food. It was better than nothing, but it wasn't worth something her mother would have cooked. Oh, how she missed Jackie cooking now!

Maxence nodded. It wasn't the best food in the world, it wasn't tasty but it was at least healthy and that was all she needed right now. He would probably try and bring her some homemade meal next time they would see each other. His stomach growled at the mention of food but he ignored it. Now wasn't the time for him. He had to go back home first.

It indeed wasn't the best food and it wasn't tasty, but it was something. It was better than what she was given in the other room. It was something a little healthy and she did need that right now. She would be happy and thankful for the home cooked meal if he tried to bring her one. But she doubted they would let him bring it in. He would have to sneak it in really well.

Rose was relieved in a way that he wasn't coming closer. He was respecting her and her fear enough to keep his distance and not make her even more uncomfortable. She had always hated the fact of seeing a therapist. She had never really liked them. The idea of seeing a therapist was terrifying to her too and it always would be. But Maxence was her last resort. So she had to force herself to trust him and let him in her little circle. Her tiny circle. She held the tray a bit close to her, having plans with it for when that bloody nurse would come back in. Her gaze slowly averted over to Maxence. She studied him quietly, biting down on her lip.

The door of the room was unlocked and opened in Maxence's back, but he didn't move. That meant he had to leave. Even though he wanted to leave that place, he was afraid of leaving Rose here. Nevertheless, he would make sure they would treat her right until he came back. None of them had a choice there. He couldn't get her out of there now. Rose looked more dangerous for herself than for the others, but he hadn't seen the Wolf yet, so he didn't know what she was really capable of.

Rose curled up tighter in the corner as she heard the door open. She swallowed and her gaze shifted to the door. She picked at her fingers once again, picking harder than the last time. That meant Maxence had to leave. She didn't want him to. She was scared to be left alone again, but she couldn't do anything about it. He had to leave. He couldn't stay there with her. She hoped they would listen to him and treat her right until he came back. She wished he could get her out of there now. He indeed didn't know what she was capable of. He hadn't seen anything. She was dangerous for herself more than for the others.

"It's time, doctor Spitz. You've gotta go now."

Maxence nodded, without a look for the nurse. He was standing between her and Rose. He knew Rose had something in mind and wanted to see what she was gonna do now. He really hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid. She would hate on him soon, when he would forbid them from giving her any drug. She most likely wouldn't want to talk to him after that, but he didn't care. He was doing it for her health.

Rose swallowed quietly as the nurse spoke and looked at Maxence. Seeing that he wasn't going to move and that he knew she had an idea in mind, she decided to banish the plan for now and pushed the tray to the end of the bed wordlessly. She wouldn't do anything stupid with him around. She indeed would hate on him soon though. Especially when she wanted the drug. The want for it was already coming back and it was getting stronger. She was starting to crave it like a drug addict would. Like the drug addict she was. She would understand after a bit that it was for her health. She wouldn't want to talk to him though.

Maxence nodded, silently telling Rose that she had taken the right decision. He picked up the tray, making sure to always keep a certain distance not to make her uncomfortable. He walked back to the nurse and gave her the tray. His right hand was still dug into his pocket and the blood stain was obviously visible now according to the look the nurse gave him.

Rose just looked at him, only giving him a slight nod. She knew it was useless to try and do anything stupid with him around. He would probably punish her rather than the nurses doing it. In a softer but still unpleasant way.

"We gotta talk you and I before I leave," he said firmly to the nurse. "She didn't bite me or anything if that's what you think. I'm clumsy, that is all."

"And that's why you're keeping your hand in your pocket," retorted the nurse, raising an eyebrow at him.

She took the tray. She was suspicious. Maxence had proved today that he would always stand for Rose,that he would always be against them. She had no reason to trust him. He could be protecting Rose once again. Maxence pulled his hand out of his pocket. It was covered in blood.

Rose watched Maxence and the nurse, picking at her fingers. She hadn't even touched him the whole entire time he was here. She had kept a good distance from him and everything. She had no reason to bite him, but she could see the blood stain on his jeans pocket and that was worrying her.

"See? No bite mark at all."

Maxence didn't allow her to watch closely at his hand though. He didn't want her to see the word on his hand. She didn't want her to ask any question. It wasn't her business, and he didn't want her to accuse Rose of anything. She wasn't responsible for that. Only he was, in a way he didn't understand. The nurse just nodded, not fully believing him.

"It's time to go now. We'll give you your visits schedule when you'll get your stuff back."

"Everything's gonna be okay now," he murmured to Rose, almost silently for the nurse not to hear it.

Rose sighed a bit when the nurse said it was time for him to leave. She looked at him briefly when he spoke and nodded a little. She hoped things were gonna be okay. She wanted everything to be okay. She wanted to get out of here. She had barely heard him either, but she did and that was what mattered.

Maxence was gonna make sure of it before he left that place. He was gonna make sure they wouldn't send her back into that disgusting cell, that they were gonna treat her right from now on. That was part of his job and he would do it right. Even if he had to set everyone working there against him. Everyone before him had given up on Rose, but not him. He was gonna get her out of there. He left the room slowly and followed the nurse after she locked the door behind them, leaving Rose alone in her new surroundings, ignoring what was gonna happen to her now...


	4. Emergency

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 4/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : ****"That was gonna be a disaster. Nash Grieve hated when someone was contesting her authority and decisions. She was gonna furious and she would want to meet Maxence Spitz and test him for sure."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.**

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CHAPTER 4: EMERGENCY

Maxence and the nurse remained silent for a moment while they walked through the corridors and up to the ground floor where he would get his stuff back and leave the place. However, he wouldn't leave until things were clear between him and the staff. He needed to stop the bad treatments on Rose Tyler, whether they liked it or not. New therapist, new rules. That's how it was gonna work now.

"I want her to stay in that room and to be fed with good food at regular hours. No more punishments. No more throwing her into a cell because she's been bad. She's just a girl, and she's terrified," he told the nurse, a bit coldly. "She's gonna try and provoke you, but you won't give her any more drugs. That's what she wants. You turned her into a drug addict and she thinks it helps with the Wolf. She's gonna provoke you to have those drugs but you won't give her any. And you'll have to call me at any time if she asks for me. Is that clear?"

"You've only seen her once."

"And that was enough for me to realise all of that. Don't treat her like an animal, treat her like a human. That's all she's asking for."

The nurse had no other choice. He didn't give her any other choice. They had to accept his conditions and to tell them all to the head nurse. That was gonna be a disaster. Nash Grieve hated when someone was contesting her authority and decisions. She was gonna furious and she would want to meet Maxence Spitz and test him for sure. The nurse added the tray on a pile of dirty trays and brought Maxence back to the main nurses' desk on the ground floor. He got all his stuff back and was given his schedule. Then, he was thrown outside where a car was waiting for him. The message was clear. They wanted him away from there as soon as possible.

Maxence got in the car and sighed deeply. He rubbed his temples and turned on his phone. It was overwhelmed with messages from his mother, brother and girlfriend. He read them all and quickly replied. He gave his address to the driver. Next time, he would come with his own vehicle. It would be harder for them to throw him outside then. He picked a cigarette in his bag and placed it between his lips without asking if it was alright for him to smoke in the car. He lighted it up and took a puff. He sighed deeply once again and looked at the schedule they had given him. His hand was still trembling, but he still refused to look at the new word. He studied his schedule instead. Two to three visits a week. Good. He had another meeting with Rose Tyler in two days. Long enough for him to study his notes and find a way to reach Rose without scaring her. He took another puff of his cigarette and put the schedule in his bag.

The driver dropped him in front of his flat's building without a word. Maxence got home slowly. Donna wasn't there yet. He put his vest and bag on the coat rack in the hall, and put his keys on the kitchen table. He walked to the bathroom and washed his hands. He cleaned the new wound and looked at the word. It was a number actually. '5'. He had absolutely no idea of what it could mean but that new word would be harder to hide than the others because of its location. He wrapped a bandage around his hand and ended his cigarette. Donna didn't like him smoking and he was really trying to stop but after the day he had had, he needed one. Speaking of the devil, he heard the front door closing and his girlfriend walking in.

"Max?"

"Bathroom!"

Maxence turned on the water and rinsed his face quietly. He heard Donna walking to the bathroom to meet him there. She observed him. It had been his first day at work. She was proud of him for studying so hard, for having all his certificates, for landing a job so quickly. But he looked tired and rough tonight. Therapist wasn't an easy job. It was even worse when you were a newbie, Donna assumed.

"Tough day?"

"You have no idea."

"Tell me," she told him, coming close to him and wrapping her arms around him.

"Professional secret. Can't say a thing," Maxence replied.

He kissed her lips softly and wrapped his arms around her in return to pull her closer to him. His first meeting with Rose Tyler had shaken him to say the least but he couldn't talk about it. Not even with Donna. She kissed his chest and looked up at him.

"What happened to your hand?"

"A small cut," he lied. "I didn't notice it before it put blood everywhere. I've cleaned it and put the bandage around to stop the blood."

"You're so clumsy," she chuckled lightly, grabbing his wounded hand gently to kiss it softly.

"I already feel better," he said with a smile.

"Just wait a little then," she murmured, slowly unbuttoning his shirt before he caught her hands.

"Not tonight, sweetheart."

"I wasn't speaking about sex, love," she retorted, still unbuttoning his shirt. "But a shower would help you relax enough after that terrible day."

Donna was probably right and that was why he allowed her undress him, why he undressed her. They took that shower together and ordered some food they ate while watching a movie. They were cuddling each other on the couch. The best way to finish a day.

"When are you supposed to see your patient again?"

"In two days. If she doesn't call me before."

Maxence wouldn't be surprised if that happened with how bad the staff of that hospital seemed to be. He was expecting a call at any time to be honest. But what if they didn't listen to her? What if they said they would call him but didn't? He would be so mad at them if it happened.

"How is it working for you?"

"Complicated case. Can't say more."

"Must be something terrible to leave you so off."

"'M tired. I'm gonna sleep now." He kissed her head softy. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't."

Maxence got up and walked to his bedroom. He got rid of his T-shirt and pants and crawled into bed. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He didn't hear Donna joining him, didn't even hear her when she left in the morning to go to work.

* * *

Rose watched Maxence and the nurse leave slowly and pulled the blanket around her carefully. She tucked it around herself. She wanted the drugs that Maxence was now forbidding. She assumed that was what calmed down Bad Wolf whenever it was getting agitated or angry. Because that's what she'd been taught by the people here; that the drugs calmed down the Wolf. She assumed it helped the Time Entity not to cause too much trouble. She was helping the Wolf out the best she could, but the Wolf seemed like it didn't wanna talk to Rose much. They never had a real talk since they were stuck together. They hated each other obviously, but they never talked about the reason that had led them there.

Maybe the drugs were keeping the Wolf numb. Rose didn't know. She would try and get drugs even if Maxence had told the staff not to give any to her. They probably wouldn't listen to him. The only way they were calming her was the straightjacket or the drugs. The drugs had been used more and more over the months, so she would try and cause trouble to get what she wanted, because, typically, she got the drugs she wanted from causing trouble. It was hard to live there without the drugs when you were used to always be high, and off the reality.

Her hell was gonna get even worse once the withdrawal would have kicked in from not having the medicine she was used to. She would not be happy at all with Maxence to say the least. She would be surprised to know that he had learned and realized so much about her and the place in just one visit. Nevertheless, the nurse had no other choice but to listen to Maxence and not argue. Otherwise they would get in trouble. They didn't want him around for any longer than needed apparently, because he could bring them trouble. Lots of it. And the staff knew that troubles would cause the place to be shut down and all of them would be sent to jail.

Rose stared off in the corner, the blanket tightly around her. It was so quiet in the room. It was so quiet she could hear a lot of things. She could almost hear her own heartbeat. She swallowed quietly and closed her eyes as she felt the Wolf stirring up and beginning to cause trouble in her mind. It tapped on the golden barrier in Rose's mind and looked off into her thoughts. It smirked a bit and trotted around in the 'property' it had sat up. It was getting a bit cranky. It wanted the medication, and it knew Rose wanted it too.

The Wolf dug its claws into the ground beneath her, causing Rose to flinch and grip her head a bit. _'Not now. Please,'_ Rose whispered in her mind. She whimpered quietly. She wished she had a home to go to. She wished she had someone to go home to like Maxence, but she wasn't sure where home was for her outside of that hospital. Outside of that hell. She didn't know if her mother would let her live with her again. Probably not. But Rose didn't know and she couldn't assume.

Rose wondered for a moment what Maxence's life was like. She wondered what it was like to be able to be free and not trapped in a room, surrounded by nothing but white. She had forgotten what that felt like. She wondered what it was like to not be watched by people all the time like some science experiment. Rose would gladly take a cigarette now if she could. She would drink a whole bottle of alcohol in one drink if she could. She wondered how her mother was, how Clara was doing. Rose wondered so many things, but she had no answers. Thankfully, wondering about all of these different things was keeping the Wolf calm and busy. She wished she could be held by someone again. She desperately needed a hug, needed someone to tell her that it was really gonna be okay now, but she probably wouldn't let anyone touch her.

Rose's first meeting with Maxence had shaken her a little as well, but she had no one to talk to about it unlike Maxence. She wouldn't have told anyone about it anyway. She didn't wanna talk about it. She would just keep it to herself and she would try to keep quiet.

Rose very slowly got up from bed and went to the bathroom. She used the loo and washed her hands when she was done. She looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't really seen her reflection in a while so she hadn't realised how much she had changed over the years she had been here. She let her fingers brush along her jawline as she studied herself in the mirror. It hurt to see how far she had gone. How far she had let go. She blinked away the tears that came to her eyes and wiped them a bit. She walked back to her bed and laid down slowly, closing her eyes. She played with her hair gently, glad to have her blonde hair back.

After about an hour, she fell into a deep sleep, but it wasn't very restful. She woke up every hour with a start because nightmares, pain, and Bad Wolf were keeping her up throughout the night. By the time morning came, Rose was clawing furiously at her head and the rest of her body, leaving scratches on herself and making herself bleed. She was only putting herself in more pain. And to top it off, withdrawal from the drugs was starting to set in.

The staff had assigned a new nurse to take care of Rose and she was about to deliver Rose's breakfast. They hadn't wanted to go against Maxence's orders. Not yet. But no one wanted to be the nurse in charge of the 'monster'. So, they had picked a new nurse, someone who was just starting there. Olivia Baxter wasn't a new one in the job but she was new in that hospital and didn't understand why the girl was so feared. She grabbed the tray of food from the cafeteria and brought it to Rose's room. She was a bit anxious to meet the Wolf, the girl everyone was talking about but she had a job to do and she would do it no matter the rumours.

Rose hadn't known she had a new nurse until Olivia Baxter opened the door. She hoped the woman was nice, not like all the nurses she had had before. Most of them had been women. Very few were men, much to her relief. Every time a man had taken care of her, it had ended in a bad way. For her, more than for them. The new nurse would eventually understand why Rose was feared so much. Rose didn't want to scare the woman too much though.

Olivia knocked on Rose's door softly, announcing that it was breakfast time, and unlocked the door. She was shocked to see what Rose was doing to herself and immediately put the tray down to run to Rose. She took her hands in hers to prevent her from doing herself any more harm.

"What's wrong, miss? Tell me. Maybe I can help you."

There was something in Rose that was terrifying the nurse but she didn't move and kept Rose's hands in hers. Something wasn't right with her patient, and the Wolf they were all joking about was here and now. She could sense it and she didn't know what to do. It would have been wise to step back according to the rumours, but she didn't. She stayed to help.

Rose looked at the door as she heard a knock and curled up tightly under her blanket. She pulled her hands away from the woman because she assumed she was gonna hurt her or yell at her. She was so used to being hurt by the nurses that she didn't know what positive reinforcement was. She looked at the young woman with wide eyes. She was new.

"You're new," Rose murmured, terrified. "I-I'm-I'm not sure you'd understand what's wrong. I-It's-it's complicated." Rose swallowed hard as she gripped the sheets so she wouldn't harm herself any further. "I-I wanna see my therapist," she asked softly to her. It was hard to talk through the pain but Rose was forcing herself to do so.

Rose looked at her new nurse. She didn't want to scare the woman but was sure she had heard plenty about the Wolf before she was even sent in that room. Rose was shaking pretty badly, which didn't help her situation any, but she didn't want to hurt the nurse. The Wolf wanted to because it was craving the medication and so did Rose. For the Wolf, it was only a way to forget the surroundings and to have a small trip when for Rose, it was only a way to numb the physical and psychological pain. Rose was suffering worse than ever at the moment, and she needed it to stop. She didn't want to feel that pain.

Olivia loosened her grip on Rose's hands. She didn't mean to hurt her or to scare her. She just wanted her to stop hurting herself. She was just there to help and not to torment her. But by Rose's reactions, she understood that the nurses there weren't as nice as her. She didn't know how they were with the patients, but when she heard them talking in the rest room, she could tell most of them weren't good people. She didn't like the place or the staff but they needed her there so she couldn't leave.

"I've been here for around two weeks. They assigned me to you last night," she explained gently.

"Mm. I-I see. I'm-I'm sure there's plenty of rumours flying around about me."

All the nurses were saying Rose was bipolar because of her mood swings, because of all the anger or madness fits she had sometimes. Olivia slowly let go of Rose's hands, but she stayed close to intervene if Rose ever tried to hurt herself once again. Taking things slowly. That was what his former mentor had always told her. Always taking the things slowly with the most vulnerable patients. And Rose was a particularly vulnerable patient as she could see.

Rose could only begin to imagine the rumours going around about her. Bipolar. Killer. Insane. Crazy. She didn't know where to start with her assumption of rumours. She couldn't fully control the anger or madness she experienced. She curled up a bit tighter as the nurse let her go. At least, that nurse had had a good mentor. Someone who had taught her to take things slowly with vulnerable patients and not go in all at once.

Whatever Olivia had heard about the Wolf, she wouldn't judge Rose on those rumours. She had been pretty surprised by the way things were going on in that hospital, but she wasn't in position to say a thing about it. She would just work her way. If Rose didn't know the name, Olivia would just look into her record and find who her therapist was. She wouldn't hurt Rose. It wasn't how she was working. It wasn't how they were supposed to work either.

Rose kept her hands close to her, picking at her fingers roughly. The nurse hadn't hurt her. She had just scared her. Rose had never seen her before and didn't know what else her intentions were besides bringing her breakfast. At least, the woman actually wanted to have her stop hurting herself. Rather than drug her or hog tie her. It felt strange, but it felt also very good. It was a nice change for once.

Rose was relieved the woman wouldn't judge her on the rumours she had heard. She had never seen anyone in the years that she had been here not judging her. Everyone was judging her. She wasn't surprised now at how things were run here. This place should have been shut down years ago. Too bad the nurse couldn't say anything about it. Rose's gaze stayed on the nurse, studying her.

"The rumours are created by idiots and only idiots believe it without proof. I don't believe any of those rumours."

They just had tried to scare her last night when they had told her she was assigned to Rose Tyler. She had been absolutely horrified by the way they were talking about that patient, but it was nothing compared to the talk they had had about her therapist. Olivia hadn't stayed around. She hadn't wanted to hear more bullshits from those people with no respect.

"Mm. Well everyone believes them. They don't even give me a chance."

Rose didn't blame the nurse for being terrified when she had first heard about her, but she was a different person than what the rumours were saying. She was also different, in a way, when she was around Maxence Spitz. He could keep the Bad Wolf calm, and no one had been able to do so before. Not without medication. Rose still didn't know why. Maybe because he looked so much like the Doctor and sounded so much like him. Maybe seeing and hearing a double of him was soothing the Time Entity.

"You're not forced to talk to me, if you don't want to," she told Rose. Her tone was as gentle as before. "Do you know the name of your therapist? I can ask them to call him now."

"I-I don't normally talk to the staff. I've learned not to," Rose replied gently. "His name's Mr. Spitz. I don't have a first name."

Olivia nodded quietly. She did understand why Rose had to teach herself not to talk to the staff of the hospital.

"It's okay."

She picked up the tray and put it down on the bed so Rose could eat. She would take care of her injuries later, if Rose allowed her to. She grabbed her talkie-walkie and turned it on to talk to the nurse who was currently on the front desk.

Rose nodded a little and looked at the tray the nurse sat in front of her on the bed. She wasn't sure if she would let anyone treat her injuries. She had a lack of trust for everyone who was working here. Except this nurse. She barely trusted the nurse, but she had the feeling that she was different from all the others working there.

"I need someone to call the doctor Spitz."

 _"_ _What for?"_ answered a grumpy voice.

"His patient is asking for him. Just call him and tell him to come over."

 _"_ _Who's his patient already?"_

"Rose Tyler. Room 421."

 _"_ _Oh. The psycho."_ Olivia gave a sorry look to Rose for the insult and waited a few minutes before an answer came. _"He's on his way. Hope she has a good reason. I had to wake him up."_

Rose just glanced at the walkie talkie with a hurt look on her face at the name. Must be her nickname in that hospital. She observed the nurse and very slowly sat up on the bed. She bit down on her lip hard. She hadn't wanted to wake Maxence up. Now she felt bad. She sighed quietly. She didn't really have an appetite, and she was still shaking. So, she doubted she would be able to hold anything right. Her stomach seemed upset too. She probably wouldn't keep anything down. But it was worth a try anyway.

* * *

Maxence was deeply asleep when his phone rang. He moaned and mumbled something about people calling early when he could have some sleep, but then, he remembered that he had told Rose to ask the nurses to call him if she needed him. He looked for his phone by feel and grabbed it. He picked it up and mumbled something to the caller who seemed to understand him since she gave her a quick – and so not nice – explanation about the reason of such a morning call. Just like he thought, Rose needed him.

As soon as the call ended, he got dressed. Black jeans, boots, green jumper. He grabbed his leather jacket and shoulder bag and rushed to his garage. He pulled on the leather jacket and his helmet and placed his bag in the small trunk of his motorcycle. He jumped on it and started driving through the streets. He only needed a few minutes to get to the hospital in town. They brought him to Rose soon as he presented himself to the front desk.

The nurse was still there in the room. She had stayed in the room to make sure Rose wouldn't hurt herself anymore and to supervise the breakfast, even if Rose hadn't touched the food yet. The patient was staying where she was, looking between the tray and the nurse. She was chewing her lip hard and slow and stayed quiet. She had taught herself not to talk to the staff because they always got mad if she did. They always would ignore her or hit her or something. Or they would make up an excuse to drug her just to get her to be quiet. So, Rose wasn't the same person she used to be. She was awfully quiet now. She only spoke when called upon.

Rose picked at her fingers lightly as the silence stayed between the nurse and herself. The nurse was nice, but Rose just didn't fully trust her. She couldn't, even with the good feeling she had. She barely knew her. She could just be trying to be nice to her to get her trust and screw her in the end. But this nurse really didn't seem like that.

Olivia got up when Maxence was introduced into the room – they hadn't even taken the time to knock on the door to announce themselves, the door had just been opened suddenly – she and held a hand out to him while the door was being closed behind him.

"Doctor Spitz, I guess."

Maxence shook her hand and nodded. She was guessing right.

"I came as fast as I could. What's going on?"

"I don't know. I found her harming herself and she asked for you. She didn't want to talk to me."

The nurse wasn't offended. She understood. At least, Rose seemed to have a therapist who was answering her calls quickly if she needed anything. Maxence walked to Rose but kept a distance between them, just like he had done the previous day. He dismissed the nurse and waited for the door to be locked before looking at Rose.

Rose looked at Maxence when he walked to her and swallowed quietly not to gasp at how much he looked like the Doctor she had known in this outfit. She was still sitting up and was playing with her hands. She was feeling guilty for waking him up and forcing him to come so early just because she didn't feel well. She didn't feel like she was worthy enough to have someone be woken up just to come see her.

"Sorry I woke you," she apologised.

Maxence shook his head lightly.

"It's okay. I told you you could call at any time if you needed me."

Rose's wounds obviously needed to be taken care of but, would she allow someone to do it? She wasn't sure if she would accept anyone's help to take care of her. She did need some cares for the self-harm she had done to herself, but her lack of trust was a problem and something that couldn't easily be avoided. They had to gain her trust first. Plus, the withdrawal was making Bad Wolf crankier than usual and was putting Rose in much more pain than usual – and it could play a trick on people to make them away just for fun. She scratched at her hands like she had been scratching at the rest of her body and head, her jaw tightening and loosening.

"Why?" Maxence simply asked.

Before Rose could even say a word, the Wolf took over her to face the therapist. The previous day, it had just preferred observing and seeing if that one was worth it. He looked like the Doctor and he hadn't run away. It was already two good points for him. He was also taking the good decisions for Rose, even if those decisions were really annoying to the Wolf right now.

"Why haven't they drugged me?" the Time Entity asked through Rose.

Rose's voice didn't change. They shared the same voice. The Wolf looked up at Maxence and studied him through Rose's eyes who were tinted with golden sparks now.

Maxence had left his helmet at the front desk but he was still wearing his leather jacket on him. He opened it lightly. The cell hadn't been heated but that room was and it was too hot for him to keep the jacket close. He looked at Rose, lightly raising an eyebrow.

Rose was studying him. Maxence looked sexy in that leather jacket. Just like her Doctor did when he was wearing his… Which was all the time. He was always wearing it. It was like a shell protecting him from every kind of danger, protecting him from other people's look, from their judgement. He was always _hiding_ behind his jacket in the end, and she found it really sad now that she realised it. The leather was just another way to keep people away from him, from the danger he thought he represented.

Rose pushed the thoughts of Maxence and the Doctor away and sighed quietly as she scratched at her hands, watching her therapist open the jacket lightly. Once again, the man looked so much like the Doctor. A jumper under his jacket. That was the Doctor's favourite outfit. He used to wear that outfit all the time. Why was the universe reminding her of those details? It was nice to be in a heated room for a change, but she would rather not have to face those memories of the Doctor. Why was Maxence Spitz looking so much like him?

"I asked them not to give you anything."

For now, he hadn't remarked that the Wolf had taken over Rose. He noticed the scratching though. Something that happened only when she was nervous and he could see all the tension in her jaw. He slowly walked to her and sat on the bed. He took her hands in his gently, not to scare her. He finally saw the small golden spark in her eyes. It wasn't there the previous day. Something had changed, and he was gonna find out what it was.

Rose's jaw tightened more at his words. Of course he would do such a thing. _'Mm'_ was her and the Wolf's answer. He wanted her to get off the drugs and to see that she could get better without it all. He wanted to help her the best he could and the second thing he did – after getting her a better room – was to forbid the drugs. He was doing the things rights. A bit too right for the Wolf and Rose's liking at the moment.

Rose flinched lightly when Maxence sat on the bed and took her hands, but she didn't move her trembling hands away from his. His warmth felt really nice for her who was so cold despite the heating. Plus, she had missed human touch so much. He had been the first to touch her and consider her like a human since she had been in that hospital. The nurse had been the second one. Maybe they were still good people left in the end.

Rose hadn't had much gentle or nice physical contact. It was always mean. The golden spark grew stronger for a moment, then went back to the small golden spark it had started out as Bad Wolf studied the therapist. What would be his next move? How was he gonna help Rose? Rose swallowed hard. She was getting really hungry now that the wolf and she were calm again, but she doubted she would be able to keep anything down. She had already been getting sick all night because of the withdrawal. But no one knew. She had told no one.

Rose looked down at their hands as he stroked them. Hers hands were trembling in his gentle grip. She was tensed up from the touch, since he hadn't even warned her that he was gonna touch her, but his touch indeed had surprised her. She was surprised that he wasn't flinching or stepping back at the golden glow in her eyes. The nurses would have been stepping back by now, but Maxence hadn't met the Wolf yet and he didn't know that it was currently observing him. The golden spark was just a discreet sign that the Wolf was around.

"The night has probably been terrible for you and I'm sorry for it. They will give you a substitute to help with the withdrawal." He took a small break. "But you can't take those drugs anymore if you want to get better and get out of here. I'm gonna help you, but I'll do it without those drugs," he explained quietly to her.

He wanted to help her but wouldn't be able to if she was drugged 24/7. He hadn't pulled back when she had flinched and gently stroked her hands with his thumbs. He knew that she hadn't had any human or soft touch in ages and that his gesture had stupefied her to say the least. The golden glow had surprised him but he didn't flinch and didn't step back. He stayed close to Rose, but not too close so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable, and kept holding her hands gently.

Probably? No, it had been hell for Rose. It had been terrible. She had barely gotten any sleep and it was obvious. The bags under her eyes were even darker than usual. Rose and the Wolf didn't like the fact of not having the drugs, since they had grown addicted to them, but Rose understood she had to suffer through the withdrawal so she could get out of that hell. She knew Maxence couldn't help her if she was drugged all the time.

Maxence knew she probably had gone through hell all the night. He hadn't experienced it personally in a long time, not that he could remember anyway, but he could tell, just by watching her that she had had a rough night. She was pale and the bags under her eyes were more visible. He could feel her tremble, and wasn't entirely sure if it was the withdrawal or the tension in her body.

"I'm gonna ask for your new medication. It will help you to sleep and to feel less sick."

Maxence slowly let go of her hands and got up. He knew the nurse had stayed behind the door. He knocked on it softly. The door was unlocked and opened slowly in the few seconds that followed. Just like he thought, the nurse had stayed there. She was waiting for her next orders since Rose now was her only patient. They had told her that she would have enough work for a long while with that patient, and decided not to give her any other patient.

"I need the medication I asked for Miss Tyler."

"Oh sure." The nurse put her hand in her pocket and pulled out the bottle with the pills in it to give to Maxence. "One on morning. Two with the dinner."

"Thanks."

Maxence took the bottle. The door was closed and locked again behind him. He walked back to Rose and sat back on the bed, still keeping the distance. He pulled out one pill. He picked up the cup of hot chocolate and handed it to Rose with the pill.

"Here. Take it. It will help. I promise."

Rose couldn't describe what she was going through. She felt like shit to say the least. She felt like that nearly every day, but it was worse today. She assumed that it was obvious that she had had a bad night. She was pale, had dark bags under her eyes, had a lack of appetite, and she was trembling. Her trembling was both from the anxiety and the withdrawal. She hoped the medicine would help her. If not, she wouldn't take it.

Rose just watched Maxence get up and go to the door, knowing the nurse had stayed there. They always stayed there. She watched the nurse grab her drugs from her pocket and picked at her fingers some more. Rose stayed still and silent when he sat back down on the bed. He had asked for a medication when he had left, but they hadn't given it to her. The nurse had it in her pocket that morning, but she hadn't had the time to give it to her. The first time, they hadn't given the pills on purpose. The second time, it had just been because of a combination of circumstances.

Rose slowly took the hot chocolate and the pill. She looked at him as he promised the pill would help and hesitantly swallowed it, drinking a little cocoa to help it go down. She put the drink back down on the tray and pulled her knees to her chest slowly. She rested her chin on her knees.

"The pill is supposed to act quite quickly. You'll feel less sick, but more sleepy," he explained calmly.

"Okay."

Rose really needed to sleep right now, but if she could just hold on a little bit so he could talk to the Wolf, it would be good. He knew the Wolf was there. He had finally understood that the golden sparks in her eyes were the Wolf watching him through her. And something inside of him seemed to react to the Wolf, as if he was attracted by it, as if the Wolf was also in his mind. But it wasn't. He had never known any Wolf, and had never met one as powerful as the Bad Wolf seemed to be. The Wolf could feel that attraction to. It was left unexplained for now.

Maxence put the pills in the pocket of his leather jacket. They had to respect the dosage. It was something supposed to help her with her addiction. It was better not to abuse of it though. It could create another addiction which would be less easy to cure. According to the fact she hadn't touched her breakfast, he supposed that she wasn't hungry. Which was normal since she had most likely been sick all night. He took the tray and put it down on the bedside table. He sat down on the bed, cross-legged. Just like he had done on the previous day. He could feel her being tensed once again.

Rose knew they had to respect the dosage. It was something that was supposed to help her, and she couldn't get addicted to them otherwise they would be in bigger trouble. She would be the one in more trouble though because she would be suffering much more than she already was.

Rose wasn't hungry at all right now. She had been not so long ago, but her stomach was so upset that she hadn't taken the risks of eating after the night she'd had. Now, she had no appetite and she wouldn't force herself to eat and be sick again. She was scared of eating and being sick again to be honest. She just wanted to get better. Quickly.

"Is the Wolf responsible for your current high level of anxiety?"

His voice was quiet. He felt her body being tensed. He was partly responsible for it since he hadn't warned her he was gonna sit there and take her hands, but there was something else. He could feel it, and the itching of the new word on his hand seemed to be a sign. He was keeping it hidden under the bandage and didn't look at it. He just looked at Rose, observed her eyes as they changed.

Rose kept some space between Maxence and her. She was glad that he was respecting that need she had not to have people close to her because she was afraid of what they would do to her. She swallowed hard, not answering his question right away. He was assuming well, and it was nice to finally have someone asking the right questions, to have it done quietly, to have her pace be adopted. Her new therapist wasn't forceful. He had observed her and decided what the best way to work with her was. So far, he was really good for a newbie.

"It's both the Wolf and I causing my high level of anxiety," she finally answered, nearly silent.

Rose shivered lightly as she shyly looked up at him. Her eyes had kept the small golden glow in them. The Wolf hadn't planned on going anytime soon. That therapist was interesting enough to be observed and analysed. He was the first one in years to do something for Rose, the first one to treat her like a human, the first one not to run away. He was looking at her with his icy blue eyes, with that so intense look the Doctor used to have when he was concerned about her. The man had no idea how much it hurt for the Wolf and Rose to look at him because he looked and acted so much like the Doctor.

"Did the rub I gave you yesterday helped you to relax?" he asked gently.

Maxence would do it again if she wanted and needed to, if it would help her to relax and have some sleep. Or he could try and talk with the Wolf. He was afraid that it wouldn't be as easy as rubbing Rose's tensed body, but he had to try. He had to reach the Wolf to understand it, to understand its motivations.

"Yeah."

Rose was angry at him for taking away the medication she was addicted to, but knew that there was a reason behind it. His rub had helped, but not as much as the drugs did. She didn't want any rub today though. She had enough trouble letting him touch her the previous day. She had been tense when he had started rubbing her body. He could try talking with the Wolf instead. She didn't know how far that would get him, but it was worth a try.

"How's your hand?" she asked quietly.

She remembered the issues he had had with it at the end of their session together and how bloody it was. She glanced at the bandaged hand that had been holding hers in just a minute ago. His skin was warm when the Doctor's used to be cold. Something about his superior biology he would have answered if she had asked him why.

Maxence looked down at his hand when she asked about it. It was itching, stinging right now and he had to hold back the urge of scratching it until it bled again. It was the first time it was happening. Usually, it was itching when it was healing, but the word was too recent to be healing already.

"Much better. I cleaned it and put a bandage on soon as I was home. I need to do it again though."

"That's good. Seems to be bleeding again though."

His hand had bled again in the night and he just noticed now that there was a blood stain on the bandage. He didn't touch the bandage or try to scratch the wound.

"Yeah. Those things happen. I'll take care of it later."

"Yup. They do. Just don't let it get infected."

He shrugged lightly. It wasn't a big deal. He just had to clean it again so it wouldn't get infected. However, right now, he had other priorities. He was more worried about the bleeding scratches Rose had done to herself and how he would manage to get her authorization to take care of them. He looked back at her, his eyes in her eyes. The golden spark was still there.

"Not a chance. My brother's a doctor. He wouldn't let me have an infected wound."

He didn't talk about Donna who would certainly not leave him with an infected wound either. First, she would yell at him for being an irresponsible idiot. Then, she would clean the wound without a question about the new word and she would force him to go to bed. The best part of it all was her chicken soup. He loved her chicken soup and she only cooked it when he was sick. Maybe he could have her do some for Rose one day. Or maybe he could ask her mother to do some for her one day.

"Ah. I see. Good thing you've got a doctor in the family."

Just saying the word 'doctor' still deeply hurt her. She was glad Maxence had people around him that wouldn't let him get an infected wound and that would take care of him. She remembered when her mum would sometimes take care of her when she had the time to. When she wasn't too busy working. She doubted his family would want to be with or around someone like her now. She doubted anyone wanted to be with her. Even just as friends.

Maxence nodded. Good thing indeed. But Tenny had never been able to explain why words were appearing on his skin. He had never been able to stop them from appearing either. His own brother was thinking he was inflicting that to himself and that it could be linked to the fact he had totally forgotten two years of his life. Maybe the words were linked to that amnesia, but Maxence would never know for sure since he had absolutely no memory at all of those two years he was reported missing. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, pushing the thought away. No need to think about it right now. He opened them again after a few seconds.

Lucky man to have a doctor in the family. Doctor visits must be free for him. That was a nice thing. Rose still wondered what the words appearing on his skin meant. They had to be connected to the Doctor somehow. The Wolf knew it too. They could help him figure out what the words meant and what they all leaded to, but that would be for another day.

"Why are you doing all of this to her?" he questioned as quietly as seriously.

Maxence wasn't talking to Rose. He was talking to the Wolf. Rose looked into Maxence's eyes and chewed her lip. He was talking to the Wolf and she knew it. The golden spark became brighter as Rose picked at her fingers some more.

"I'm not responsible for all of this. Just for some of the pain. The rest of the pain is because of the withdrawal. I'm mourning too. That's why I've been acting like this," the Wolf replied just as quietly.

Maxence didn't flinch. He didn't start, didn't even move when the Wolf showed up to answer his question. He remained very calm and just faced the entity that was haunting Rose with an impressive self-control. There was still that feeling of attraction between him and the Wolf, a feeling he couldn't understand but that was reinforced now that the Wolf had taken over Rose. He listened to the Wolf every word, never cutting it off before it was done.

"Mourning. The Doctor, I guess. Miss Tyler said something about him yesterday. It seems like the both of you liked him a lot."

"Yes, the Doctor is who we're mourning the loss of. We did like him a lot. Rose loved him."

The Doctor was just a name on a record for Maxence for now. It was a story for another day, for when Rose would be ready. The man had hurt her deeply and they had to take things slow before they attacked the core of the problem. They couldn't go straight to it. Rose would dig her heels in the ground and shut herself away if Maxence ever tried.

"Yeah, it's not easy to lose someone you love."

Maxence had his very own scars in that area and didn't want to talk about it.

"You have a high part of responsibility in her condition though." His tone was quiet. Just like the previous day, he was remaining very calm. He wasn't gonna run away. He wasn't even scared. "You seem like a strong entity, something she can't handle. Us, humans, are quite weak in the cerebral state," he admitted.

"Yes, I'm a powerful entity. A Time Entity, and humans can't handle it. I don't belong there. The story of how I ended up in Rose's mind will be for another day. Today's matter is that I can't exactly control myself as easily as you all would like me to. Or as you would like Rose to."

"I've tried to control myself so I wouldn't cause so much pain. But it's not as easy as it seems."

He nodded quietly, understanding the fact that the Wolf didn't have much control on what it was doing to Rose. There were things he hadn't any control on either. Like the words. Like the unexplainable attraction he had with the Wolf.

"There must be a way to balance the things though. Something less painful, and more relaxing for miss Tyler."

Rose and the Wolf were pretty astonished that Maxence showed no sign of fear or will to run away while he was facing the time entity. He hadn't even flinched or started when the Wolf had come up and answered his first question. The therapist really was brave compared to all the others who had run away the minute the Wolf had showed up. Maxence was so calm and just listened to them, and that shocked the Wolf. No one had ever tried talking to the entity. Not ever. Once again, he was the first one. And this unexplained attraction made things even more interesting. There was more to Maxence Spitz than it seemed at first glance…


	5. Talk

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 5/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : ****"Rose and the Wolf couldn't help but be surprised at Maxence's behaviour and at the fact he wasn't running away. He had even come back the minute she had asked for him. No therapist had done that before."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.**

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CHAPTER 5: TALK

Maxence close his eyes a minute and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was a buzzing sound in his mind, as if one of his ears was ringing permanently, and it was getting annoying and was making him feel particularly rough, but he was holding on. Now wasn't the time to show weakness. He had a job to do, and he would do it right, whether he felt okay or not.

Maxence opened his eyes again and faced the Wolf. He wasn't afraid, had no reason to be. The Wolf felt familiar. There was something howling in his mind, something that was reacting to the Wolf, something making him very attracted by that strange entity. But he kept it silent, though he was certain the Wolf could read his thoughts. He was convinced of it. That searching and non-blinking look was probing his mind. His mind was a mess to say the least. There was a lot of things in it, but there was also a barrier. A big and solid wall. It was in a part of his mind he couldn't reach, even if he tried his hardest. He wasn't aware of that wall of course. If he had been, he would have guessed that the two years he couldn't remember were locked behind that wall.

Maxence swallowed. He would rather keep his thoughts for himself. He chose to focus on something else to forget that thought. Instead, he observed Rose and the Wolf. He could tell that both of them were surprised that he was so calm when all the other therapists had run away when they had seen the Wolf, but him? He saw no reason of running away from Rose, or the Wolf. None of them had attacked him. Yet. He could feel in his guts that if the Wolf ever decided to, it could attack and destroy him in a snap of Rose's fingers. Better not play with that entity.

Rose and the Wolf couldn't help but be surprised at Maxence's behaviour and at the fact he wasn't running away. He had even come back the minute she had asked for him. No therapist had done that before. They had always gotten scared, before the Wolf started talking. Neither of them had attacked those therapists despite what they were saying, and they hadn't attacked Maxence Spitz either. They probably would never attack the man unless he gave them a reason to.

Even when it was angry, the Wolf tried to keep some control not to cause Rose too much pain. Everything it was doing could hurt her, because a human simply couldn't handle a time entity. But Rose was still alive after almost ten years of having a part of the Time Vortex in her mind, because the Wolf was staying in control most of the time. There were things that weren't easy to control though. There were things the Wolf tried to do, but didn't manage to.

However, Maxence had nothing to be worried about. The Wolf was calm only around him, because he felt familiar to the Wolf, for some reasons. They would eventually find out why they felt so familiar to each other one day. It could be just a detail. It could just because he looked like the Doctor. Or it could be something else. Something bigger.

The Wolf could read his mind without physical contact unlike the Doctor, but it didn't do it. Not now. It was too curious about him in general to worry about his mind. Maxence Spitz would have to deal with his memory troubles by himself. The Wolf wouldn't take the risk to go into his mind. It could dangerous for Rose and for him. Both were very curious about the man, but they would learn about him the normal way: by spending time with him, by talking with him. But it wasn't the matter right now.

"There's nothing here to balance the things. There's nothing here to help Rose stay distracted from the pain I cause. There's nothing productive Rose can do to help her relax or anything because she can't have anything. So, she tries to entertain herself with other things. Like playing with her hair or picking her fingers." Rose was currently doing it. An old habit she couldn't quite give up since she had had nothing to get her hands busy in years. "Or doing lots of thinking. Lots of wondering. She sometimes does that too."

Maxence had already noticed Rose's habit of picking at her fingers whenever she was nervous. Today, those fingers were full of blood. Meaning she had done that for a certain time now. It was time for her to stop before it left scars on her pale skin.

"I can change that. I can ask for them to give her what she needs to get distracted, to change and clear her mind from that terrible place. But there will always be someone to supervise her. I can personally choose the person who would supervise her."

"I doubt that they would give her anything she needs to be distracted. They're only giving her certain things if you demand or threaten them. But if you do get her what she needs to get distracted, please do pick out who supervises her. And make sure it's someone nice."

"I don't threaten. I just ask. Well, I had to threaten the nurses to have that room. Just a little."

The nurses there weren't trusting him and he didn't know why. They were all looking at him strangely as if his place wasn't here, as if they had already seen him before but weren't supposed to see him again. It was disturbing, and annoying.

"I can supervise some sessions myself. I don't know many people here, but they don't seem trustworthy. Except for the nurse who was there earlier. Seems nicer than the others."

Rose didn't know why the nurses weren't trusting him. Maybe they knew something that neither Rose nor Maxence knew? Maybe it was just because he was defending her and taking care of her like they should be doing? Rose didn't care though, as long as he stayed to help her. They could find out why someday.

"I think Rose would like that. She feels more comfortable around you, you know. Even if she doesn't show it. She's just scared. She's vulnerable. But that nurse is nice. She's new she said."

"She has good reasons to, and I respect her. I keep the distance she needs, explain her everything I'm doing."

And he kept calm, really calm. He would never be violent with her like the nurses had been before. A strong will of protecting her was burning inside of him since he had seen how badly they were treating her. It made him really mad to see people so inhuman being in charge of vulnerable human beings.

Rose had a perfect reason to be scared and she was relieved that Maxence understood that. She had experienced so much and she had been alone through it all. Just like the withdrawal. She was alone through it too. Just like she had been for years. Solitude was her way of living now.

"Yes. And keep doing that. She's slowly trusting you. She hasn't had any positive touch or speech towards her for years."

The Wolf and Rose were very appreciative of his calmness. It changed from all the violence the nurses were showing to them whenever they did something that was 'wrong' and from the cowardice all the other therapists had shown before him.

"I'll talk to the nurse and see if she's trustworthy. Your opinion on the question matters too."

Maxence couldn't let Rose alone with someone the Wolf or she wouldn't approve at all. He perfectly understood why Rose was scared. After what she had live there and what she was experiencing, she had good reasons to be scared, and he didn't blame her.

"My opinion indeed does matter. I'm sure she is trustworthy though. She seems to be."

The Wolf was still studying him, still trying to understand the man. Rose's brown and golden eyes never really moved from him. Rose barely looked at him as if she couldn't, as if he would be offended and hurt her if she did but the Wolf didn't feel embarrassed at all to be scrutinising the therapist.

"How did you manage to get stuck in Miss Tyler's head? If you don't mind me asking. There is probably someone or something able to handle you out there so why stay stuck into a human head?"

Maxence was curious and everyone could see it but he didn't force the Wolf to answer his questions. He was giving it the choice, just like he had done with Rose. Thankfully, the Wolf was willing to answer his questions. More willing than Rose.

"I got stuck in her head when she looked into the heart of a time machine. She saved the Doctor, and in return, he saved her. The Doctor's machine is the only thing that can handle me. But I can't leave Rose. We're one now. I've been in her mind for years now."

"So, the only solution would be to find that machine, right? The Doctor is gone, but the machine is probably still somewhere, doesn't it?"

Maxence refused to pronounce the word 'dead'. He didn't want to make their mourning worse. If they found the machine, they would be able to transfer the Bad Wolf back into it and Rose would be free. But that was too easy. And nothing worked when it was too easy. And, indeed, Rose shook her head.

It was hard to say 'TARDIS' or a simple word as 'doctor' because it always reminded the Wolf and Rose about their past as time travellers. They had thought it would get easier with the years passing, but it didn't. The Wolf had decided not to say the words too often so Rose wouldn't be set off or saddened.

"No. it's not that easy. I'm stuck here. Inside Rose until she dies. I can't get out. The machine probably is somewhere but it's better not to disturb the Doctor. Since he kicked Rose off after all."

"Yeah, I was expecting such an answer."

Maxence frowned though. The situation was confusing right now. Both the Wolf and Rose were mourning the Doctor. How could he have kicked her off if he was dead?

"And it's still hard for us to say certain things when it comes to the Doctor. Like the ship's name and different things. So, I'm not sure when Rose will ever tell the story about him and about how I got to be inside her. If she ever does tell it out loud. But hopefully we can get through the struggles and we can talk to you or others about him. You remind us of him so much. And I think that helps us. It helps Rose's pain. Since you're the only one I've ever been so calm around. You're the only one I've ever spoken to. So, you should feel pretty special. You're doing and seeing things the other therapists never got to see."

"I'm not sure to understand though. You said you were mourning. Which implied that the Doctor is, well, you know."

Maxence understood that talking about those things were hard for Rose and the Wolf. He could tell it by their behaviour and tone. It was never easy to talk about someone you had loved and lost. Even years later.

"The Doctor isn't dead. He's a different man. See, he regenerates. It's his way of cheating death. He looked exactly like you. But when he took the Time Vortex out of Rose, it caused him to regenerate. I know you're confused about all of this. But I'm sure that Rose and I will explain it all to you in time and it'll be easier for you to understand."

It wasn't any clearer. Maxence took the information separately. The Doctor wasn't human. He knew that for sure. Probably alien for all he knew. Regeneration. Something the humans would highly love. They were so willing to live the longer they could. Oh, it was understandable in a way. There were trillions of things to see, and the world was changing every second passing. But the humans were doing the same mistakes over and over again. Should they lived longer that they wouldn't get wiser? It was to hope that whatever the race the Doctor was belonging to, it was much better and much wiser than the humans.

"Maybe, but now is not the time for that story. It will be for another day. When she will feel a bit better than now."

Maxence was very curious about the Doctor now. How come the Doctor Rose had known could have looked like him? When was it? Could he take someone's appearance just like that? All those thoughts woke up the pain on his right arm and hand. Just where the words were. He rubbed his arm lightly. His hand was trembling again so he closed his fist.

Rose knew it wasn't any clearer for him, but it would be clearer when they would explain the Doctor to him better. The Doctor indeed was alien. Humans would love to have regenerations. So, they could live longer, but they kept making the same bloody mistakes. The Doctor was superior to humans in many different ways. Maxence would know more about the Doctor when Rose was comfortable in telling him. She would probably tell him little by little. If humans did live longer, they certainly wouldn't get wiser.

"Yup. That story will be for another day. Just be patient. When she feels better, she'll probably tell you. And I will too."

The Wolf knew Maxence was very curious about the Doctor, but he would have to wait. Rose wasn't totally ready to talk about that yet. And neither was the Wolf. So many questions that Maxence had, but no answers yet. Rose would satisfy his curiosity in time. She looked at his arm as he rubbed it and closed his hand into a fist. They sensed his anger about the conditions she had been living in when they had first met, but now thing were a bit better and Rose was very thankful for that.

Maxence chuckled lightly. Patient wasn't exactly his best quality, but he would do his best on that point. He couldn't put Rose in a hurry. He had to adopt her pace if he wanted to help her. Those two sessions with her already enabled him to start adopting that pace. They were doing well for now. He had to keep that pace, to always remember to go slow and to explain her everything. He had a lot of questions, but kept it for himself, for later. It was too soon to ask them. He could feel his hand tremble more as he closed it into a fist and the words hurt a little bit more. He was bleeding again. Great. He hid it the best he could. Those things were no one's business. Only his.

Rose smirked a little at his light chuckle. Patient wasn't exactly her best quality in certain situations either, but she could be patient when needed. She had to learn how to be patient here, which caused her patience level to rise a lot. Maxence couldn't hurry Rose though. He couldn't force her and he couldn't rush her. Otherwise they would be right back at step one. He had to adopt to her pace and wait to learn about different things. Those first two sessions had set him a pace he had to stay with. And hopefully he would. They were doing well at the moment and that was good. The questions he had couldn't be ask now. They'd have to wait, as mentioned before.

Rose observed the blood on his bandage. She could feel his pain through the Wolf and the urge he had of scratching those strange words. But instead, he focused on them again and his next question surprised them both. He was dealing with his own pain but still had the time to worry about Rose's.

"Is there a way for me to convince her to get healed for her wounds?"

Maxence ignored that the Wolf had some regenerative energy that could heal her quickly, because he wasn't familiar with the Doctor's world and abilities. He didn't know anything about that world. He was a newbie as therapist, but he was also a newbie into Rose's very strange but interesting world.

"Yes, there's a way to convince her. But I can heal her if needed. I've got some regenerative energy." The Wolf looked up at Maxence. "Don't think I'm always evil. I can be nice too."

Maxence raised an eyebrow.

"I've never thought you were evil at all," he admitted.

That was true. Maxence had never thought of the Wolf as some evil entity taking the control over a poor weak human. Deep down inside of him, he knew that the Bad Wolf was something good. It just wasn't meant to be stuck into Rose's mind which couldn't handle it.

"Everyone else here thinks so. Thought I'd make it clear with you."

"Heal her. Please."

Rose yawned quietly. The medication was finally starting to work. She was slowly dozing off. With how exhausted she was, that sleep she would get would be welcomed, but the Wolf was still in charge right now. Both body and mind needed the rest so both Rose and the wolf had to be off. The Wolf shrugged lightly.

"Will do. Maybe later on though. When no one's around."

"Just convince her to rinse the blood then. So, she could sleep in a clean bed. If they find blood, they'll take it as an excuse to be awful with her."

And he didn't want that to happen anymore.

"And I'll convince her to wash the blood. I'll heal her before she sleeps. Hopefully they won't be awful to her."

"You both will need time to heal, and I'm not forcing you to anything you don't want to. Just let me know what she needs."

"We both indeed need time to heal. I'll let you know what she needs. She'll let you know too. Reluctantly of course. She's really thankful you aren't forcing her into anything."

"Yeah, I guessed that the minute I saw her in that cell," Maxence admitted.

Maxence had been angry to see how things were working here, but thankfully, he had managed to get Rose a better room, everyday meals and an access to a bathroom.

"I'm gonna talk to the nurse and see if she's trustworthy."

"Okay. I'm sure she is. But the talk will confirm it."

Maxence noticed that Rose was getting more and sleepier as they were talking. The Wolf would have to back off so she could sleep, but the talk they had had been quite interesting. They would have to have another one later. He would take notes while Rose was asleep. For now, he stood up and stretched.

"I'm looking forward another talk with you to have more explanations. It wouldn't be fair to force Miss Tyler to stay awake any longer though."

Rose ran a hand through her hair briefly. Maxence obviously wanted to know in which ways he was like their Doctor, but he didn't ask. He would talk to the Wolf another time. Right now, Rose needed to sleep. He could see that she was struggling. The Wolf would back off when it would have been done taking care of Rose so she could sleep and get the rest she needed.

The Wolf would tell Maxence how he was like the Doctor one day. Maybe Rose would too. But now, she was struggling against sleep. She yawned again and rubbed her eyes lightly. She wouldn't last long.

"I'm looking forward to another talk as well. I'll give you more explanations. She really is tired. I'm sure you'll be back tomorrow so we can talk more then."

"I'm staying around, just in case. I'll keep them away. Take all the rest you both need."

"okay. We'll gladly get the rest we need. Thanks for stayin' around."

The Wolf very carefully stood up. Rose was wobbling a little from the dizziness, but she walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind her before she carefully cleaned her scratches, gritting her teeth. She yawned again. She really was tired now. The pill seemed to work, and she was relieved it did. Maybe she would get some good rest. A rest she desperately needed.

Maxence walked to the door and knocked on it. He watched Rose as she walked to the bathroom, as he was waiting for the door to open. After a few minutes, the nurse finally opened it to let him out.

"Sorry for the wait."

"It's okay."

Maxence picked up the tray. Rose hadn't eaten, but he couldn't let it because of the rules there were in a mental hospital. They couldn't take any risk and even if he could feel deep down that Rose wouldn't do anything stupid, he still had to take the tray with him. He gave it to the nurse and walked out of the room.

"I need to talk with you."

"Me?"

"Yep."

"What for, sir?" Olivia asked, locking the door again and taking the tray.

"About Miss Tyler."

Rose carefully cleaned her scratches, chewing her lip hard. She sighed deeply and let the Wolf heal her cuts slowly after they were cleaned. She opened the door after she used the loo and slowly walked to her bed. She laid down and pulled the covers over her, curling up under the blanket like a child. She closed her eyes and was asleep before she could exhale, her sleep deep and dreamless for the first time in a long while.

"What do you want to know, sir?"

"Is there a place we can talk peacefully?"

Olivia looked up at Maxence, unsure of what he wanted to talk about. She didn't know that hospital that much so she couldn't tell if there was a place where they could talk in peace, where no one would hear what he had to say to her.

"Sounds cliché, but probably the bathroom."

"Good. Let's go."

Olivia walked to the cafeteria and left the tray in the kitchen. Then, she met Maxence in the men's bathroom. She felt a bit uncomfortable to be there, but she didn't step back. She was curious and wanted to know what he wanted to tell her that needed to be said without anyone hearing it. Maxence was washing his hands. He had taken off his bandage and was cleaning the blood on his right hand. It was still hurting and bleeding and he didn't understand why. He used two Band-Aids to hide the small number on his hand before the nurse could see it. He threw the bloody bandage in the bin and leaned on the counter to face Olivia.

"What do you want to talk about, sir?"

"Miss Tyler needs people she can trust around her. For now, no one in that hospital has earned her trust."

"Except for you."

"Not quite yet."

"What do you want me to do, sir?"

"Miss Tyler told me you were new here."

"That's true."

"How do you fit?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow, surprised by his question.

"I don't like their methods."

"I don't either."

"But I can't do anything against it."

"But you can help me. Like I said, Miss Tyler needs people she can trust around her. She told me that you've been good to her this morning. You might be the only one around."

"I'm already assigned permanently to miss Tyler. What do you want me to do?"

"The same you did this morning. Be nice to her. Talk to her. Call me if she asks for me. Give her what she needs, what she wants."

Olivia nodded. As long as it was in the rules, she could do that. That hospital had very particular rules and those rules were changing according to the patients you were in charge of. The rules Nash had created for Rose were awfully strict and discriminating and Liv didn't want to act like she was supposed to. Not after she had met Rose for real. Maxence's rules were much better. Human.

"Sir, about the Wolf…"

"It exists. I've talked to it."

"But…"

"It's living inside her head because it has no choice, but it's too powerful for her to handle it."

"I'm not sure to understand."

"Me neither. But the Wolf isn't dangerous. It just wants to protect Miss Tyler its own way."

The nurse was observing Maxence. She was hesitating in telling him that he was totally crazy or believing every word he had said to her. She looked thoughtful for a moment as she observed him. He was leaning on the counter with all the sinks, and his right hand was shaking badly. He looked feverish too. But she wouldn't say that he was sick or mad. He was just… Struggling. Struggling against some pain that had nothing to do with Rose Tyler.

"Are you alright, sir?"

Maxence looked at her and acquiesced. No, he was not okay but he couldn't talk about it. His arm and hand were hurting him again and he felt like someone was engraving the words in his skin once again with a white-hot knife. He had to go back to his flat and take care of him but he couldn't leave until he was sure that Rose was okay.

"I just need to know if you believe me, if you trust me," he told her, keeping his voice calm while he was facing his pain silently. "Miss Tyler needs help. But not from anyone. She needs help from people who believe that she's not crazy, who believe that the Wolf is real."

"You do believe it."

"I met the Wolf. It's not evil. It's just protective. And stuck."

"Stuck?"

"Yeah. I gotta find a way to get it out of her head."

"You're confusing me, sir."

Maxence looked thoughtful for a moment. He knew inside down that the nurse would take good care of Rose while he was away, but he wanted to hear it, to earn her trust. And the only way was for her to face the Wolf. Without running away.

"You have to talk with Rose, and the Wolf. I think you're the more qualified and trustworthy person to work with them around here. The thing is, you don't have to be afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Of the Wolf."

"I'm not afraid, sir. I'm just concerned. The Wolf is responsible for Miss Tyler's condition."

"Yeah, we've started working on that part. Rose needs to keep her mind busy. As long as it's busy, she wouldn't feel as much pain as she's feeling right now. She needs distraction. But distraction means that she would need some things. And I want her to have those things. But I also need her to have a good and gentle supervisor."

"I can do that."

There was nothing to think about anymore. Olivia wasn't sure if she understood the situation well but she wanted to trust him, to trust that there was a hope for Rose Tyler and that the poor girl wasn't condemned to live under Nash's yoke and injustice.

"I'm gonna talk to her, I won't run away in front of the Wolf and I'll help you to make her feel better and safe again."

Maxence nodded to thank her. He looked around and noticed that there were no cameras or smoke alarms. Perfect. He grabbed a cigarette in his bag and placed it between his lips. Just what he needed now.

"Sir, we're not allowed to…"

Maxence shrugged, "No one will know about this. Want one?"

"I don't smoke, sir."

"You're wise. I'm trying to stop but it's not that easy." He lighted it up and took a deep puff. He sighed in relief. That was not helping with the pain but it was keeping his hands busy. "I'm staying around until Miss Tyler wakes up. Can you let me know when it'll happen?"

"Yes, sir."

Maxence thanked her and watched her as she left him alone in the bathroom to smoke his ciggy. The man was strange, but he looked like a good guy. Maybe someone she could trust in that place that always got her on the alert. There was something there that caused her not to feel safe, and according to the patients she had taken care of, she wasn't alone.

Rose slept deeply and peacefully. She was surprised and relieved that she could have such a deep and peaceful sleep. The medication Maxence had given her was allowing her to have the rest she needed. A rest she hadn't had in months. Years, possibly. She knew that he would get her someone she could trust and someone who was nice and gentle to her. Thankfully, that nurse was nice and, so far, she seemed trustworthy. Which was nice since nearly no one in that hospital was trustworthy.

The Wolf lay down in the back of Rose's mind in the barrier it had created for itself. It was just looking out into Rose's thoughts, feeling a little sleepy itself. The Wolf wasn't bad. It wasn't always evil. It was just protecting Rose in its own way, but it knew that it was hurting Rose too. It knew that a human couldn't handle its power and Rose probably could deal with it better than most humans because she had travelled with the Doctor. She was a child of Time, which had had changed her deep inside. And because she had once held the whole Vortex in her so vulnerable human mind, she was now stuck with it forever. She would never be the same ever again.

The Wolf was dangerous sometimes and could cause a lot of damage. But not all the time. It gave Rose different abilities though by being in her mind. Like sensing people's intentions or reading minds. But years in that jail had caused them not to trust any of those abilities anymore. The Wolf was trying to control itself without any help. Without the mean people. It understood Rose and felt the pain she was suffering from and going through because of its presence.

After all those years of solitude and bad treatments, the Wolf knew that Rose craved a positive human touch, that the poor blonde just wanted a hug and someone telling her that everything would be alright from now on. She wanted to cuddle. She wanted someone to hold her and to never let her go. The Wolf knew Rose wanted to feel safe and happy again. Rose forgot what those things were like, what they felt like. It seemed like she hadn't felt anything but fear in forever. She had lost track of time. It was the very sad truth.

Rose was very vulnerable and the Wolf was the most aware of it since it was in her mind and could feel everything she felt just like she could feel what the entity felt. It didn't know how itself and Rose would react once they got out of here though. It depended on a lot of things. Rose would be overwhelmed easily at first from things, even the ones who used to be so normal for her. But right now, it wasn't the matter. They had to focus on resting and getting better. They had to focus on convincing the hospital that Rose Tyler was good enough to leave that hell and be a human again.

Rose continued deeply sleeping as Maxence and the nurse were talking in the bathroom. No dream came to bother her. She was too tired to dream obviously, and thankfully, the Wolf was calm and just watching over Rose. It couldn't leave Rose. It couldn't get out of her. It was stuck in her mind permanently. Until Rose died. She would just have to deal with the Wolf the best she could until the end. Half of the Vortex had been taken out of Rose. Only the Wolf was left.

Yes, the Wolf was powerful and it could be dangerous, but it had been tamed down a bit over the years of being there. No one understood apparently that it couldn't be removed from the blonde. If it was removed, Rose wouldn't be able to adapt. It would drive her crazy. And she would die. Taking the Wolf out of her would kill her. It would be like a lobotomy. Her brain would stop working. The Wolf had already made its permanent mark on Rose and had a permanent spot in her head even. It was staying. Rose probably wouldn't allow anyone to even try and take the Wolf out. Even if it was the reason why Rose was there.

Rose had someone to talk to in a way. She had the Wolf, but they mostly communicated telepathically. It was like talking to herself. It wasn't the same as talking to someone, as watching them talk, as seeing their little habits, their body language. Maxence was pretty fun to observe when he was talking and he looking like the Doctor was a considerable bonus. Rose would like to speak with him and see him more, but right now, she and the Wolf wanted him to go home and take care of himself. They wanted him to worry about himself and take care of his wounds. Rose could be dealt with another day. She was used to always been left out anyway.

Maxence was right though. Rose needed someone she could trust to watch over her. She couldn't just have anyone do it. She wouldn't trust anyone doing it. She needed to be watched over by someone who believed she wasn't crazy, because she wasn't crazy. The Wolf's power had just made her seem like it. Though the nurse had seemed very nice earlier, both Rose doubted that she could face the Wolf and not run away. No one but Maxence was able to do so. They assumed Rose was just gonna break them like a twig. They thought Rose would kill them. Which wasn't true. Why would that nurse think any different?

Rose was still deeply asleep though lots of thoughts were rushing through her head. A sigh escaped her lips. The trembling was still there, but it was bearable and wasn't as bad as earlier. She pulled the blanket over her more and tried tucking it around her a little. She didn't want them to be afraid of her or of the Wolf. It wasn't always evil or mean. It was just protective and mourning. She did need to keep her mind busy though, so she wouldn't feel so much pain. Although she was pretty used to it by now. It was just something that annoyed her sometimes. Sometimes the pain was so bad that she couldn't concentrate as well as normal, but she just needed some distractions so she could focus on something else rather than the Wolf and the pain it was causing, and since she was a patient on the major scale of risks, she needed someone to watch over her while she did those different things. Like writing or reading, drawing or colouring, or even thinking. To list a few things. Rose hoped that Olivia wouldn't run away. She was thankful to have two people wanting to help her feel better and safe again rather than one person doing all the work.

A couple hours passed by before Rose was awake again. She still felt groggy from the medication. She felt better though. She was hungry, but had no specific want to eat. So, she would deal with the hunger pains once again. She carefully stretched in the bed, shivering lightly. She had a bit of a fever from the withdrawal. No one had noticed it yet. She used the bathroom and brushed her hair out a bit before she slipped back into bed and rubbed her eyes. She pulled the blanket back over her and lay on her side. She traced the wall slowly. She felt the normal pain she felt from the Wolf, but nothing much else.

Rose could have slept for another few hours, but decided to keep herself awake and do something else instead of sleeping all day, even if that would help the withdrawal pass quicker. She assumed – but it was a bit unlikely – that Maxence was still there for some reason. She could just sense it. Maybe the Wolf could sense his presence, could sense him when he was nearby? The Wolf could do that. Along with a list of other things.

Maxence hadn't left the building the whole time she had been sleeping. He had quickly gone to a pharmacy close to the psychiatric hospital and bought some things to take care of his wounds. He had locked himself into a toilet booth for disabled people and had taken his jacket and jumper off. His right arm was covered with blood. The word 'Run!' had been engraved in his arm once again and it was bleeding like hell. He had cleaned the wound with water and soap and disinfectant and had bandaged it all once again, hoping it would stay in place until he could go back home. He had done the same with his hand and made everything disappear in his bag. He didn't want people asking him questions.

Then, he had gone into the nurses' quarters and had waited there, smoking and drinking a lot of coffee. He was smoking another cigarette when the nurse who had introduced him to Rose the previous day – probably the chief around there – came in.

"You're still there, you?"

"Yep. Waiting for my patient to wake up. I have to be sure she's well taken care of."

The nurse snorted. She didn't like him and it was obvious, but she hated Rose more. She was looking at him just like all the other nurses – except for Olivia, he had seen her name on the planning. She was looking at him as if she knew and despised him, as if she knew something important about him. It was scary.

"Five minutes in and they all ran away. Not you."

"Because I believe her."

"The Wolf?" the nurse mocked him. "You believe it exists? Ah! You should be locked down here too just for that thought."

"I'll be good. Thank you."

Maxence didn't care her hating on him as long as she wasn't getting in his way to help Rose. He didn't want her to take her rage out on Rose either. For now, he couldn't ask for a transfer into another hospital, which really bothered him, and he was alone to protect his patient. Well, maybe he would get some help from Olivia. Only the time would tell now…


	6. Secrets

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 6/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Nash Grieve, the chief nurse, wouldn't believe him if he said that he looked like someone both Rose and the Wolf had known, someone they were missing and mourning every day. It probably was very hard for them to look at him if he reminded them so much of their lost Doctor."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for My Time Of Dying.**

 **A/N3 : I'd like to thank all the people who likes and comments this story. I keep in mind all your advices while writing the next chapters.**

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CHAPTER 6: SECRETS

Rose was still laid on her side and tracing the wall slowly. She stretched and cracked her toes as she listened to the Wolf in her mind. It seemed calm right now, and it was. It was just lying there. It was either a wolf or a human in her mind. At least it was what she saw. She was thankful that the Wolf was calm despite the withdrawal they were going through together. It was hell, but they were holding on.

Rose wondered where Maxence was and what he was up to. The thinking kept the Wolf distracted even more, which was nice, but her body was feeling the effects of the withdrawal. She was shaking again and she felt miserable. Still. Despite the medication Maxence had given her. Her stomach seemed like it wanted to act up again, but there was nothing was inside it, so vomiting would not be a nice experience. She felt hungry but was nervous to eat because of her upset stomach. Her head was hurting too. She felt like she had a fever. Hopefully the withdrawal would go away soon. Hopefully she would feel better again.

"For your information," started Maxence, "the Wolf exists. I talked to it earlier. Miss Tyler isn't crazy. She's only dealing with something she can't handle."

"She has attacked all the therapists we found for her before you. Why didn't she lay a finger in you?"

"Maybe because I'm her last chance to get out of here. Or maybe because she likes me more than the others."

Maxence shrugged. Nash Grieve, the chief nurse, wouldn't believe him if he said that he looked like someone both Rose and the Wolf had known, someone they were missing and mourning every day. It probably was very hard for them to look at him if he reminded them so much of their lost Doctor.

"But you've forbidden us from giving her any drug. She's gonna hate you for that."

"Already is. Still hasn't tried to attack me."

"Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time, and you'll run away."

"Your opinion."

Olivia, the nurse in charge of Rose, came in with a cup. She wasn't surprised to find Maxence there. She had come and talked to him a few times while he was waiting for Rose to wake up. He hadn't asked for her name, but when he had called her 'Olivia', she had corrected him. She preferred being called 'Liv' for reasons that were her own. He hadn't asked any questions – which she was grateful for – and had processed the information. He looked up at her.

"I've got what you asked, sir."

"Great. And miss Tyler?"

"Awake, sir. But I'm afraid that she might be sick."

"Yeah," he said. "That's what happens when the body is experiencing withdrawal." He took the cup from Liv's hands. "Let's bring her that soup. Doesn't smell as good as a homemade soup cooked by my mom but it smells amazing."

Liv nodded and led him back to Rose's room. Nash followed them. She was curious to see how Maxence was working and why Rose hadn't attacked him yet. She knew very well that if Rose did attack him, she would forever stay locked into that hospital. Nash didn't think that Rose should ever be out of there. She was too insane and dangerous in her opinion and she didn't mind telling it to the therapist.

Rose heard the nurse she hated talk nearby and perked her head up briefly. She sighed quietly as she wondered who she was talking to. She hoped she wasn't planning on kicking Maxence out of the hospital. She didn't want anyone getting in Maxence's way of taking care of her because he was the only one to believe her and to really want to help her.

The Wolf existed, but no one believed her. Only the Doctor did. The man who was dead. The man who had changed his face. She remembered the Doctor saying that he feared his next regeneration wouldn't like her and would kick her out. Well, his fear had come true sadly. She had feared it too. She remembered his last words: _'Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.'_ But this was far from fantastic. Very far.

Maxence looked exactly like the Doctor. That's why she hadn't attacked him. That's why even if she was mad at him for taking the medication from her, she hadn't attacked him. Because he looked so much like the Doctor that attacking Maxence would be like attacking _him_. That was something she couldn't do. She did hate him, but for a short time. She didn't like him just because he was her last chance out of here, though that was one of the reasons. She liked him because he looked like the man she had lost. Maxence looked like the man she had wanted to be with forever. However, he had his own life. His own girlfriend. No room for her.

Her stomach suddenly flipped and she felt nauseous. She got up and went to the bathroom carefully. She dry-heaved, but nothing came up. She felt what little colour she had fade away from her face and held her hair back. She winced as bile burned her nose and throat, tears brimming her eyes. She pulled her knees to her chest and sat on the floor next to the toilet. A good mother cuddle sounded amazing right now, but she had forgotten what that felt like. She had forgotten what homemade soup tasted like.

Maxence came into the room as soon as it was unlocked by Liv. He looked for Rose and frowned when he heard the dry-heaves. Liv was right, Rose was sick. He walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Are you okay?"

No, she wasn't but it was politer to ask the question. Rose flinched when he knocked on the door. She winced a bit in pain and sighed. She was glad that he was back, that he hadn't let her down.

"No. why?" she answered, her voice soft.

Rose was scared she would vomit again if she got any louder. She pulled her knees a bit tighter to her chest and leaned her head back against the cold wall behind her. She was looking for some relief, but she would feel like that for days.

"Yeah, me neither. Can I come in?"

Nash raised an eyebrow at his way of working. Maxence shot her a dirty look in return. The two nurses had followed him in the room and Nash closed the door behind them to limit the risks of Rose running away. Even if she had all the reasons in the world to run away from that place, Maxence knew that she wouldn't try. The nurse muttered something about Rose being sick again and complained about how troublesome she was, and how they always had to take care of her. She was the most bothering patient they had out there. Maxence shot her another dirty look.

Rose listened to the sounds out of the room to know who was there. It sounded like it was just Maxence, until she heard the mutter. Her eyes shot open. She looked at the door and moved into the shower quickly and quietly despite how sick she felt. The golden spark was suddenly bright in her eyes. The Wolf was there, ready to protect its host if Nash ever tried something.

"Can you please shut up? I'm trying to work here." His Northern accent was stronger when he was pissed off by someone or something. "My way of working is not opened for debates. If you don't like it, you can go away. Miss Tyler would feel better if you weren't there anyway. You did enough harm."

The Wolf felt the fear Rose did, and didn't want the blonde to freak out. She swallowed and brought her knees tightly to her chest listening to what was happening outside. She listened to him speak and swallowed at the strong northern accent. The same accent the Doctor had. Maxence sounded so much like him. It made Rose tear up a little at the thought.

Nash suddenly got really angry at him. She came closer to him and pressed a finger on his chest. Maxence didn't step back. He looked at the finger on his chest and stared at her. What was she gonna say?

"Be careful what you say, boy. I can ruin your career with a snap of my fingers."

"You're free to try."

Maxence was standing up to her but somehow, he could see in her eyes than she knew something about him he didn't. Had they met before? He repressed a shiver. That woman was really scary but he wouldn't show her anything. He wouldn't give her any power.

Rose swallowed hard as she listened to the small argument outside. Her stomach dropped and her heart skipped a beat. Nash couldn't end his career. Could she? Maxence hadn't done anything wrong. He was helping his patient like he was supposed to.

"Yes, you can come in. But the chief nurse bitch can't," the Wolf replied, taking Rose's place.

If Nash came into the bathroom, Rose didn't care how bad she was feeling: she would attack her with no hesitation whatsoever. She wouldn't let that woman lay another hand on her. The Wolf wouldn't either. But what was bothering them was her words. Maybe Nash did know something about Maxence that he didn't. Maybe they had met before and Maxence didn't remember. But why would he have met someone like Nash?

Maxence was looking at the nurse, defying her. Whatever she had in hand to stand up to him, he would face it. He would not let her win this battle. He couldn't.

"Be careful, doctor Spitz. You're picking the wrong enemy."

"You don't know anything about me."

"Don't be so sure about it."

Maxence swallowed but didn't let her see that he was afraid of what she could know about him.

"Don't play with me. You would lose."

Maxence got free from her finger and got into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him so Nash wouldn't see what was going on in there. He didn't need any more remarks. He found Rose in the shower and frowned lightly. He sat down on the ground, facing her.

Rose was listening to them from inside, tightly pressed against the wall of the shower. She was trying to put as much distance between herself and what was outside the door. She swallowed as her stomach rumbled mysteriously. She didn't know what it was up to since she had nothing to vomit, but it still hurt.

Rose knew what the Wolf had in mind. She didn't want that nurse ruining her last chance out of here. She would kill herself the first chance she got. She would try and kill Nash too. That old bitch of a nurse. Maxence couldn't be scared of that nurse though. He could get the whole place shut down for how they ran things. Rose growled as she heard the door open and looked at Maxence. She relaxed a little and sighed.

"I'm sorry for that."

Maxence pointed to the door with his thumb. He didn't know what the chief nurse was trying to do but it was certainly not something good. She seemed to know him better than he knew himself and it was frightening to think about. He observed Rose. She was protecting herself from what was outside. She nodded at his apology and kept some distance between them, but it was a small distance.

"She won't come in. I won't let her."

He didn't know if he could actually prevent Nash from coming in but he knew that if she did, he wouldn't be able to stop Rose before it was too late. He knew she would attack the nurse and try to make her pay for all the harm she had done to her. And they all knew how it would end. So, it was better if the nurse didn't come in.

"She better not. She'll regret it," Rose replied quietly.

She would attack the nurse. She would do it with no hesitation, and no one would be quick enough to stop her. She would get her revenge for all the harm Nash had done. It was better if the nurse didn't come in.

"Why's she even in here?"

Rose shivered lightly and picked at her pants. She didn't know what Nash was trying to do either but it certainly wasn't something good. As usual.

Maxence observed Rose closely. Of course Nash would regret it if she had the bad idea of coming in the bathroom. Rose still had the golden spark in her eyes that meant that the Wolf was there, watching him. It had felt the danger in the person of Nash and was ready to attack if needed. Maxence shrugged lightly.

At least Maxence knew Nash would regret it if she came in there. Hopefully she wouldn't. The wolf indeed was watching him. It was there. Protecting Rose. It sensed and felt the danger and was ready to attack if needed.

"We were having a talk before Liv, the gentle nurse who called me, told me you were awake. Her full name's Olivia but she prefers Liv."

"Nice name. I've always like it. I'll keep her name in mind."

"Reminds me of a book I've read some time ago. Or it was a movie? No, it was a book. Definitely a book."

Maxence was talking more to himself than to her on that point. It took him a few seconds before he remembered where he was and what they were talking about. He was getting distraught quickly. He knew that was because of the pain of his arm. He didn't want to take any painkiller to keep his mind as clear as he could. He really hoped his new wounds wouldn't get infected. He had cleaned them as much as he could with what he had. He couldn't do much more, but his current surroundings weren't very good for a quick and good healing. He shook his head lightly.

Rose listened to him quietly and raised an eyebrow lightly. She didn't interrupt the conversation he was having with himself. He seemed to get distracted quickly. Sounded kind of like something the Doctor had a habit of doing. So, she just kept picking at her pants, still trembling. She hoped his wound wouldn't get infected either. This wasn't the best place for a quick and good healing. She was proof of that. Hopefully he could clean it well and take good care of it later when he would be back at home and wouldn't have to worry about her.

"Yeah. Sorry. Explaining is kind of a habit. I could be a teacher. Maybe. This is not something I've wanted to do. My mother is a teacher. This is why I'm so educated on so many things." He stopped for a moment. "Sorry, I'm speaking alone again. It happens often. It's not against you. I'm getting distraught very easily sometimes and I start speaking about anything and everything and I can't stop myself."

His hands were moving at the rhythm of his voice and he realised that he was once again lost into a monologue. He really needed to go back home and to get some rest – and maybe some alcohol too – but he would leave only when Rose wouldn't need him anymore for today.

"I've noticed that. You should've been a teacher. You probably would've been a good one. I'm sure your mother is a good teacher. I was pretty good in high school. But my mum isn't a teacher. So, I'm not very educated on some things. Try not to get distracted so easily though."

Rose watched his hands move as he spoke. It was fascinating. The Doctor was doing this to. He talked to himself a lot and was moving his hands as if he was trying to make someone understand the strange words he was using. But she had never really understood him unless he did explain to her what he was talking about. Rose smiled a little. It was hard not to notice Maxence's habits of speaking a lot and moving his hands. He had never really done it the previous day but it seems natural. Like a routine.

Maxence seemed to be doing that when he was tired or hurt. He needed to go back home and to get some rest as soon as possible. Rose would gladly drink with him if she could. She hadn't seen a drop of alcohol in forever. She'd never drank, actually.

Rose also used to get distracted a lot when she was little. That was one of her problems in school and she had troubles learning sometimes. She didn't fail high school though, but she didn't get a scholarship like she wanted either.

"Do you do this when you're tired or when you're wounded?" Rose asked softly.

Maxence looked down at his hands. He was doing it out of habit. He put them down on his knees and tried not to get into one of his monologues again.

"Both. I don't realise it. It's an old habit. My brother's laughing at me when I start going into monologues. My mom just tells me to get some sleep."

He scratched the back of his head lightly and smiled, a bit embarrassed that she had noticed his habits of speaking a lot and moving his hands when he was getting tired or when he was in pain.

"I used to do it a lot too. Don't worry. A lot of other people do it too. You shouldn't really be laughed at for something that's a habit or something you can't help. But that's not my place to say anything about it I guess."

"He has habits I'm laughing at too. We're not mean to each other though. It's a brothers thing I guess."

Maxence didn't know much about 'real' brothers. If Tenny had been his blood-related brother, maybe he would have had the same habits as he did. Or maybe it was just something you caught when you spent a lot of time with someone. It was something he was still working on. One of the numerous mysteries of the human behaviour.

"Ah. I see. I don't have any siblings. So, I don't really know what that's like. But it seems like a brother thing."

Maybe they would've had the same habits if they were blood related. There were many things that was mysterious about the human behaviour and the human mind. Rose was interested in that too. She hadn't really been before the Doctor. He had been the one opening her eyes on the world, on the people.

Maxence frowned lightly. It was inappropriate of him to speak about his brother to Rose, and it had nothing to do in the talk anyway. He was supposed to talk to her about herself, not about him. Rose understood that he was just talking because he was tired and wounded. She wasn't complaining. It was nice to hear more about his personal life anyway.

"Maybe. But you should get some sleep. Your mum is right on that."

"I will. When you won't need me anymore. You're my number one priority."

Actually, she was number two because his family would always be his number one, but he wasn't gonna admit it. Rose Tyler was fascinating him. The Wolf was fascinating him too. Plus, he felt related to the both of them in a way. Which was weird.

"Good. I want you to get lots of rest. No need to constantly worry about me. And I'm sure I'm your number two priority. Family comes first."

Rose didn't know what was so fascinating about her but she was glad that she had caught his attention enough for him to help her. It made her feel special in a way. Rose and the wolf felt related to Maxence too in a way. Which indeed was weird.

"That's my job. You need me, I come. That's all."

His family would understand if he made them his second priority to help someone. That's how his mother raised him. To be an altruist. That was how he was. And if Rose needed him, then he would be here for her. Rose hoped that his family would understand like he said. She was glad to know he would be there for her if she needed him though.

"I'm sorry about that." He tugged his ear lightly. "I can't help it."

Maxence really need some sleep and painkillers. Mixed with some alcohol for sure. Something that would knock him out for a moment and make him forget about his pain and the feeling of fear that place was nagging at him since he had first walked in the building.

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

Maxence looked at her as she still picked at her pants. She was nervous. No need to ask why. She had probably heard the nurse threatening him through the door earlier and it was most likely the reason why she was hidden in the shower. He kept the small distance he could have with her in that small bathroom.

Rose indeed was nervous and has the perfect reason to be. She had heard every work spoken outside. So, she was nervous. She was scared. Just like always. Those were emotions that never left her. It was one of the reasons of why she was hiding in the shower. She appreciated the small distance between them, but she also enjoyed being close to him.

"Did you sleep well?" he suddenly asked.

Rose was pale and trembling but she didn't look as tired as she was earlier. She felt a bit better. But not much.

"Yes, I did. A deep and dreamless sleep for a few hours straight. I wouldn't be able to tell you how long it's been since I've been able to have a sleep like that," she responded.

"Good. Thanks to the pills, you'll get to sleep that deep more often. I can't do much against the sickness though. You're gonna feel like shit for a few days. Then, it will all feel better and your body will be fully detoxified from the drugs."

Which would be a good thing. Her mind would be clearer. The pain too, but he would be there to help her going through it. He knew what she was going through. He had lived it too. A long time ago.

"Yeah. Thanks for the pills, by the way. I'm glad I can finally get some sleep. Clearly I'm gonna feel like shit for the next few days. No need to point that out."

Rose sighed. She hoped her mind would be clearer. She wasn't looking forward to the increased pain she would have to go through though. After she was done with this withdrawal and with those pills, no more medication for her. At all. She wouldn't take anything anymore.

"My question's gonna sound weird to you but… I've spoken with the Wolf earlier. It said you needed distraction to handle the pain better. I wonder what kind of distractions? Are you an artist or something?"

"I've always loved art. I'm not an artist. I don't really have a college degree for anything. Never got to go. I worked as a shop assistant. I love to draw. Read. Write. Colour. Just to name a few."

Rose shrugged and looked at him. She could see where he wanted to go but she doubted he could go to the end of that idea. Not in that hospital at least.

Maxence suddenly opened his bag and grabbed his pen and notepad. He ripped the pages he had written on and put them back in his bag. Then, he placed the notepad and pen on the ground between Rose and him.

"Show me. Please."

Rose took the notepad and pen and started drawing a picture. Maxence looked at Rose as she drew on his notepad. He watched the pen moving and her hand being firm and not trembling as she drew. He wondered what she was drawing. He would see it soon.

Rose was drawing the Wolf and what it looked like in her mind. It was nice that she wasn't trembling for once and that she could actually focus on something. She could feel the pain drifting away too, but knew it wouldn't last too long. After she was done with the drawing, she handed him the notepad, showing off her detailed drawing of the Wolf behind her golden barrier, with lots of little details. Hopefully she'd be able to add colour and some more details to it in the future. Where maybe she'd be able to draw him another picture in colour instead of in pen.

Maxence kept watching her while she drew and took the notepad when she handed it to him. His eyes grew big and his fingers lightly brushed the drawing. He was afraid of ruining it but he liked feeling the grooves left by the pen. The final work was amazing and he loved feeling the drawing under the tip of his fingers. It was like a picture except it was a drawing.

"This is amazing," he murmured. "It is the Wolf, isn't it?"

"Thank you," she whispered back. "Yes. It's the way I see the Wolf in my mind."

Rose blushed at his compliment. She hadn't drawn in a long time and it felt good to be drawing again. Apparently, she still could draw very well and she had her therapist really impressed by her talent. She was glad he liked her drawing so much. She loved to draw. It was something she had always enjoyed since she was little. Rose Tyler was a real artist and Maxence was unable to even write properly.

"That's honest. I love it a lot. That's a beautiful representation of the Wolf. Mind if I keep it?"

He was so busy watching the drawing, admiring the lines and details of it that he didn't realise the chief nurse had finally decided to come in, and Rose couldn't give him an answer. Rose was glad he loved her drawing so much. She would have said yes to him keeping the drawing. She didn't mind at all if he kept it.

"You're not gonna stay in that room all day!" she exclaimed.

Rose growled as the chief nurse came in, the bright golden glow back in her eyes. She lunged at the chief nurse swiftly and grabbed her shirt to throw her out of the room. She glared at the woman. Maxence didn't have the time to react before Rose jumped on the nurse and threw her out of the room. He got up quickly, leaving all his stuff on the floor.

"He'll do what he wants. Leave him be. Touch me and I'll snap you like a twig," the Wolf threatened.

Maxence rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed Rose's hand. He gently forced her to let go of the shirt and placed himself between Rose and the nurse, his back facing the nurse. He looked at Rose. Her eyes were more golden than earlier. It was the Wolf.

"Don't. It's useless."

Rose glared at Nash and watched her closely. She wasn't gonna do anything else anyway. Nash didn't seem to want to do anything wrong now that Rose and the Wolf were holding her so firmly. Rose looked at Maxence and swallowed calmly.

"Wouldn't be useless at all to me. It would be very satisfying to get revenge."

Rose took a few deep breaths to calm down as the Wolf was trying to protect her as well and prevent any kind of anxiety or panic attack from happening. The drawing had been a nice distraction, but it didn't get to work forever.

Maxence stayed between the nurse and Rose. Yeah, indeed. She had every right to be angry, every right to want revenge but now wasn't the time. It was too early. If she did something as stupid as attack a nurse – let alone the chief nurse – they would lose their calm and patience and throw her back to the cell she had been in with no chance of ever getting out of there.

"Here you are," Nash smirked. "This is the real her, doctor. The monster. You heard her? She's thirsty for blood. All she wants to do is attack people and hurt them."

"Shut up," muttered Maxence under his breath.

Maxence lightly pushed the nurse away. It was for her own protection. He didn't know what Rose was capable of when she was in that state of mind, but he would rather not know. It was helping that Nash was provoking her on purpose. Damn bitch. Maxence never took his eyes off Rose, off the Wolf.

"You're not telling me to shut up, boy. You didn't want to believe any of us but this is who she really is! A monster! She deserves to be locked down in that cell!"

"Just shut up already! She didn't try to attack me because she has no reason to! But she has all the reasons to attack you!"

Maxence was still not looking at the nurse who was stuck between him and the wall. The pain he was in increased his annoyance and the anger was overwhelming him once again. He clenched his fists.

Rose stayed where she was. The Wolf wouldn't attack Maxence. It would be like attacking the Doctor, the man they had lost and that wouldn't happen. The Wolf couldn't do that. That was something it and Rose would regret later.

Rose had every right to be angry, every right to want revenge, but she did know that it was too early. She just wanted to scare her a bit that's all. She wasn't actually gonna do anything. Not now anyway. It was stupid to attack the chief nurse and Rose knew it. If they ever threw her back into that cell, she would find any way to kill herself. She knew different ways. She could do it throughout the night. No one would care. No one had cared for years. Maxence was the only one who cared. The first person who cared.

"You're no better than her and her Wolf, Spitz. We all know who you are here." The words made him freeze in fear. What did they know about him? "We know you also have a part of that Wolf inside you," Nash murmured in his ear.

Nash was being mean, and Maxence didn't know if she was fooling him or not. He had no time to think about it. He was about to turn around and face the nurse when he suddenly felt the sting of a needle in his thigh. Before he could even understand what was going on, he felt his eyelids becoming heavy. He stumbled, tried to say something and finally lost the battle. He fell but was out before he touched the ground.

Rose ignored the nurse, knowing she would just get angered more and more if she listened and she would break eventually. She just watched Maxence, her jaw clenched tightly. She had all the reasons to attack her and she knew that Maxence knew that. But she wouldn't attack Maxence. Never. She listened to the last part of Nash's talk though. She hadn't seen any of the words on his body, but she had reasons to believe different things.

"Leave him ALONE!" Rose screamed as Nash put the needle in his thigh.

Rose grabbed Nash by her hair and threw her across the room in pure anger. Then, she took Maxence and carefully dragged him into the bathroom, the golden glow in her eyes stronger than ever. Once she got him in the shower, she shut the door. She was trembling harder from the anger and the withdrawal. What did that nurse mean? Rose had some looking to do before he woke up. She had some thinking to do. Maybe she would figure out what that bloody nurse meant. But for now, the Wolf had two people to protect.

Nash whimpered when Rose finally attacked her. That was what she had wanted actually, to show Maxence Spitz the real Rose Tyler, but he somehow had an influence on her. He was keeping her calm and reasonable, and that most likely was because they were the same. Literally the same. She could feel it. She could see the Wolf inside his mind as well as she could see it in Rose's mind. It was not as pronounced as it was with Rose, but it was there. Somehow, the both of them had known each other. Even if he couldn't remember it.

Rose smirked briefly as she heard the chief nurse whimper. She would do it a hundred times more to get her to be scared of her so she wouldn't come near her. Rose wouldn't hurt Maxence and she knew that he knew that, deep down. She couldn't hurt him, but Rose knew that the others didn't understand that. They thought that she would eventually lash out on him. When he actually was the only one keeping her calm, the only one able to talk to her and to the Wolf. Rose felt like herself and Maxence had known each other at one point, but she wasn't sure how. She had one thought in mind, but it seemed impossible. Maybe he had been there before for something similar to what Rose was dealing with, but not the exact same.

Nash got up, lightly massaging her body. The alert was given. Rose Tyler had become mad again and had attacked her and taken her therapist as a hostage after she knocked him out. It was quick before stronger nurses came in the room to try and overpower Rose. Liv, who had been dismissed a few minutes earlier by the chief nurse, came back at the same time.

"Let me talk to her."

"That's enough talking."

"She's just afraid!"

"She attacked two people and has one of them as a hostage! He's wounded. His head was bleeding."

"Just let me talk to her. I'll try to calm her down."

But it was useless. The nurses already had broken down the door and were coming in the bathroom. Maxence was still out and his head was indeed bleeding, but it was just his eyebrow arch. Just a small cut because of the fall. Nothing more. His stuff was spread around him and the cup of soup he had brought to Rose and totally forgotten to give her was now about to be spilt by those indifferent brutes thinking they were doing right when they were doing everything wrong.

Rose carefully cleaned off the small wound on Maxence's eyebrow arch and wiped the blood away. She flinched at Liv's yell and her hands trembled violently. She hadn't attacked Maxence. Nash was lying. She had drugged him. Rose hadn't even touched him. She growled at the staff as they surrounded Maxence. She stayed close beside him and the golden glow never left her eyes. Rose Tyler could only wonder what they were gonna do to her, where they were gonna put Maxence. She doubted she would get that cup of soup now. She would probably be thrown back into that disgusting cell. Maybe they would scare her or beat her to silence. They weren't doing anything right. They were doing everything wrong.

Liv held back the anger she was feeling for her superior and stormed into the bathroom, shoving the staff aside. She shot them a dirty look and forced them to stay back while she tried to talk to Rose. She wouldn't let any of them use the hard way. She would rather use the soft way first. Whether they liked it or not. The nurses stepped back and waited for the next step. Liv knelt down.

"It's okay. They're not gonna hurt you. He wouldn't let them do. I won't let them do either."

Liv looked into Rose's gold eyes and, for a moment, she could feel the power of the Wolf vibrating in the air. Her patient must have been provoked to react so violently. Liv figured out that she hadn't taken Maxence as a hostage. She was actually _protecting_ him from someone. From Nash, the chief nurse. But what had happened to them in the few minutes that she had been gone?

Rose carefully stroked the wound on Maxence's brow with her thumb, her hand faintly glowing gold as she tried not to focus on the people circling her, as she tried not to focus on the people wanting her to panic and lash out to protect Maxence from them. She flinched as Liv kneeled down but looked up at her cautiously.

"You're the Wolf, aren't you? You don't want to hurt Miss Tyler or the Doctor Spitz. You're just trying to protect them." The staff was standing behind her and making her nervous but she wouldn't let Rose down. She wouldn't let them approach or touch her. "Can you give me the doctor Spitz so I can take care of him? They will go away as soon as I will have him. I know you're not gonna hurt him but that's what they think. I'm sure he won't be mad at you."

Nash was watching, hoping that Rose wouldn't get reasonable enough to give Maxence back. If she did, Nash would have to back off. She wouldn't be able to lift a finger on her because of the persons protecting her. They were two now. Three with the Wolf. And it was harder to get rid of three people than to get rid of just one.

Rose could hear that the woman wasn't lying to her. There was truth in her voice. It made Rose relax a bit. She looked into Liv's eyes with her current golden ones. The Wolf would never take Maxence as a hostage. It was protecting him. Rose was too, but it was the Wolf in charge for now.

"Mmhm." The staff was making Rose really nervous too. The Wolf was a bit nervous but it could hide it. "No need to take care of him, miss. I already did it."

The Wolf moved its hand from Maxence's brow, showing that the small wound was gone. It looked like he had never had a wound there in the first place.

"I'm not evil. I'm just protective. There's a large difference. But no one here understands that. Sorry we couldn't meet at a better time."

Rose moved a bit away from Maxence, a silent message to Liv that she could take him. She gave a brief nod to her. Nash couldn't touch her. There were people protecting her. People she couldn't really get rid of. The Wolf shot a brief glare towards the chief nurse and the other staff. If only she could give her piece of mind to them.

Liv observed Rose closely, trying not to make any move that would scare her and make her go back on her defensive position. She looked at her hand, stroking Maxence's skin. Her eyes grew big when she saw the golden light in her hand and Maxence's wound disappearing. Rose seemed to be perfectly fine too. The Wolf had some interesting powers.

"Impressive," murmured Liv for herself. "He'll probably just have a good headache thanks to you."

The staff was staying behind her and no one was making a move. For now, Rose had made no offensive move and they had no reason to intervene – much to Nash's displeasure. Rose's lips twitched at Liv's murmur.

"I'm sure he might. But it shouldn't last for too long."

Rose hadn't done anything bad for the staff to make a move, which was good. She wasn't gonna do anything bad anyway. The only bad thing she had done was attacking the chief nurse, but she hadn't hurt anyone else. She hadn't harmed Maxence at all. Neither did the Wolf. Rose knew Nash didn't like it and that she was very mad.

"He did understand that. He told me. I believed him. I believe you."

"I know you two believed me. But no one else did."

"What matters is that some people believe you now, and we are willing help you get out of here."

"Yeah, I guess that does matter now. I wanna get out of here. Hopefully you can help me and Doctor Spitz can too."

Liv took a small and slow step and picked Maxence up. He didn't move, didn't say a thing. He was totally out, but no one knew that he had been drugged except for Rose and Nash. Liv was away when it had happened. She handed Maxence to one of his male colleague. Rose had made the good choice by giving Maxence back and Liv knew that no one could lift a finger on her now. She had done nothing wrong. She was safe.

Rose watched Liv pick Maxence up and stayed where she was. She knew they wouldn't believe her since the chief nurse ruled over her. Too bad Liv hadn't been in the room. Rose hadn't hurt him. Maxence got handed off and Rose smirked faintly as she sensed Nash's rage. It was nice to see her so angry because Rose had won, because the Wolf had won.

"Can you bring the Doctor Spitz to the nurses' quarters please? I'm gonna stay with Miss Tyler for now and be sure that she's fine."

Nash was raging, but the staff obeyed to Liv so she was forced to cancel the alert. The staff left the bathroom quickly. One of them was carrying Maxence out. The chief nurse caught him outside the room.

"Bring him back down. The yellow room. I have to talk to him."

"The yellow room? But..." started the male nurse.

"Make sure to tie him really tight."

The nurse had no choice but to obey. He brought Maxence to the yellow room and tied him as tight as he could. In that building, they were just a few to know about the yellow room, and to know what that room was for, and it wasn't something good. Whatever Nash wanted to do with Maxence, it wasn't gonna be something nice, but they would all keep silent about it and pretend they knew nothing…


	7. Electroshock

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 7/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Rose swallowed hard and trembled just at the memories of it. She hugged her knees against her chest. She didn't want Maxence to forget, because her last chance of getting out of here would be ruined. And he was quite nice. A very gentle guy. He didn't deserve to suffer just because he was trying to help her."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 7: ELECTROSHOCK

Rose listened closely to the talk outside the room and closed her eyes for a moment. Knowing Nash the way she knew her, she wouldn't stop there. She was planning something that would harm Rose. Since she couldn't touch Rose herself, she would find another way. Right now, the best way to harm Rose was to attack Maxence. That's why she had drugged him and forced Rose to show her 'real' side. She was using every mean to reach her goal. But the yellow room? Rose had been there before. That room was not good at all. She looked at Liv, the golden glow still in her eyes.

"The yellow room," suddenly said the Wolf. "Nash just told them to take him to the yellow room. That's not good at all. I'll be fine. Just please go make sure he's safe. I'll watch over Rose and make sure she's fine."

It hoped that Liv would listen and that she would make sure Maxence was okay. He was Rose's last chance out of that hospital, and it didn't want anyone ruining her last chance out of that living hell hole. Liv couldn't have heard the talk the chief nurse was having with the other nurse. She didn't have enhanced senses like Rose did thanks to the Wolf. But whatever the talk was about, the nurse seemed to obey.

Liv raised an eyebrow at the Wolf suddenly begging her to check on Maxence. She had no idea of what was the yellow room, nor where it was in the building. She had never heard of a yellow room since she was there. But she was new so she didn't know the hospital as well as her colleagues. She ignored that the staff was secretly using old and forbidden methods with their patients.

"You heard the talk from here?" she asked, surprised. "What's the yellow room? Where it is?"

Right now, Rose wished she would have kept Maxence for what she knew Nash was gonna do to him. She knew it hurt. Oh did it hurt; what they were doing to him! They had only done it to her a few that she could remember. That inhuman method tended to destroy the brain and the memory often chose to forget what had ever happened. However, Rose was protected by the Wolf. Meaning none of their methods of torture had worked on her. Only the isolation had worked on her so far.

"Yes, I did. I being inside Rose causes her to have different enhanced senses. One of them being hearing. The yellow room is downstairs. In the hospital basement. They're using inhuman and forbidden methods down there. They shock you and electrocute you. They try to make you forget. I've been there before. A few times."

Rose swallowed hard and trembled just at the memories of it. She hugged her knees against her chest. She didn't want Maxence to forget, because her last chance of getting out of here would be ruined. And he was quite nice. A very gentle guy. He didn't deserve to suffer just because he was trying to help her. What if the chief nurse didn't allow him to come back? What if he didn't want to? If Nash managed to make him forget, Rose would have to act like she had only met him once again. She couldn't do that. The Wolf couldn't either.

They both knew the pain Maxence was gonna go through because they had experienced it. Since he didn't have a time entity to protect him, he wouldn't remember being here and he would never come back to help her so she would have to stay in that prison forever. She didn't want that to happen. She had waited for so long until someone showed up to really her. She wanted to get out of there. She had even tried to escape a few times. Anything.

If Nash didn't let Maxence back in to help her and treat her, Rose would end her life because she would lose the small hope she had left. The small hope that Maxence had managed to give her the very first day. She knew all the right places to puncture herself with a piece of glass. Maxence _couldn't_ forget. Rose hated that chief nurse and couldn't wait to get her revenge on her. If she ever did. But Maxence would come back, right?

Nash wouldn't make Rose's record disappear from Maxence's bag. She couldn't do that. The golden glow stayed strong in Rose's eyes, for the wolf was protecting Rose the best it could and not letting Liv see her on the verge of a breakdown. Though the Wolf felt like she was on the verge of a breakdown itself with everything that was happening. It was all overwhelming for the both of them. Even though time entities were supposed to be tough.

Liv had a lot to learn about the Wolf, and she was pretty interested in its abilities. The Wolf was powerful. She could feel it, and it obviously gave Rose some powers. Enhanced senses and God knew what else. Liv had heard the rumours about the Wolf being able to get into someone's mind, about being able to read thoughts. She hadn't believed it, but now that she was facing the Wolf, she had to admit that it could be true.

Her eyes grew big at the Wolf's explanations. That method had been forbidden centuries ago. They couldn't use it anymore because it wasn't working and it was destroying a patient's brain in no time if he was too receptive to the shocks. Some people were receptive. Others weren't. If that method was applied on Maxence, he could lose his memory, but he could also lose his mental health. Or worse, his life. A bloodcurdling scream suddenly resounded in the building. Liv froze.

"I'm not allowed to do that but…" she reeled off. "I'll keep his bag and notes. Hide them. If they ask for it, tell them I have it. I'm not gonna let them manipulate him that way. If he forgets because of the electroshocks, I'll be able to bring his memories back with his stuff, but you're gonna have to be strong, Miss Tyler. You're gonna promise me that you won't do anything wrong. We will get you out of here _alive_."

Another scream, just as bloodcurdling as the last one. Nash was torturing Maxence for sure. She could make him go insane. Rose flinched at the scream and looked at the door, tears in her eyes. She swallowed hard. This was no good.

"I will. I promise. I'll keep them safe somewhere in here. Just get them to me. Quickly. I know what the nurse has in mind. He might forget because of the electroshocks. You'll be able to help bring his memories back with his stuff. I can too. I can help gently. I promise I won't do anything wrong and I promise to be strong. As strong as I can be. I hope we can all get out of here alive." She flinched again at the scream and whimpered quietly. She closed her eyes for a moment and looked back at Liv. "Quickly. Get his bag and notes. Before the head nurse gets them."

Rose was holding her emotions back, but she wouldn't be able to do that for too long, knowing what Nash was making Maxence endure right now. It was her fault. She would never forgive herself for him being hurt because he had just wanted to help and treat her like a human.

Nash hadn't waited for them to realise what was going on. Once she was done giving her orders, she went straight to the yellow room. Maxence Spitz was gonna forget the last two days. He was gonna forget Rose Tyler and the Wolf – and the chief nurse would make sure that his notes would disappear as well as his memories. He was gonna forget even coming there in the first place. That way, he wouldn't be around anymore and she would be free to do her job the way she wanted. And Rose Tyler would forever be locked down in a cell like she deserved.

Nash entered the yellow room. There was no one around. Only Maxence, still out, firmly tied on a table. The nurse smirked and switched on a small machine. She got Maxence's temples and forehead wet and placed small electrodes on his wet skin.

"If you could actually remember, Mr Spitz, you would know that you hated this every time I did this to you." Nash pressed a button and a small electrical discharge passed from the machine to the electrodes on Maxence's head. It was powerful enough for him to have a start and to jerk out of his drugged sleep. "And I always loved hearing you scream."

She increased the power and pressed the button once again. The electrical discharge was more powerful now and Maxence was trying to free himself, to escape the pain, to get away from there, but that was useless. Nash was talking to him but he was perfectly unable to understand what she was saying. His ears were whistling too loud, leaving him deaf for the moment. What the hell was going on? What had he done to deserve that? Nash was increasing the power little by little and the pain of those discharges were unbearable for the poor human he was. So he screamed and screamed again at the top of his lungs.

He was out of breath and his head was pounding. He didn't know why Nash was doing this to him, he didn't even know who she was or where he was. He just knew that he was in pain, that he was gonna faint. His ears were whistling badly. The nurse was yelling at him and showing him a pic.

"I don't know…" he whimpered. "Please, I don't know."

The chief nurse smiled. It was done. She sent one last discharge in his brain, just for her own pleasure and laughed when he yelled, when he finally went unconscious. She untied him, brought him back upstairs and asked for help. She just pretended he had felt dizzy and that someone had to bring him back home.

Liv quickly gathered Maxence's notepad, notes and pen in his bag and put it on her shoulder. She picked up the cup of now cold soup and rushed outside the room as another scream resounded. She shivered. It was terrible and she hoped it wasn't Maxence they were torturing that way. She had hated the place almost immediately when she was transferred there, and if the yellow room was real, she would hate it even more. She was a good person. She couldn't get the point of hurting people to get something. Of hurting them just because they were 'inferior'.

Liv rushed to the nurses' quarters, hid Maxence's stuff in her locker and abandoned the cup on the table. She then ran downstairs until she reached the door to the basement. It was a restricted area but her access card worked and the door opened, allowing her into a gloomy corridor. The only touches of colours were the doors. There was a few of them. Liv found the yellow door and supposed it was the yellow room Rose had talked about. She rushed to it but it was empty and fully off. They were gone. They had made Maxence leave.

"Fuck!" she swore.

Who knew where they had taken him now? Had they taken him home? Or had they locked him down somewhere? The wiser thing was bringing him back home, and Liv really hoped that they had chosen that option, because if Maxence was still in there, who knew what they would do to him?

Maxence was quickly taken in charge by a driver. A nurse went with him on Nash's order. The driver brought him back home and the nurse just dragged him to his bed. She abandoned him there and left his keys on the table. She got back to the car and the driver drove her back to the psychiatric hospital. She left no clue. Maxence would be confused when he would wake up and he would have a hell of a headache but he would have absolutely no idea of what had happened.

In the meanwhile, Nash got back to Rose's room. She had to get the notes back and to make them disappear before anyone could take them and bring them to Maxence for him to remember that he was on Rose's case. But there were no notes left in the bathroom.

After Liv was gone, Rose had stayed in the shower, whimpering as the screams continued. She gripped her head and buried her face into her knees, remembering when she was tied up in there, with the nurse laughing at her pain. Tears rolled down her cheeks silently and she was still trembling. The withdrawal symptoms suddenly came back to her. Violently. She hurried to the toilet just in time to vomit more bile. She had been forgotten her hunger and now she felt even hungrier, but she didn't want to eat. She didn't feel like it. She didn't wanna eat until she knew Maxence was safe and away from Nash.

Rose hated Nash. She and the Wolf despised her. Whenever Rose would get out of here, she would get her revenge on her and make sure she got to rot in prison. She would make sure Nash would go through what she had to go through while she was her patient. Maybe she would understand how awful she had been. It would be useless to even beg for mercy. That was a word Nash didn't know, a word Rose would forget if the woman ever faced the torture she was making her patients endure.

Rose growled at the chief nurse when she entered the room. The golden glow quickly came back to her eyes. Rose crawled back in the shower and put herself in the furthest corner, furthest away from the woman. She didn't want anyone there but Maxence or Liv. She only trusted them around her. But unfortunately, both of them were away for now. She was alone to face Nash.

Nash looked around the room. She couldn't touch Rose now. She would immediately be suspected even if she could say that she had been attacked. Which was true in the end. She had been attacked by Rose earlier, and she had won. Maxence Spitz had forgotten it all about the last two days and he would never come back there. He would never find out the things they knew about him. He would never help Rose out of that prison, because mad girls like her were meant to be locked down here.

"Where is it?" the head nurse asked, her voice full of rage. "Where is his stuff?" She had to find it, she had to make it disappear. "You're never gonna see him again. He's never gonna come back. No one can save you now. You're stuck with us. Now, tell me. . ?"

Nash couldn't lay a finger on Rose, and that was frustrating her. She had to find another way. She couldn't take any superiority, couldn't feel protected anymore. Rose Tyler had to fear her and that was all.

While Nash was trying to get it from Rose, Liv was leaving the hospital with Maxence's stuff. She had pretended she was obeying the head nurse's orders, and had gotten his motorcycle helmet and keys back. Thankfully, she could drive it. Since she didn't know where he was living, she drove it to her home. She gathered his stuff in her flat and took the bus to go back to the hospital before Rose got in trouble with Nash. She would stay there all night to be sure, and she would look for Maxence on the next day.

Rose growled as she Nash was looking around the room. She wouldn't attack her. She would obey to Liv's orders – which sounded more like something she was asking her to do than actual orders. _Do not do anything wrong even if Nash is a freaking bitch_. She had to be good and she had to be strong.

If Rose had won earlier in a way, Nash had won in her own way too. That was the sad truth. She had made sure Maxence would forgot the last two days so he wouldn't come back and help his patient. However, Rose was thinking that he would remember them when he would come back to see her. Liv would help him remember.

Nash raised an eyebrow at the growl. It was pretty annoying that Rose had finally found people to believe her and to give her a reason to fight. She was rebelling against her and that wasn't a good thing. She had to find a way to break her again, to send her back to that cell. Now that Maxence wasn't around, it would be a bit easier, but Liv was another problem. Nash had thought that the latest member of her crew would run away as soon as she would see the Wolf but it wasn't what had happened. Instead, she had become 'friend' with the Wolf, and that wasn't a good thing because it made it stronger. Except the Wolf was already strong. It was stronger now though because Rose wanted to get out of that place so bad.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose replied calmly as Nash repeated her question.

"You know perfectly what I'm talking about. Everything was here. Tell me where you hid it."

"I haven't hidden anything. I know exactly what you're talking about. Even if I knew where it was, I wouldn't tell you."

The Wolf was glaring at Nash through Rose's golden eyes though. The nurse wouldn't find Maxence's stuff simply because it wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere in the building as a matter of fact. Her jaw clenched a bit at her words.

"Tell me," ordered Nash.

"Why are you looking for his stuff anyways?" asked Rose, picking at her pants. "It's not yours. You shouldn't touch it."

"That's none of your business. He's not coming back. It's not like he will need it anyway."

"He'll come back. I know he will. He'll be back tomorrow like his schedule said. I know what you did to him. But I don't know where his stuff is."

Rose shrugged. Nash would take it as a provocation and could get angry and violent so Rose was staying in the shower, in the furthest corner. The Wolf thought it pretty funny that Nash was so frustrated by the fact she couldn't touch Rose anymore now that she wasn't in the basement anymore. The forgotten patients were in the basement, and Rose wasn't a forgotten patient anymore. She was almost untouchable.

Nash slowly came into the shower, blocking the only issue. She knelt down and grabbed Rose's chin in her cold harsh hand. She smirked.

"No, dearie. He's not coming back for you. His brain burnt like a forgotten meal on the gas. It's gonna take him days to stop the confusion, and he will never, _never_ , remember you. You're done. He's done."

If she had created damages in his brain, that was for the best. He would wander around, probably unable to remember who he was or where he lived or what job he had.

Rose pushed Nash's cold hand away. She tried not to show how much she was disgusted by her touching her skin. Just the thought of it could make it sick. She slightly moved away from Nash as much as she could.

"Don't call me dearie, you suck up. I'll never be done. I'll get out of here. And when I do, you'll rot in hell and I'll make sure of it. He will remember me. You don't know what I'm capable of."

The Wolf growled and Rose's golden eyes glowed brighter. It could create damages in the chief nurse's brain with no problem. But it wouldn't. It couldn't do anything wrong for now. One wrong step and she would be back into that cell. She would get her revenge with time.

"I'll never give it to you. So stop asking," Rose hissed.

"I'm the chief here and I do whatever the hell I want. . ."

"She doesn't have it," suddenly intervened Liv's voice.

She was finally back. Rose almost sighed in relief. Nash would definitely not touch her at all now. Nash looked over at Liv, surprised by her sudden come back.

"I do have it, and I'm not giving it to you. I don't know what kind of fucked game you're playing in your hospital but it stops here. Get away from her."

"Who are you to give me orders?"

"No one. I'm just doing my job, and my job is to keep her safe from herself, and from others. My job is to take care of her and to call her therapist if she needs to speak to him. Whatever you've done to him won't work. Now get out of here."

Rose smirked a bit at Liv's words. She was just doing her job. So she couldn't get in trouble. She could get sacked for insubordination or something, but Nash wouldn't do so. She would make Liv yield to her way of working. She had the right to choose the soft or the hard way. The hard way would highly please Nash.

The chief nurse was raging. She could feel that Rose was playing a dangerous game she didn't like. She had become untouchable the minute Maxence Spitz had come around her. He was out of that game now, but that didn't change a thing. There was Liv, there still was the Wolf, and the Wolf was something powerful, something that couldn't be controlled even with time and medication. The Wolf was unbreakable, and it was keeping Rose safe, and now that it had some allies, there was no way it could be stopped.

"Don't play that game with me, Tyler. I know all your secrets now. You might trust that guy, Maxence Spitz, but his soul is much darker than yours. Oh, he doesn't remember a thing. I made sure he wouldn't. You think you're smart, you think you're protected, but that's a game you don't wanna play. Especially not with Maxence Spitz."

Those were the last words she said to Rose before leaving the room. She would find those notes without her help. She would destroy them and Maxence Spitz would never come back. It was for the better. She slammed the door shut. Liv sat down on the ground once she was gone for good.

Rose decided to stay quiet for now. That bitch would never find those notes. Rose would even make sure of it if she could. Despite the fact that she was stuck in that room. She flinched a bit as the door slammed shut and was internally relieved that Nash was gone.

"Are you alright?"

She wondered what the chief nurse words meant. Nash seemed to know more about the doctor Spitz than anyone else. Rose did wonder too but the theory she had in mind couldn't be possible.

 _He said he couldn't remember two years of his life. The Doctor looked like Maxence for a year before regenerating. Nash seemed to know a lot about the man. Maybe he has spent a year here, being forced to forget being the Doctor_ , thought the Wolf to itself.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"He isn't in the building anymore. They probably sent him back home. Which means he's safe for now."

Maxence probably had a family that would take care of him for the night, but Liv had to find him and to tell him that he had been manipulated and that he had to come back here and help Rose just like he had promised. She hoped he would be receptive and that he wouldn't throw her outside his home. If she ever found him.

"That's good. They must have taken him back home. He's got a girlfriend. She'll probably take care of him."

Rose hoped that Liv could find Maxence. She had to. Maxence was her only chance. She didn't want anyone taking that away from her. The golden glow softened in her eyes now that she was alone with Liv.

At least, Nash had learned the lesson. She hadn't attacked Rose. She had threatened her though and her words were frightening. What did all of this mean? And Rose also seemed to know a bit more about Maxence Spitz. He probably told her some personal things to earn her trust. That was the only explanation.

"He's in good hands for now. His stuff is too. I'll bring it back to him when I will have found his address. I'll bring him back here. But he has to know about the threat, about what has been done to him."

And she was afraid that he might not believe it, that he would choose to go back to his normal little life, away from that building. Liv wouldn't blame him, but he had a promise to keep.

"I think I know what the chief nurse knows about doctor Spitz," Rose murmured softly.

"What do you mean?"

Liv was curious now. Really curious. She ignored that Rose was just throwing theories based off of the few words she had seen on Maxence's skin – words Liv hadn't seen – and of the personal things he had told her. It was just a guess. It didn't mean it was true.

"I'm just guessing something. It doesn't mean it is right. I'd sound insane if I even said it out loud."

Rose and the Wolf could sense Liv's strong curiosity but they didn't want to tell it to Liv and then be wrong because it didn't seem too possible. But it could be. She would keep her assumptions and guesses to herself until she knew she was truly right. If she even was right at all.

Liv didn't add anything about Maxence. She was curious but she wouldn't know more today. She asked Rose if she needed anything. She would spend the rest of the day taking care of her and making sure she was safe. She would also make her researches to find Maxence Spitz.

"Not really. I don't think I'll be able to keep anything down. I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating. So, no, I don't need anything."

Rose would be thankful for Liv taking care of her correctly and without her being mean to her about it. She really hoped Liv would find where Maxence lived. The thought caused her to suddenly realise something.

"Doctor Spitz has my pills, Liv. The ones that are supposed to help with my withdrawal so I won't be so sick and I'll be able to sleep. Which means I won't have my next dose at dinner."

Boy she was gonna feel like hell tonight. She wasn't looking forward to that at all. Hopefully Maxence would come back on the next day. Rose liked his name a lot. Maxence. Really unique. She picked at her pants and watched Liv, chewing the inside of her cheek. The golden glow was completely gone from her eyes for now, meaning she was trusting Liv enough to let down her guard.

Rose and the Wolf hoped that Maxence was okay. They had a sort of bound with him. Like they had known each other before. It annoyed Rose that she couldn't write out her thoughts so her head wouldn't be so crammed with so many thoughts and memories, but the thinking and wondering did help her stay distracted from the pain that the Wolf caused. It didn't mean to cause pain, but it had grown weaker over the years of solitude and isolation. Now, it was a getting stronger again because people believed that it was there and that it wasn't evil. It had people on its side to get out of there. That was very reassuring. It reassured Rose too.

"Don't worry about the pills. We have other bottles of it in our pharmacy. I just have to pick up a new one."

Liv knew Maxence hadn't taken the pills on purpose. He had probably put them in his pocket to give them back to her later but since he had had some misadventures, he still had them on him. She would ask them to him when she would have found him.

"Alright. I wasn't sure. Thanks though. I'll appreciate them so I can sleep tonight."

"I'll bring you something light. You gotta eat something. It's easier to vomit when you have something in the stomach. It's just a matter of days. You'll be better soon enough."

"Alright. Thank you. Hopefully I get better soon."

Liv got up and promised to be back soon before leaving the room and locking it behind her.

Maxence was still out on his bed when Donna came home for lunchtime. She frowned deeply when she saw him totally dressed and laying on his stomach. She had seen it too many times before. She walked to him and made him roll on his back. No sign or scent of alcohol on him. Not even a scent of his damn cigarettes. He wasn't sleeping though and she knew it. She looked into his pockets and her heart stopped when she found the bottle with pills. What the hell had he done that morning? Why did he have those pills on him? Why did he have burns on his forehead and temples? She took off his jacket and noticed the blood on his jumper. She took it off too. Bandages. He had bandaged his hand and arm. That could only mean one thing. He had done that again. Donna dragged Maxence to the bathroom and placed him in the shower before turning on the cold water. It took a few seconds before Maxence jerked awake.

"Are you out of your mind?" he yelled, crawling out of the shower.

Maxence had such a terrible headache and felt like his head was gonna explode. His own voice was unbearable. Donna looked mad at him. It meant she was gonna scream and it wouldn't help with his headache. But he couldn't stop Donna whenever she got angry. She always had the last word.

"No! You're such a liar, Max! Why have you dived back into drugs?"

Maxence grabbed his head in his hands. She was speaking too loud for his head's liking like he had expected her to. He looked at his girlfriend, confused.

"I-I didn't! I swear!"

"Then, why do you have this?" She threw the small bottle of pills to him. "Why did I find you completely out on our bed?"

Maxence took the bottle and looked at the information on it. He had no idea of how he could have gotten that thing. But he hadn't taken any pill. He was sure of that. Was he? His memories were so confused. That headache was killing him.

"That's not mine."

Maxence sat up, trying to clear his mind, but everything seemed to be a mess up there. He didn't move from his sitting position for a while. He was feeling very bad and Donna yelling at him wasn't helping. Why did he have pills on him? Pills of a girl named Rose Tyler on it. He knew no one with that name. Why was his head about to explode? His arm and hand burning? His stomach grumbling dangerously?

"What do you remember, Max?"

Donna's voice was softer. There was something wrong, she could feel it. She didn't know what, but he had done something, and she was afraid that he might have dived back into drugs and alcohol. She had supported him through his studies to become a therapist, even though she didn't think it was a very good idea for him to go on that path. They had given him a new patient almost immediately but he hadn't wanted to talk about it the previous. Whoever it was, it had upset him deeply. Deeply enough to send him back into his favourite sins.

"The dinner with your family. The cinema. Some sex we had."

"That was Friday night."

"So?"

"Today is Tuesday. You don't remember anything from Friday to today?"

"Not a big deal."

"Max, you've forgotten four days!"

"Don't yell, please," he begged, closing his eyes tight because the light was increasing his headache.

"I yell if I want! You're selfish, Max! You only thought about yourself there. I'm calling your brother. Maybe he'll manage to bring you back to your senses."

Maxence didn't protest. That was useless. He would have a second sermon for something he hadn't done.

Rose sighed as Liv left the room. She scratched her hands as the withdrawal she had forgotten about started to kick back in. She stood up slowly and carefully walked to the bed. She was lightly stumbling because of the dizziness caused by so much sickness with an empty stomach. She landed on the bed gratefully and pressed her back against the wall. Maybe Liv could stay with her for a bit and they could talk or something. If Liv wasn't busy or anything. And only if she wouldn't get in trouble for it.

Rose needed something to distract her from the pain and from all the emotions running through her because of the stress from the past few days. She was worried about Maxence though. She knew what he was going through and how bad it was. How much it hurt. She wished she could lend him a friendly helping hand, but she couldn't. So, she scratched her hands harder and she was unaware of her jaw tightening. She wasn't the reason for why Maxence was the way he was right now. It was that bitch chief nurse. Nevertheless, Rose felt guilty for what had happened to Maxence. She felt like it was her fault in a way. The Wolf sensed Rose's sudden emotion change and lightly tapped on the golden barrier it had created to protect her mind.

" _Rose_ ," it murmured in her mind. " _It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. We can't control what happens. We wouldn't have been able to. Stay strong. Like Liv said. We're gonna get out of here. Alive. He'll be fine. We've gotta focus on us for now_."

The Wolf usually didn't talk to Rose too much, but it was a lot nicer than it used to be. It was reassuring in a way too. The Wolf was just trying to help the best it could.

Liv didn't have any other patient than Rose. When she had been assigned to her, she had been told that Rose Tyler was so terrible that she would take all her time and that she wouldn't be able to take care of other patients. The truth was, Rose Tyler wasn't that terrible and Liv was happy that she was her only patient because she would get to spend more time with Rose and help her through her withdrawal. She came back in the room with a cup of hot soup. The only thing people were eating when they were sick. She put it down on the bedside table and caught Rose's hands gently.

Rose looked at the door when Liv came back in and her stomach growled loudly at the smell of the hot soup. She would let it cool down a bit first before she ate it. She enjoyed soup so she wasn't complaining. She flinched lightly when Liv took her hands, still trying to get used to gentle, positive, and nice human contact.

"It's not your fault, okay? Whatever happened to the Doctor Spitz, it wasn't because of you. And I promise that I will find him, and bring him back here. I will help you, and he will too."

"I know it wasn't. It's just hard not to thank that though. I know he will help me. When he'll remembered." Rose exhaled softly and stroked Liv's knuckles briefly with her trembling thumbs. "He's the first therapist who's ever stayed past ten minutes into the first appointment. The first therapist who spoke up for me and said that I wasn't an animal. That I was a human and that I deserved better. He's the first one who's promised me so many things and he's actually kept those promises. The first one where the Wolf has been calm around. Just like you're the first nurse it has been calm around. It's hard not to blame myself."

Liv noticed that Rose flinched when she took her hands, but she made no sign of pushing her away so Liv didn't let go of her hands and quietly listened to her. She felt her stroking her knuckles but didn't mind. If that was helping her, she could do this as long as she wanted.

Just like Liv, Maxence Spitz was new around Rose Tyler. Liv had some experience with patients, but Maxence was only beginning in the job. But, at least, he wasn't a coward like all the other therapists who had run away in no time. Sometimes, some new blood was better than the old one. What they had learned was fresher in their brain.

Rose studied Liv's face, her eyebrows twitching lightly. The emotion and pain was hard to deal with alone, but Liv was the first one who reassured her that something wasn't her fault. She hadn't had that in years. She hadn't been reassured in years. She had really missed it.

"Yeah, he seems like a good therapist, a good man. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this."

"You and Doctor Spitz are the firsts who have reassured me that not everything is my fault," she mumbled while chewing the inside of her cheek.

Nash was the only one to blame for that. She was the one who had decided to go against Maxence and to make him forget everything. She was the only one to blame, but Liv was under her orders so she couldn't say much. She could do a lot without her superior knowing though.

"That's a lesson we all learn soon or later in life: not everything is our fault. And this is really not yours."

"I've heard it so much, I can't help but believe it. I've heard so many bad things about myself I can't help but believe them."

Liv felt concerned. She had heard the rumours going around in the building before she even was affected to Rose. Crazy mean rumours. Two weeks of it and she was tired of those lies. She wasn't the one the rumours were talking about. She wasn't the one who had heard them day after day. But she could understand. It was brainwashing. They were telling you day after day how terrible and mean and useless you were. At first, you tried to resist, but you ended up believing them. And that was the worst part of it all because when someone was convinced that he/she was useless and all, he/she had nothing left to lose and he/she chose to end his/her life. There was worse because someone was always watching over you so you had to live with the weight of those words, with the pain of those thoughts. That was terrible, and that was destroying a person's life slowly and surely. You couldn't die physically, but mentally, you were over and that was the worst death that could ever happen to someone.

Right now, Maxence wasn't in the position of doing anything. Donna had called his brother and Tenny had come over immediately. He had found Maxence on the bathroom's ground after he had been sick and brought him to his bed. He had examined the words, cleaned the wounds and bandaged it again. Now, he was looking into his eyes with a torch. Nothing seemed to be wrong except for the fact that he was totally disconnected and feeling sick and feverish.

"When did you start again, Max?" asked Tenny.

But Maxence didn't answer. It was useless. They thought they had their own answers and nothing he could say would change that. So, he just remained silent. Tenny did a blood test on him and forced him to use an alcohol test. Which was negative. He couldn't explain the burns on his head. He looked over at Donna.

"No sign of alcohol. I'm not sure about drugs."

"But why is he acting as if he was on drugs? He forgot four entire days, Tegan."

"He looked very confused to say the least. The only thing we can do now is cleaning his wounds four times a day until it's fully healed and let him rest. Maybe he'll talk later. You know how he is."

Tenny left the flat after he promised that he would call Donna when he would have the results of the blood test. He wouldn't say a thing about it to their mom. It would destroy her if Maxence had dived back in his sins.

While Liv was trying to reassure Rose, Maxence was still sat on his bed, silent, still, looking in the void. Donna was getting more and more worried about him. She called her work and told them that she wouldn't be able to come in the afternoon for personal reason. She couldn't leave Maxence alone. Not when he was like that. She helped him into a T-shirt and gently forced him to lie down. He rolled on his side and just looked at the wall once again. Donna lay down next to him and hugged him.

"Talk to me, Max. Please."

"I need a drink."

"You can't."

"I know.'

"What has happened to you?"

Maxence chose to remain silent. He didn't know. He really didn't know and that was confusing him, and frustrating him. And he couldn't drink to numb it all…


	8. Letters

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 8/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "That was the reason why she was keeping him away from Rose. He had too much power and Rose was too dangerous to be released from there. In her opinion. In Liv and Maxence's opinion, Rose was perfectly able to live outside that hospital. But it would take some time now that Nash had forced her into the condition she currently was in."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 8: LETTERS

It was easier to talk woman to woman sometimes, because they could understand some things better. That was how Rose felt while she was talking with Liv. The nurse was gentler than all the other nurses who were in charge of her before, and it felt really nice. If Rose hadn't been considered as crazy, if she hadn't been stuck in that hospital, she would have become friends with the woman for sure. But it was just a beautiful thought. The truth was there: Liv was her nurse and would never be anything else.

It was good to be able to talk to someone who could understand, in a way, what she was going through. However, Maxence did understand Rose and what she was saying, what she was dealing with and how she did deal with it. Rose was worried about him because she knew how bad Nash could be. She was sure that he was okay though, because he had his family. They would watch over him and take care of him.

"What's it like?" suddenly asked Rose. "What's it like to be outside of this place, able to roam wherever you want to and not be treated like some animal, some science experiment?"

She didn't remember what it was like to be outside, what it was like to feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your face. She hadn't felt any of that in years. At first, she had missed it. She had missed the feeling of liberty but she had quickly learned that she better shut up and not say a thing about her feelings. She had locked herself into silence and solitude. Until Maxence.

Liv shook her head lightly to get out of her thoughts just in time to hear Rose's questions. She was surprised at first, but after all the time Rose had spent locked down in that hospital, it wasn't a weird question at all. It was even normal to try and see if the world we had left behind years ago was still the same, if it still felt the same.

"I don't really know actually. I spend most of my time here and when I'm home, I only sleep. But it's a wrong season to be outside. Winter is coming. It's cold, windy and rainy. And people are awful. As if they have been raised by the head nurse," she joked lightly.

"Doesn't sound too new then," chuckled Rose. "Sounds the same in a way. There's always people who act like the head nurse."

"You know, the Doctor Spitz has all control on your case. He's the one taking the decisions for you since he has accepted your case. The chief nurse can't go against his decisions."

"I can tell she can't really go against his decisions because nothing really bad has happened with me yet."

That was the reason why she was keeping him away from Rose. He had too much power and Rose was too dangerous to be released from there. In her opinion. In Liv and Maxence's opinion, Rose was perfectly able to live outside that hospital. But it would take some time now that Nash had forced her into the condition she currently was in.

"I'm sure he will sign an authorisation for you to spend Christmas with your friends and family."

It would be just for a few days but Liv was sure that Maxence would do it, that he would sign that authorisation for her to go out of there even if it was for a few days. Rose's heart skipped a beat at Liv's last words. Spend Christmas with her family? She had forgotten what that was like. A small smile crossed her lips at the thought.

"I know you haven't seen them in a long time. You miss them, don't you? Your family."

"Of course I do. I miss them every day. I wonder about them all the time. I'd love to go see them. Even if it was just for a few days. It would be better than spending yet another Christmas alone without realizing it had passed."

Rose wouldn't be able to describe her happiness if she was able to see her family again, if Maxence did say yes and let her leave that place. But on the other hand, it was something that would panic her inside down. She hadn't come out of there for years. How would she handle such a sudden situation? How would she feel outside of there?

"I'll talk with him about this."

"Thank you. I won't be able to thank you enough."

Liv could tell that the idea was pleasing Rose, that she would be happy to spend Christmas with her family even if that was gonna be hard. She wondered why no one had come to see her. She assumed that it was because of the staff. They had probably kept everyone away from Rose to break her and keep her locked down in the most terrible part of the hospital. That was inhuman.

How could the idea not please her? Rose had been alone for years. She hadn't had any contact with any friends or family since the day she came there. The staff had kept everyone away from her and it did break her. It totally broke her. Then, she had been locked down in the most terrible part of the hospital. It was sad. But Liv and Maxence were giving her hope again.

Rose couldn't wait to get out of that place for just a few days and see her family for Christmas. She would sadly miss Clara's birthday again though. It was at the end of November. Another birthday passed. Rose had missed so many holidays, birthdays, and events. But she couldn't hope too much. Maybe Maxence would think she wasn't ready. Or maybe her family wouldn't want to see her. Or maybe they would be allowed to come there to celebrate with her. But that was another hope and she couldn't allow herself to hope that much. Not when she knew too well how things worked in that hospital.

"I have an idea. It could help you. I'm gonna spend a lot of time out there looking for doctor Spitz. If you want, I can bring you some paper and a pen. You could write some letters and I would bring them to your family."

No matter the reason they were there, all the patients had the right to have some contacts with their families. If they couldn't have any visit, they could at least write letters to them or call them. Rose Tyler had spent years here, and she had been alone all along. Liv couldn't accept that. She was gonna help her and the smile Rose gave her was enough to tell her she was doing it right.

"Yeah. I like that idea a lot. Thank you Miss."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm just doing my job, and my job is to help you. It is very important for patients in psychiatric institutes to keep some contacts with their families. Sometimes, we do forbid patients to have any visit but there are very good reasons to it. It's for people with severe mental pathologies. Something much worse than what they're saying you have."

Liv had seen lots of patients in her career. She was still young, but she had worked hard and some very difficult cases – much worse than Rose's case – had been given to her. She had helped those people the best she could, but the conditions weren't the same as they were there. That hospital was the worst she had ever worked for but she was planning on staying just to help Rose and some other patients against the other members of the staff.

"I can't help but thank you. Because no one else has done their job when it has come to me. They've always run away and abandoned me at the mention of my name. I know it's good for patients in mental institutes to keep in contact with their family. But I haven't had any contact at all with my family since the day my mum brought me here. I'm not bad like they say I am."

"Here's what we're gonna do. It's gonna be really simple. I brought some soup. I bought it in a small shop outside. That's the doctor Spitz who told me about the little shop. He said it would help you better than any other food." The hospital was the worst place to eat when you weren't feeling very good. A lot of people couldn't digest it. "You're gonna eat that soup. Even if it's just a little. Then, I'll go and pick some paper and pen for you to be able to write. I can stay with you all day if you want me to. And tomorrow, I'll bring those letters to your family."

Liv would make sure that Rose could keep her contact with her family. She knew she had been here for years – it was in her record – and Liv couldn't think of a valid reason for keeping her family away from her. That wouldn't happen anymore. Her family probably would be surprised to finally have some news from her, but it was good. They would know that she was okay, that she wasn't crazy. And maybe someday, they would come over to visit her. It would help her more than any therapist or nurse could.

Rose swallowed. It hurt to think of how worried her mother must be. Not hearing anything about her daughter, her only child, for years.

"Okay. I'll try and eat some soup. As long as it isn't from this hospital, I'll eat it. I can never digest this hospital's food. It always makes me sick. I'll eat as much of the soup as my stomach will allow. Then I'll write my letters."

Rose had a small smile on her lips. She couldn't wait to write to her family and let them know that she was okay. To let them know she wasn't crazy and that she was still alive. She couldn't imagine their surprise when they would get news from her. And if she could see her family soon, it would help her more than anything.

She slowly let go of Liv's hands and grabbed the cup of soup. She warmed her hands up more with the cup. She softly blew on it before taking the first sip. Her stomach growled loudly but thankfully for the food – actual food that tasted good – and not against it.

"Thanks for the food," she murmured between sips.

"Doctor Spitz specially asked me to bring you food from outside the hospital whenever I could. He said he would do it too. Well, before…" Before Nash came around and ruined him. "You just have to ask for it. If you want something special. From time to time. We're getting closer to Christmas. Maybe some chocolate or gingerbread. I could bring that to you."

It was sad to know that she probably hadn't seen it in years, that she hadn't celebrated Christmas or any kind of celebrations in years.

"I'm glad he specially asked you to bring me food from outside."

Most of all, Rose was really glad she didn't have to eat any of the bad food from here anymore. She ate her soup slowly, enjoying the taste and warmth of it in her throat and stomach. She hadn't felt that in years. And now that she remembered how good it felt, she knew how much she had missed it and how much she would miss it if it was the last time she could eat something so good.

"Alright. I'll keep that in mind. Gingerbread and chocolate? They'd let you bring that here for me?"

Her stomach growled at the thought. Rose had forgotten how gingerbread and chocolate tasted. She hadn't seen it in years. She hadn't seen any holiday or birthday nor had she celebrated Christmas or any kind of celebration in years. It was just the same thing every day. The same terrible routine that made her lost the track of time. She only found out they were in November when Maxence talked to her.

Liv smiled softly. "They can't tell me anything for bringing it there. I can tell that it's for me and bring some for you secretly."

Liv winked. She was joking a bit to relax. She would trick the staff for sure. Just for Rose to have some normal food again. Just for her to eat better things than the insipid food of the hospital. When it wasn't the spoiled food. Rose chuckled lightly.

"That's true."

"The doctor Spitz really cares about you. I've never seen any therapist fighting for someone like he did for you. Almost all the therapists detach themselves from their patients, and often forget that they're humans too. It's probably because he's new but he didn't put that barrier between the two of you."

Liv hoped she would find him quickly and that she would find a way to bring his memories back. She didn't know how. The electroshocks, if they were powerful enough, could create a lot of damages in a brain, and it sometimes was impossible to fix them. She ignored that the Wolf was powerful enough to fix some things when it came to minds, but would it be powerful enough to fix all the mess in Maxence's mind? No one knew how badly it had been damaged.

"I can tell he really cares about me. It means a lot to know that. I haven't had someone care for me for a long time. They always detach themselves and watch their patients like some science experiment. They just don't care. But I'm glad that doctor Spitz didn't put that barrier between himself and I."

"But that can be dangerous for him. Some doctors become so close to their patients that they forget that they're actually patients. I've read some stories about it. They surely are the best stories we can hear in a psychiatric unit though."

"I know it can be. But I don't think he's gonna become so close to me that he forgets I'm a patient. No one would want to be friend with me. Not with what I have. Doctor Spitz has a girlfriend anyway and he seems to be happy with her. I've read some stories about it too and I'm sure the best stories are the one about the psychiatric unit."

"Life can be really unpredictable sometimes. Who knows what can happen in advance? You shouldn't underestimate yourself that way. I'm sure there's more to you than what you're actually showing."

"I know it can be. I don't really know what can happen in advance. I can't help but underestimate myself, Liv. It's what I've been told the whole time I've been here. I'm too scared to show all of myself to someone. To anyone."

Liv smiled softly. She was curious to see how Maxence Spitz was gonna work with Rose Tyler in the future. They already seemed to have some strange connection together. Something that was left more to imagination than to real explanation. Maxence and Rose themselves probably didn't have the answers to that question.

Rose smiled a little back at Liv. She was scared that if she showed all of herself, they wouldn't believe it because of the Wolf inside her. She wasn't quite the same person anymore. It would take time for her to get back to her old self. If she ever would be able to be her old self again with the wolf inside her.

Liv understood Rose's position, but she knew there was more to her than she was showing, that she could show. She wouldn't be able to fully be herself until she left that place. Thankfully, she had two friends she could count on there, and soon, she would have news from her family and friends. That would be a great way of cheering her, of helping her to get better enough to get out of here. A part of her would still be scared, that was normal after all she had been through, but she wouldn't be alone. That was for the best.

A golden spark appeared in Rose's eyes as she slowly ate her soup. Thinking about it, the Wolf could bring Maxence's memories back. It was more than powerful enough to make Maxence remember Rose and everything he had forgotten. It could also do it very gently. No one knew how badly it had been damaged, but the Wolf could see the damages and fix them. It perhaps was the only way. Liv noticed the golden spark in Rose's eyes and knew that the Wolf was paying a close attention to their talk.

"I have an idea of how we can make doctor Spitz remember myself and you," Rose said gently to her. "The Wolf can help him remember. It can do it without hurting him. It's a gentle process and doesn't take too long. The Wolf sensed that you didn't know how to make him remember."

"I'm curious now. I indeed do not know how to make him remember. It will depend of the number of things he has forgotten. Also on how he's gonna take the fact that he doesn't know me. He probably won't believe me, and won't follow me there to meet you."

But if Liv managed to make him sign an authorisation, she could bring Rose to him. It was a dangerous thing to do because no one knew how Rose would react but Liv trusted her enough to try if things weren't working well with Maxence Spitz.

"It does depend on what he's forgotten. But the Wolf can help him remember without causing him any pain. I hope he believes you. You could always take his stuff to him when you do find him so he'll believe you."

Rose herself didn't even know how she would react if Liv did get Maxence to sign an authorization to get her to go to him instead of bringing him to the hospital – which was gonna hard since he wouldn't want to come there to see someone he had no memories of. She didn't know how she would react to the outside world. She would honestly be terrified if it ever happened.

It would be hard enough to ask Maxence Spitz to remember what he had forgotten. He probably wouldn't let anyone he didn't 'know' come near close on him. Especially not someone who could get into his mind with no problem.

"Or he could think I stole it from him. I don't know. I gotta find him first."

Or find someone who actually knew him and could tell her where she could find him so she could give him his stuff back and talk to him a bit to see where he was in his mind, to try and convince him that he had someone to help. Someone he had made promises to.

"I don't know what he'll think. Maybe he will think you stole it. I don't know. You'll have to find something. Otherwise I'm a lost cause."

"Maybe he'll remember. Maybe it didn't work and he will be back tomorrow. Who knows?"

But Liv knew there wasn't much chance for it to have happened. Rose didn't know if Liv could talk to him and convince him that he had someone to help. Someone he had made promises to.

"I'm positive it worked, Liv. It doesn't work on everyone. But it works on some people," she sighed.

Rose closed her eyes and put the cup aside. There was less than half of it left now.

"I'm gonna grab some papers and pens for you to write."

"Alright. I'll be waiting."

Whatever Maxence Spitz would say, Liv would bring him back to Rose. He had promises to honour. Rose wasn't a lost cause. She just needed to catch a hand, a hand that would never let her go. Liv knew that the electroshocks probably had worked on Maxence, but it was never a bad thing to have some hope. She got up and walked out of the room. She picked up papers and pens from the break troom and came back quickly.

Rose was sure that the letters would be great news for her family. She couldn't wait for them to know she was okay. She just needed to get better enough to get out of that hospital. She would push herself to her comfort limits and make herself uncomfortable if she needed. Anything to get her out of there sooner. She didn't want to be there forever. A part of her would still be scared. It was normal and she had every reason to be that way, but she wouldn't be alone. Not anymore. And that was good. She hated being alone. She was scared to be alone now, really.

Maxence Spitz had promises to keep. He needed to keep them. Rose felt like a lost cause because she had been told that she was one. But she just needed to catch a hand. One that wasn't willing to let go. She had Liv's hand already, but she had lost Maxence's and hopefully she would get it back.

Rose smiled when Liv came back soon after. That was a quick trip. When Maxence would come back, Rose would smile at him too. More than what she did before, because she would be so relieved to see him again.

"Here it is. You probably have a lot of things to them so I took a lot of paper. Everything is done with a computer now. Even a simple letter. It's kinda sad to know. Anyway." Liv put the papers and pen down on the bed. "Here's what I promised you."

Rose wasn't forced to write a letter to everyone. She could also draw or anything she wanted. Whatever she felt the best about. Liv wouldn't read her letters or watch what she drew. Rose could have some privacy to tell her family how she was going. It was anyone else business but Rose's, and Liv knew that the doctor Spitz would agree with that decision. Maybe they could write him a letter too. Liv was getting nervous at the idea that the only person able to help Rose wouldn't accept to come back because he couldn't remember a thing, but she kept that fear silent and invisible. She would start her researches tonight.

"Thank you. I do have a lot of things to say to them. So I'll need lots of paper. I used to have that option to write letters or do emails before I was put in here." Rose sighed. "Thanks for keeping your promise."

She smiled a bit and looked at Liv. She only had three letters to write. One to her mum, one to Mickey, and one to Clara. She would draw too. She would draw a lot. She missed drawing. She wouldn't expect the privacy Liv would give but she would be thankful of her for doing so. She wanted to keep what she was writing to her family and friends personal. She took the papers and pens and sat down at the small desk of the room slowly. She had never really paid much attention to the desk before.

Liv liked the facility of the technology but she still preferred the simplicity of some little things. Like writing a letter. It was much more intimate, much more personal than any email or text message. She picked a piece of paper and a pen and started scrawling on it while Rose was going to the desk to write her letters. It would keep her busy for a while.

Rose didn't really know what it was like to use technology. She had forgotten what it was like to use it and it probably had evolved so much that she would be totally lost if she had one of the new phones or computers by hand. She would look at it completely unaware of how to use it. So, it was better to use the old ways. It was nice to do something more intimate and write a letter or talk with someone. Not send a text message or an email. Writing a letter and talking with someone was more intimate and personal.

Rose thought for a moment for how she was going to start her letter. When she found the perfect way, she started writing slowly so she could practice her writing and make it so it was neat and readable. She had decided to start off with writing to her mother. She really missed her, and she made sure that she mentioned that in her letter. She told her how much she missed being outside and smelling all kinds of different things. How she missed her and her cuddles and kisses. She made sure she updated her mother on how she was and what therapist she had and how things were going with him. She wished she could see her mother sooner. She wished that they could let her see her friends and family so the stay here could be easier. The letter was pretty long in the end when she was done with it. It was four/five pages long. She had a lot of paper, thankfully. Liv was considerate in that area.

In her letter, she had included questions for her mother to answer and it was done, she folded it like it was supposed to be folded and sat it aside for Liv to take later. Rose then started her letter to Clara.

 _"_ _Dear Clara,_

 _God, I miss you so much! I wish I could be there with you. Happy early birthday! I wish I could be there to celebrate it with you. But I won't be there again this year. I'm so sorry. I hope that you're living a happy life. I hope you've found a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I just wanted you to know that I'm alive. They haven't allowed me to see any of my friends or family. I've missed you so much. I wanna hug you again and do all those traditions that we do on your birthday. I hope your job as a teacher is going well. I hope the kids are being good for you. Have you moved houses? Have you forgotten about me at all? Do you still keep in contact with my mum and Mickey? I have so many questions for you. But no answers. Like I've told my mum, I might be able to come home for Christmas. My new therapist just has to sign a few papers for it. My new therapist is pretty hot and very nice. He looks exactly like the Doctor. Which is bizarre and very disturbing to me. It hurts to be working with that man who looks so much like the man I've loved and lost, but he helps me very well. He's a good guy and he's really willing to help me. He's the first to have stayed with me and helped me when everyone else had run away. I hope he'll keep all the promises he did to me. If he didn't, that would completely destroy me and I would be lost for sure."_

That was part of what Rose said in the letter she was writing to her best friend, making sure she wrote slow so it was nice and clear to read. She hadn't written in a while and it felt as weird as hard to write again. But it felt good too. Writing to her family gave her a bit more hope. Something she hadn't had anymore before she met Maxence.

While Rose was re-establishing contacts, Donna was still laid in bed with Maxence. He was still looking at the void and hadn't moved at all. He didn't even react when her phone rang. She picked it up. It was Tenny. He was calling to tell her about the blood test he had done earlier. The results were clear: Maxence's blood was showing traces of benzodiazepine, a strong sedative he couldn't have had without a prescription. Tenny was doubting that Maxence had taken that thing voluntarily, but knew that the next days were gonna be really difficult for him. Someone would have to stay around and make sure he wouldn't dive back into the circle of drugs because someone had made a mistake. Donna thanked him and put the phone away after the call ended. She hugged Maxence again.

"What has happened to you this morning, Max?" she asked softly.

But she wouldn't have any answer, because he had absolutely no idea of what had happened to him. He just knew that he had a hell of a headache and that he couldn't even take aspirin to make it pass. No matter how hard she was trying to talk with him, nothing worked. He was remaining desperately silent or only pronouncing short words to show her that he was listening. He wanted a cigarette but didn't know where they were, where he had put it last time he smoked one. His mind was running slow and his thoughts were full of knots. Trying to unknot everything was increasing his headache so he stopped trying. Anyway, every time he was trying to remember he was hitting a damn void. His mind was a holey cheese. There were memories and there were voids. And the voids were as fascinating as disturbing. They were full of nothingness and so was his life right now. He didn't even know what he was doing, where he was going. He was swimming into the deepest of voids.

"I gotta take care of your bandages."

Donna kissed his head and got up. She picked all the things she needed in the bathroom and came back to him. He sat up as she asked him to and barely watched her while she cleaned the wounds. He knew the question was coming. It always came whenever the words appeared on his skin.

"What is the meaning of those words?"

For Donna, there probably was a reason why Maxence was carving those words on his skin, but for him, those words were only causing pain and they had no meaning at all. He really didn't know what it could mean or why he had them on his skin. That was a complete mystery.

"I don't know," he muttered.

"Why do you do that to yourself?"

"I don't."

Maxence was so tired of explaining his family that the words appeared on their own. The '5' on his hand was new though. He didn't remember that one forming. Soon as Donna was done with his bandages, he lay back down and closed his eyes, trying to make the pain in his head stop.

Donna looked at him sadly. She hated seeing him so off, so disturbed. She couldn't help him. It wasn't the first time that it happened. When they had first met, he was lovely, always smiling and they could talk of everything for hours. With time, he had started to confine in some things to her, but there was a period of his life that he had no memories of and every time he was trying to remember, he ended up in that state. No one knew what had caused him to forget two years of his life. Two years that he never had had any remembrance even with the time passing by. And now it was happening again. Four days. Four days of his life had been totally erased from his memory, and he had no idea of what could have happened in those four days. Donna cupped his cheek and gently stroked it.

"You're not alone, Max. I was with you this time. I can tell you what has happened in those four days."

But she hadn't been there for his first appointment with his first patient. She didn't even know his/her name or the building he had gone to. She couldn't help him there. She thought in horror that if he couldn't remember those four days, he couldn't remember that he had a patient to take care of, and he obviously couldn't take care of that patient in the condition he was in. She had to let them know about the situation – well, lie a bit about it – but how would she do such a thing when she didn't even know where he was working and who was his boss in the matter? Maxence had said nothing to her. She would have to search in his bag, in his records. She didn't like it, but she wouldn't have a choice.

Rose didn't like seeing people so miserable. She enjoyed helping people and making them happy and healthy again. Of course, it was harder to earn her trust now than it was back then. That place had changed her a lot. She was quieter. She had kinda lost her bubbliness. She was surprised to even remember how to write. But that was a habit that forever stayed apparently. There had been a time in here that Rose had gone completely silent for a year. A whole entire year. She never spoke. She just let out sounds of pain.

There were certain little things that she couldn't remember because of the electrocution she had been through before Nash realised that it was useless on her. The Wolf had always healed the burn marks on her head and protected her mind. She wouldn't know what to show if they did file a lawsuit against that place. Or when they would file a lawsuit against that place. The Wolf would have to reverse what healing it had done to show what had happened. That was all Rose could think of. Maybe they could find a different way though.

Those were her thoughts as she was writing her letter to Clara. There was a lot of things she had to say to her best friend and she couldn't say it all in her letter. When it was over, it was around four/five pages just like the first one had been. She signed it, folded it, and placed it with her mother's letter before she wrote her last letter, to Mickey.

Her hand was incredibly sore from all the sudden writing she was doing. She hadn't written in years. She had a lot of muscles and other things to strengthen. She had a lot of work to do in general actually. She didn't know how she would be when she got to leave that place permanently. She was already good enough to leave in her opinion. But she was just scared and didn't trust many people.

At some point, Maxence ended up falling into a light sleep. He hoped it would help his headache to go away. Donna softly kissed his head and tucked the covers around him. She looked around but didn't find any of his usual stuff. It was as if someone had come in there while he was sleeping and had taken his bag with his ID, keys, and professional papers. Or he had forgotten them somewhere. Donna wouldn't be surprised. Maxence tended to be easily distracted sometimes and forgot his stuff everywhere. That was the most plausible possibility knowing him. Someone would find his stuff and call or bring it back to them. It was to hope. But for now, that was quite worrying. What if he had been attacked and the shock made him forget it all? No, he would be covered in bruises. Maxence wasn't much of a fighter. He could defend himself, but he often chose not to fight back and to wait until his attacker was done.

Donna ran a hand through her hair. That was quite a mystery, and she hated it as much as she would love to see it resolved. She decided to start cooking the dinner while Maxence was sleeping. He usually wasn't hungry when he was acting that way, but he had to eat. She would force him to if needed. She had to pull him out of his state too. Which would be more difficult.

Rose finished her letter to Mickey and folded it up before placing it with the other two. She looked at Liv briefly and started to sketch different things on the paper she had left. She hoped Maxence was okay. She wished she could help him remember, but she couldn't help him right now. Not while she was there and he wasn't. There had to be a way to get a hold of them. She suddenly had an idea. She stopped her Dalek sketch and looked at Liv.

"Liv, was Doctor Spitz's phone in his bag?" she asked quietly, playing when the pen.

Maybe Liv could call someone close to Maxence and explain them what had happened. Maybe she could even have Rose explain. She wanted to help Maxence in any way she could. If his family would listen. If Maxence would listen. Rose chewed her lip and continued her drawing of the Dalek while she waited for a reply. She wanted to help Maxence like he was helping her. She knew Liv wanted to help too. But she wasn't sure what to do or how to help in that situation. She was just thinking of ideas and hopefully that one was right. Hopefully his phone was in his bag. She hoped that his family could pull him a bit out of his state. She hoped that he would be okay even though he couldn't remember certain things. She was hoping a lot of things. Things would be alright in the end though. It had to be okay.

Liv raised her head from her scrawling and looked over at Rose. It took her a few seconds to remember what was in Maxence's stuff. A phone. Obviously, he had had a phone when he came over. Why hadn't she thought about it earlier?

"I picked it up at the nurses' office. It was off. Out of battery. I gotta charge it up before using it. But that's a really great idea. I didn't think about it."

"Okay. Keep it safe. And thank you. I'd been thinking about it for a bit. Figured it was a great idea."

Once the phone would have enough battery, she would look into it and find a number to call. But she would have to unlock it, and sometimes pin codes or simple codes weren't easy to find, that would be her only problem with that phone. She would take care of it in time.

"Everything's safe. No one can find it. And no one will until I bring it back to him."

They would have to search through all her flat to find it. The motorbike was quite easy to find. She had parked it in the small courtyard of her building and hoped no one would have the bad idea of stealing it or breaking it. She supposed that Maxence liked his motorcycle and he most likely wanted to get it back in one piece.

"Good, good. Thanks for keeping his things safe. I'm sure he will appreciate it. Hopefully you can convince him to come back and help me."

"I must have a charger at home that fits his phone. I'll try later. I'll tell you if I managed to call someone."

"Thanks. Good luck with finding someone to call."

"That's the least I can do. He seems to be the only good people around here. It would be really bad to have him being taken away from here. I'll do my best to bring him back."

That was a promise, and she would keep her word. She would bring Maxence Spitz back there for him to keep his own words. She would do everything she would have to to bring him back. It would be easy to find someone to call once the phone would be on. She got up and walked to Rose slowly.

"Mmhm. He is the only good person around here. It really would be bad to have him taken from here. Do your best to bring him back."

Rose wanted Liv to keep her promise. She needed her to. Otherwise Rose Tyler would be a lost cause and she would spend the rest of her life in there.

"Are you done with the letters?" Her eyes fell on the drawing. "This is… This is wonderful."

Liv didn't know what Rose had drawn because she didn't know anything about the Daleks or the Doctor, but she loved the drawing. It was really amazing. She couldn't draw so well. Actually, she couldn't draw at all. She was a complete zero at drawing.

"That's quite a talent you have there," she added.

"Yes. I'm done with the letters," she replied, blushing a bit at the compliment about the drawing. "Thank you. Helps me stay distracted. I've always enjoyed drawing."

She smiled a bit. She was really glad Liv loved her drawing so much even though she didn't know what it was. She would have to tell Maxence and Liv about the adventures and different stories she had experienced with the doctor. So, they would understand her drawings and other things better and how the Wolf got stuck in her mind.

Liv didn't take the letters yet. She just looked at the drawing. It was too bad that such a talent was stuck in such a terrible place where it couldn't be expressed.

"Does it have a name, a title or something? Or did you just invent it?"

She was assuming that it was Rose's way of dealing with things. Now that she could actually express her thoughts without talking, maybe she was spreading them out on the paper, maybe there was a message behind the drawings. But that wasn't Liv's job to find the message.

"It's called a Dalek. It's an evil alien that is real. Very real. I didn't make it up."

"A Dalek? It doesn't seem much evil."

The humans didn't either, and they were probably the evilest people in the universe. Liv had never seen a Dalek and didn't know what it really was, how dangerous it really was. She didn't know that Daleks were the reason why Rose had lost her Doctor, that she had saved him from them and caused her to be there. She gently put a hand on Rose's shoulder.

"It is. Believe me. I'll tell you a few stories about it sometime. Maybe you can hang around during a session once and I can tell you and doctor Spitz about them."

Rose swallowed. That was how she had lost her Doctor. The Daleks. They had taken him away from her so brutally. They had taken him and Rose saved him. But they still took him in a way. They were truly dangerous. But no one knew that. She gently put her hand on Liv's.

"I'll make sure to bring you papers and pens every day then."

Rose smiled some more. "Really? Thank you."

"Art is a way to free a mind from its troubles. If that's helping, I will do it every day until you're out of here."

"Yes, it is a way to free the mind. A very good way. It helps a lot. Helps me relax and stay distracted from the pain."

Liv used to work into a psychiatric institute where arts were used to help patients with their therapy. Maybe she could use the method here, with Rose. As long as they would be able to at least…


	9. Search

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 9/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Rose studied her nurse's face briefly. Liv was a beautiful young woman. The Wolf could feel that she had questions. They were swirling in her mind, burning her lips, but she had the respect not to ask them. Not yet. It wasn't the right time. Those questions would have to wait."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 9: SEARCH

Liv was staring at the drawing, completely fascinated by the work that had been done there. She observed every line of every detail. The drawing was perfect. It deserved its spot in galleries more than some other works that looked like nothing and were sold for millions if not more. The world of art was something complicated and weird but someone with such a talent like Rose could be a part of it.

"I never got to tell Doctor Spitz about Daleks. I'll get to tell him the stories and things though when he comes back."

Rose would like to be able to express her feelings and thoughts without talking. But she enjoyed talking with the good people, with the people listening. There wasn't any particular message behind the drawing though. She just loved to draw and it really would help her if she could do it every day. She wanted to do it for as long as she could.

"You'll get to tell him later."

"Mmhm."

Maxence would listen. He had seemed pretty curious about everything she told him already. But he had probably forgotten everything she had said to him by now. Liv would listen to her if Rose trusted her enough to talk to her about the things she wanted. She would not judge. She just smiled softly and looked at her watch.

"Do you want a dinner or do you just want some more soup? I'll go get whatever you'll choose."

"I'll take a smaller cup of soup please."

Rose studied her nurse's face briefly. Liv was a beautiful young woman. The Wolf could feel that she had questions. They were swirling in her mind, burning her lips, but she had the respect not to ask them. Not yet. It wasn't the right time. Those questions would have to wait.

Liv picked up the letters and made them disappear in a pocket of her nurse outfit so no one would see them. She also picked up the cup of soup that was cold now. She left the pens and papers to Rose for her to keep drawing or writing if she felt the need to. She wasn't allowed to do so but she knew that there wasn't much risk to leave them to Rose. If anything happened she would take the full responsibility of it though. She would probably get sacked and crossed off the job, but when you were working in such a place with such terrible people, you were losing your faith in your job. She wouldn't mind being sacked from here. She would be annoyed for the patients though. She was already sorry for them, because they were stuck there with people who just didn't care.

"I'll be back in a few."

"Okay. I'll be here."

Liv left the room and locked the door behind her. She walked to the nurses' break room where her locker was and put the letters in her purse with the rest of her stuff. No one would go and search her stuff so the letters were safe there. Then, she put the cup of cold soup in the kitchen and went to the small shop outside the hospital. She ordered a small cup of soup and walked back to the hospital. She went into the kitchen and reheated the cup of soup. She would drink it so it wouldn't go to waste. She picked up Rose's meds and brought the two cups of soup to her room.

Rose wasn't gonna do anything bad with the pens and paper. She wouldn't misbehave. She would only write and draw. That was all. She wouldn't let Liv get sacked. If Liv got sacked, Rose would be in trouble for sure. She wouldn't have anyone to help her get out of here.

Rose went back to her Dalek's drawing and finished it. She started on another drawing of her and the Doctor from the day she had lost him when Liv walked back in. Rose smiled a little at her and put the pens and paper aside.

"Here's the small cup of soup you've asked for."

"Thank you."

She put it down on the desk with the pill Rose had to take. Rose put the pill in her mouth and swallowed it with a mouthful of soup. She sighed at the taste. It was really good. Just like the first cup was.

"Mm…" she mumbled and licked her lips briefly.

Liv noticed the drawing on the desk, but didn't say a thing about the fact it was representing the doctor Spitz and Rose. She didn't know about the Doctor, about the fact Maxence was his perfect double. So, she just assumed that Rose was drawing the things she knew. Her therapist and herself. A Dalek, an alien that seemed to have a great responsibility in her admission there.

Rose swallowed a couple more sips of soup to make sure the pill was down. She noticed Liv's eyes flicker to the drawing. She drank her soup quietly and glanced at her drawing again before looking back at Liv. She knew a lot of things. Things people wouldn't believe. Things that were so amazing and so fascinating she wished she could see them again.

"It's not Doctor Spitz. I'll explain who it is if needed."

"Whoever it is, he looks a lot like doctor Spitz. He maybe has a twin somewhere."

"He used to. That man is gone unfortunately. Regenerated into another man."

Once again, Liv didn't get the meaning of Rose's words, but she didn't ask. Her tone and reaction were enough to tell her that that man had counted a lot for Rose, and that he wasn't there anymore. She wondered what had happened. Rose said he had regenerated into another man. It wasn't very clear. It could mean anything, and nothing. It could mean that the man she used to know and to care about was dead. Or that he changed into someone else after an accident or something. Liv was thinking rationally. She couldn't think of all the things Rose had seen because she didn't know that they were existing.

"It's confusing for you, I know"

Rose could sense it wasn't clear to Liv. She would explain more another day. When she would be ready.

"Why did you choose this career?" Rose suddenly asked to change the subject.

Liv drank a mouthful of her soup. She was glad that Rose was changing the subject because she was starting to feel as uncomfortable as confused. That new subject was as hard for her as talking about the Doctor was for Rose though.

"Oh, that's kind of a family thing actually," Liv lied. "We're all working in the medicine area. I chose the psychiatry, because I find people's minds really fascinating."

There was always a mystery to solve behind a patient case. Especially Rose's. There was always a person to learn to know behind a patient. That was it. That fascination, that desire of being close to the people she was helping was what had made Liv chose that career instead of being a simple doctor. Rose would have chosen that career for the same reason. Being a simple doctor wouldn't have been enough for her either.

"I see. Medical families. Love those sometimes. I've always found human minds to be interesting too."

Liv took small sips of soup. She hadn't eaten much today because she had been around Rose to make sure she was safe and feeling alright. It was good to finally swallow something and her stomach was thanking her for that food. She sighed contently. She shrugged lightly and took another couple of sips of soup.

"Medical families aren't that great actually. I didn't get to spend much time with my parents and siblings because they were always working, and when I got to spend some time with them for the holidays, they often were called for emergencies. I didn't understand it when I was little, but now I got it. And I chose the same path. Helping people is a family business in my case. We always put the others before ourselves."

That was a lie she had repeated again and again over the years. The only answer she gave about her family to hide the truth. She was almost believing that lie now. It was for the better. No one needed to know. Now, her life was all about the people she was helping. Her patients were all she had and she would always make them her first priority. She could tell that doctor Spitz was the same. According to Rose's words, he had a girlfriend, and yet, when Liv had called him in the morning, he had let everything down and had come there immediately. Some therapists were as involved as Maxence was, but there weren't abundant. And that was too bad. The world, the people, needed guys like Maxence Spitz.

Rose frowned a little. Something felt wrong in Liv's words as if it was something she had learned by heart to be able to recite later. But whether it was true or not, Liv's story was still sad. Rose decided to play the game though. Liv's life wasn't her business.

"I'm sorry that you didn't get to see your family much. But it's good to have someone with medical experience always around. At least you got to see them on holidays sometimes. Even if they were called to help with an emergency. Be careful with putting others before yourself. Make sure you still take care of yourself."

"I'm taking care of myself every day, soon as I'm out of work. But if you call in the middle of the night or during a rest day, I'll come immediately."

"Good. Take good care of yourself. I'll call if I need you. Thank you."

Liv left soon after the dinner. She left the papers and pens to Rose, knowing that she wouldn't do anything stupid with them. She trusted her not to. She came back home, took a shower and fell asleep immediately after. She didn't even have the time to plug in Maxence's phone for it to charge up because of how tired she was. She would do it in the morning.

Rose said goodbye to Liv when she left. She was thankful for the pens and papers and for Liv's trust with them. She wouldn't do anything wrong with them. Actually, she focused on her drawing as long as she could throughout the night before she fell asleep at the desk. She woke up later in the night from a nightmare, her face wet with tears. She went to her bed and cried herself to sleep, which didn't take long, and the Wolf watched over her quietly while she slept soundly.

She slept that way for the rest of the night and woke up early the next morning. She had a migraine. It was from the pain the Wolf couldn't help but cause Rose and from all the crying. She rubbed her temples to ease the pain and chewed her lip. She then rubbed her eyes and walked back to the desk. She kept wrapping the blanket around herself because she was cold and felt sick – because of the withdrawal obviously. She finished her drawing of the Doctor and herself to keep her mind busy.

She didn't know that Liv wasn't working that morning and didn't know what to expect from the nurse that was gonna serve her breakfast. Breakfast she wouldn't eat because she knew it wasn't gonna be something good. She could accept food from Maxence and Liv because she trusted them just a little bit but she couldn't accept it from any of the other bitches working there. Should she be thinking about hiding the stuff Liv had given her so it wouldn't be taken from her? She was just preparing herself. Her sleepy self. She felt a little groggy and was hoping it would pass because if one of the bitches was coming to bother her, she wouldn't be able to defend herself.

Rose had just started a new drawing when she heard the door being unlocked but she didn't move and didn't stop drawing. The new nurse walked in the room with her breakfast. It didn't look appetizing much at all. Just like always in that hospital. None of the food ever looked appetizing there. And, of course, she got a mean nurse again. Alex was her name. She tossed the breakfast lightly on the desk and grabbed the pens and papers.

"Who gave you these?" she barked at the patient.

"I found them," Rose lied after a minute, but her voice was convincing.

"Found them where?"

"Someone dropped them in my room when they left yesterday."

Rose shrugged. Alex tossed the pens and papers back on the desk. It was obvious that she didn't believe Rose and Rose was afraid of what was gonna happen now. She always got punished for whatever she was doing but lying was one of the worst things there. They could throw her back into the cell and she really, really didn't want to go back there.

"Mm," Alex said coldly.

Alex grabbed the drawings and ripped one of them up. She enjoyed the look of pain in Rose's eyes as she did so and threw the pieces of paper in her face, half tempted to shove a couple in her mouth.

"Enjoy your breakfast you dog."

Alex left the room and shut the door behind her, making sure it was locked. Rose sniffled and looked at the pieces of her ripped drawing. Her lip was quivering as she picked all the pieces up and put them back on the desk. She managed to put them back together so the drawing was full again. Full, but still ripped. The reflection of her life without the Doctor. He was still there, in her mind, but that was all. Because he was gone. Because he had left her. Because he died for her.

The golden spark appeared in her eyes at the drawing. It would be easy to fix the drawing. Just some tape. But Rose couldn't be fixed. She was a whole, but she still was broken. Just a light blow on her and she would fall apart. She needed her Doctor to come back. She needed him to fix her. A couple tears rolled down on her cheeks as she looked at the torn apart picture of her and him she had drawn. She looked at the food and sniffed it lightly. It didn't smell right and it didn't look good so she would just suffer and wait until Liv came back.

The golden spark never left her eyes. The Wolf couldn't go back into a corner after what had just happened. Rose sniffled, moved everything aside carefully and curled up on the chair the best she could. She pulled the blanket over her and cried quietly. It was just a drawing. She knew that. But it was more than just a drawing to her. It meant something. It was all she had left of the Doctor. The man who had showed her a better way of living her life. The man who had told her jokes about Barcelona and the dogs with no nose. The man who had kicked her out shortly after his regeneration. Now, she just had memories and a broken heart.

If he could see her life now. Stuck in there with people who hated and feared her. He would have ripped them all into pieces if he had been a witness of her life. He used to be so protective of her. He would never have let her face it all by herself, and the nurses wouldn't have been so mean to her. Hopefully, Rose wouldn't have to see that mean nurse again. Alex. She wouldn't forget her face. She sniffled and wiped her face with her hands, gripping the blanket. Her head pounded from the anger of the Wolf. But it had to behave. Even if that wasn't easy.

Liv slept deeply all the night but a thought forced her to wake up in the early morning: the phone. She got up quickly, found a charger and connected Maxence's phone to it. She had a small smile when the phone displayed the image of the battery charging up. In a few hours, she would try and turn it on. But for now, she got back to bed. She wasn't working that morning, and could get some more sleep before she got back to the psychiatric hospital. She hoped that the nurse that would replace her that morning would be nice to Rose and wouldn't treat her like shit, like the others had done until now. That was her last conscious thought before she fell asleep again. She was really exhausted and needed that sleep, but she was also worried for Rose and wondering what she would tell to the Doctor Spitz when she would have found him. She wasn't far from finding him thanks to the phone. She hadn't looked into the bag because it wasn't her stuff but maybe she could find an ID or something with his address on it. That's what she would do before heading back to work. Try to find Maxence Spitz, and give the letters to Rose's family.

Liv woke up quite late in the morning. She finally felt fully rested. She lazily stretched her body and got up. She ate a full breakfast and took a long shower before putting on a clean nurse outfit. She was spending most of her days in that outfit but that didn't matter much to her as long as she was helping people. When she was ready, she did some cleaning, ventilated the flat and picked up the fully charged phone. She turned it on, trying the simplest pin codes she had in mind. Sometimes people just didn't bother changing the pin code of their phones and just kept the '0000' one. Maxence Spitz was one of those people. She smiled at how easy it had been to unlock the phone but before she could do anything else, the phone started ringing and displaying a lot of notifications. Most of them came from the apps he had on his phone, but there were also missed calls, text messages and mails.

She pressed the contacts icon and looked through his list of contacts to see if she could find someone to call. She tried a few phone numbers but no one actually answered so she just left messages on the voicemail saying that she was a colleague of the Doctor Spitz, that she had found his phone, ID papers and motorcycle and that she was looking for him to give it all back. She put the phone down and grabbed the bag. She looked into it and found an ID card with an address on it. She noted it and gathered Maxence's stuff and Rose's letters in a backpack. She closed all the windows of her flat and left it. Her first stop was the Powell Estate. She put the letters in Jackie's letterbox and got to the address she found on Maxence's ID card. Unfortunately, he wasn't living here anymore.

Liv stopped for a moment and looked at the phone. No one had called back yet. She looked into Maxence's bag again and looked at his ID papers. None of the addresses was the same. Who could know what the good one was? She would have to try them all to find him. If one of those address was good! If they were all wrong, because he hadn't thought about changing his address, she wouldn't find him so easily. She would have to tell him that it was important to have the right address on his ID papers when she would find him. Right now, she didn't have the time to check all the addresses so she just stopped her researches for now and went to the psychiatric hospital she was working in. On the road, she made a stop by a fast food and bought some food for her, and some for Rose too. It wasn't very healthy, but a good fast food from time to time was always better than hospital food all the time.

She went to the building and put her stuff in her locker. She locked it, picked up the keys to Rose's room and walked straight to it with the food. She first knocked on the door before she unlocked it. She walked in the room and closed the door behind her. She frowned when she saw Rose all curled up on the chair. She put the food down on the bed and walked to Rose. At least, she had had a breakfast that morning. Even if she hadn't touched it. Liv had thought that they wouldn't even try to give her food. She gently and slowly put a hand on Rose's shoulder.

"Miss Tyler?" she called out quietly. "What happened?"

It was useless to ask her if she was okay, because she was obviously not okay. Her voice was quiet, not to scare Rose and she noticed that her eyes were more golden than yesterday. The Wolf was more present. It was protecting Rose, but Liv could sense its rage in the air. Something had happened. It was obvious.

Rose flinched as she heard the door unlock again and curled up tighter on the chair. She whimpered quietly. Rose hadn't touched her food at all. She hadn't wanted to. She had been scared to really. It didn't even look edible. So, she was hungry, and in pain. Psychologically and physically. She flinched a little at her touch and sniffled.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," promised Liv when she felt Rose flinch.

Her patient looked good yesterday when she had left but the nurse replacing her had undone all her work, and caused Rose to be in that condition.

"The nurse ripped my drawing up and threw it in my face. She threw my food on the desk and called me a dog."

Rose began crying again and curled up tighter on the chair, hurting herself a bit more. How could she be okay after that? That nurse had really gotten close to Rose and it made her nervous.

Of course they would treat her like they had always done. Bad. Really bad. Liv gently wrapped her arms around Rose and pulled her into her gentle and not very tight hug.

"Shh," she told her quietly. "It's okay now. I'm here. She won't come again."

"I know. It's a normal reaction. Sorry."

Liv was talking to Rose like she would talk to a child who would just have woken up from a nightmare. Whoever the nurse was, she hadn't respected the orders that had been given by the Doctor Spitz: no hospital food for Rose, and be as gentle as possible with her. She wasn't a dog. She was just a human who had seen and handled too many things. She needed the gentleness, not that obvious hate and bad treatments they were giving her.

"She was mad that I had the pens and paper."

The rage Liv could feel was from the Wolf. It had every reason to be angry and protective. That nurse had been a bitch and now Rose's drawing was ruined. Rose sniffled and curled up in Liv's arms. Liv wrapped her arms around her while Rose wrapped an arm around her slowly and wiped her tears with her other hand.

Rose didn't want the mean nurse to come back. She just wanted Liv and Maxence. She wanted the good people to take care of her. She was vulnerable from being in there and needed to be talked to like a child sometimes. It didn't surprise her that the nurse hadn't obeyed Maxence's orders of Rose not getting any hospital food and to be as gentle as possible with her. They all thought she was a dog. They thought she was insane and deserved to be in that room downstairs. When that wasn't true. Rose needed and craved that gentleness. She didn't need the obvious hate and bad treatments.

"I'll tell them I was the one giving them to you."

She would take the blame if she had to. It was all on her anyway. They surely wouldn't listen to her reasons anyway. When it came to Rose, they were all thinking that they were right when they were wrong. She broke the hug and looked at the ripped drawing. Rose shook her head.

"Don't. I don't want them taking you from me."

"And I'll steal some tape to fix your drawing."

And maybe some more to put it on the wall. Rose pulled away from the hug slowly. She had enjoyed the hug. Even if it hadn't lasted long and even if it wasn't tight.

"Thank you."

"They can't take me away from you, okay? I'll fight them if they even think about it."

So would Doctor Spitz. If they ever tried to take Liv or Maxence – for the second time – away from her, Liv would make sure that Maxence would sign a paper that was allowing Rose to get out of there or to get transferred in a better hospital if possible. Two weeks in, and she already hated that place. She hated it more now that she had been the witness of what they were doing to people who didn't please them.

Rose wanted to be transferred, but she didn't want to be far from her family. Plus, a new place made her really nervous to think about. New people. New nurses. More people not to trust. She just wanted to be with Liv and Maxence. She hated that place and had since day one.

"Mmhm."

"On a better note, I put your letters in your mother's letterbox this morning, and Doctor Spitz's phone's working. I called a few people and left messages. I hope someone will call back and tell me where I can find him. The addresses on his IDs are all wrong."

"That's good. Hopefully you get some answers."

Liv gently helped Rose to wipe her tears away and pulled out some tissues from her pocket. She picked up the tray with the untouched breakfast and put it outside the room to take care of it later. They hadn't even given her the pills she needed.

Rose closed her eyes as Liv helped wipe her tears and sniffled quietly. She took the tissues carefully and blew her nose, thanking her for the tissues. She was shaking. She had been shaking from the incident with the nurse but she was also shaking from the withdrawal. She didn't feel any good.

"I brought some better food. I'm gonna pick up your pills and some tape." And she had a score to settle with some people. "I'll be back quickly."

"Okay, thank you. I'll be here."

Rose managed to get back to her bed and curled up. She pulled the blanket around her tighter. She closed her eyes and sighed shakily. The Wolf watched around quietly and tried to reassure Rose.

 _'_ _It'll be okay, Rose. We've got people on our side.'_

Liv quickly got to the infirmary of the building and grabbed Rose's pills. Then, she sneaked into the nurses' front office while everyone was away and borrowed some tape. She was about to bring it all back to Rose's room when a woman came to her. She looked distraught and her eyes were red as if she had cried. Which she had according to the tears marks on her cheeks. She was holding a paper in her trembling hands and Liv recognised Rose's writing. She studied the woman closely, and came to the conclusion that she was Jackie Tyler, Rose's mother. She had read the letter and immediately come here.

"I want to see my daughter."

Her voice was trembling as much as her hands and she had that tired look only worried mothers could have on their faces.

"Who's your daughter?"

It was pure politeness because Liv knew deep down that she was Rose Tyler's mother. They looked like each other so much physically. There was no doubt to have.

"Rose. Rose Tyler."

The tears were threatening to fall down on her cheeks again at any moment now. She wouldn't be able to hold them back for too long.

"I just have to take your stuff before. Phone, keys."

Jackie nodded and emptied her pockets and bag on the counter. Liv took it all and put it in a plastic box. She wrote Rose's name on it and put it in a locker for the visitors.

"Follow me."

Jackie was so relieved to hear those words that she almost hugged the nurse who had just accepted to take her to her daughter. She had come here so many times before and they had thrown her outside every time saying Rose couldn't have any visit. It had been years and she was missing her daughter more than anything now. But instead of hugging Liv, she just followed her through the corridors. The door of Rose's room was opened and Jackie was allowed to come in.

"I've found more than some tape," said Liv to Rose.

She came into the room and closed the door behind her. She was smiling. It was a big surprise for her, but it would be an even bigger surprise for Rose. A very good surprise. Something that would cheer her up.

Rose waited for Liv, staring off at the wall, and slowly traced every little crack or crease she could find in it. She hadn't eaten the food Liv had brought her though it smelt really good. Her stomach wanted food. She was getting cramps from hunger but she also felt like she could be sick. So she didn't want to take any risk. Maybe later.

She wished that the staff there could be nice to her. She had never hurt them. The only one she had ever harmed was the chief nurse, Nash. And that had been to protect Maxence. Just a protective move. The rumours that had been spread about her were false. But no one understood that. No one but Liv and Maxence. They were the only ones that cared. They were all she had in that place. A living hell. Worse than that, really. She hated it there and years of her life had been wasted, taken from her and she wouldn't never be able to get them back. She had missed so much. She had lost so much. She often wondered if her family had just forgotten about her. She had been told so many lies and negative things about herself that she believed them. She was never allowed to have visits from any of her friends or family and it hurt. It really did. It didn't help anything. It made it worse. She looked at Liv when she came back in and smiled a bit.

"What else did you-"

She never finished her sentence because of the woman she saw behind her nurse. The woman with tears in her eyes and tears streaks down her cheeks. Her mother. Tears surfaced to her own eyes as she got up and ran over to her mum. She was surprised she could still even run with how thin and weak she was.

"Mummy," she murmured happily.

She hugged her tightly. Her tight hug wasn't too tight, but it was tight enough for Rose. She buried her face into her mother's neck and inhaled her scent, tears rolling down her cheeks silently. She had missed her mother so much. She had missed the cuddles and kisses and 'I love yous'. Rose missed so much from her mother and now, she got to have all of that again, thanks to Liv…


	10. Reunion

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 10/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "But she had had no choice back then. She had just wanted Rose to feel better, but when she had read the letter, she had known that nothing was better. Actually, everything was worse, and she hated herself for sending Rose there."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 10: REUNION

Liv smiled at Rose before she saw her mother. Bringing Jackie in her room was much better than bringing in tape to fix her drawing. Rose hadn't seen her mother in years. That was the best thing that could ever happen to her today. Jackie wrapped her arms around Rose and hugged her tightly against her, so tightly she could have broken her bones. She wouldn't let her go. She couldn't. She had missed her so much. She closed her eyes tight as she felt new tears running down her cheeks. She was finally allowed to see her little girl. They had kept her away from Rose for too long and now she could see her and hug her and talk to her. She could spend some time with her.

"I've missed you. I've missed you so much," she murmured, still holding her tightly. "They never let me see you or talk to you. It was breaking me. My baby girl being all alone here. Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have taken that decision."

But she had had no choice back then. She had just wanted Rose to feel better, but when she had read the letter, she had known that nothing was better. Actually, everything was worse, and she hated herself for sending Rose there.

Rose had thought she would never see her again when she had been locked in that hospital. At first, she had hated Jackie for doing so, for not trusting her enough to keep her home, for not listening to her whenever she was promising that it would get better. However, she still had hoped that her mother would come and see her from time to time and she wouldn't leave her alone in that place. But she had never come. Not in the five years she had spent there. Not a visit, not a letter, not a call. And there she was. Finally. And Rose was so relieved to be able to see her mother again that she forgot her anger to hug the woman who had given her life many years ago.

"I've missed you," she whimpered.

Words couldn't describe her emotions right now. It was too confused. She was happy and relieved, desperate enough to hug her mother tight against her and make sure that she was really there, that she wasn't having some kind of a dream or hallucination. Though the Wolf didn't like Jackie very much – and Jackie hated the entity for sure – because she had caused Rose to be there, it was happy to see her there. It knew well why Jackie hadn't come over the years, and it wasn't for all the reasons Rose believed and it was good that daughter and mother could see each other again. Finally. Rose wanted to spend time with her mum and now she could. She stayed tightly against her and snuggled into her a bit, her face still in her neck.

"I know mum. They wouldn't let me see anyone either. I forgive you, mummy."

Rose really was alone. She couldn't deny that. But seeing her mother how she did when she walked in the room, Rose couldn't stay angry at her forever because she loved her mother too much for that. She had missed her a lot and just wanted to come home. She just wanted to run out of the hospital with her and never look back. But she couldn't.

Jackie only cried even more. How Rose could forgive her after what she had done? She had sent her straight in hell, and she had had no idea about it until the letters. She had always thought that they were keeping her away because they wanted to protect her from Rose's condition, but they didn't. They had just done it so they could torture her better. And now, she couldn't do anything to get her daughter out of there. Only her therapist could, and Jackie didn't know him. She had never heard of him and didn't know what he was capable of. But she hoped he would help Rose better than all those people who pretended to care.

"But I wish you wouldn't have taken the decision."

Liv picked up the bags of food. She put Rose's one on the desk and took the pieces of the drawing. She put the pills Rose needed to take down on the desk and left the room silently so Rose and her mother could have a moment alone. She would go back later. She locked the door and went to the nurses' quarters to eat her meal.

"Thank you," Rose murmured loud enough to her nurse for her to hear.

She glanced at her pill briefly before her face went back into her mother's neck, and she stayed tight against the one person that made her feel loved.

"Let me take a look at you."

Jackie broke the hug and put her hands on Rose's shoulders. She looked at her closely, and bit her lip, because her daughter was thinner than ever, and she looked sick and so unhappy. Jackie noticed the golden spark in her eyes. It was still there, it never left, and she would forever blame the Doctor for that. She had seen him around London lately, but it was better not to tell Rose. He was probably after some alien threats, and was wise enough not to come around Jackie. If he did, she would make sure to kill him for good. He would not get away so easily with what he had done to Rose. Never.

Rose broke the hug reluctantly and let her mother take a look. She wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. She couldn't help but touch Jackie to be sure she was really there. She stroked her jawline lightly and noticed the exact moment she realised the Wolf was still in her mind. And the Wolf could feel Jackie's anger, sadness, and tension all mixed together in front of that situation.

"The Wolf is nice, mum. It can't leave me. It was mourning the Doctor too. Just like I was. Just like I am. Give it a chance, please."

Jackie wasn't very convinced that the Wolf was nice after all it had done to Rose but she had no choice but to accept it now. The Wolf was stuck in Rose's mind forever and no one could remove it from Rose without hurting her badly. Without killing her. Everything because of that stupid son of a bitch that called himself a Doctor and who just waited for the best occasion to kick Rose out of his box.

Rose would prove to her that the Wolf was nice. So would the Wolf. They all had to learn how to live with the powerful Time vortex. Everything because of the Doctor. Rose had loved that man dearly. He had always kept her safe and happy and he had always brought her home. He had always kept her safe. But maybe in the end, he had just been looking for the best time to kick her out.

"Oh, honey. I know you're missing him, but he's never coming back. You said it yourself. He's gone. And that other man calling himself the Doctor is just a dick. He's no better than the first one."

Jackie had never really liked the Doctor and his way of living his life but she had seen the feelings Rose had for him and she had just accepted it because she couldn't go against it. Plus, the Doctor in leather jacket had been very protective of her and always brought her back home – not always on the right time but still.

"I do miss him. But I'm trying to get over him. I really am. It's just hard. I know he's never gonna come back. It's just hard to accept."

Jackie just hugged Rose tighter. If course she would miss her Doctor. Who wouldn't? He had offered her the universe and died to save her from a terrible death. Everyone would have fallen in love with such a guy even if he was a weirdo. He could have had all the girls in the universe and yet, he had chosen Rose. And years later, Rose was still missing him and mourning. The Wolf in her wasn't helping in forgetting the guy either.

"You've been here for years, Rose. Years. And they never found the way to help you get back to a normal life?"

Rose couldn't help but miss the Doctor. It was hard without him. He had offered her the whole universe and he had saved her from a horrible death. She had fallen in love with him. She couldn't have helped it. She felt honoured in a way that he had chosen her out of all the girls in the universe. But she would rather have been ignored by him if she had known how it would end.

"I know I've been here for a long time. I've lost track of time I've been here so long. But they haven't helped me, mum. They haven't found a way to get me back to a normal life. They've treated me like an animal. They haven't done anything for me. They've made me worse."

"I'm taking you back home.

Jackie's voice was firm but she was horrified by the way they had treated her daughter and she would make them pay one way or another. She didn't have any power on those people but she was Rose's mother and she was a Tyler. She would make their lives a living hell if they didn't let her out.

"You can't. They won't let you. They have to know that I'm 'better enough' to go. They have to have a reason to let me go. You're gonna have one heck of a time trying to get me out of here. They might hurt you if you try."

Rose could hear the firmness in her mother's voice and it made her nervous. She swallowed lightly. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be let out of there. But she knew that she would have to have a lot of sessions with her therapist first to show that she was improving. There was no way she could be home again without him.

"I sent the letter to Mickey but I haven't seen Clara in days," declared Jackie, changing the subject that was going nowhere. "We were all so worried about you. They will be so happy to hear from you."

Jackie cupped Rose's cheeks, stroked her face, wiped away her tears. She was so glad to have found someone to finally allow her to see Rose. She hugged her daughter again, making sure she was real, that it wasn't any stupid dream like all the ones she had had over the last five years.

"Thank you. I hope you get to see Clara soon. I'm glad to hear that she's been keeping in touch with you after... After I was locked in here."

Rose closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek into her mother's hand, letting her wipe away her tears. She hugged her mother again for the exact same reason. It didn't feel real. But it was. She was so happy Liv had allowed her mother to see her.

"I'm trying, love, but it's so hard without you home. I kept the contact with Mickey and Clara. I see them a lot. They've tried to come here too but no one has let them in. Just like they did with me. I'll tell them that I've seen you."

At some point, they had all thought that something had happened and that it was the reason they were kept away. And that had hurt to think about. So they had just kept on hoping that Rose was fine. Now that Jackie knew the truth, she felt guiltier and she wanted Rose out of that place as soon as possible.

"You told me there were some people finally believing you and helping you. Is that nurse one of them? And your therapist? Is he believing you? You didn't say much about him in your letter."

"Yeah. That nurse is one of them. Liv is her name. And my therapist, Doctor Spitz does too. I didn't mention much about him because the chief nurse here used a forbidden method on him. Made him forget about me. But Liv and I are trying to find him and get him back here. Unfortunately, the method has been used on me too. But it hasn't worked. Because the Wolf has protected me."

Rose swallowed and blinked back a couple tears.

"She what?" asked Jackie, horrified.

She had seen a lot of movies about psychiatric institutes and their inhuman methods of healing people but she had never imagined that it could actually be true. She didn't know anything about what had happened to Maxence Spitz. She hadn't heard his yells of pain when he had been electrocuted until he forgot everything about Rose, about the hospital. She didn't know about the struggle he was facing right now, about the things people were saying about him. But the way Rose was saying that meant they had been terrible with him. But why had they erased the memory of the only man willing to help Rose?

"She electrocuted him, mum. She did it to me too."

Her eyes had grown big at Rose's explanation. They had electrocuted her therapist! Why in the world would someone decide to electrocute a therapist because he was doing his job? Jackie's rage only increased at that.

"I'm definitely taking you out of here. I can't leave you here now that I know what they've been doing to you."

But her only way to help Rose out would be to find Maxence. She had known a Spitz once. He was coming to the AA, and often talked. Worst alcoholic ever. A real wreck. She used to hate him because of how similar he was to the Doctor, but the man was so different from the alien she had known that she had just forgotten about him. And now he maybe was Rose's therapist, the only one with the keys to her freedom. And he had forgotten it all. Great. Odds were definitely not in their favour.

"I don't know if they're gonna let you. That chief nurse can't touch me anymore anyway."

The only way to help Rose was to find Maxence. He was the key to her freedom. Without him, she was stuck there. But Maxence couldn't remember her and she needed him. She could help him remember her. He just had to come back there first. She really did want to come home though. Permanently. But she knew that wouldn't happen. Not so soon/

"Sure I can! I'm your mother and I decide that this place isn't what you need to get 'better enough'. You know the Tyler, we're determined enough to have anything we want."

But the head nurse wouldn't be so impressed by a Tyler woman no matter how determined she was. She had decided that Rose had to stay there and wouldn't change her mind. Only Maxence could sign the papers to get her out of there, and the head nurse somehow had a power in him. She knew secrets about him, secrets that would destabilise him, and then, she would manipulate his brain with electrocution for him to forget everything she could have told him. It was surprising that he hadn't gone mad. Or maybe he was but was hiding it well enough to be considered as normal.

"It's not that easy, mum. I know it's not. I wish it was. You wouldn't believe how bad I wanna come home. I know we're determined enough to get what we want. But we need my therapist. He's my key to freedom. My only key. If he's gone. I'm a lost cause and I'll forever be in here."

Rose frowned at the thought. It really hurt to admit that to her mother. But it was something she had been told since the first day she was here. Only Maxence could get her out of there. They needed him. Rose needed him. She also needed to figure out what Nash knew about Maxence that was giving her the power of manipulating him so easily.

"I'll find that Doctor Spitz and I'll force him to sign the papers to get you out of here. I swear, I'm gonna find him and bring his freaking ass here."

"Won't be that easy," suddenly said Nash behind them. "He's been pretty badly traumatised last time I saw him here. Just like the other therapists she's seen before."

Nash was putting the blame on Rose as usual. She had come in the room discreetly after she had found out that Rose had a visitor. A visitor Nash hadn't allowed. She had had to come and see who it was and throw that person out. No matter who it was. Rose Tyler was getting too many rights for her liking. Taking Maxence away hadn't been enough. She had to hit harder.

Jackie turned around to face her. She was already mad because of everything she had learned today, and that meeting wasn't gonna make her mood any better. She was ready to fight anyone who would touch her daughter.

"Who are you?"

"Nash, the head nurse. Liv told me miss Tyler had some visit. I had to come around and see. Visits are supposed to be supervised."

"Yeah, that's why you've kept me away from my daughter for so long!" snapped Jackie. "This is not gonna happen ever again. I'm taking her out of here."

"You can't." The chief nurse was remaining incredibly calm. "This is not in your power to do so."

"I'm her mother. I have all powers."

"You've sent her here." Something Jackie would always feel guilty of. "Only Doctor Spitz can make her get out of here. Until then, miss Tyler is forced to stay with us."

Rose hissed sharply at Nash and pulled her mother behind her in one swift but gentle move, and the golden spark became strong in her eyes as she took a few steps back to be as far from the head nurse as she could.

"Don't try and feed my mother lies. I've never hurt him. The other therapists didn't care like he does. They never tried to help me. He's the only one. You're trying to ruin the only ticket I have out of here because you believe I'm never gonna be good enough to get out of here. You believe that I'm a lost cause. You've said it to me since day one. I don't believe that Liv told you I had visitors 'cause she would've stayed to watch this visit. I know what you did to doctor Spitz and you can't tell me you didn't do so."

Jackie got surprised by the sudden move her daughter did to place her behind her. But she wouldn't let anyone come and hurt her daughter. She wouldn't stay behind but one detail stopped her. She got surprised by Rose's sudden anger and words. So, that nurse was responsible for everything that had happened to Rose, and for what had happened to her therapist.

"So that is you. You're the nurse making my daughter go through hell. That is you trying to keep her away from me. I'll tell you what, ma'am," suddenly said Jackie pointing a threatening finger on Nash. "This is not gonna happen. This is never gonna happen again because I won't let you torture my daughter or her therapist ever again." Nash raised a light eyebrow at her anger. "From now on, I'll be allowed to see my daughter every time I want to, every time she will need to see me. You'll let her write all the letters she wants to her family and friends. You'll let her see her therapist every time she will need it and you will give her everything she wants and needs. Is that clear?"

Rose gently gripped her mother's shirt so she would stay behind her. She was just protecting her. So was the Wolf. They wouldn't let anyone hurt Jackie. Not after what she had been through, years of wondering, hoping, praying that her little girl and her only child was okay and still alive. Rose had mentioned that the head nurse had harmed both Maxence and herself, but she didn't blame her mother for being so surprised. Nash was the nurse who had caused all the damage. Rose mocked Nash's light eyebrow raise and rolled her eyes lightly.

"Don't try to play goody two shoes in front of my mother, please. It won't work. She knows some of what you've done. If only she knew all of it. You'd regret your existence if she knew everything."

Rose knew that for sure. She wished that she could do something to the nurse. She would be unable to be identified when she and the Wolf would be done with her. But she had to be good. She had to be strong. That's what Liv had told her.

Rose doubted the chief nurse would listen or obey to Jackie's orders, but she had been kind of listening to Maxence's orders. So that was a start. However, Rose would never trust her. Not after everything Nash had done. And the head nurse proved them once again that she wasn't trustworthy by snorting at them.

"You don't know anything, Tyler. You think your therapist can help when he's actually so much madder than you are. He's only out there because he's managed to escape. Otherwise, he would still be there. Believe me, he's not who you think he is. And he's certainly not the person you'll need to get out of here. You better get to that idea."

Rose growled at Nash. "He has helped me. I don't care how mad he must be. He looks fine to me. He looked fine. He is the person I need to get out of here. I don't care who he is or who I think he is. He's helping me. It's more than you've ever done."

"Is that a threat?" yelled Jackie at her.

"More a warning. Maxence Spitz is the worst person to have ever walked this Earth. If you knew what I know about him, you'd agree."

Rose glared at the head nurse and spat at her feet. She kept her mother close to her in her back for her to be safe from the danger Nash was representing in that place.

"I don't believe you."

That was Nash's last words before she left the room and locked the door behind her. Whatever they would say, she wouldn't believe it. They didn't know anything about Maxence Spitz while she did know everything about him. She had tried and tried to get rid of him, of the danger he was representing, but she hadn't managed to. He had run away before she could finish what she had started and his family had found him before she could find him. They had kept him safe and protected ever since. At least, she had managed to erase a big part of his memories. When she did the mistake of telling him that he had a part of the Wolf – the worst part of the Wolf – she knew she had to erase his memories again before he could start remembering things he had forgotten years ago. His Wolf was so weakened that it couldn't protect his mind the way Rose's Wolf was protecting her. Only Rose would be able to fill the holes in his mind, and it would take a moment because Nash had created a real mess up there. And that was why she had to keep Maxence Spitz away from Rose Tyler. Until now, it had worked pretty well, but her plans weren't working anymore. There were more and more people she couldn't control, more and more people willing to help Rose get out of there. And she knew they would find Maxence Spitz soon enough to help Rose get out of the hospital. And then, who knew what would happen? Stupid aliens.

Rose wouldn't believe anything Nash said either. Though it was mysterious. He was worse? The worst person who ever walked to earth? It sparked Rose's curiosity to say the least. And it maybe could explain some of the questions the Wolf and her had about Maxence, the mysteries around him. The man probably wasn't who he pretended to be. But he had no idea of who he was supposed to be. Or who he had been in another life.

A few minutes after Nash was gone, that was Liv who came in. She was out of breath because she had run all the way down there when she had learned that Nash was coming there.

"Is everything alright?" she asked when she had enough air to speak. "She looked pretty mad that I've let you in."

Rose was trembling even more now than earlier. Some from anger and some from the withdrawal. She hadn't taken her pill yet because of the emotional roller coaster she had been experiencing in the last few hours.

"Head nurse is mad 'cause she's not getting her way. Everything's fine. She didn't touch anyone. But she's angry 'cause she wants to keep my friends and family away from me."

Rose closed her eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths slowly. The Wolf was really angry and on high alert because of Nash's surprise visit. It had people to protect, and people to fight.

"Good," sighed Liv. "Good. I was afraid she would try and throw your mom out."

"Better not try!"

"I'm sure she would've tried. I wouldn't have let her though."

"She can't do much when I'm around. I don't know why, but it's good. Doctor Spitz and I being around will always keep your daughter safe."

"With Liv around, I'll be safe. And with Doctor Spitz too, mum. I'll be okay for now."

"You were the one who delivered the letters."

"Yes. I posted them before coming here."

"Thank you." Jackie walked to Liv and hugged her tight. "Thank you," she repeated.

Liv hugged Jackie back with no hesitation. She looked over at Rose and noticed that she hadn't eaten, nor taken her pills yet. She needed to do it soon but Liv understood why she hadn't yet. She just wanted to enjoy that moment she could have with her mother the best she could. Which was normal when you hadn't been allowed to see her in years. Jackie was the one breaking the hug.

Rose smiled a bit at the hug her mother gave Liv. She ran a hand through her hair and went over to the desk. The golden spark slowly vanished as Rose took the pill and swallowed it with the drink Liv had brought earlier. She then leaned against the desk and picked at her fingers so she wouldn't tremble so badly. Or at least, for it to be less noticeable. It was nice to see her mother again. She had missed her dearly and was just taking in her image so she would have memories to think about when she would be alone again.

"Oh, I forgot something in my rush." Liv put her hand in a pocket of her nurse outfit and pulled out a paper folded in four and covered with tape. She unfolded it and showed it to Rose. "I managed to fix your drawing. Sorry for folding it. Had to keep it from some curious and mean hands. We can put it on the wall if you'd like to. I've taken some more tape. A full roll of tape actually."

"Thanks for fixing it. It's okay that it's folded. It's more than anyone else in this place would've done. I'll redo the drawing someday. I'd like to hang it up."

Curious, Jackie carefully took the drawing from Liv's hands. She was impressed to say the least. She had always known that Rose had some talent in the drawing area – something she couldn't have gotten from her – but she had never actually seen a drawing from Rose. And that was incredibly realistic and perfectly wonderful.

Rose chuckled as Liv admitted she took a whole roll of tape from the nurses' desk. Seemed like something Liv would do. Rose chewed her lip when her mother took the drawing. She didn't know where she had gotten the art talent from but she was thankful to have it. She had always enjoyed drawing and would never stop doing it. It made her happy that her mother liked it. That everyone liked it so far.

"She drew it after I brought her papers and pens to write the letters. I knew there was any risk of her hurting herself with it but I allowed her to keep it all. Your daughter's an amazing drawer."

"Yup. I got a little bored." She blushed lightly at Liv's compliment. "Thank you. I've practiced a lot over the years. I'm surprised I'm still any good with being stuck here."

"Keep practicing. I'll bring you some more papers and pens."

"I will. I promise. I'll be looking forward to the pens and paper."

Supporting a patient with a talent or a passion they had was one of the best ways to help that patient getting better and Liv knew that. The building she was working in before being transferred there was supporting the patients when they found a way to express everything they were feeling. Art was the best way to say something without saying something and Liv was surprised that the establishments that were encouraging their patients and pushing them towards arts weren't numerous when the method had proven that it was helping people getting better.

Liv noticed that Rose still looked exhausted and that her eyes were still puffy because of the tears. She also remarked the trembling but said nothing about it not to make Rose uncomfortable in front of her mother.

"She needs some rest," Liv said to Jackie. "Would you mind watching over her while she's sleeping a bit? She tends to have some nightmares. No one's better than a mother in that situation."

"Yeah, of course."

Jackie put the drawing down on the desk. Rose did have nightmares still. She did them nearly every day. They never left her. She remembered calling out for her mother when she was first there whenever she had nightmares, but she had lost that habit over time since they never allowed her any visit. Or give her any comfort.

She listened to Liv and Jackie speak and carefully hung up the drawing on the wall, along with the Dalek one with the tape Liv had stolen. She would definitely enjoy a nice cuddle to help her sleep better.

"Make sure she's eating. Even just a bit. And call me if you need anything. I'll be back around dinner time. You have plenty of things to catch up, I guess."

Liv smiled gently at the two of them and put the roll of tape on the desk before leaving the room and locking it behind her once again. Rose smiled a bit in return before and sat down on the bed as the door was locked. She sighed quietly. Jackie took off her shoes and lay down in the bed. She pulled Rose closer to her gently.

"Come on. Let's take a nap together like when you were a little girl."

Since Jackie only had an unique little girl, the both of them had spent a lot of time together when she wasn't working hard to get enough money and buy Rose a gift for her birthday or for Christmas or even just to eat a good meal. Jackie had tried her best to raise Rose well and she had done it quite nicely. Jimmy Stone was the one who had ruined everything. The Doctor, that stupid superior alien being, was close behind.

"I'll keep your monsters away. Like I've always done."

Jackie kissed her head softly and started humming a song she always sang to her when the younger Rose was having nightmares. She would protect her daughter in her sleep like she had always done and she would find that damn therapist to bring him back there, by force if needed. He had to get Rose out of there no matter what that bitchy head nurse was saying about him.

Rose lay down close to her mother, facing her, and wrapped her arms around her. She smiled softly. She remembered when they used to take naps together. She had always loved that. She had always loved when her and her mother got to spend time together and be happy when she wasn't working really hard to put food on the table or get gifts for her birthday or Christmas. Jackie was the best mother Rose could ask for. She loved her a lot.

Jimmy Stone and the Doctor had both changed Rose in their own ways. Both for the better and for the worse. But those were other stories. Things Rose didn't want to talk about right now.

"I'd like that. I haven't had someone to keep my monsters away in a while."

Rose kissed her mother's cheek and laid her head on her gently. She closed her eyes when Jackie started to hum. She cuddled into her and pulled the blanket around them gently. She had missed her mother protecting her and sleeping with her. She had just missed her mother.

Jackie didn't sleep right away. She spent a lot of time watching over Rose while she was sleeping. She kept her monsters away, still humming that song she had once invented. It was a small song, and the lyrics were stupid but it had always helped Rose before and Jackie hoped it would work again now. She kissed Rose's head and wrapped her arms around her, keeping her as close to her as possible.

Jackie was thankful for Liv. She was thankful for her because she seemed to be a wonderful young woman – she looked as young as Rose – and she was the first one who had allowed Jackie to come and see Rose. After five years, Jackie finally got to see her daughter and she would forever thankful for Liv for that. She had also understood that Liv was the one who had allowed Rose to write letters and give news to her family. The others had just wanted to keep them away from Rose. Jackie still didn't understand why though. She had just wanted to help her daughter. She had always thought that she could come and visit Rose and help her as much as they were supposed to. But she had gotten it all wrong and she hated it. She would never forgive herself for everything Rose had lived here. She closed her eyes, still holding Rose close to her and a few more tears rolled on her cheeks. They better find that Maxence Spitz quickly, because she wouldn't handle the idea of Rose being stuck here for another long while.

Rose slept right away and held her mother tightly. Her knuckles were white from how hard her grip was. She was scared to let her go. She was scared that was a dream and that she would wake up somewhere. Alone. She hated the word. She hated being alone now and was scared to be alone. So, the wolf let Rose continue to listen to the song as she slept deeply, feeling safe and loved for once. She hadn't felt that way in a while and had forgotten the feeling.

Rose nuzzled her head against her mother carefully as Jackie kissed it again. She would forever be thankful for Liv letting her see her mother. She needed it. She had thought that she would never be able to see her mother while in there. But they were wrong. Very wrong. The staff had kept Rose away from her friends and family and it had really broken her down.

Rose stayed curled up against her mother, scared to move anywhere else. Her warmth and presence was inviting and it was very nice. Having someone else there was nice. A soft frown crossed Rose's face at the dream that suddenly crossed her mind. She always hated that dream. It was the Doctor's regeneration and how he kicked her out. How her mother had to comfort her. But the dream always switched and it switched to when her mother brought her there. Her jaw tensed at the dream.

Jackie was dozing off when Rose started showing some signs that she was having a nightmare. She immediately forced herself awake and hugged Rose tighter. She gently and slowly rocked her like she was doing when her daughter was just a child.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm here now."

She stroked pale her face gently, trying to help her to relax. She hummed the song again. Oh, she hated herself for what she had done that day, but she hadn't had any choice. The Wolf had never given her the choice, and all of that was the Doctor's fault. He should be the one locked down there. He should be the one being tortured. Oh, surely the solitude wouldn't bother him much since he seemed very alone the last time she had seen him around London, but being locked down with no possibility of going out would cause him a big problem since he wasn't the type of guy of settling down. And it was mean of her, but she would laugh if he ever got stuck there because he would understand what her daughter had gone through because of him.

Rose was deeply asleep but the Wolf could sense Jackie dozing off. Rose sighed as she felt her mother jerk awake and hugged her tighter. She relaxed as soon as she heard her mother's voice. She listened to the song her mother was humming, sighing quietly but contently. Rose hadn't wanted to come there. She remembered begging her mother not to bring her there, and finally growing dead silent when she knew her mother had finally made the choice. And how many times she went silent in here.

The solitude wouldn't bother the Doctor if he was ever locked in there. Because he was used to it. He was used to being tortured. Rose was sure he was very alone. Maybe he never found a companion as good as her. Or maybe he was looking for her. She wouldn't laugh if he was locked in here. That place was hell. Worse than that. Rose Tyler would never wish this place on her worse enemy. That place had changed Rose. It made her scared of things. It made her scared of certain people and certain things. But the Doctor would understand what hell she had been through if he ever did get locked up in there.

"He's gonna pay, Rose. Whenever I'll see him again, I'll make him pay. He shouldn't have done that."

When she would see him again, that Doctor would regret ever meeting them. Jackie had hated him, but the Doctor in leather jacket had proved that he was a good man, that he was able to take care of Rose, that he would do anything to keep her safe when the ridiculously skinny guy who was replacing him was just rude and not even thankful for Rose saving his ass and taking care of him while he was in his coma. Jackie Tyler was gonna kick his ass and make him understand that he shouldn't have messed with the Tyler.

"It's in the past, mum. Just let it go. He didn't wanna travel with me anymore. Just leave him be;" she murmured quietly.

The Doctor in the leather jacket would always be her Doctor. The man who had saved her and the man who had loved her and always made sure she was safe. He had done everything to keep her safe. But the skinny guy who had replaced him was nothing like the other Doctor. Rose remembered too clearly taking care of him and making sure he was okay during his coma. She always would.

Rose had always been the most compassionate one, the one who was forgiving more easily, and Jackie didn't understand how she could forgive that damn Doctor so easily when she was still raging years after the incident. But she didn't ask. She just stayed with Rose while she was resting. She fought her demons, her nightmares and kept her safe, making sure she was sleeping properly, that he was having the rest she needed.

Liv came back a few times to see if everything was alright. She allowed Jackie to stay for the dinner – again, she brought Rose some food from the outside – and a little moment after but she had to make her leave when her service there was done for the day.

Rose stayed tightly against her mother and never moved the whole time she slept. She woke up before Jackie had to leave so they could talk a bit and cuddle. And that was nice. She got the rest she needed and she slept properly for the first time in a very long time. She sensed Liv coming in a few times and she got to talk to her a bit. She actually smiled a couple times for the first time in years. It was nice to smile again. To really smile.

Maxence Spitz hadn't come at all and never called. Rose was right. The electrocution worked. He didn't remember. The mission of finding him and convincing him to come back was as hard as they thought it would be. Jackie was reluctant to go but she couldn't stay there. Visits weren't allowed at night. She hugged Rose and kissed her and promised that she would be back soon and that she would help with the search of Maxence Spitz. She asked Rose to be strong just a little bit more so she could be strong too. And finally, she followed Liv outside. The two women came back to their home and both immediately started looking for the Doctor Spitz. They had to find him. Quickly.

Rose grew very sad when she realised her mother had to go. She hugged tight and kissed her in return. She thanked her for helping in the search of her therapist and told her that she would try her hardest to be strong for a little longer. She let a few tears fall when they Liv and Jackie left the room. She was alone again. She used the bathroom before she laid back down in bed. It was hard to be strong. She had tried being strong for years. Could she make it a little more?


	11. Wreck

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 11/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "So, right now, he was sitting still on a stool of the small bar separating his kitchen and his living room and looking at the emptiness of his life. He distractedly scratched his hairy face and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He didn't realise what he was doing until he found himself with a glass of whiskey on the rocks in the hand. It surprised him and he immediately caught the landline phone with trembling hands and called his mother."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 11: WRECK

It took Liv a few days to finally find Maxence. She had gone to all the addresses on his ID papers, and that was the one on his professional card – the most recent one in all his cards – that was the good one. For days, she had shared her time between giving some calls to find him and visit the places he used to live before – he really needed to update his information on his ID papers – and taking care of Rose, making sure she had everything she needed when it came to food and comfort. She had also brought her a small strong-box in which were locked some coloured pencils, pencils, paint, felt tips and papers. She had hidden it in the bathroom, in a small cupboard, and she was the only one – with Rose – to know the combination of numbers that could open it. She had used a couple of towels to keep it hidden and until now no one had found out about it. Perfect.

Today, Liv decided to go and meet with Maxence Spitz before going back to work. So, she stopped his motorcycle in front of the building he was living in and rang to the intercom. She didn't know what she was gonna find.

* * *

While Liv was taking care of Rose and looking for him, Maxence was sinking into a vicious circle. He had remained incredibly silent for days, barely talking to Donna when she was coming back home after work, barely moved from his bed all that time. He didn't shower, barely ate and just moped around, depressing on the fact that his life was going all wrong again, and that confusion and depression led him to pain, more mental than physical. A pain he desperately wanted to numb with some strong alcohol.

So, right now, he was sitting still on a stool of the small bar separating his kitchen and his living room and looking at the emptiness of his life. He distractedly scratched his hairy face and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He didn't realise what he was doing until he found himself with a glass of whiskey on the rocks in the hand. It surprised him and he immediately caught the landline phone with trembling hands and called his mother.

"Mummy, I-I'm gonna do a mistake. I can't be strong anymore. I can't resist the temptation anymore."

His voice broke and he threw the phone away from him. He didn't hear it fall on the ground. He caught the glass and played with it. His eyes never left the amber fluid, and the smell of it was taunting him. But he never took a sip of it. He resisted. And he realised that his mother had arrived only when she took the glass away from his hand and emptied it in the sink.

"We've got to talk, Maxence."

Maxence didn't look up at his mother when she threw his drink. He kept staring at the bar before him, even when she started talking to him and asking him to pull himself back together. He was still off, still facing the incredible pain he was suffering from inside down. His hands were trembling. He was facing a withdrawal he hadn't had for years. It had been five years since he last had drunk a drop of alcohol. He had a token to prove it. He usually always had it in his bag. He was taking it everywhere, but his bag had disappeared along with his ID papers, phone and motorcycle. His mother was giving him a whole speech about his miserable condition, a speech he wasn't even listening. He wanted a drink, he wanted it really bad.

"Maxence," suddenly said Joanne, putting her hands on his shoulders, breaking his trance. "Tell me what is wrong, honey."

"My head hurts," he muttered, and she gently rubbed his temples to help him. "And I forgot four days of my life. As if two full years weren't enough, I forgot four full days, and just woke up with a headache and enough benzodiazepine in my blood to drug a horse for hours. Everyone's thinking I'm carving those words into my skin, when I'm not."

"Who does if it's not you?"

"They just appear."

"Sweetheart, it's not possible."

"I freaking want a drink to forget all this mess. I'm tired of everything, mummy. I'm so tired of being that way."

Joanne wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight to comfort him. Donna entered the room suddenly and yelled at him for being a stupid selfish boy for not thinking about them and wanting to sink back into the alcohol. She yelled for a few minutes when the intercom rang. They all looked at each other. They weren't expecting anyone.

* * *

If Liv's life was quite animated and Maxence's depressing one, Rose's life didn't change much in the few days that followed the visit of her mother. She stayed in her room like she had been for the last few years. She was staring at the wall, pacing the room, and drawing. She was drawing a lot in those few days. It was helping her to deal with the withdrawal and the Wolf. It was giving her some problems but she was trying to handle it the best she could. She slept whenever she could. But she was mostly drawing to distract herself and always asking Liv on updates on her searches for Maxence. But she always got the same answer. And so, she started asking less within those few days.

Rose was always worried that maybe they wouldn't find him. Or maybe they would and he just wouldn't come back at all. She was just scared that what the nurses had said to her were true. However, she managed to keep strong. She didn't know how she did it, but she did. She was staying strong and doing the best she could. She was fighting against the nightmares and dealing with the very intense migraines that the Wolf was bringing lately.

Rose remembered how happy she had been when Liv brought her the small strong box with all the art supplies in it and how tight she had hugged her. She had spent that whole day and night drawing, fighting against the exhaustion the withdrawal pill gave her. But her withdrawal was getting more bearable with the time passing by. She didn't tremble as bad, and she could eat food a bit easier without having the worries of throwing up.

Thanks to Liv, Rose now had a growing stack of very colourful and detailed drawings of different things. She was also writing a lot and had a growing stack of writing as well. She needed it all to let go of all the bad feelings she had inside her. The Wolf was sensing the tension, the stress and the worry Rose was experiencing and it really tried to help her, to make things easier on her. But it couldn't help with the migraines. Nevertheless, the pain was more bearable now that she had activities to keep her distracted.

Right now though, Rose was asleep. She was slowly starting to wake up. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she stretched, then curled back up under the covers. The Wolf paced around her mind slowly. Rose ran a hand through her hair and rubbed her temples, a frown on her face.

 _"_ _I know. Another migraine. I'm sorry. I'm just getting restless and a little angry. I don't know why. I wish I knew."_

The Wolf was trying to comfort Rose and was apologising for the pain it caused her because of its constant activity in her mind. Rose didn't reply and just took a couple deep breaths slowly, trying to ignore the pain. She rubbed her temples and sighed deeply. She slowly opened her eyes and winced at the light. She snapped her eyes shut again. The migraine was horrible and it was hard to look at the light. It was hard to open her eyes. It was just better to stay under the blanket and try to relax. Her head was pounding. She gritted her teeth as the Wolf continued to pace around her mind behind the golden barrier.

The Wolf was taking deep breaths with Rose to try and calm them both down so Rose could go draw to help distract herself from the pain. Moving was the last thing on her mind at the moment but she sat up carefully and very slowly, keeping the blanket over her head. She gritted her teeth tighter as the pounding intensified, and the Wolf paced a bit more.

 _"_ _It's okay, Rose. Just try to relax. Take deep breaths. It'll help. Try and think about something else,"_ the Wolf told her gently, gritting its own teeth.

"Easy for you to say." Rose mumbled in reply.

Rose took a very deep breath and let it out slowly as she started thinking of ideas of things to draw for the day, thinking of different things to write today. All her supplies were put away and hidden in the strong box in the bathroom. She needed to go in there to get anything.

She kept the blanket around her and slid to the ground carefully from the bed. She crawled slowly to the bathroom. She knew why she had such an intense migraine so suddenly. But she didn't know what was causing The Wolf to feel what it was feeling so suddenly. Her stomach was even hurting a bit. She didn't know exactly what was wrong. But she didn't like it. The stomach ache was from the migraine. That was a no brainer. She swallowed hard and continued to try and think about other things about. The Wolf kept an eye on her thoughts and lay down, slowly relaxing. Rose let out a long sigh.

"That's it. Just focus on those," Rose mumbled.

Rose finally curled up in the bathroom doorway under the covers to recover a bit from the intense pain. She couldn't do much more at the moment but stay there and wait until she felt better.

* * *

That was Joanne who finally answered the intercom while Donna was still reprimanding a very off Maxence. She talked a few minutes with the woman – a colleague from what she said and the one who had found his stuff – and let her in the building and in the flat. She led her straight to Maxence.

"Someone wants to talk to you."

Maxence raised his head, curious to see who was the person coming to his home to talk to him, and looked at Liv but didn't recognise her. He didn't have many friends and that young woman wasn't one of them for all he could remember.

"You're quite hard to find, doctor Spitz," admitted Liv.

"Who are you?"

"Olivia Baxter. But everyone calls me Liv."

"Good. You can leave me now. I'm being grounded."

"No, sir. I can't leave. I'm here to remind you of your promises."

"I don't do promises."

"You did some to your patient. She needs you. She's waiting for you."

"I don't have any patient. I just came out from school. They won't call me so soon. And I don't have a phone anymore."

"Good thing I have your stuff then."

Liv placed his bag and phone and keys in front of him. If Maxence got surprised, he didn't say anything. She could have stolen it all to reach him for some reason. She didn't seem really dangerous but the danger could come from the most innocent looking persons.

"Your motorcycle is parked in front of the building."

"Oh, great! You've found his stuff! Where were they?"

"In the psychiatric institute, down in town."

"I've never gone there."

"You did. Twice. The second time didn't go so well."

Maxence started rubbing his chest distractedly. He wanted her to go and stop saying bullshits. Or was she saying the truth? Since he couldn't remember anything from the last few days, he couldn't tell. But maybe she was saying the truth. Or maybe she was lying. How would he know?

"Rose Tyler. That's her name. She placed her trust in you and needs you to get her out of that terrible place."

He wasn't listening anymore. He was too focused on the nascent pain in his chest. Pins and needles. Burn. A pain he knew too well. A familiar pain. A new word was forming itself. On his chest. Over his heart. Great.

* * *

When Rose opened her eyes, she knew the intense golden glow was still there, but it would die down in time. She stretched her body out from its curled up position carefully and took a few more deep breaths in unison with the Wolf. She very slowly stood up and walked to the cupboard of the bathroom, opened it and uncovered the strong box. She unlocked it and picked out what she wanted to use for that drawing. She kept the blanket around her and locked the strong box before she covered it up and shut the cupboard door. She walked back to her desk. She sat down in the chair and started drawing. A drawing of the TARDIS interior. She missed the TARDIS. She missed talking to her and stroking the console when the Doctor wasn't looking.

The TARDIS had been sad to see Rose go. Rose knew it. She had been sad to be forced to leave the TARDIS. Lots of good memories there. She wondered if the TARDIS ever kept her room. She wondered if everything was still neatly in place. Some days, she wished she would have let the TARDIS gather dust so she could have gone and seen it. Since she still did have a key. The Doctor never took it away from her when he had kicked her out. Had he forgotten she had it? Or had he decided to let her keep that piece of the incredible life she had had with his former self? Anyway, she had kept it in a box in her room. Even if she knew she would never go back into the TARDIS. No one needed to tell her that twice. It was sad to accept it. But she had to.

Rose did light and gentle strokes on her drawing, not wanting to mess up a single detail. She felt the Wolf relax more in the back of her mind from watching her draw. She let out a long sigh as a brief memory of the Doctor appeared in her mind. He was grinning at her happily. That grin she had loved so much. That grin she missed so much. It made her smile sadly. She would never get to see his daft old face again like he had said.

* * *

Three women. Three women and they were all trying to get something from him. He had just called his mother for comfort. However, Donna had heard about it and had come over to prevent him from doing a huge mistake. The last one was a nurse from a psychiatric institute he had never heard of, and she was repeating him that he was the doctor in charge of a patient called Rose Tyler. All those women speaking at the same time and arguing were giving him a terrible headache. He had had one for days and they were making it worse.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" he complained still rubbing his chest which was hurting more and more. His other hand was clenched on his head. "I know no Rose Tyler. I am no doctor. I never went to that stupid institute and I don't know you at all. Now if you could just leave, it'd be perfect."

Liv sighed. He was so miserable right now and so awful. She really wanted to slap him and shake him to bring some senses back to him. If he kept acting that way, she was gonna hit that thick skull.

"Nash did this to you. She drugged you and took you down to the yellow room. She's electrocuted you until you forgot ever coming to the hospital and meeting Rose."

"She what?!" yelled Donna.

"Excuse me?!" added Joanne.

"Shut up," only replied Maxence, rubbing his temple and chest.

"No. You have to listen to me and to believe me. There's a girl there waiting for you to help her. Over the years, they managed to break her, to take everything from her until there was nothing left of her. She had no one until _you_ came to that hospital and showed her that there were people she could trust, people who could help her. So now you're gonna move your ass back there and keep your word."

Liv opened his bag and threw his notes at him for him to see she was saying the truth but he just let them fall to the ground. Donna chuckled lightly. She liked the girl. She would have kicked Maxence's ass if he had been alone.

"Get out of my flat," he growled. "Now."

Liv closed her eyes and breathed deeply to prevent herself from hitting him. She had thought about it all. Her and Rose had known that it was a possibility, that he might reject it all and push her away. So they decided to add a card to their game. An ace up the sleeve as a last resort. She put a hand in her own bag and pulled out a paper. She placed it in front of him.

"Sign this."

"Wh-"

"No question, you sign this."

"I-"

"You sign this I tell you!"

Liv put a pen in his hand. Since he didn't want to move his ass from there to go and see Rose, Liv would bring Rose to him. He was gonna get his memories back and keep his promises whether he liked it or not. He finally signed the paper with a trembling hand after Liv threatened to kick his ass for being a freaking miserable and awful guy. Soon as it was signed, she took the paper and pen and rushed outside the flat to go and tell Rose that she had to take her to Maxence for him to remember.

"Why did you sign?" asked Donna.

"I have no idea."

"It was an authorisation. You allowed your patient to go out," replied Joanne who had read the title of the paper. "If she can't make you go there to remember your patient, she's gonna bring your patient here."

"I have no patient. I'm no doctor. Now, leave me alone."

Maxence slid down the stool and started walking back to his room before anyone could stop him. His headache was terrible and the pain of the new word starting to carve itself was so horrible that it took his breath away. His legs gave way and he cried out, pressing his hands over his heart while a golden spark appeared in his eyes. His mother and his girlfriend immediately reacted thinking he was having a heart attack or something. He was slumped on the floor, his hands clutched on his heart as if it would make the pain stop, as if it would stop the word from forming itself. Donna forced him to turn on his back and Joanne caught his hands, pushing them away. That's when she saw the blood. She took off the shirt and watched his bloody chest worriedly. That's when she noticed the word forming itself.

"Oh, shit. You were right all along," she murmured.

No one had ever believed him when he had told them the words were appearing on their own. But now, they had no other choice but to believe it because it was happening before their eyes.

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know," admitted Joanne.

Maxence was whimpering at the unbearable pain. Donna immediately helped Joanne to carry him to their bed and went to get the first aid kid. They were gonna take care of him. Thankfully he had called for help before it all happened. Who knew what would have happened if no one had been there?

* * *

Rose was still drawing the TARDIS interior. She was softly humming to herself. The Wolf was observing her drawing through her eyes and listening to her hum. It sighed quietly. The drawing tended to relax them both and it was nice. It was nice to be able to deal with the pain peacefully for once rather than suffer with it. Rose smiled as she felt the Wolf relaxing and continued her drawing, now humming her favourite song. She missed listening to music. She had always loved music and it helped her relax and stay distracted. She wondered what kind of music was out today.

Rose wondered what had changed while she was in that hospital. It was sad that she had to wonder rather than actually know. When she talked to her mother a couple days ago, she had only asked about how everyone was and how things were going for them. She never asked what had changed or anything. Maybe she would ask next time her mother came. Hopefully Mickey or Clara would come and see her too. But she would understand if they couldn't. Last time Rose had seen them, Clara was working as a teacher at the local school and Mickey was a mechanic.

Rose also wondered how things were going with Maxence and how he was taking it. She assumed that he wasn't taking things well and that he wasn't believing Liv. That is, if she had found him yet. Rose didn't know. She hadn't seen Liv yet, and her nurse hadn't said a thing about it yesterday. Just that she was going to another address of his. Rose hated that incertitude. So, she pushed the thoughts aside and continued what she was doing, remaining in her own world.

Rose remembered talking with Liv about a plan B in case Maxence wouldn't come to her. Liv was a smart young woman to say the least and Rose was glad that Liv would force Maxence him to sign that authorisation if she needed to. Rose didn't know how to act outside of that place. She would be very scared to say the least if they had to use that plan B. She would be nervous and would stay close to Liv like a child would, because she wouldn't know how else to be. It would be really frightening. Something she wouldn't be used to anymore. The Wolf raised its eyebrow as it heard her thoughts and what her reactions would be if she had to be taken to Maxence.

 _"_ _I don't know how I'll react and how I'll act. You'll have to help me, Rose. I'll be protective and moody."_

 _"_ _I will. I promise. Just try to stay calm. And I'll try to keep you calm."_

Rose only nodded at The Wolf's words and continued to draw quietly to help keep the Wolf and herself calm and distracted from the pain. She traced over some of her sketch to finalize the look of it all, still wondering about Maxence, still wondering how he was going. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind and just let it go until she got an update.

The Wolf was thinking about it. It felt a spark of another Wolf. It was weak, but it sensed it. It didn't know what it was or where it had come from or why it was sudden. Rose shook her head and drew a little quicker, softly singing to herself to try and distract the Wolf.

In the meanwhile, Liv was back at the hospital and she was walking straight to Rose's room. She knocked on the door and unlocked it. Rose looked at the door as she heard it unlock and stopped her singing, putting her pencil down. Liv got in the room.

"I've found him," she just said to Rose.

She had to take things slow. If she was going too fast, Rose would freak out. Taking her outside when she hadn't left the hospital for years would be difficult so they had to take it step to step. Slowly and carefully.

Rose smiled at Liv. A spark of hope burned in her heart. It was the best news she could ever have today. Liv had finally found Maxence. Meaning he would come back and help her out of there.

"You did? That's great! Where's he at?" She looked around Liv briefly and the spark of hope just faded away. "Oh. Not with you."

She saw the paper in her hand and bit her lip lightly. She decided not to ask any more questions, not wanting to annoy or overwhelm Liv with them. She was just happy to know they had found him. She also knew what that paper and Maxence's absence meant. He hadn't wanted to come there. Rose had to go to him.

Liv looked sadly at Rose when she noticed that Maxence wasn't with her. It was understandable. She was supposed to bring him back there. Not coming back without him. Taking her out was the last resort. And she had to use her last card.

"I'm sorry. He didn't come. He stayed in his flat."

Liv was hesitating in telling her how miserable Maxence looked and how awful he had been to her. Was it a good idea to bring Rose to him in the end? But if she didn't, how would he remember her?

"It's okay. I understand why he didn't come with you."

"He's forgotten it all about coming here and talking to you. He didn't want to believe me. I think that's partly because he's having a hard time. His mother and girlfriend were with him. I think his girlfriend liked the fact I wanted to kick his ass out of his flat to here."

She laughed a bit. So did Rose. Life had probably not been easy on Maxence either but at least, he had his family around to help whenever he had a hard time.

"I knew he would forget. No one needed to tell me that. I'm sure he didn't wanna believe you though. But I'm also sure he's having a hard time because he doesn't remember."

"I don't think there's only the fact he can't remember. There are some mysteries about your therapist. It makes him much more interesting than any other therapist actually. He seems like someone who knows what he's talking about. Whatever he's been through, it made him who he is now."

There was more to Maxence Spitz than what he was showing. The Maxence Spitz she had seen in that flat wasn't the Maxence Spitz she had seen in that hospital. Of course the electrocution had had a big impact on him but it wasn't the only thing.

"I've figured out there are mysteries about my therapist. Maybe I'll get to learn about them as time go on. It does make him much more interesting as a therapist though. He's fresh out of college. Of course he knows what he's talking about. He's fresh out of college after all. And he seems like a bit of a natural at his job. Maybe I'll have him talk to me more about himself."

Maybe she would. Usually therapists didn't talk about their private lives to their patients, but Maxence didn't belong to that stereotype. Liv was sure that it wasn't only because he was fresh out of college. For her, there was something more. As if Maxence Spitz had been in Rose's situation one day. Maybe he had been, but there was no trace of him in any files of any institute of the town. Liv would have known if he had been in one of them. She had worked in almost all the psychiatric institutes around the town and she would have known if he had been to one of them. Or maybe he was just a really good empathic person. Maybe he was just feeling Rose's pain and using it to help her.

"Anyway, I remembered you telling me that you could force him to remember everything so I've taken a form that allowed you to come out of here for a few hours and made him sign it like you've talked about."

She showed Rose the paper she still had in hand.

"Good girl. You did remember then. Thanks for taking it to him and making him sign it. It might be my only ticket to get him back."

"I haven't left him much of a choice."

"I can tell."

"If you feel ready, I can bring you to him. Otherwise, I'll manage to bring him back here one way or another. Looks like if you yell loud enough against him, he's obeying."

Or was it only because he was feeling like shit and wanted them all to leave? Rose stood up and stretched a bit. She tossed the blanket on her bed. She played with the hem of her shirt. She was nervous about the idea of going outside, but she also felt relieved. She would be away from those suffocating walls for a few hours. But how would she handle the new world outside?

"Yeah. I think I'm ready. Take me to him."

Rose walked closer to Liv. She was chewing her bottom lip because she really was anxious to go out, but she would have to one day and she didn't want to be blocked by the fact she had been locked down there for years. She had to try. It was now or never.

Liv folded the paper and put it in her pocket. She walked out of the room and waited until Rose was out to lock it back so no one would steal her stuff. She walked to the nurses' office, making sure Rose was walking close to her, and filled a form to notify Rose's exit.

Rose slowly followed Liv outside of the room. She looked around and stayed close to her nurse, leaving a little space between them not to make her uncomfortable. She was so nervous she felt like wrapping herself around so she wouldn't leave her alone in the cold corridors of the hospital. Instead, she just took Liv's hand carefully as she filled out a paper to notify her exit.

"We usually use a car with a driver when we have a professional trip, but since it's your first trip outside, I think it's better if it's just you and me and my car. Is that alright to you?" Liv asked Rose while signing the document.

"Yes, please. It'd make it easier on me. I'm already nervous enough."

"Yeah, I knew this was gonna make you really nervous. If you feel bad or anything, just tell me, okay? I'll make sure to help you the best I can."

"I will. I promise."

"Where the hell are you taking her?" suddenly asked Nash, coming from behind them.

Liv sighed and turned to face her. They would obviously have to deal with Nash. She knew everything that was going on in her hospital. You couldn't do anything without her knowing. Liv held Rose's hand gently, knowing it was probably helping her to stay calm. She gently stroked it with her thumb when Nash made her appearance.

Rose swallowed. There was already a faint golden spark in her eyes, and it only grew more when she heard Nash's voice. She growled briefly and turned with Liv. She watched Nash as she read the papers, staying close to Liv the whole time. She wasn't leaving Liv's side. She was too scared to at the moment, and was thankful that Liv wasn't making her go in the car with the driver for a more professional trip. Rose would be content with the trip consisting of just herself and Liv.

Rose gently held Liv's hand, the soft and gentle contact helping her stay calm. She softly stroked her fingers with her thumb when Nash appeared. The Wolf was already on high alert and really protective. New territory. New surroundings. It made Rose even more nervous. Especially with having to deal with Nash now.

"Meeting with her therapist. I have all the authorisations."

She gave the papers to Nash who read them quickly. She indeed couldn't do anything when she had all the papers in hands. Spitz had signed one of them himself. How the hell had he been able to do that? Had Olivia found him? Was she bringing Rose to him so the Wolf could fix his mind? Nash's rage was burning now. She was losing another battle to Rose and Maxence. That couldn't continue that way.

"Big risk you're taking there."

Rose rolled her eyes briefly at Nash's words.

"Why is it such a risk? I have to try some time to go outside these walls."

"He who tries nothing had nothing, right?"

A soft glare was in her eyes. She hated the woman, and was glad to have Liv around to help her so much. She was thankful for her and wanted to keep contact with her outside of that place. Once she was out here for good.

"How did you convince him to sign that paper anyway?"

"It doesn't matter. He signed it. Final point."

Liv took the papers back and opened a drawer. She put them into Rose's record and left the office. She walked towards the exit with Rose. When she reached the last doors separating from the outside world, Liv stopped and looked at Rose.

"It all depends on you now. If you're not ready, we can go back. If you are, my car is in the underground parking of the hospital. We won't meet much people there."

They would meet more of them around Maxence's flat since he was living in a nice area, very animated. And there would be two women she didn't know. All of that would be overwhelming for her, and Liv was worried about that, but she would immediately take Rose back if anything felt wrong.

"I'm ready," Rose replied softly.

She was super nervous, but she felt ready. It was now or never, and she decided to choose now. The sooner, the better. She squeezed Liv's hand gently and took a deep breath, exhaling softly.

Liv nodded and walked out of the hospital, using the door leading to the underground parking. She never let go of Rose's hand as she walked down some stairs and went to her car. Thankfully there was no one around. It would be easier for Rose.

"Nice car," Rose told Liv softly.

Liv unlocked the doors of her car and gently helped Rose into the passenger seat. She was forced to let go of her hand to close the door and get on the driver seat. She buckled up and turned the motor on. She waited until Rose was buckled up too before leaving the parking. She drove slowly and carefully, being as quiet as she could. Everything was new to Rose in a way and she didn't want to scare her for her first time outside. She soon reached Maxence's building. She parked in front of it.

Rose picked at her fingers as Liv got ready to leave the parking lot and looked out the window as she drove slow and carefully, thankful for the quiet. It was nice and quiet and Rose felt relaxed. She didn't want to be more scared for her first time outside. And she wasn't. She looked around a bit as Liv arrived at Maxence's flat.

"Here we are. He's living up here. Third floor. Nice flat."

"Okay. It looks like a nice place."

Liv bit down her lip and looked thoughtful for a moment. She had to let her know about Maxence's condition. She couldn't throw in there to face a man who wouldn't recognise her and who would be rude.

"When I left him earlier, he looked miserable and was very rude to me. He was in pain and, I suppose, he is still confused about what has happened. I'm telling you this for you not to be surprised or scared. I'll talk to him first. His family is probably still here. They will help with the talking if needed."

Rose chewed her bottom lip lightly and looked at Liv as she spoke to her, unbuckling her seatbelt. She frowned softly.

"Miserable and rude? Hm. It's probably because he's in pain and that he's grumpy. Thanks for the warning about him. I'll let you walk in first. I'm sure his family's still here taking care of him. He isn't in the best condition to be left alone."

Rose picked at her fingers again nervously. Hopefully Maxence wasn't too rude and miserable. If he was, she would feel uncomfortable and it would make her even more nervous than she already was. She would reach a limit she was already crossing by being out of the hospital if he was rude to her.

Liv got out of the car after unbuckling herself. She walked around the car and opened Rose's door. She helped her out of the car and locked the doors right after.

"You stay close to me, okay? Nothing will happen to you as long as you'll stay close to me. I'll keep you safe."

"I'll stay close. I promise. I have no plans on running or anything."

She gently took Rose's hand and walked to Maxence's building. She rang and explained through the intercom who she was and why she was there. Donna let her in and opened the door to them when they reached the third floor.

Rose took her hand gently and stroked it slowly, walking to Maxence's flat close beside Liv. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She was really nervous and the golden spark in her eyes was a bit brighter than earlier.

"I wasn't expecting you to come back so quickly," admitted Donna. She looked at Rose. "I guess you're Maxence's patient. I'm sorry he can't remember you and forced you to come here. He sometimes needs to be shaken to get his senses back."

"Yup. I'm the patient. It's okay that he can't remember. I understand why he can't. I don't mind coming here too much. It's nice to get out."

Donna led them to the kitchen. Joanne was in the bedroom with Maxence to watch over him. Donna wondered how Maxence's patient was supposed to help him remember but she didn't ask. Maybe just seeing her would help. Or maybe there was something else.

"He's fallen asleep after you left. He wasn't feeling very well. I'm sorry that he has been so rude to you. He's usually a charming guy."

Donna was very worried about Maxence. Especially now that she knew that the words were forming themselves on his skin, words he had no idea what they were meaning. The new one was a full name. The name of his patient. What could possibly the reason behind it?

"It's okay. I've seen worse than him. Some patients are pain in the ass but my job is to take care of them so I don't care about them being awful to me. They quickly learn that I'm not their enemy. Let me introduce you to miss Tyler. She indeed is doctor Spitz's patient. She needs him to get better. He's her only hope in that hospital. Maybe seeing her would wake his memory."

Liv didn't say anything about the Wolf or the fact that Maxence was Rose's last shot to get out of a horrible place, but she noticed the surprised look Donna gave to Rose. The Tyler name wasn't unknown for some reason. Liv had told Rose's name a few times as she was trying to put some senses back in Maxence's head, but there was more than that. Something unexplainable at the moment.

Rose kept close to Liv like she had promised she would. She would show them how she would make Maxence remember. She felt bad that Liv had to deal with a rude Maxence instead of the charming Maxence they had seen just around a week ago. He didn't seem like he was feeling well at all.

Rose nodded at Liv's words. People indeed found out that Liv wasn't their enemy. Rose had found that out when she was covered in blood and terrified of anyone coming within ten feet of her. She was better about that now. She was thankful that Liv didn't mention anything about the Wolf or that Maxence was her last ticket out of the institute. Rose would explain that if needed but right now, it didn't need to be said. She looked at Donna and swallowed lightly.

"I'm Rose. Rose Tyler. As Liv just explained."

Rose held out a hand to Donna to shake her hand. She also noticed Donna's surprise face to her name. Did she know her somehow? Or her mother maybe?

Donna's eyes grew big when Rose gave her her full name. She definitely knew the name even though she had never met the girl. She only knew Rose's name because Liv had mentioned it and because it was the name that engraved itself over Maxence's heart causing him to be in a lot of pain. But she kept silent about it.

"I'm assuming you've heard my name before, judging by the look on your face."

"No, I didn't hear it before. I've seen it. Somewhere. I'm sure I've already read it."

Donna wouldn't admit that she had seen it on her boyfriend's skin, though she didn't know what it meant. She didn't know what any of those words meant. The Wolf sensed that she was lying though. She knew something they didn't.

"Mm. I see. I hope my name wasn't used badly wherever you read it at."

"I don't know quite yet. Haven't read the whole thing yet."

"Okay. Well, I hope it's not bad."

One way or another Rose Tyler was linked to those words on his body, but she couldn't talk about it. Not without the fear of him being locked away because of his scarification. He wasn't crazy like they had all thought. There was something unexplainable, something they couldn't tell so he wouldn't be taken away from his family.

"I assume he's being rude because he can't remember," continued Rose. "I know what happened to him, and I know how, why, and where. 'Cause I've had the same done to me. It just didn't work on me. I don't think he can tell you what happened. 'Cause he can't remember. Or maybe he just doesn't wanna talk about it. You know how guys are."

"I've heard something about electrocution." She glanced at Liv and looked back at Rose. "I don't like it. If it's true, I don't want him to go back there. What kind of hospital treats their doctors that way? Whoever did this is gonna have to face me first!"

She was angry of course. Whoever did this to her Maxence was gonna pay. She hated seeing him feeling so bad. She wanted to get her Maxence back. The gentle and caring and loving and smiling Maxence. She hated the miserable Maxence, and she had seen him like that too many times before.

"Mmhm. It's a forbidden method that they still use. Your boyfriend is my last ticket out of the institute. I need him to come back. The person who did this to him shouldn't be touching him again, I hope."

"The person who did this to him is gonna meet me and she's not gonna like me."

Donna had always been very expressive and her anger against the person who had hurt her Maxence was clearly written all over her face and in her body's language. If she ever met Nash, there would be a fight, and Liv was ready to bet on Donna as the winner. There was no better fighter than a woman whose family had been hurt. That fight could be interesting.

"You'll get yourself banned from the place if you even think about doing that. I already hurt her for what she did to Maxence. I threw her across the room. Feel free to have a fight with her but I wouldn't want you to get arrested or something."

"Won't be the first place I'd be banned from."

Donna laughed. She was quite a fighter and had always gotten in trouble because of that. She had gotten wiser over the years, and didn't fight that much, because it was better not to provoke her, and not to touch to his family. Rose laughed with her.

"I can assume not. But it wouldn't be worth it. Just fight her out in public maybe. Something."

"I'll find a way to get my revenge, don't you worry about that. She's gonna regret what she's done to him. No one's touching my Maxence."

Her point was clear enough. If Nash ever touched her Maxence again, no one would be able to stop her from hurting the woman and whoever would try to help her. If they didn't believe her, they better ask some girl named River Song who had tried to steal Maxence from her. The girl was badass but Donna had ruined her in just a few minutes.

"I hope you find a clever and good way of revenge. You'll have to tell me about that whenever we get to see each other again. If we get to that is."

Maybe they would get to see each other again one day. Donna was pretty curious about Rose Tyler now. Maxence had always been a mystery to her. There was a lot of things that she didn't know about him, a lot that he didn't know about himself either. She wanted to resolve the mystery that he was, and Rose Tyler was obviously part of this mystery so yes, they would see each other again.

"I'm making sure she's not doing any damage to anyone anymore," intervened Liv, "but it's not easy when you're alone against twenty people. Everyone's scared, so they just obeyed. Some just like being assholes I guess."

Because she couldn't believe that all those people were obeying just by fear. Some people were mean because it was in their nature. It was the worst institute Liv had to work in.

"People in the institute indeed like being assholes," sighed Rose. "It's horrible."

Donna thought that Rose looked nice though she seemed really nervous and according to her words, it was probably the first time in a very long time that she was getting out of her room in the mental institute. If Liv had made Maxence sign the paper for her to get out – even for a few hours – it meant that she wasn't too unstable in the end. None of them would have taken the risk if she hadn't been stable.

Rose casually rubbed her temple and closed her eyes calmly. The Wolf in Maxence was weak but her Wolf could sense it and wanted to go help. Rose was sure she could help him in more ways than one. But not quite yet. Not 'til Donna said they could go see him. It would be rude if Rose went straight to him. She picked at her fingers lightly and opened her eyes again, looking around the flat.

"Are you alright?" Liv asked Rose gently. "Do you want any aspirin?"

She had some in her pocket. She always had aspirin on her. It was useful.

"No. no medication can help. It's the Wolf. It'll pass eventually."

Rose was nervous to take medication anyway. Not with what she had to deal with for the years she had been at the institute. She was always taking medication. She didn't want to anymore.

"New surroundings, new people. The Wolf's just trying to take it all in. And with doctor Spitz in pain, it sparks concern for the Wolf. Plus, it senses something," Rose added softly, trying to ignore her pounding head.

Liv nodded, but she didn't like the fact that Rose was in pain. She listened to her explanations, ignoring Donna's surprised look on them.

"It senses something? Like another person with psychic abilities? Someone… Like you?"

She hated the turn of her sentence for the reason it made Rose the crazy girl in the area and she was definitely not crazy. She was even the most reasonable patient Liv had ever met.

"It senses another Wolf. One a lot weaker. It was sparked by pain. Maybe that's why I had such a bad migraine this morning. The Wolf that it's sensing is in this flat. But it's harder to detect because it's so small and weak."

"Would you like something to drink? We have coffee, tea, chocolate, or fruit juice, milk, water," asked Donna to change the subject.

Liv only accepted a tea. She sat down on a stool and showed Rose the second one for her to sit too. That way, they would stay close to each other and Rose wouldn't feel as nervous as she already was.

"Tea, please," replied Rose, sitting on the stool close to Liv.

Donna got their drinks ready and set them in front of them when they were done. Then, she sat down across from them on the other side of the counter. She looked at Rose who wrapped her hands around the cup to warm them up and sipped the tea slowly, sighing contently at the taste. Her first cup of tea in years. Boy, she had missed tea! She would drink it as much as she could when she got out of that institute permanently.

"How long has he been this way?"

"Around a week. He had passed out on the bed when I came home for lunch on Tuesday. I thought he was drunk actually, but it looks like he wasn't in the end. I think something has happened to him but he can't remember it or doesn't wanna tell me what. He's been like this since then, but he isn't so rude usually."

Donna didn't talk about Maxence's old demons, about that the fact he had been an alcoholic and a junky five years ago and that he was going through another phase of withdrawal right now. She didn't talk about the words forming themselves on his skin either. That wasn't their business.

Maxence was still in a lot of pain right now and his eyes still had that weak golden spark in them as he was struggling against the pain. But his eyes were closed so no one could see that spark. His mother was running a cold wet flannel over his sweating face. She had taken off his shirt and bandaged the new wound. She was now looking at the other words on his skin, words they were all so sure he was engraving himself in his skin. There was no possible link between all of them. What could they possibly mean?


	12. Demons

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 12/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Plus, Donna was getting pretty jealous over the fact that Maxence was working with two beautiful women like Rose and Liv. Especially now that Rose's name was engraved in his skin. She surely had a link with Maxence. Maybe something had happened between the two of them in the two years Maxence couldn't remember at all."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 12: DEMONS

Donna observed Rose while they were all sipping their drinks and wondered how the blonde woman could possibly be linked to Maxence. There was a reason why her full name was now engraved on his chest. All those words that kept appearing surely had a meaning and Donna was surprised that they hadn't found it yet. Well, Maxence didn't have new words appearing all of a sudden every day. Before it was just once or twice per year. But now…Two new words in a week and an old word being engraved again. The process was getting quicker and Donna really wondered what they could possibly mean, and if it was possible to stop it. They hadn't believed him so far but now that they knew the truth, they had to help him find out the real meaning of it all. So why that girl? Why now?

Plus, Donna was getting pretty jealous over the fact that Maxence was working with two beautiful women like Rose and Liv. Especially now that Rose's name was engraved in his skin. She surely had a link with Maxence. Maybe something had happened between the two of them in the two years Maxence couldn't remember at all. That's what she thought. That all those words he was engraving – well, that were engraving themselves – in his skin were a part of the two years he couldn't remember, but she had never talked to him about it. Maybe she should now.

Donna didn't get the whole Wolf thing either, and she was starting to think that though Rose looked perfectly normal, there was something that was definitely abnormal in her mind, and the nurse seemed to believe every word she was saying. What the hell all of that was meaning? What was that weaker Wolf they were talking about? Donna would know if something as extraordinary as that Wolf seemed to be was hiding in the flat. It looked like something psychological. Anyone in there could be the host of that weaker Wolf but Donna had the feeling it was Maxence. It could only be Maxence, right? That would only add more to the mysteries around him. Both Rose and her nurse seemed to think that way according to their silent talk.

Indeed, Liv quickly made the link between Maxence and the weaker and in pain Wolf Rose was sensing. Her mouth silently articulated a 'no' as if it was now understandable why Maxence hadn't run away and why Rose and her Wolf felt so calm when he was around. The guy was connected to them, somehow. That was quite unbelievable. It was as if fate was playing with them and throwing some incredible twists in their ordinary and bothering lives. Was there something more about the guy? Not as if he was mysterious enough.

Maxence was totally oblivious of the fact he had a weak Wolf sleeping in his head, and he was perfectly fine that way. Who knew how he would react if they told him that he too had an entity in his head?

* * *

As they were talking, Maxence's eyes fluttered open. He groaned light and looked around him, trying to remember what had happened. He turned his head to the other side of the bed to find his mother sat next to him. He was surprised not to see Donna around, but having just his mother wasn't a bad thing. She was softer with him.

"Good to see you back, honey."

"What happened?" he croaked.

"You passed out. Probably because of your headache."

Joanne preferred not telling him about the new word on his chest. Not now. Not when he was already so disturbed. They had to take things slow so he wouldn't go back to his grumpy condition. She needed explanations but he wouldn't give her any if she was attacking him. Maxence sat up and rubbed his face. His chest felt numb but he said nothing about it.

"Not as if it happened all the time lately," he mumbled.

He got up slowly and stumbled a bit before he found his balance back. He noticed the bandage on his bare chest but didn't ask about it. Some scraps of memories were coming back to him. A new word most likely. That would explain the numbness and the sudden blackout.

"Maxence…"

"I'm good, mummy. I just need something to drink. I can smell tea from here."

He walked outside the bedroom and to the kitchen silently. Joanne just wanted to let him know that he had some visitors and that it would be better if he pulled a T-shirt on but he was already gone. Maxence frowned when he saw Liv with a blonde girl he didn't know in the kitchen with Donna. That made him grumpy again.

"You again?" he groaned. "Don't you have anything to do in your life apart from pissing me of?"

He wondered who was the young blonde girl sat next to her, but he wasn't in the mood of having any visitors today. He groaned again when Donna slapped the back of his head to punish his rude behaviour.

"Damn it! What the hell?!"

"You, be polite!"

Donna noticed the sudden golden spark in his eyes but it was so quick she wasn't sure of what she had seen. She grabbed his chin and looked into his eyes.

"What again?"

Nothing. There was nothing more. She thought she had seen something but his eyes were as blue as usual. She let him go and turn his back on them, pouring himself some tea and letting them see the word 'TIME' clearly engraved in the skin of his right side. His right hand and arm weren't bandaged anymore and the word 'RUN' as well as the number '5' were visible.

Rose looked at Maxence when she heard his voice, a golden spark in her eyes again. She frowned a bit at his rudeness and studied him while he poured himself some tea but didn't say a word. Not yet. Instead, she looked at the words she could see on his skin. 'TIME' was probably for 'Time Lord', 'RUN' was the first word the Doctor had said to her, and '5' was most likely a reference to satellite 5 where everything had happened. Those were the only explanations that came to Rose's mind when she saw the words. The Wolf was also trying to make connections and those were its conclusions. Maxence Spitz was Doctor-related, but how was it possible?

"Mr. Spitz, can I show you something?" Rose asked him quietly to him.

The pieces were trying to fall into place and maybe a quick look in his mind would help. Rose had seen the strange spark in his eyes and the golden spark in hers intensified for only a moment, but quickly calmed back down. It was the weaker Wolf. Rose knew it and so did her Wolf. She hoped she wouldn't get snapped at for trying to help otherwise she would be the bitch of the flat. She wasn't in the mood for anger. Not with this migraine. She just needed to touch him to give his memories back to him and appease the Wolf.

"No," rudely replied Maxence to Rose. "Who are you anyway?"

He glared at Liv knowing she was responsible for that unknown girl to be there and was slapped again behind the head by Donna.

"Keep your glares to yourself," Rose snapped. "I happen to be your patient. Even if you don't remember me."

He glared at Rose in answer to her words. He was not gonna let her tell him what he should do or shouldn't do. She was just a stranger in his flat. She didn't have to tell him what to do.

"Not your business, blondie. And I don't have any patients. I'm too fresh from school. My certification isn't even on the wall. No one wants me yet," he snapped back.

"Don't you dare call me blondie. I hate that. I've been called it enough in the bloody institute."

"Come on, Max!" exclaimed Donna, giving him another slap on the head. "Stop being an asshole. They came to help you."

"Oi! Don't slap my head!" He rubbed the back of his head, mumbling. "I don't need any help, thank you very much. Now you can go."

When Donna slapped his head once again, Maxence just groaned and walked back to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He was not in the mood for arguing. But Rose was stubborn. Two could play that game. Rose could be an ass too. And she would show it.

Joanne sighed when she saw Maxence coming back with a worse mood than before and joined the women in the kitchen, leaving him alone in the bedroom to calm himself down.

"He's really moody today. I'm sorry for him being rude to you. We can't do much when he's like this."

"He's been like this for a week, Joanne. He has to stop being a pain and start living again instead of laying still and watching the ceiling."

"I know."

But it had taken them a lot of time to get him out of that awful state of mind the first time it had happened. It had been two years of his life and he had been really shaken back then. Today, it was just four days but he still was shaken.

"It's fine. I understand why he is the way he is. But I know how to help him. Even if I have to be mean to get my point across, I will," Rose told Joanne.

The woman didn't need to apologise for her son's rude behaviour. It was his fault and only his fault. And Nash's because she had caused him to be that wreck in the first place. Joanne looked at Rose, she knew she was Maxence's patient, and wondered why her son had her name engraved in his chest. All that situation was becoming really complicated and interesting. There certainly was a good explanation behind all the strange things happening in his life. As a mother, it was Joanne's job to find out what it was.

Rose took another sip of tea and slowly stood up from the stool. She rubbed her temples briefly to get rid of the headache forming because of the anxiety and the Wolf sensing another Wolf. She slowly walked into Maxence's room and shut the door behind her. She was gonna help him. No matter what he said.

"Wait, what?" Joanne asked, trying to hold Rose back, but Liv intervened.

"Just let her do. She won't hurt him, I swear. She just gonna help him remember."

"How?"

"I don't really know, but she can do it."

* * *

Maxence drank a bit of tea and put the cup down on the bedside table. He let himself fall on his bed and barely opened his eyes when he heard someone come in. He thought it was Donna who would yell at him for being a jerk, or his mother who would find a way to make him apologise. But he didn't recognise the steps. It wasn't someone he knew very well. He sat up when he realised it was Rose.

"The hell? Never heard of privacy? Get out of here!"

"I've heard of it. But I came here for a reason. And that was you."

Rose sat down on the bed. She crossed her legs and put her fingers on his temples quickly – so he wouldn't run away – but gently and closed her eyes, ready to create the bond between their two minds so she could fix his memories and bring the real Maxence back.

"Just in case you wouldn't have noticed it, I'm already taken and… Wait. What are you doing? Get away! Get away from me!"

"Close your eyes and relax."

Maxence would have to obey because the Wolf was already in his mind and could easily control him and force him to obey. He was sick. So he was a bit weaker than normal, giving the Wolf easier access. The Wolf was powerful, but it was also gentle. Maxence struggled and tried to get her hands away from his head, but he realised that she was doing something to him and that Rose wouldn't leave easily. Neither would the Wolf.

"Just get out of my head already!"

Maxence wasn't gonna close his eyes and relax when she was obviously doing something to him. He wasn't gonna let her do anything to him. He glared at her, the golden spark back in his eyes without him noticing anything, and grabbed her hands. He tried to make her go away from him harder.

Rose ignored his words and rudeness and kept her jaw clenched gently. She would help him because she knew he needed the help. She could help him. He just needed to stop struggling and relax. She wasn't leaving easily. She would make sure he knew that. She would make sure they all knew that.

"I'm not in here to steal you from your girl or anything. I know you're taken. I'm not stupid."

"I'm not stupid enough to believe everything people are saying to me. Here for me? What could that possibly mean other than you wanting to steal me from my girlfriend? You wouldn't dare and try right under my roof with my girlfriend and mother right in the next room, don't you?"

"I'm not here to steal you from your girlfriend. I'm not here to date you. I'm here to get you back so you can help me get out of the situation I'm currently in. They assigned you to me to help me. You're my last shot. I need you. I'd never try and steal some woman's man while they're in the next room. That's foolish and rude. I don't stoop down to that level."

Maxence snorted, barely believing her. Deep down though, he knew that Donna wouldn't have let her coming in the flat if she had that idea in mind, and she wouldn't have left her alone with him either. She would have ruined her life before the idea even came to her mind. Donna was a very jealous person, but she was also very protective of him.

"Too bad for you. I'm not helping anyone but me. That's enough for now. You know what they say, don't ask for too much. You'll always be disappointed in the end. I can't help you. Go away."

"I'm not leaving. You promised you'd help me and I'm gonna make you remember those promises. No matter what you say to me."

Rose had thought that maybe talking would help him to relax. She opened her eyes and looked into his. The golden spark. It was in his eyes again. It only came when he was facing a strong emotion like anger. She didn't pull back from his mind and kept her fingers against his temples despite his struggling. She looked through his mind and found the four days gap. The gap where him and herself had met. She took a deep breath and exhaled calmly as she fixed his mind with the Wolf's help and brought his memories back. She was very gentle with him, although he was fighting her and being an ass to her. But she just ignored him.

Maxence was being awful but that was just because he couldn't find a proper way to understand the situation. The four missing days of his mind were driving him crazy, were hurting him – every time he was trying to remember, he only earned a terrible headache – and he didn't know how to deal with it. So, he was just being awful with people bothering him. And Rose Tyler was totally bothering him right now.

He glared at her once again, the golden spark never fading in his eyes. He could feel her in his mind and he hated it. How could someone even get into someone else's mind? That was pure fiction. And was it even possible for him to see the thin golden thread wandering in his mind and fixing the hole that was bothering him? There was a loud growl, which increased his already pounding headache, and he finally let go, realising that it was useless to fight the girl when she obviously could control his mind. Frightening.

Maxence closed his eyes but didn't relax as she brought back his forgotten memories. He could finally remember who she was and who Liv was. He could remember everything about those four days, and he hated it because it also brought back Nash and the electrocution she did on him, and when the memory came back, he did feel the pain of it, and whimpered until it was done. He remembered the words engraving themselves on his arm and hand and he automatically reached from them, scratching them to make them disappear. He didn't want to remember any of that pain, so finally, he managed to push Rose out of his mind, and away from him. He curled up on his bed and hid his face into his pillow.

Rose's Wolf growled back at him and Rose sighed as he finally let go. She relaxed a little as she could see him remember everything. She had had to bring it all back so he would know what had happened. Her eyebrows twitched at his whimper. She hadn't meant to bring back all the pain from those days. She hadn't thought that bringing the memories would make them so alive for him. She bit her lip but didn't stop. She had to do it. For him. For her.

Rose stood up and calmly walked out of the room. She shut the door behind her and went back to her seat. She sat down next to Liv again and looked at all the women of the room.

"Leave him alone for a bit. Let him calm down and process everything. I didn't hurt him. I promise. He just gave me a bit of a rough time. I gave him memories of the last four days," the Wolf explained to them.

Rose looked at the woman who she assumed was Maxence's mother and held a hand out to her. They hadn't been introduced properly earlier.

"I don't know if they told you who I am, but I'm Rose. Rose Tyler."

Joanne shook her hand, rather surprised to hear that name.

"Yeah, Maxence's patient. Sorry about him. He's a bit lost lately."

"Yeah. That's me. It's okay. I understand why he's a bit lost."

Rose sighed. She rubbed her temples briefly and chewed the inside of her cheek.

"That's how he is. He's snapping a lot but he never bites. He's a gentle boy. He just has his hard times. You don't have to worry about him lashing out."

Joanne was trying to reassure her. Maxence could snap and be rude but he would never hurt anyone in the end. He was a very gentle boy. Well, when he was sober. When he was drunk, he was being someone else, someone dangerous and they couldn't let that happen again. He had stopped drinking five years ago, but anything could make him dive back. A fact that was worrying his whole family.

"Mm. Everyone I've met at the institute says that. They say they snap but never bite. But they do a death bite. I don't trust people easily for that reason. I worry about people lashing out all the time. But thank you for the reassurance. It is appreciated."

"Maxence is not everyone though. I've raised him. I know what I'm talking about. I've seen him at his best, but also at his worst."

And five years ago was definitely his worst. Joanne wished to never see that ever again.

"I know he isn't everyone, miss. But I'm just saying. I know he's a very nice man because he was very nice to me when we met. I'm just saying that I have a hard time trusting people because of what I've been through. Seeing him so angry like this makes me nervous. It makes the Wolf nervous too."

Joanne nodded. Rose Tyler was now a mystery to her too. A mystery she wanted to see solved as much as Donna did. What was her link with Maxence? Why did her name – not hers, not Donna's – was engraved in the skin of his chest? And who the hell was that Wolf she was always talking about? Maybe a bit schizophrenic the girl.

"I get it. Long time I've never seen him so angry though," she murmured for herself.

* * *

Maxence had been rude to both Rose and Liv – the Wolf and Rose had been really angry at him for that because they weren't playing any game with him – and he had struggled against them both. He hadn't cared about them. He had just wanted to throw them as far away from him because he didn't want to see them in the condition he was. A condition he knew too well. A condition that could throw him back to his old demons. He couldn't believe anything they said.

However, that was before Rose forced him to remember, before he remembered the promises he had done to her, before he remembered that he was really her therapist, that she hadn't been lying. He had gotten scared when he had seen the Wolf in her mind, even more when it had growled at him. Why was it growling at him? It never showed him any sign of disliking him before. Maybe Nash was right. Maybe that was just a game. Maybe Rose had gotten bored and was just playing with him in the end.

He didn't look at her when she left and remained hidden in his pillow, scratching the words to blood again. That was all too much. That pain. That pain in his head was driving him crazy, even more now that he knew what had happened. He took his head between his hands and closed his eyes tight, trying to get rid of that pain, digging his nails into the skin of his head. He had to numb it, before it killed him.

He got up, not giving a fuck about his bleeding arm, and started rummaging about in the room. He opened all the drawers, and cupboards, and little hiding places of the room. He fell a few times in the process because the headache was leaving him very unstable. He finally found the bottle he was looking for. He had been hiding it for five years, and was surprised that Donna hadn't found it. He had many and many times resist to the envy of drinking it and today was the day. He was gonna numb it all.

* * *

"What exactly have you done to him?" asked Donna, curious.

"I helped him remember the past four days. I don't know how well he's gonna cope with the pain he went through during those days. But the Wolf in my mind happens to be a Time entity, so it gave him the memories back. I know, hard to believe. But it's true."

Both Joanne and Donna were lost and confused with the answer had given them but they didn't ask any questions about that Wolf that was coming back so often. They knew they couldn't leave Maxence alone. They didn't know what he had been through but whatever it was, it wasn't a good thing to leave him alone while he was processing all of that.

"I know you're lost and confused about the answer I've given. Hopefully I'll get to explain it better to you one day."

"I can't leave him alone," said Donna walking to the room.

And thankfully, she did before Maxence did something irredeemable, before he did something he would regret all his life. She caught the bottle before he could even drink a drop of it.

"No, Max! No! You didn't struggle for five years to dive back into it!"

Donna held the bottle firmly, but so did Maxence. He wouldn't let it go. He needed it. Now more than ever. But Donna refused to let go of the bottle despite his glares at her. His hands were trembling, not hers. He couldn't win that fight against Donna. So, he abandoned the idea of having that bottle. He let her have it only to rush in the living room and find another one. He had hidden bottles everywhere in the flat when he was a drunk. He knew where all the bottles were.

Rose was taking a sip of tea and glancing at Maxence's room when she heard Donna yelling at him. She decided not to follow, scared of what she may see, but when he entered the living room with that furious face on, she almost completely freaked out, afraid of what he was gonna do to her. She managed to have control on her fear though and got down from her seat. She was ready to take action and take the bottle away from him if needed. She wouldn't let him do anything. She might be thin and little. But she was still quick.

Liv jumped on her feet too, ready to intervene to protect Rose if needed. She had brought her, it was her job to protect her. She hadn't thought things would turn out that way, and she had a bad feeling about how it was all gonna end. She had some experience with patients who started to become uncontrollable. Maxence was no different right now.

"Hell, no!" exclaimed Joanne, running to him.

"Ah!" he shouted, pointing a finger on his mother. "You don't move anymore. Same goes for you," he added to Donna who had followed him.

The two women were facing him. They wanted him to drop that bottle, while Liv and Rose were only witnesses of the scene. What they had feared the most those past five years was finally happening. Hopefully, they would be able to stop Maxence before he took a sip of that bottle.

"What have you done, Maxence?" demanded his mother.

She was very worried about him. He looked like a mad guy about to commit a crime, something really terrible. It was frightening to see such a look on such a gentle guy and both Joanne and Donna were concerned about it. Donna had never seen that look. Joanne had. A long time ago.

"Nothing yet, but I'll do it. I swear. Just leave me be."

Rose clenched her jaw. She hated just being a witness, but even if she was ready to jump back into action – a part of her, the part who had loved running with the Doctor, was happy about it – it wasn't up to her to stop Maxence. Her eyes were golden still. The Wolf was staying present. But it was a calm presence for the moment. Both Rose and the Wolf noticed the spark was in Maxence's eyes too.

"Look at his eyes. There's a spark in them. A golden one. It might be a little hard to see. But he's got the Wolf in his mind like I do. His is just weaker than mine is," she told everyone.

Joanne was observing her son as well as everyone in the room. He was keeping the bottle close to him, still pointing his bloody right arm on them to keep them away. He wouldn't let anyone come close to him. He was mad at them all. And the more his anger increased, the more the spark was burning bright on his eyes. Rose was right about it. But what was that Wolf she was talking about?

"Maxence, your arm…"

"Oh, now, you care! You didn't care back then! You were thinking it was me! You were thinking I was doing this to myself! Why would I do such a thing?!" Maxence yelled at his mother. "Why would I engrave words I don't even know the meaning of in my own skin?!"

"Max…" started Donna.

They had to calm him down, to take the bottle away, to bring him back to senses before he hurt someone. Which he would highly regret. However, that wasn't gonna be an easy thing to do.

Rose swallowed quietly. She would help. Even if that meant touching Maxence. She would help calm him down and get the bottle away from him. She believed him. She believed that he wasn't hurting himself. She believed that he wasn't carving words into his skin. She was just afraid he might hurt someone, but she would step in front of anyone he would try to hurt.

"Shut up! You're no better! No one believed me! You all thought I was crazy, that I was grazing my own flesh! But guess what? I didn't! This is not me hurting myself!"

"We know that now, honey. Put the bottle down and calm down. Please."

Donna took a step toward him, but he stepped back. He was staying out of their reach and his eyes were scanning the room to be sure no one would try to come closer to him. He didn't need their help or their advices. Not after they all thought he was crazy and self-harming.

"Stay away!"

"It's better not to get too close," murmured the Wolf to Liv. "We don't know what Maxence is capable of when the Wolf in him in awake."

"STOP SAYING BULLSHITS ABOUT ME! I'M NOT LIKE YOU! I DON'T HAVE ANY WOLF IN MY HEAD, I DON'T KNOW ANY DOCTOR, NOR OWN ANY TARDIS, NOR FIGHT ANY DALEK!"

What he was saying didn't have any sense though. She never told him about the TARDIS or the Daleks. He grunted as pain pulsed through his brain. He pressed his free hand to his forehead, but still kept them away. When the pain hit again, the bottle slipped from his hand and shattered on ground, splitting pieces of glass and alcohol on the ground. Maxence whimpered and pressed his second hand to his head.

Joanne hadn't seen him in such a state of confusion in a long time. She was keeping her distance, just like Donna, but they both wanted to get close to him and help him to calm down. He wasn't making the things any easy on them though. He really was furious, and his words hurt. They hurt so much but he was saying the truth. No one had believed it. Now they did. Nevertheless, he wouldn't forget how lonely he had been, how hurt he had been because they didn't believe it when it all had started. And now, Joanne could see some of those words on him: 'RUN' on his bloody right arm, '5' on his right hand, 'TIME' on his right side. 'DALEK' on his left biceps. Words that didn't make sense for any of them, words he was using just now without knowing what they meant.

"Yes, you do. And it's angry at the moment because I've found it. It has submitted to my Wolf. I've watched it. And I've never told you about the TARDIS or any Dalek."

It hurt to hear him saying 'I'm not like you' because it made her seem crazy. It made her seem insane. And she wasn't. She stayed closer when he grunted and swallowed. She knew what pain he was going through. She knew why too. She clenched her jaw at his words.

"I don't believe you! I don't believe any of you! She told me you would try and tell me those things, and try to get me to your side!"

"The Wolf in his head is causing the intense pain. I know because I deal with it," explained Rose.

"She hasn't just erased his memory," murmured Liv to Rose, horrified by what she had just understood. "She's conditioned him to think a certain way."

Rose was unsure of what to think or say about it. That wasn't the Wolf's doing. It was Nash's and her electrocution. Rose was starting to doubt yet again that maybe she wouldn't get out, because it seemed as if her last ticket out of that place was ruined. It seemed like his way of thinking about her had changed. She hoped they would be able to find a way to help Maxence. She had come to help. But it didn't seem like she was doing any help. She just didn't wanna admit anything to anyone at the moment. She just wanted to get Maxence calmed back down, and she would save her emotions for the pillow.

Liv took a step forward to face him. She was gonna take the matter into her own hands. She was probably the only one to have a chance in overpowering him. She had to keep Rose safe, to keep everyone safe. Maxence would hate himself if he hurt his family and she had to stop him from doing so. She didn't step back when he looked at her, defying her to come closer.

"Wanna fight me? Come on!" he challenged her.

But before he could understand what was going on, Liv was behind him and was holding him firmly with an armlock. She was quick. Too quick for him. She was surprised by how warm his skin was against hers but she didn't let him go.

"Geez! You're burning hot!"

"Is that a way to flirt?" he barked. "Let me go!"

Rose walked closer to Maxence when Liv pinned him in an armlock so he couldn't hurt anyone. She studied him quietly. Maybe she could knock him out with a pressure point press? It was worth a try. Something to get him to stop saying mean things to her…


	13. Monster

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 13/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Maxence stared at Rose with his half blue half golden eyes and smirked when he saw that she had understood. Finally. It was surprising that she hadn't understood sooner. She used to be so perspicacious before."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 13: MONSTER

The situation couldn't any more critical at the present moment. Liv was still firmly holding Maxence who was barely struggling to get away from her. Donna and Joanne hadn't moved. They were totally confused at the situation. They didn't even recognise Maxence. They had never seen him that way. That burning glow in his mind and the mean words he was saying. He seemed to be reading their minds and reminding them of all the mistakes they had done when it came to him. But his favourite victim was Rose. The poor girl was putting a brave face on but the words were like being stabbed to her and Maxence knew he had hit something when he caught her look.

"Poor little girl, stuck into a mental institute because no one wants to help her out," he mocked her. "They're all scared of the little Wolf in your head, don't they? That's bullshit! They shouldn't fear you! THEY SHOULD FEAR ME!"

No one had the faintest idea of what he was talking about, but they could see his eyes getting more and more golden as he was, in the end, lashing out on them. What Rose had feared was happening.

"They'd be scared of the Wolf in your head too if they knew about it. But yes, they're scared of me."

Rose didn't add more. She was looking at the words on Maxence's body, the ones she could see at least, and it clicked in her mind. No. Impossible. Bloody impossible. Even the Wolf was surprised by the sudden revelation. Rose knew what the words meant. She knew what every single word she had seen on him meant. She had known as soon as she saw the first word, but just had refused to believe it.

"I think I know what the words on his body mean," she admitted.

Maxence stared at Rose with his half blue half golden eyes and smirked when he saw that she had understood. Finally. It was surprising that she hadn't understood sooner. She used to be so perspicacious before.

"Oh, she's clever! You figured it out, don't you?"

Now, he was struggling to get away from Liv but she was holding him too tight and it was hurting him more than anything else. He could have gotten rid of her so easily but it was useless to put all his cards down on the table. It was better to play with them all.

"You know who I am, don't you? I'm the real Bad Wolf. The one you never want to meet. I'm the dark side of _your_ Wolf!"

He laughed, and shivers were sent done their spine. It was terrifying to say the least. They all realised it wasn't Maxence talking anymore. And only Rose's Wolf really understood the situation. Maxence was the Doctor, the one Rose had fallen in love with, the one who died for her. Somehow, he had found a way to survive, but didn't remember anything and wasn't aware of the Time entity he always had had in his mind since his regeneration over ten years ago.

Rose stared at Maxence with her fully golden eyes. The Wolf was present and was hiding Rose a bit. It had been talking for the past few minutes now when it had felt Rose's terror and oncoming panic attack. It was two Wolves against each other.

"Of course I know who you are. You're the other half of the Bad Wolf. I used to have a part of you in me. The pain and the anger. But I somehow managed to get rid of you out of me. I've understood since the first day we met. My Wolf sensed you and wouldn't tell me. It was protecting me."

"I chose the Doctor over you because his soul was so dark and I could use it so easily, but that asshole regenerated and sent me away in that rubbish human body!" Something that was making it furious. "I was so weak, and he was having fun numbing his mind with alcohol and drugs, making me weaker! I couldn't do anything! But Nash saw me, and decided it was time to wake me up, and when you sneaked into his mind, I fed on your energy to rise again! I'll be unstoppable!"

He had a predatory smile on. He was in a position of strength now. He had all the cards in hand but wasn't showing them all. He had just shown them who Maxence really was, who he had forgotten he was. That revelation was big enough to keep them busy for a while.

"He was dark because of what he'd been through. He was dark because of the war he suffered from. Of course you could use it easily. But he was never an asshole. I know you were weak. You were so weak. You were nearly dead. I should've let you die, too. But I decided to help him instead. I'll stop you."

The Wolf smirked through Maxence's face. Things were getting funnier and funnier for him.

"You getting rid of me? Ah! You didn't! The reason why you still have the Good Wolf in your mind is because your so precious Doctor only removed the bad part of it. Well, I used the connection he'd created between him and you to sneak into his mind. You kept the good part of me and I corrupted his mind."

But the Doctor had sent him away. He probably didn't know that there was a human out there with the power of the Bad Wolf, a human who could either go crazy and kill himself or go bad and kill people around. The Wolf snorted. Protecting a human. How pointless.

"Didn't feel like he removed the bad part of it. I was like that at one point. The Wolf was. It was angry and hateful. It's not anymore. It's good now. You can be that way too you know."

The Bad Wolf laughed openly. Him? Being good? Never gonna happen! He loved the darkness and hate and anger too much. They were giving him power, and the power was everything he needed to get out of this weak body. Preferably before that human host died. Because the humans couldn't handle the power the Wolf was feeding itself with. It would burn through the man's veins and destroy his brain as surely as if he was taking a bullet through it. And he knew that all those persons would try and save the human, but he wouldn't let them do. Maxence Spitz was his. Until he found better. The Wolf laughed.

"Oh, that was a real slaughter and that rage inside him, that guilt, that self-hatred, I fed on it. And this human so pure, so innocent, so _weak_ is my prison until I find better. But for now, he's good enough. I'll get stronger, and soon enough, I'll have full control over him. You wouldn't try to hurt him, heh? Even if he was dead, as long as I'm wearing his face, you can't _hurt_ me."

The Wolf was openly mocking Rose. He was mocking them all, because they thought they knew it all when they knew nothing. Humans were so pointless, so stupid.

Rose wanted to protect Maxence the best she could. She wanted to help him. She wanted to reverse her mistake of making his Wolf stronger.

"I know what you fed on. He had it all there for you. But I took some of it away from helping him the way I did. Humans can't handle Time entities in their mind. You know this. You won't have full control over him because I'm gonna find a way to make you weak again. Just like you were before."

But the Wolf was right. Rose wouldn't hurt Maxence. She couldn't. Because he had the face of her precious Doctor. Because he was her Doctor. The man she first met. The man she had fallen in love with. Even if he didn't remember any of it somehow. She would regret it if she ever laid a hurtful hand on him.

"Yeah, I do know that. He's too weak for me, and that's making things easy for now. And before his brain burns, I'll be long gone to bring chaos in this town so full of hate and anger. You'll never make me weak again. I'll destroy you first."

Rose clenched her jaw a bit tighter. She doubted that the wolf inside Maxence would ever be good but it was worth a try to get it to turn to good. Rose could see that the now strong presence of the Wolf was killing Maxence and that really worried her. She couldn't do anything about it because she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to fix this.

"You won't be able to bring chaos to this town. I know someone who can stop you in your tracks. Before you kill him. You won't destroy me. You can't."

The Bad Wolf didn't believe any word she was saying and just laughed at her face when she was pronouncing them, and he was laughing to see the conflicts he was already creating around him. He was breaking them apart, and when they would all be alone, it would be easier to destroy them all. But his host was wearying. His face was showing the pain Maxence was going through from being controlled by the powerful entity and its negative feelings.

Rose tried to ignore the Wolf's laughs. She wouldn't let him break her down that easily. But he was breaking her down and she knew that. So did the Wolf, and it was laughing to get at her. They wouldn't be all alone. Rose wouldn't let him break them apart so easily.

Maxence couldn't handle the power of the Wolf. It was running through his veins. Rose had had that happen to her when she first had the Wolf and didn't know how to handle it. She knew how much pain Maxence was suffering from and she wanted to take that pain from him. She didn't want anyone else to ever experience that.

"Are you over yet?" asked Liv who was tired of that noxious game.

"Let his Wolf finish. It's just angry. That's all. That's what causing him the pain."

The Wolf struggled against Liv to get rid of her, but it was losing his power. Maxence was letting go. He couldn't handle the Wolf, couldn't handle his darkness, his hate. He was too pure, too gentle, too weak for such an entity. The bright golden eyes were slowly fading away, as the pain crushed his head. He closed his eyes tight, but Liv didn't let him go.

The human was too weak and couldn't handle the Wolf. He hadn't had much troubles when he was drinking, when the Wolf was weak, but now, it was causing it too much pain. The Wolf was done, Maxence was back. He opened his eyes. He was surprised to find himself immobilised by Liv with alcohol and shattered glass all around their feet. There was something really wrong and he didn't know what. He looked at Rose, confusion troubling his blue eyes. Rose needed to find a way to weaken his Wolf again. She needed to find a way to help him. Despite the fact that she was stuck in an institute.

"What has she done to me?" he murmured.

And no one knew if he was talking about Rose or about Nash. He looked at them all, a feeling of confusion and terror on his face. The pain in his head was terrible, and his body was trembling. Liv let him go when she felt that the threat was gone, but she reacted just as quickly as before and caught him when he collapsed.

Rose felt incredibly stupid and guilty for what she had done. She had strengthened his Wolf without knowing it while she was trying to help him. She squatted down on the floor and ran her hands hard through her hair, her nails digging into her skin.

"Nash was right. You're so stupid, Rose Tyler," she whispered to herself.

"What the hell just happened?" suddenly exclaimed Donna.

She was as confused as terrified as Maxence. She had clearly seen that it wasn't him talking, that something had taken over him, and she was terrified that it could happen again, that that Wolf could hurt her so gentle Maxence.

"Turn it off. Whatever this thing is, turn it off again," she told Rose.

"You can't just turn this off. The entity isn't something that can be turned off. It was just really weak and undetectable. But when I went to help him, the Wolf inside his head fed off of my Wolf's energy."

Donna was afraid but she walked closer to Maxence. She helped Liv laying him down on the couch. He was indeed burning hot and he was sweating a lot though he was trembling as if he was cold. Rose stood back up slowly and stretched a little.

"It was off. It wasn't there before and I want it to disappear. I want _you_ to take it off his mind _right now_!"

Donna was thinking it was Rose's fault, but it wasn't. No one could have known what was hiding into Maxence's mind. Only Nash seemed to know. Liv immediately walked to Rose and checked if she was okay, trying to reassure her.

"I can't take it off his mind, Donna! I can't even take my own damn Wolf off my mind!" Rose looked at Donna. She was powerless. "I didn't even know it was there at first. I thought it was too weak to do anything. I didn't even know it could take energy from my Wolf."

"Hey!" intervened Liv. "It's not the time to throw fists! This is not _her_ fault. She just helped him by bringing back his memories from the four days he has forgotten. You can ask him when he'll wake up. I'm sure he remembers everything." She wrapped her arms around Rose and pulled her into a hug, gently rubbing her back to help to calm down. "No one knew about this, Miss Noble. No one knew how he was gonna react, and I'm sorry to hear that he's the Wolf's other half, because it means he's gonna suffer as much as Miss Tyler is suffering right now. She has no control on this. It's part of their mind and they have to live with it, struggling against the power of it, even if it's very hard. And I'm sorry to tell you this, but even if you don't like that, the doctor Spitz and miss Tyler will see each other again, and they're somehow connected. No need to lash out on her."

Rose just listened to Liv's reassurance, but it wasn't working. She was close to breaking down at this point. Maxence and Donna were saying mean things to her and thinking she was crazy.

Liv kept her voice quiet though she was pretty angry about Donna's reaction. It wasn't Rose's fault at all. Everything was blaming her when she wasn't responsible for all that situation. Just like Maxence, she was a victim of that curse.

Rose picked at her fingers furiously and made them bleed quickly, chewing her bottom lip hard. Even if she felt like it was her fault, it wasn't. She would defend herself if needed, but she hoped they wouldn't have to come to that eventuality. She slowly wrapped her arms around Liv in return, sighing at the backrub. She was still tense, but the backrub relaxed her some.

No one knew about it. No one knew about the other half of the Wolf. But now they did. It was sad to know that Maxence was gonna suffer as much as Rose was right now. It really was hard and it really did hurt. They couldn't get rid of it. It was something they were stuck with. Forever. It was hard to struggle against the power some days.

"I can't control the Wolf inside me. I'm stuck with it. You don't understand how hard it is."

Rose let out a silent whimper. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on Liv's shoulder for more support. Liv was really the only person she could count on right now and she was glad to have her by her side or she would have broken down a while ago.

"Thank you, for sticking up for me," Rose murmured to Liv quietly.

"Always. I said I'd protect you. This is what I'm doing."

Donna didn't reply, but she didn't apologize either. She was too hurt, too scared and too angry at that present moment to think about anything else but Maxence and the mysteries around him. She was even more worried about him now.

"You, Rose Tyler, are not responsible of this," declared a sudden voice behind them.

They looked up at the tall man wearing a pinstriped suit and a long brown coat who had entered the flat.

"I can't remove the Wolf from him. It's been there for too long. It would kill him for sure. I can lock it away in a part of his mind though."

"Why should we trust you? Where are you coming from anyway?"

That man was familiar looked familiar to Donna. Somehow. She must have seen him somewhere. He looked like Maxence's brother, Tegan, but he was thinner and his fashion sense was far from being as good as Tenny's. A suit. With Converses. Tenny would never do such a thing. Rose turned around to face him and her heart fell in her chest. She hadn't expected him to come back. What was he doing there and now? Hadn't he done enough harm to her?

"Doctor?" She choked on the word. "What are you doing here? You left me years ago."

It hurt to see him again because of what he did to her and what pain he caused her. He wasn't even looking at her. He was looking at everyone but her, as if it would have killed him to see what he had done to her.

"It doesn't matter."

"He can help, Donna. I know he can. I used to travel with him. This is the Doctor. He knows what he's talking about. Let him help. It won't take long and it shouldn't cause your boyfriend any pain."

The Doctor swallowed. He wasn't supposed to be anywhere near Donna Noble. She wasn't even supposed to see him. If she remembered him, it would kill her. He would have to erase all their memories of him when he would leave so it wouldn't cause any more trouble. Rose chewed the inside of her cheek as the golden glow in her eyes became a bit sad. She couldn't believe that the Doctor was there and standing in front of her.

The emotions of being around new people and new surroundings and having the Doctor there were too much for Rose. And the Wolf knew it. It was trying to keep Rose calm. But it wasn't working well. Rose looked away from the Doctor and glanced at Liv sadly. She didn't look at the Doctor anymore and let her gaze drop to the floor.

"I caught his distress signal."

The Doctor was staring at Maxence's unconscious form. He walked close to him and put his fingers on his temple before anyone could do anything.

"It's gonna be quick. I don't know about the pain though."

He was already siphoning the Wolf's energy out of Maxence, and locking the entity into a part of his mind he wouldn't be able to reach alone. He noticed all the pain colouring his mind, and him playing with it right now wasn't helping. The Doctor pulled back and the whimpers stopped.

"I locked it away. It shouldn't come back anytime soon."

And then, he just disappeared. Rose nodded lightly at his words, and stayed where she was, falling completely silent at this point. She figured being silent would be best so she wouldn't cause anymore issues or say the wrong thing.

Everyone had already forgotten about the Doctor, as if he had never been here. He had erased their memories so discreetly that they hadn't noticed it and had just gotten back to their lives. Everyone, except for Rose. She remembered the Doctor being there. She couldn't forget something like that. She couldn't forget him. Never. She just got back to her normal life because she didn't want to dwell on the fact that he had been right there. Right in front of her.

Donna knelt down and picked up all the broken glass before anyone got hurt. She threw it all in the dustbin and cleaned the alcohol that had spread everywhere silently. Joanne walked to Rose when she noticed she was hurt.

"I know it's not your fault. It's okay. We're gonna help you."

Donna just didn't understand what was going on and she had been afraid to see her boyfriend in such a condition. That was the reason why she was reacting so violently, but she would calm down later, and would apologise. Joanne went to the bathroom to pick up the first aid kid and came back in the living. She walked close to Liv and Rose.

Rose picked at her fingers harder and chewed on her lip, making it bleed as much as her fingers. She noticed Joanne grab the first aid kit but assumed it was for Maxence. And not for herself. She had been afraid to see her friend and therapist in such a condition. She understood why Donna was acting the way she was. She didn't blame her. She would give Donna the time she needed to calm down before apologizing. She would explain what everything meant if she had to. If Donna was so keen on wanting to know what it all meant.

"Can you keep an eye on Maxence please?" she asked Liv. "Since you're a nurse, you probably know better than me…"

"I can do it."

"I'll take care of Miss Tyler. If she allows me to. Boo-boos are my specialty as a mother. I'll make some tea to help everyone relax."

Liv sensed that she could trust Joanne, that she wouldn't hurt Rose or tell her anything mean. She could sense that the woman was gentle and caring and that she would just take care of Rose like a mother would. It was up to Rose though, so as long as she didn't gave her answer, Liv kept her in her arms to help her relax with the backrub.

Rose swallowed quietly and stayed in Liv's arms. Of course boo-boos were a mother's specialty. She sensed that she too could trust Joanne and that she wouldn't hurt her or tell her anything mean. Rose needed to relax and calm down. She felt incredibly overwhelmed by the whole situation.

"Call me Rose, please. I've been called 'Miss Tyler' for five years. Along with quite a list of other things."

Rose relaxed a bit more at the backrub before she slowly pulled away from the hug so Liv could go take care of Maxence. She scratched at her hands to try and hide her trembling and anxiety.

"Okay, Rose. I'm Joanne."

"Nice name."

The mother didn't say anything about the fact she had been in that institute for years. That was what Joanne assumed from her words at least. Five years ago, Maxence was struggling to get away from the alcohol and drugs and Rose was being locked away in a mental institute. Life had obviously been hard on them.

Liv looked briefly at Rose to make sure that she was okay before walking to Maxence and taking care of him. Joanne watched her for a bit and looked back at Rose. She took her hands gently while Donna was going into her room. She needed some time alone.

"Don't worry about Donna, Rose. Just like me, she doesn't understand, and she reacts quite violently but she's not a bad girl. She's gonna apologise to you when she will feel better. Maxence is gonna apologise to you too. I guess he's gonna feel horribly guilty if he remembers that part."

"It's hard not to worry. But I won't. Maybe I can set you all down before I have to leave and I can help explain things a little better. So things aren't so confusing." She breathed deeply. "Donna doesn't seem like a bad girl and I'm sure that they'll apologize to me when they'll be ready. They need time. I understand. And I'm sure he will feel guilty if he remembers what he's done."

"I think it's too early for us to understand. You might try and try again to explain us, and we still won't understand. I guess we just need some time to figure it out. There's a lot of strange and unexplainable things in the world. This was just one of them. Terrifying though. I hope it won't happen again. We won't be able to have any control in him, and I'm afraid of what he could do."

"I think it's too early for anyone to understand too and that's alright. Maybe you guys just need time to think about it. Even though you guys know very little. Same with your son. He gave you very little to think of too. But I think it'll make sense to you all soon enough. I don't think it'll happen again. I hope not. I know what he could do. You don't want this to happen again. It really is terrifying."

"Let's hope. I don't know. Maybe we should get ready in case it happens again. I don't know what we could possibly do against that Wolf if it ever comes back."

"I don't know either. I don't think there's anything we could do against the wolf if it comes back again. We should get prepared in case this happens again though. That would be a good idea."

Joanne really hoped it wouldn't because it hurt a lot to see her little boy so full of rage and hate for everyone. She had often talked about another Wolf, one who would be in her own mind, and Joanne had seen her eyes go golden earlier. She had stood up against the other Wolf who had taken over Maxence. She maybe knew how to have a certain control over that thing.

It hurt Rose to see her therapist and friend so full of rage, hate, and anger too. She didn't want that to happen again. From what Maxence had said earlier, he had one half of the Wolf in his mind and Rose had the other. Maxence's Wolf was gone for now but Rose's was still there. It was still watching over her and ready to protect her in a moment. The golden glow in her eyes was calmer compared to earlier though.

Joanne gently led Rose to the kitchen and made her sit on a chair. First, she cleaned the blood with some water. Then, she took some disinfectant. Rose followed Joanne to the kitchen and sat down in the chair when Joanne made her and let her clean her hands.

"It's gonna hurt a little."

Joanne was talking to Rose like you would talk to a kid to help her to relax. She applied the cotton of disinfectant on her fingers and hands to clean the wounds. She was being soft and gentle, just like she was with her children.

Rose clenched her jaw at the pain. She let out a small grunt and sighed. She was thankful for the gentleness and softness. It was nice to have after years of abuse. She observed Joanne as she took care of her.

In the meanwhile, Liv was taking care of Maxence. He was feverish, but the fever was quickly lowering so it was a good sign. His heartbeats and breathing were back to normal. He seemed to be okay. She wondered for a moment what was under the bandage on his chest but didn't dare looking, though it needed to be changed. It was a bit embarrassing to see him shirtless to be honest.

"You're doing good in recovery, mister Spitz," she murmured.

Maxence's eyes slowly fluttered open and he grunted at the headache he still had. His look fell on Liv, and he was really surprised to find her there, in his home. How had she found him?

"Liv?" he croaked.

"At least, you're recognising me."

"'f course I do."

He groaned again. His own voice was unbearable for his head. Liv pulled out some pills from her pocket to help him with his headache but he gently caught her hand.

"I can't take them." He swallowed. His throat was so dry, it hurt. "I've been a junkie," he admitted.

Rose was glad that Maxence was slowly getting better and that he was back to normal again. It was relieving to know that her help had worked. Even if they hit a few bumps along the way. She had to admit one thing though – to herself because it would be too embarrassing to say it out loud – Maxence looked handsome shirtless. Even if it was a little embarrassing to see him that way. Joanne gently put some band aids on Rose's fingers and rubbed her hands with some cream.

"There. It's all better."

"Thank you."

Joanne put everything back in the kit and threw everything that needed to be thrown into the dustbin. She looked over at Maxence and Liv before starting to make some tea. She smiled when she saw that he was awake.

"And thank you. For being nice to me. It is appreciated."

"Why would I be rude to you?"

Joanne was sincerely surprised by her thanks. Being gentle was something normal to her. How could she be rude to someone she barely knew? It was non-sense.

"Because others have been mean to me. Total strangers have been mean to me. I've gotten used to people being mean to me sadly. I've gotta get used to the gentleness and kindness again."

"I'm so sorry people treated you so badly."

She was honest. Rose needed to be protected and Joanne was sure that Maxence had seen it too and that he was gonna protect her from all those bad people in the institute. She knew it for sure. That's how he was. He always got in fight for people he liked.

"Thanks. I'm quite used to it by now sadly. It's not fair but I don't have a say in it either."

"No one should get used to the nastiness of other people. No one should even be the target of that nastiness."

It was disgusting her to see that some people loved being mean to others just for fun. Joanne had learned over the years that the bullies were usually people who felt bad in their own skin, people who were actually more scared than the person they were bullying. As a teacher in a primary school, she had had to deal with cases of bullying sometimes, and now it was part of her educational programme. She was booking an hour every once in a while to talk to the kids she had in charge about bullying. It was awful to think that adults could do it too. In a much more hurtful way.

"I know. No one should ever get used to it. It's quite a sad thing. But I have. I had no choice but to adjust to it."

Rose shrugged sadly. People did bully others for fun and it was mean. It wasn't right at all. Bullying wasn't something Rose could ignore. She couldn't ignore the words and other things they had said to her. She sadly believed everything they had said of her.

Rose glanced at Maxence and Liv too and smiled a bit when she saw he was awake. It was nice to see that he was okay again. That he was himself again.

"I know your son's going through withdrawal," murmured Rose. "It's kinda obvious. I know how he feels. I'm going through it too."

"Oh," Joanne replied to Rose. "He's been struggling against it for five years now. There are good days, and bad days. It's been more bad days than good days lately. It's gonna pass. As usual."

"It'll pass. I'm going through withdrawal too. It'll get better. It just takes time."

"Yeah. In a day or two, he should be much better. We just have to watch over him and make sure he's not gonna give in and dive back into his old habits."

Joanne was proud of her son for refusing even some aspirin. Now that she had more keys in hand, she was convinced that he wasn't responsible for the drugs found in his blood. She didn't have the proof of it, but she believed her son now. He hadn't done anything. He was still struggling. Liv put the pills back in her pocket.

"You know there's no risk with taking some aspirin."

"Better not try though. Keep your voice quiet. I'll be okay."

Maxence sat down slowly. Liv got up and took the first aid kit in the kitchen. She gave a small smile to Rose – and Rose smiled back at her surprisingly – and walked back to Maxence. He didn't complain when she took care of his bloody arm. He had closed his eyes again and seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

"Something happened," he suddenly said. "I've been awful to you, haven't I? I can be really rude when I feel as miserable as right now."

Joanne winked at Rose when Maxence admitted that he had been rude to Liv. He felt bad. Just like his mother said he would.

"See? Told you. He's a nice guy deep down."

Rose looked at Joanne again. She didn't move from her chair. She was just glad that everything was getting back to normal slowly. That people were healing slowly. She winked back at Joanne.

"I know he is. He proved that to me the first day we met. Thought it was a dream at first. But it wasn't. I'm just glad he's alright again. Watch over him and take good care of him. Like you've always done. He'll be better and back to good health soon enough."

"We'll do just that. He's in good hands. You are too."

Joanne wasn't just talking about Liv. She was also talking about Maxence. And Rose probably had a family caring for her somewhere.

"Yeah. They've both proven it to me."

Rose knew that Maxence was a nice guy. He really seemed like a nice guy. He had been awful to them but she didn't wanna admit it. Neither did the Wolf. Rose felt tired from the events that occurred there, but she wasn't ready to leave yet. She didn't wanna leave until Liv said it was time.

Rose stood up carefully from the chair and stretched slowly, putting the chair back where it belonged and dumped her cold tea since she knew Joanne was gonna make more.

Joanne observed the kettle for a moment, listening the water slowly boiling inside, and looked back at Rose with an idea in mind.

"Do you think you could help him?"

It was weird asking such a question to Maxence's patient. He was supposed to be the one helping her, but if they could help each other… Maybe it was meant to be. Maybe they were meant to meet each other, and to help each other.

"I mean, with… With the Wolf. Could you help him to get some control over it if it happened again?"

Maybe Rose could help with Maxence's wolf. She had never tried helping another entity so she didn't know if she could have a certain control over the Wolf.

"I-I-I don't know", stammered Rose. "I could certainly try to control that Wolf and help him with it in case it comes back."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. But you're welcome. It's what friends do for each other. They help one another. But the Doctor trapped it in his mind anyway. So he shouldn't have trouble with it anymore. But I can help him gain control over it if that does happen again."

Rose swallowed a bit. She looked over at Liv and Maxence when she heard her name mentioned. She was glad to see him looking better again – even if he looked even more miserable than before, he, at least, wasn't rude anymore – and back to his senses. He indeed would have to make himself forgiven first. Rose wanted an apology for everything he had said to her and for how he had treated her.

"The Doctor?"

Joanne didn't remember seeing any doctor around – except for Maxence and Liv – so what was Rose talking about? But she was glad that Rose was accepting to help Maxence as much as she could anyway.

"Whoever it is, he made us forget about him, didn't he? I have no memory of seeing anyone else in the flat," she admitted.

"Yes, he did. He made you all forget. But I can't forget because of the Wolf in my head. It made sure the Doctor couldn't wipe it from my mind. But he helped out some."

Rose hadn't remembered at first, but it had come back to her. It wasn't surprising that the others didn't remember though. So she wouldn't mention much about it. Now, Rose was more than willing to help Maxence. Like he had helped her.

Joanne nodded, unsure about the Doctor's part, but she had no reason to doubt the girl. She didn't know her very well of course, but she knew deep down that she could trust Rose Tyler. And Rose was thankful that Joanne believed her even if it did sound weird and unbelievable. She was thankful that Joanne believed her even if she didn't know that well.

"Need any help?" she asked Joanne softly.

"No," she answered, shaking her head. "It's alright. All done. But thanks."

"Okay. You're welcome."

Maxence wasn't aware of the talk happening in the kitchen. He was too focused on not having his head explode because of how much it hurt. He felt Liv as she took care of his arm and hand and cleaned them and bandaged them.

"There. You're all fixed."

"Almost," he joked lightly.

"Sure about the aspirin?"

"I'm too vulnerable right now. Anything could make me go back into it. I'd rather not take any risk. I have words to keep. Miss Tyler is counting on me."

"Well, you might have to make yourself forgiven first."

"What?"

Maxence raised an eyebrow and grunted. Everything hurt.

"Don't you remember?" asked Liv to Maxence at the same time.

"I have some flashes but that's all. If you don't mind, I won't try and remember right now. It'll come back later."

He hoped though. It wouldn't be the first time he would forget something and never get the memory back. He was still missing two years of his life after all.

"She's here, you know? You were being stubborn so I made you sign an authorisation for her to come to you."

Maxence opened his eyes slowly.

"You did take her outside?" He was smiling a bit. It was a good news. "How did she react? Damn, I need my notepad and pen."

He tried to get up but Liv refused. He wasn't in the condition to move at all. He needed to stay on that couch and to get as much rest as he could. Since he had a terrible headache, it was better for him not to move at all for a while.

"I'll write it all for you later. You stay here."

She explained him what other things she had done for Rose while he was away. It was good, very good and he was happy to hear that he had chosen the right person to watch over Rose while he was gone. Liv had even done more than he had expected from her.

"I don't want to stay here," Maxence complained after Liv's tale. "I need to take a shower and pull a shirt on. I also have to eat something and to get back to work. I've stayed there for too long now."

"You're not moving."

"Write it all down for me. I'll be right back."

Maxence got up though Liv was trying to prevent him from doing so, and stumbled to his bedroom to get some clean clothes before heading to the bathroom. Donna followed him to be sure he wouldn't be alone. Liv sighed.

"He's quite stubborn," she remarked, walking to the kitchen.

"Always have been. He knows what he wants and wouldn't let anyone stop him."

Joanne smiled. It also meant he was back to being himself. She filled some cups with tea and put them down on the table.

Rose chuckled briefly as Liv's remark. She didn't know if he would be ready to go back to work so fast like he wanted to. He really was in a bad shape right now.

"Yes he is. But he's a good guy nonetheless."

Rose took a cup of tea and wrapped her hands around it. She was cold again. She exhaled softly. She was glad that everyone was calming down and that they could get along. Now, she could get some peace and maybe relax a bit. At least, try.


	14. Headache

**Title : How would you feel.**

 **Number of parts : 14/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Joanne didn't even know if Rose was good in drawing or else, but if doing some signs for Maxence was helping her, she wasn't gonna say no to her help. She would be glad to have helped Rose, even if it was with a very small thing. The more people would support her, the more she would be protected from her bullies. And if she was good at drawing, supporting her work would also be a way to help her feeling better."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 14: HEADACHE

Joanne observed Rose for a moment, thinking about all the things she had told her earlier. As a mother, she knew that if Maxence knew for the bad treatments Rose seemed to be suffering from, he would stand up to anyone and protect Rose from the bullies. That's just how he was. That's what he had done for Tenny years ago. Joanne could tell for sure that he had already started making Rose's life better. The girl was so pale that she probably hadn't seen the sun in ages. That was surely the first time she was coming out of the institute in years. It was surprising that she was handling it so well. Joanne didn't know that Rose had already had a panic attack but had hidden it well so they wouldn't have to go back to the institute sooner than needed. She was still nervous and was trying to hide that too. She was very surprised herself that she was doing so well too. But the Wolf was helping a lot.

"Maxence sometimes likes to think that he's infallible, but he knows he isn't. And now, he can't make you think he is. I guess his experience is what will make him a good therapist. He wanted to help people, the job has come to his mind almost immediately."

"No one is. I knew he wasn't but he is a good therapist. I'm glad he wanted to help people. It's a good job to have."

Joanne gave a cup of tea to Liv and took one for her. She remained silent for a few minutes. She had nothing more to say. Rose and Liv either. After what had happened earlier, a bit of calm was gladly taken. They were all sipping their teas slowly. Only the running water of the shower was audible. After a long moment, the shower stopped.

"Maxence, be careful…" There was a loud bang. "To the door."

"Oi!"

Joanne sighed. "That damn door again."

Maxence certainly had hit the shower door once again. It was something he was doing all the time. They heard him complain about the pain. Rose chuckled briefly and rubbed her forehead lightly.

"His headache won't be better after this."

"Good thing I'm a nurse then," chuckled Liv. "I'll take care of that small boo-boo."

"Too tall for the flat I assume. Liv's good about nursing. She'll take care of the boo-boo in no time."

"This was the shower door. He always forgets about it. Donna always has to tell him. She wasn't quick enough this time."

"I can tell he always forgets about that door. Sounded pretty painful. You should put some signs up for him."

Joanne chuckled. It indeed sounded pretty painful. As usual. Maybe more this time because of the headache he was already suffering from.

"Yeah. I already told Donna to do so. We've got some things to make it at the school we're working in. It's easier, but none of us had the time so far."

"I see. I'd make you all some signs for him if you'd like. But I don't know if they'd ever get to you. Hopefully the signs work for him."

"That would be great, and highly appreciated from him, I guess. At least, he never broke his nose on that door. We are all afraid it might happen one day if he keeps hitting it."

"The safety box will be just perfect to hide them from Nash and the others."

Liv was glad she had that idea. She could give Rose some things for her to draw and keep her mind busy, and some other things that she could need without the other nurses taking it away from her. Liv could have asked a transfer when she realised that it wouldn't be a great place to work but when she had met Rose, she knew she had to stay to help her the best she could, and that was what she was doing. Rose just had to ask for Liv to try and get what she wanted, if she could have it.

"I'd be happy to do it for him. It'll keep my mind busy from other things. I've been drawing a lot so it'll be nice to have something else to draw. Hopefully he doesn't break his nose. That would really hurt."

"Thank you. It will be highly appreciated."

Joanne didn't even know if Rose was good in drawing or else, but if doing some signs for Maxence was helping her, she wasn't gonna say no to her help. She would be glad to have helped Rose, even if it was with a very small thing. The more people would support her, the more she would be protected from her bullies. And if she was good at drawing, supporting her work would also be a way to help her feeling better.

"You're welcome, Joanne. Anything to help him out. Don't want him hitting his head too hard. He needs that."

"If you see him with a big bandage on the face, it means the signs wouldn't have been enough."

They all hoped it wouldn't happen. He had to be careful. Very careful. He needed his head to help the people he was in charge of, of people he would be in charge of in the future. So it was better for him not to bang it too hard.

"Bright and colourful. Perfect. Exactly what he needs. He's a bit short-sighed without his glasses."

And he was always losing his glasses. Joanne was sure that he didn't know where they were right now. He was gonna need them though. He couldn't watch TV or read or go on his laptop without them.

"Okay. I'll remember that. I hope the signs will work. I'll make them bright and colourful. I'll make sure he can see them well with and without his glasses. I know he needs them. He had trouble finding them the first day we met. But he found them."

Joanne laughed. It was so usual of Maxence to lose his glasses when he needed them a lot to do everyday things. He had never needed them before but when he came back after he had disappeared for two years – two years Joanne had spent looking for him before he came back home with no memories and looking miserable as hell – they had found out that he didn't see much without them. They had also found out that he had a major brain injury that they couldn't heal, a brain injury that was most likely responsible for his amnesia, and they had all told them that he would probably never remember anything.

"I bet they were on his head. That's usually where he put them, and he always forgets that he put them there."

How many times had they laughed because they were looking at him cursing because he couldn't find then when they were on his head.

"Exactly I had a teacher who used to put them on their head all the time and would get really mad when he'd lose them, only to realize they were on his head the whole time."

"Seems like it's typical to people wearing glasses. Looking for them all the time. It's not like keys and phone that you can make ring to find them. He has two pairs but he likes that one better."

Joanne shrugged lightly. She remembered when he used to hit every furniture and door after he came back because he didn't see very well. She had forced him to go to the doctor although he didn't want to go outside the house. He was shocked, a deep shock no one could understand back then. And no one understood it better now. It was a mystery, and they never managed to solve it.

"Those glasses look nice on him though. Wonder why he doesn't like the other pair."

"When you've got two same things, there's still one you love more than the other. I guess that works for glasses too."

Maxence used to have a good eyesight, but after he knocked himself out – and hurt himself too – by tripping over a coffee table in his mother's living, they had realised that it wasn't the case anymore. He had changed a lot after his come back, and sometimes Joanne didn't recognise him. She still remembered her poor boy coming back home after two years. He was wearing rags. He was confused and cold and hungry and so shocked that it had taken him months to get better. Months in which he had remained desperately silent, in which he had kept being sick, but she had taken care of him all along until he felt better. She was glad to see him now, to know that he was doing so well after he had gone through hell.

Sometimes people experienced things and it forever changed them. Like Rose and being in a mental hospital for five years. She was really scared to go out in public alone. She got nervous whenever people would get angry. She was sometimes scared of herself. The list went on. And her history with dating the opposite sex… Jimmy Stone was an example. Someone she tried not to talk about. He was a horrible man and she hoped that he was in jail. She had gone silent for a whole year because she had been scared and because her words didn't matter. So, she knew how that was in a way.

There was more noise in the bathroom, and finally, Maxence got out of the room, rubbing his face. He was wearing sweatpants and a shirt close to his body. He hadn't taken the time to comb his hair so it was messy. He hadn't shaved either. He still was a mess, but a better mess.

"Damn door!" he cursed.

"How many times did we tell you to be careful?" asked Donna from the bathroom.

"I keep forgetting about it. Let's put a warning."

Maxence walked to the kitchen. He wasn't wearing any shoes of socks. He was bare feet. He came close to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. He hugged her and nuzzled her neck.

"You know where the ice is now," she said gently to him.

"I don't think that's gonna work this time, that headache is terrible."

He kissed his mother's head and let her go. He grabbed a cup of tea and drank a large part of it while it was still hot. He sat down on a chair and looked at Rose.

"Easy, Maxence," Joanne warned him.

"Careful," added Rose.

Maxence ran a hand through his hair, not even trying to comb it. It was still a bit wet. He sipped some of the tea slower, smiling a bit as both Rose and Joanne told him to go slower. He was thirsty, and he just loved tea. That's why he was drinking it so quick. Rose drummed her bandaged fingers briefly against the tea cup and smiled a bit at Maxence's smile. It was nice to see him smile again.

"Nice to see you out. How's going this little walk outside?"

Liv hit his arm and Maxence winced. He rubbed his arm, complaining about Liv hurting him.

"I told you I was gonna write it all down. No work for you until you feel better."

"She's right, love," agreed Donna who joined them in the kitchen.

She sat down on Maxence's lap. He wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer. Rose looked at him and smiled a bit. He looked better. Even if his hair was a mess.

"It's nice to be out. It's going okay. I've had more attacks that I've had to hide than what I'd like to admit while being out today," she replied before turning to Liv. "That's the only question I'll answer that's related to his work. No more will be answered 'til he's back."

Maxence needed to take a break and wait until he was fully healed.

"Good. It's perfectly normal. You've been in that damn hospital for years. Quite a huge change for you. You'll be better with time. I'm glad Liv made you come out of this place for a few hours. Means I can add some things to your therapy."

"Yup. It indeed is a big change. I was nervous enough just to be out of the room. I'm glad she made me come out of that place too. It's nice to have some fresh air."

Rose only wondered what he would add to her therapy. The thought made a brief spark of gold form in her eyes, but vanished as quick as it came.

"Yeah, that's understandable, but you're doing quite well. Too bad the weather is so bad. We could have taken a walk."

"Thank you. I'm trying the best I can. Still very nerve racking though."

"No, you couldn't have." Donna was contradicting him. "Dinner and then, you go to bed. You need to rest."

"No," Rose sighed. "No walks. You need to rest and I don't think I'm ready for that quite yet. I'll be clinging to Liv most likely. Like I did when we left the hospital."

Maxence complained about them telling what he had to do, things he didn't want to do, causing Rose to smirk at his childish behaviour. He hated just staying in bed when he felt good. He wanted to do things, to move. Joanne smiled. He was just like a kid sometimes and she liked it. It was always funny to watch.

"I didn't hit my head so hard. It happens all the time. I'm not dead yet."

"Could happen if you're not careful. You could damage your head permanently."

Maxence rolled his eyes to Liv's words. He was perfectly fine.

"You hit your head so hard against the door we could've heard it outside the apartment. So, Liv's right. No work 'til you're healed. You need to rest. Cuddle with your girlfriend and enjoy the time off."

"I'm perfectly able to work."

"You're not. You still have that headache, and we all heard you hit that door."

"Damn door," he muttered.

"Which means your headache is worse than earlier."

"I'll be fine, thank you."

"They're all right, love," murmured Donna into his ear. "You've been through a lot lately. You need some rest now." She cuddled into him.

"I am good."

"But be careful. You could get permanent head damage. I know that. But I'm sure you won't get that. You seem like a healthy guy."

"None of you is fun, but I get the point. Mum almost killed me when I told her I was driving a motorcycle."

"I still don't like it."

"I know. Donna doesn't either. But I like it."

"I like motorcycles too," said Liv.

"Me too," Rose added. "I've never ridden one. But I like them."

"And you don't want to ride one, believe me. Those things are terrifying."

"I'd like to one day though. They don't look too terrifying."

"Ah, maybe Liv or I will take you for a ride one day. If you trust us enough to do so."

"You're a good driver, love, I just don't trust your death machine," argued his mother.

"I'd love that. I trust you guys enough to do that. I can't wait until that day comes."

"That always has been like this," chuckled Liv. "The pros and the cons. We can't do much to convince either side. Everyone stays on their position. If we were all sharing the same opinion about things, the world would be boring."

"True."

"That's very true. So it's nice to have disagreements and agreements. So the world isn't so boring."

"Anyway, I brought your motorcycle back along with your stuff," Liv finally cut short.

"We made sure it was safe and away from Nash."

"Great!" Maxence grinned at her. "Thank you very much for bringing those back to me. I would have had to do all my IDs again otherwise."

"You should do them all over again anyway. How many addresses have you had in your life?"

Maxence scratched the back of his head.

"Well, errr… Yes, I always say that I need to do it but I never have the time to."

"You're pretty hard to find."

"But you did find me."

"Thankfully."

"I kept asking everyday if she had found you. Thankfully she found you."

"Right. Thanks for keeping my things safe. I'm glad to have them back. I'll update my addresses so you won't have to look so hard for me a second time."

"We won't be looking for you a second time. This won't happen again. I won't let it. Neither will Liv. But you're welcome for keeping your things safe. Nash thought I hid them when Liv actually did."

"Mummy and Donna and Liv will make sure I'll never disappear ever again. Whatever Nash will try about me."

Just thinking about how had Nash electrocuted him made his headache worse. He groaned and a weak golden spark appeared into his eyes to disappear just as quickly as it appeared. He would keep quiet about what had been done to him. No need to worry his mother or girlfriend. He was okay.

"I know they will. I'll try to prevent it too. You'll never disappear again. Not with any of us around. No matter what Nash tries. She won't be able to stop me from doing my lame job."

Rose would do something against Nash if she had to. If she tried to take Maxence from her again, Rose would turn her into a vegetable for sure. She could wipe her memory in a snap. No one was taking away her last shot of getting out of the institute. She needed Maxence. He was gonna help her and improve her therapy. She wanted to stay in the same room she was in until the day she left that place. And she would stay there. No matter what. They wouldn't put her back in that horrible, horrible room.

"You don't do a lame job. You're doing your best in the conditions you have."

"And there were priorities," added Liv.

"Well, one step at a time. First, we're working hard to make you get out of this place and then, we'll see what we can do to improve your therapy. Safe and slow things first. Dangerous and fast things later."

Maxence didn't know if they would be able to do anything against Nash if she decided to take him back to the yellow room and he wasn't sure if his brain would survive that treatment a second time. It would probably leave him totally amnesiac, or it would burn his brain and make him a real vegetable. His headache became worse when the spark appeared once again as if someone was putting needles through his brain, but it disappeared quickly. For now, he had no memories to have been the real Bad Wolf and no one was gonna tell him. It was better if he remembered on his own. Then, they would talk to him and figure out how to free him from its influence.

"One step at a time. Please. Work on getting me out first and then we can find things to do to improve different things. Push me too far and I'll panic. Safe and slow, then fast and dangerous."

"I'm not gonna push you too far or too fast. You already did a huge step today. Without my help."

Well, it wasn't exactly true since he had signed the paper but he wasn't aware of what he was doing. And right now, he would do the same because of that damn headache. He couldn't even think properly.

"Good. I know you won't. You don't seem like the kind of person who would do so. I had help from Liv to take that huge step."

"Relax, take it easy," he joked.

"That's Mika," replied Donna.

"Who's Mika?" asked Liv.

"A singer. You've probably heard the song somewhere."

"If I've said _Hakuna Matata_ , you would have guessed that I was a _Lion King_ fan?"

All the women laughed at his answer and he just smiled. Laughing wouldn't help with his headache.

"Yes. I love the _Lion King_. I haven't watched it in a long time. Good movie. Love the song too."

"In a long time? We should watch it again. Maybe during a session. They wouldn't come and watch what we're doing right?"

"Yup. I haven't seen it in over five years. I'd love to watch it sometime. Maybe during a session if you want. If you're allowed to."

Maxence grinned at Rose who grinned back at him and Liv rolled her eyes.

"We definitely have to do that. I don't care what they will say anyway. _Lion King_ is full of lessons. Let's throw a _Hakuna Matata_ in that damn place."

Rose smiled. "Oh yay. I can't wait for that session. I don't care what they'll say either. Maybe Liv can join us too."

"Maybe. Depends if I'm working or not. If Nash is around. Someone has to keep her busy while you're doing your job."

"That would be nice. But I understand if you're not able to. Because I know you'll have to keep Nash distracted and all. It would be nice if you were working and were able to watch with us though without any worries of Nash."

Liv looked at Maxence. She was sure that Nash wasn't done yet with him, and she was afraid of what she could do to him. Now that she had woken up the Bad Wolf that was sleeping into his mind, she could be up to anything. Even manipulating him. She seemed to know his Wolf pretty well too. Liv had to know why and how she managed to know so much about Maxence Spitz. And keeping Nash busy while Maxence was helping Rose was a nice way to help them both.

Donna laughed. So did Rose. The girlfriend kissed Maxence's head softly. She stroked his face. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

"It's so like you. Helping people with a _Disney_."

" _Disney_ does help people," declared Rose. "So I don't blame him for using it."

"Maxence uses _Disney_ for everything. I don't blame him though. He's a big child inside. It could be a bad thing but he has that perfect balance between the childish attitude and the adult one. That's how he's got me in the end."

"I don't blame him either. I love _Disney_. I've always wondered if they've made any more movies. I love people who have that perfect balance between the childish and adult attitude."

"They've made more movies. I need my every year _Disney_ movie." He looked thoughtful. "Five years, heh? So, 2011. _Rapunzel_ was out in 2010. There was _Winnie The Pooh_ in 2011. _Wreck-It Ralph_ in 2012. _Frozen_ in 2013." He was counting on his fingers. "There was none in 2014, but there were _Big Hero 6_ and _Inside Out_ in 2015. _Zootopia_ came out earlier this year, and _Moana_ will be out in a few days."

Liv whistled. "You indeed are a huge _Disney_ fan."

Maxence winced at the whistle and Joanne laughed softly. Maxence had always been a _Disney_ fan. She wasn't surprised that he knew all the movies that had been released in the last few years. She loved her childish Maxence, she loved how excited he could be when a new _Disney_ movie was about to be released.

"Oh _Winnie the Pooh_? I love _Winnie the Pooh_! I loved the book. Those all sound like wonderful movies. Hopefully I'll get to watch them one day soon."

Rose smiled. She wasn't surprised that he knew all the movies since he was such a _Disney_ fan. She was happy about it because she loved _Disney_ too. Rose liked her childish therapist and how big of a _Disney_ fan he was. She only wondered how excited he got when he knew that a new one was coming out in a few days.

"I think I have them all."

"Of course you have them all. Complete collection."

Maxence smiled. Point made. He could decide to take his computer and a few DVDs one day. If they were feeling rough and just needed a session to relax, it would be perfect.

"Planning on seeing the new _Disney_ with my lovely girlfriend. If she doesn't mind."

"I never mind seeing movies with you. Even if they're _Disney_ s."

He gave her a full bright smile. Those were words he loved hearing. He was irresistible after all. She couldn't resist him.

"I'm sure your girlfriend won't mind seeing a _Disney_ movie with you."

"No one minds watching a _Disney_ with you, love. As long as you're not singing."

Maxence looked offended. It wasn't his fault if he loved the _Disney_ songs.

"It took him a while before he stopped with the _Frozen_ song," laughed Joanne. "Everyone's hating that freaking song now."

"Not because of me. Everyone loves the movie, and the song even more. It's one of the best _Disney_ after all. And you love me singing."

"Not all the time, no."

"I love singing the songs," said Rose. "I'd love watching _Disney_ movies with him too if we'd met each other sooner so we could've been friends outside of the hospital."

There was definitely common points between Rose Tyler and Maxence Spitz. If they had met before, and in other circumstances, they would have been good friends. Instead, they were sharing a professional relationship. Much to Donna's relief. She didn't want anyone to steal her Max from her. She loved him so much that it would destroy her if they had to break up.

Rose wanted a relationship like that. But she doubted that she would ever get in a relationship like that. No one would want someone like her who had been through what she had been through. She was damaged. Badly. Even if she didn't show it.

"We went to the cinema for our first date together," he remembered.

"Yeah, and you insisted on watching _Inside Out_."

"Which is a very good movie."

"True, but still."

"Come on, I've watched a lot of romantic movies with you too."

"After a lot of romantic dinners. I have to admit you're a good boyfriend."

Maxence smiled and kissed her softy. He had never been into a serious relationship before Donna. He had never wanted to settle down and have a family either. But now that he had certificates and an almost stable job, he felt like he could have it. Donna moved in with him over a year ago now, and they were just as happy as the first day.

Rose smiled. They seemed to really love each other and she was happy for them. She admired their relationship and hoped that she could find an amazing man like Maxence when she got out of the hospital. But she just didn't know. She had had too many negative experiences with the opposite sex.

"I love being different from people. I'm so unique. That's what you like in me, don't you?" he declared with a smile.

"Yeah, I do," answered Donna, playing with his hair lightly.

"You indeed are unique. Donna is very lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have a therapist like you."

"I'm glad to hear that he's a very unique therapist, and that he's doing quite a good job so far."

Donna played with his hair, lightly rubbing his head to help with his pain. She loved the soft smile on his face. All his defences were down right now. She was seeing him the way he really was. It was surprising to see him without his walls around him while Rose and Liv were there. It meant he really trusted them.

"You're the strangest therapist I've ever worked with," commented Liv. "I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing."

"That I'm a daft man? A good thing. I do understand the patients better."

"And supporting their delirium."

"Who says it is delirium? Maybe the crazy people are the most normal people compared to the others. Right now, there's a crazy guy using a wrecking ball in my head."

"Does he sing too?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, he may be strange," intervened Rose, "but he's the only therapist who's ever helped me. He's a pretty good guy. It's a good thing that he's strange. Because he understands me."

"Shh," Maxence told Rose showing her to speak less loudly with his hand. "I appreciate your words for me, but you're gonna kill me if you speak so loud."

"Sorry…" she said softer. She knew what it was like. Loud noises bothered him because of his headache. "I'm kinda used to having to speak so loud to get my word in. Habits I've gotta break." She looked down at the ground.

"No need to with me. I'll always listen to what you have to say."

That was his job, but that was also his nature to listen to people and help them. Even when he wasn't in the mood of. Like right now.

"Anyway…" started Liv. "Maybe we will be able to do that special session later. When you'll be out of this place. And I'm sure the doctor Spitz will sign an authorisation for a permanent exit very soon."

"It's most likely what's gonna happen," he confirmed. "I'm already planning on letting you out for a few days for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Your family will be happy to see you for the holidays and I won't be too far if you need anything."

"You are Father Christmas," joked Donna.

Maxence smiled at her and kissed her. His arms were still wrapped around her waist. He nuzzled her neck gently, making her laugh.

"Wait until you found out about my Christmas gift for you."

"Oh, is there a competition? I have to find the best of gifts for you?"

"You can try, but mine will be better."

Donna was getting very curious about what he had in mind for their Christmas, and she wondered what she could possibly offer him to top his gift to her. She kissed him in return and nestled more into him.

"That would be nice. Very nice. I'd enjoy that," Rose admitted with a soft smile. "A few days for Christmas and New Year's Eve? Boy!" she exclaimed, surprised and happy all at once. "This is like an early birthday present. I'll get to be normal for a little bit and I'll get to wear normal clothes for once. I know my family will be happy for sure. I'll call you if I need anything."

Rose hadn't done Christmas shopping in years. She hadn't gotten to do a lot of things in years. But she wouldn't think about that. That would just make her sad and then, she would be gloomy for the evening. And she didn't want that. But she was happy now and she would get to see her family for Christmas. That was what mattered.

"A few days with your family for the holidays will help you. I'm sure of that. It would be unfair of me to leave you into that hospital when you're perfectly able to be out of it. I'll have to talk to your mother and friends though. I have to put some conditions, and tell them what they can and can't do." He was already planning it all. But we'll see that later," he added when he saw Liv and Donna's look.

No work. He couldn't work until he was feeling better. The message was clear.

"I agree. It'll really help me a lot. You can talk to my mother and my friends when you're fully healed. No work. None at all. You can deal with that later."

Rose gave him the same look Liv and Donna were. No work. That message was clear. Clear as day. No one was gonna let him work. No matter how badly Rose wanted to know about his decision to let her out for the holidays.

"I'll work on it. Later. In a few days. But you'll be out for Christmas, that's sure."

"Okay. Sounds good. Thank you. I'll appreciate it. I wanna be out of that hell hole for Christmas. But take care of it in a few days. Like you said."

Maxence gave in and finally stopped talking about work. He just wanted to eat now. He pretended to be sulking because they were all against him tonight. His childish side was coming back and it was motivated both by their behaviour and by his vulnerability due to his headache.

Joanne laughed a bit at the talk they were having, but Maxence's headache was worrying her. She could see that he was in pain even if he was hiding it pretty well.

"I guess it was a sign that we were both assigned to you the same week," assumed Liv. "And they're not gonna get rid of us so easily now."

Maxence closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose. Nothing seemed to work on his headache, and it was driving him really mad.

"So, for tonight, it is dinner and a lot of rest them. I hope there's a good movie on TV or I'll get bored really quickly."

"We'll find something," promised Donna.

Maxence refused to tell Rose or Liv that he already had some permanent head troubles. He had forgotten two years of his life. He had absolutely no memory of what he could have done in those two years. Never a dream, a nightmare, a flash. Nothing. He drank the rest of his tea and closed his eyes again, placing his head on Donna's shoulder.

"What's for dinner?"

Joanne smiled and Donna ran a hand through his hair, lightly massaging his head to help with the pain. He moaned lightly. It definitely helped.

"Definitely him. Always feeling the need to eat."

"I am hungry."

"You refused to eat for days, love. That's why you're so hungry."

Rose drank the rest of her tea in one drink and sighed softly. She traced the cup in her hands and smirked a little to herself for no particular reason.

"He told me that when we first met. Had a snack in his bag cause he said he always got hungry throughout the day."

Her stomach growled quietly at the mention of food. Rose blushed and bit down on her lip as everyone seemed to look at her. Looks like she was hungry too. She was embarrassed but no one was judging her. Thankfully. Maxence kept his eyes closed and kissed Donna's neck. He laughed a bit.

"I didn't have any when I came back on Saturday morning. I haven't have the time to prepare it."

He finally remembered the events of the four days he had forgotten.

"Always hungry. I've never seen someone who likes eating, who actually _eats_ so much before," remarked Donna.

"I eat a lot, and I do sports so I'm perfectly healthy."

The sports were to help him with the anger he often kept inside down. He could also eat all he wanted and not put on too much weight. He laughed and stopped quickly because it wasn't helping his headache. It was making it worse actually. He groaned. He wanted it to disappear already. It was the worst headache he ever had in his life.

"I used to be healthy too. But that kinda went away as years went by."

"We'll work on that. Nash can't do much about you anymore. She's afraid because we're standing up to her for you."

"No, she can't. Which I'm quite happy to hear. She's getting scared because I have support now. Which I'm very appreciative of."

"I couldn't let you live the way you were living when we first met. This wasn't human."

It really made him angry to think about her condition when they had met, and once again, the spark briefly appeared in his eyes. Rose studied Maxence and noticed the brief golden spark in his eyes. She didn't say a thing about it.

"They thought I deserved it. I still have nightmares about that room. It's horrible."

Rose shivered at the thought. It made her sad that they thought it was okay to keep her in that condition when it wasn't okay at all.

"You didn't. No one does. And it's never gonna happen again. I swear to God, I won't let it happen ever again."

They wouldn't throw her back to that room, he would always make sure of it. Rose Tyler was gonna stay in the room 421 until she was out of the place. Whatever Nash would have had to say about it didn't matter.

"Will you stay over for dinner?" Joanne asked Liv.

"I'm afraid we can't. I have to bring Rose back to the hospital."

"Show me the paper I've signed," ordered Maxence. "I maybe can do something about it. You can't refuse a nice meal when it's my mom cooking."

Rose covered her stomach with her hands. She frowned at Liv's words. She didn't wanna go back. Not yet. She liked being outside and away from that place. Hopefully Maxence could do something about the paper so she could stay a little longer and eat dinner with them.

"I'm not the only one being hungry."

"I'm taking care of this," Joanne told her son. "You'll eat in less than an hour."

Maxence nodded. Liv grabbed the authorization in her bag and gave it to Maxence. He kissed Donna when she let him get up and grabbed his phone and Rose's record. He went in the bedroom with all those things and closed the door behind him. He had seen that Rose didn't want to go back to her small room into the hospital. If he could get an authorisation for a late come back, it would be great. But he would probably have to fight Nash first. Hopefully the fight with Nash wouldn't be too bad. Hopefully he would win. Rose was sure he would win. He was determined.

"If he makes it to where I can stay out longer, this will be the first home cooked meal I've had in 5 years;" Rose admitted quietly.

Once in his bedroom, Maxence read all the papers and called the hospital. They tried to make him go round and round, to make him lose his time but he wasn't in the mood of being mocked. Not now that he had all his memories back. He rubbed his temples, grabbed his glasses on the bedside table and read the authorisation again. There was no hour for going back. Just the hours when the hospital was closed to the public. Liv had a pass and keys to get in without any trouble, but it was better if he called and said that Rose and she would be a little late. He picked his laptop in the living, arguing with Nash about that decision. She had been surprised to hear about him again, and to hear that he did remember everything. Absolutely everything.

Rose had a bit of a migraine, but it wasn't bothering her too much. She got the kind of headaches Maxence had every day at least. They were indescribable when it came to the pain and nothing helped. It just had to go away on its own.

"It'll be kinda useless to give me my withdrawal pill. 'Cause I won't be sleeping tonight. Not with how the Wolf is acting. Lots to process. It'll take it a bit to calm down," Rose murmured to Liv.

"I don't have them on me. You will have to take it to the hospital though. I don't want you to get sick, and it'll help you to sleep after all those strong emotions."

Maxence was still fighting with Nash over the phone and she was making his headache worse. He sent a mail and finally got the authorisation he wanted. When Nash was done yelling at him, he hung up and walked to the bathroom, raising his thumb to tell Rose and Liv that it was okay with them staying a bit longer. Rose smiled. While Joanne was starting to cook, he locked himself into the bathroom, rinsed his face and looked for something to help him. He didn't find anything and sat down on the toilet, rubbing his temples, hoping it would make the pain go away.

"Doesn't Mr. Spitz have the pills though? Because he had them in his pocket. That was when Nash tried to get rid of him."

Liv looked thoughtful.

"He probably still has them, you're right. I'll ask him."

"I figured he might. But you can ask him to be sure."

Maxence was still locked in the bathroom, trying to get rid of that damn headache. It was driving him mad and nothing seemed to work on him. He walked to the sink and turned on the cold water. He closed his eyes and put his head under water. He had to make it go away. One way or another. Donna looked at the bathroom door.

"What is he doing again?" she murmured for herself.

Rose noticed he was still in the bathroom and was starting to get a little worried. She was wondering what was taking him so long.

"Maybe he's trying to find something for his headache? He did seem like he had a bad headache. I bet talking with Nash made it worse."

Maxence turned off the water and sat down on the ground, his back against the shower door, his soaked hair dripping on his shoulders. His headache wasn't any better. He pressed his right hand against his head and closed his eyes really tight. There was that whistling now. He punched the ground, whimpering at the unbearable pain in his head. It had to stop. It had to stop before he banged his head to make it stop.

"You should check on him, love," Joanne told Donna.

"Make sure he's alright and isn't doing anything to hurt himself."

"Yeah. I'll do that."

Rose closed her eyes as the Wolf became more concerned for Maxence, and was pacing around behind the golden barrier. She pressed between her eyebrows with her thumb and lightly rubbed it in a circle to try and relieve the pain. She exhaled calmly as she sensed the Wolf relaxing, and opened her eyes again, the little golden spark in her eyes gone.

Donna got up and unlocked the door with a pocket knife. She came into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She found Maxence sat on the ground, his hair and shoulders soaked. He was punching the ground repeatedly hoping it would make the pain disappear. Donna grabbed a towel and sat down on the ground close to him. She wrapped her arms around him and held him against her. She dried his head off gently, lightly massaging to help with the pain.

"We have to break the rule," she murmured to him. He closed his eyes and leaned on her as she was slowly rocking him. "You have to take some aspirin for your head. You can't stay like this."

His hand hurt too and it was almost pleasurable compared to the pain in his head. He didn't want to take the aspirin because of the risks. But he was gonna pass out if the headache didn't disappear quickly.

Rose was watching Joanne cooking. It reminded her of how many times she had watched her own mother cooking. She suddenly felt nostalgic. She missed her mother, and she missed their small moments together. She wished she could live it again.

"Need help?" she asked her, playing with her hands absentmindedly.

Joanne looked back at Rose. She didn't need any help. She was used to cook on her own but the young woman was so willing to help and do something that she couldn't refuse once again.

"Yeah, come here."

She showed her the worktop and told her what she could to help. Liv was watching, smiling a bit. It was good to see Rose do some 'normal' things. She looked back at the bathroom, wondering how Maxence was coping with his headache. Not so well. He kept his eyes tightly close and just focused on Donna rubbing his head. He wasn't sure about breaking the rule.

"I don't want to break the rule. I don't want to…"

"You won't. You're not alone and confused anymore, Max. Your mom and I won't let you go back into this. I promise." She kissed his head. "But I don't want you to be in such a pain anymore. I hate it when you're suffering so badly."

Maxence remained silent a few seconds. He had felt another kind of pain earlier and hadn't asked the question to his mother or Donna yet. But he didn't know what the new word were. They had bandaged it.

"You never told me."

"Told you what?"

"About the new word. The one who carved itself earlier."

"I don't think…"

"Donna."

"It's a name."

"Is it the name of someone I know or do I have to find who it is?"

"It's the name of your patient. Rose Tyler."

Maxence opened his eyes and looked up at Donna even if it was painful to do so. Why in the world would he have Rose's name on his chest? What could that possibly mean?


	15. Dinner

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 15/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Maxence looked up at Rose to watch her cook with his mother. Everything not to look at the tiny bubbles in the water. It reminded him of some alcohol he used to drink before. But it was just a med. A med he had started drugging himself with before he found stronger drugs."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 15: DINNER

Rose sighed lightly. She didn't want to just sit back and let Joanne do all the work. Plus, she was a bit fidgety. Thankfully, Joanne let her help so Rose could keep her hands and mind busy. She went to the worktop and started helping by doing the tasks Joanne was asking her to. It was nice to be doing some "normal" things again. She hadn't been able to do so in five years. So the change was nice.

She glanced back at the bathroom, wondering how Maxence was doing. She was worried for him. So was the Wolf. He was in a lot of pain and she hoped that he could get rid of the headache with medication like normal people. She knew too well how it was to feel like your head was gonna explode to the louder noise. But now, she couldn't take any medication. As soon as she was off those withdrawal pills, she was done with meds. Permanently. If nothing was gonna help her pain anymore, then why take them? She wasn't going to let addiction come into her life again. It was horrible to deal with. Something she never wanted to experience again.

"We'll solve that mystery later," replied Donna. "Right now, we'll take care of that head. And you've got to change your shirt. You're gonna catch a cold if you don't."

Maxence nodded. Donna got up and slowly helped him up. She took his hand and walked out the bathroom. She went to the bedroom for him to change his shirt. He sat down on the bed while she picked one. She took care of him, gently finishing to dry his hair off, and helped him into a dry shirt. She kissed his head very softly.

"By the way, our first movie together was _Rapunzel_. We've been together for six years. I've seen you through your worst."

"We weren't dating yet."

"We've started dating for real after you came out of the rehab centre, but I was already in love with you."

He smiled softly. "It's almost seven years of love. Aren't you tired of me?"

"I could never get tired of the amazing man you are."

She kissed him softly and led him back to the kitchen. She forced him to sit down at the table. He crossed his arms on the table and nestled his head in them while Donna was getting an aspirin ready. The smell of food was ready present in the air and Maxence felt hungrier. He really needed to eat something.

"It smells good."

His stomach growled. He was hungry, and he wasn't the only one according to the growl he heard from Liv's stomach. He was happy to have her and Rose there for dinner tonight. Rose's stomach had been growling every few minutes while she was helping Joanne with dinner. She nodded at Maxence's words.

"Yes, it does. I see everyone's hungry based on the stomachs I hear growling."

Rose was sure now that she would be asleep before they reached the hospital. Liv would probably have to carry her back to her room because she wouldn't be able to be waken up easily with a full stomach and withdrawal pills in her system. She was happy to be there for dinner tonight. She forgot what it was like to be sat around a table with people. She couldn't wait to do that at Christmas with her family either. She hoped she would get to see Clara soon too. She missed her best friend and the fun times around the table.

Donna put the glass of aspirin in front of him. He just had to wait until the pill stopped melting in the water and he would be able to take it. Even if he didn't want to.

"No one can resist a homemade meal when Joanne's cooking," confessed Donna.

"Oh, I have a little chief with me today."

And Rose seemed pretty happy to help. Maxence looked up at Rose to watch her cook with his mother. Everything not to look at the tiny bubbles in the water. It reminded him of some alcohol he used to drink before. But it was just a med. A med he had started drugging himself with before he found stronger drugs. His stomach growled as they were talking about food. He was half sulking but it was hard to resist to the temptation of laughing when Donna started tickling him though.

Rose smiled at Joanne as she called her a 'little chief'. She had always loved helping people and she hoped that would never really change. She glanced back at Maxence and smirked a little when Donna tickled him. They weren't all against him. They just wanted him to get better. They wanted to help him. He wouldn't get addicted to those meds again. He was around people who wouldn't let him.

"Drink it up, Max."

"Drink it, Doctor Spitz. It'll help you. No one's gonna stop nagging till you do. You need it."

"No, I don't want to. That's rule number one."

"Rule number one can be broken when my boy is suffering so much," argued Joanne. "Drink it."

Maxence sighed and grabbed the glass. He drank it up in one go and pulled a face. It tasted awful. Rose chuckled a little at the face he made and got back to helping Joanne once more. She couldn't wait to eat and just kind of relax with them.

"Maybe you should rest a few minutes on the couch."

"No, it's fine."

Donna didn't insist. At least, he had taken the aspirin. It was better than nothing at all. She could leave him in peace for now. She sat back down on his lap and stroked his face lovingly.

"Oh, do you have my withdrawal pills, Doctor Spitz?" the blonde asked. "Liv didn't bring any with her and I still need them."

Maxence was now sulking for real because they had forced him to break is number one rule for a stupid headache. That damn headache was killing him. True. But it would have passed. Eventually. They were all against him. He looked at Donna after Rose's question.

"You took them away from me. I don't know where you put them."

Donna got up and disappeared into their room. She remembered the pills she had taken from Maxence days ago. When he had come home completely lost and she had thought he was drunk. He was drugged. But not by his own hand. She soon came back with the box of pills. She gave it to Liv.

"Don't let him have those kind of things. Old demons can be a bitch sometimes."

"Thank you. He'd put them in his pocket to make sure I got them every time I see him."

"Yeah, I know. I took them away from him soon as I've found them. He's not allowed to have any medication on him. Rule number two. I now know that was for work but I'd rather not see him with this again."

"He won't," promised Liv.

"He won't. But thanks for taking them away from him."

Maxence Spitz seemed to be obeying to a lot of rules but since she didn't know his full story she couldn't judge. He was still sulking when Joanne looked back at him. He would be that way all along the dinner it looked like. Whenever he started sulking like a kid, nothing was able to take him out of that condition. He just sulked until he decided he was done with it.

"Wash your hands and set the table, love. Food is almost ready."

Maxence got up and washed his hands. He cleared the table and opened a cupboard to take plates and glasses. He remained silent all along while he was putting all down on the table. The nurse watched him as he was setting the table. His sulk was clear on his face, and Liv couldn't tell if he was faking or if it was for real. He was still in pain too, which probably didn't help with his mood. Donna helped him with setting the table and hugged him soon as they were done.

Rose frowned a little at his behaviour but she didn't stop helping Joanne to comfort him. It wasn't her job to do. Plus, she didn't want to offend Donna or make her angry.

"You love me singing?" he asked in a very childish way.

"I love you no matter what you're doing," she promised him.

Maxence wrapped his arms around her and after a few seconds, a grin appeared on his face. The sulking mood was over. Joanne put the food down on the table and started filling the plates. Donna grabbed Maxence's hand and led him to his spot. She sat down close to him, but didn't let go of his hand. He looked tired and she would tuck him in bed right after Liv and Rose would be gone. But for now, they would be sharing a meal with family and friends. And it made him happy to have so many people around his table, even if he wasn't showing it much.

Rose helped Joanne put the food on the table and sat down on a chair. Her mouth was watering. The food smelled very wonderful. She was tired as Maxence and hoped she could get some sleep tonight. She had spent a quite good day outside the hospital though there had been some really hard times.

The dinner went really great to Maxence's eyes. He wasn't really there with the others, but at least, his headache was slowly disappearing thanks to the aspirin. He hoped he wouldn't get another addiction from breaking the rule number one. He really hoped he wouldn't. He ate with a big appetite, remaining silent for the most part. He was watching all the people around his table, happy to have them around. They had a good time. They talked and laughed a bit. Rose remained silent when no one spoke. She was happy to be around them all and to do something 'normal' for once.

When the dinner was over, he helped with the dishes while Joanne was making some more tea to end the dinner. Liv was helping with the dishes too and then, she gathered her stuff and Rose's with her patient's help. They had to leave because it was getting late.

"You sure you don't want me to come with you and be sure everything's fine?"

"I'm sure. You need rest. Go to bed. I'll let you know when we'll be back there."

"Better do that. I won't sleep before I know you're back there."

"I'll make sure he has a lot of rest," promised Donna. "I'm gonna take care of that big boy so he can do his work again. Just make sure that Nash doesn't come near him again or she won't like me."

She was talking more to Liv than to Rose for that part. She didn't want them to get in trouble but she didn't want Nash to hurt Maxence ever again. If she did, Donna would most likely ruin her life – and her face.

"Good. I know you'll take good care of him. He's in good hands."

"Get some rest, Doctor Spitz. You need it. Just relax with Donna and watch lots of _Disney_ movies. Liv's got me covered."

"I know Liv's got you covered and that's reassuring me to know that there's someone watching over you. Looks like I did the right choice when I asked her to help me with you. I wanted someone I could trust to watch over you when I wasn't there."

"He personally asked me indeed."

Liv had been surprised at first, but she had never regretted her decision to stand up for Rose and to take care of her just like Maxence wanted her to, just like Rose had to be treated. Like a human being.

"It reassures me too. She's a great nurse. You really did make the right choice in choosing her to help. I'm glad she was chosen."

Maxence walked to Rose. He knew she didn't like the idea of going back there, but she had no choice for now. She had to go back and wait until he helped her to get out of the hospital. He put his hands on her shoulders.

"It's all gonna be alright, okay? I'll be back soon, and I'll get you out of here quick enough. Nash won't lay her hands on anymore. You're safe. With Liv and me. We'll protect you."

"I'm just tired of waiting. But I know I have to. You better be back soon."

"The last days of waiting are always the longest days."

Somehow, he understood her situation and knew that words wouldn't be any useful. So, he hugged her tight against him instead, hoping he wouldn't scare her by doing so. Thankfully, she didn't flinch and just hugged him back, appreciating the human contact. He smiled a bit at it. There was something weird about this hug, something familiar, but he chose not to think about it.

They were three against a whole institute, but it seemed to work so far. Well, they got Maxence at some point but he was back to normal now. And he would be on alert all the time now. Nash wouldn't get him do easily a second time. Now he knew the good and the bad people. Liv hadn't told him for the whole 'Alex' incident and she hadn't given any details to him about Jackie's visit. She would write it down soon and gave a copy to him so he could know where they were in the therapy. But not now. Because now they were all forcing him to get some rest for a reason he couldn't tell. He had had a terrible headache, but he survived in the end. He was perfectly fine now. Still a bit in pain but that was all. No reason to get worried.

"Thank you," he murmured in her ear. "And sorry for being so miserable. I'll be better next time."

"You're welcome. And it's okay. I understand why you were miserable. You better be better next time." She closed her eyes briefly. "The Wolf says goodbye too."

Maxence couldn't really lie when she had seen him so miserable. She maybe would have questions for him later. That's how their relationship was working so far. She was opening up to him if he was saying something personal about him. As long as she wasn't using it against him, it was okay. He smiled briefly. He really liked that Wolf. It was intriguing, but it was nice to him. Just like Rose was.

Maxence broke the hug before Donna could give him the jealous look – she was very possessive of him and never let anyone come too close or touch him for too long.

"I'm always fine, Rose Tyler," he joked.

"No, you aren't. No one is always fine."

"I'm not always fine, but I'm always okay. Always on the run, me."

Maxence never liked staying still, and now they were forcing him to. Donna wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer to her. Joanne hugged Rose goodbye. And when they were all done, Liv brought Rose back to her car to drive her back to the hospital. It was very late.

"Mom, you're staying over for the night?"

"Still need me?"

"I don't like the idea of you driving at night."

"My sight is much better than yours, love."

"That is still a mystery."

"I know."

Joanne kissed his cheek and hugged both Donna and Maxence. She was happy that her son had found some happiness after the rough times he had been through but she still was worried. Especially after what they had seen earlier.

"I'm staying for the night but I'll be gone before you get up. Can't be late with the kids."

Maxence smiled a bit and hugged both his mother and girlfriend. Joanne broke the hug and walked to the bathroom while Donna led Maxence to their bedroom and forced him to get into bed. He obeyed, not willing to fight, and she tucked him in. Joanne gave them a goodnight kiss and went to the guest room. Donna changed into her pyjamas, and slipped into bed with Maxence. She was zapping to find a good movie for Maxence to watch before sleeping when she realised he was already asleep. She smiled and took his glasses off. She would wait until she knew that Liv and Rose were back to the hospital before sleeping too. For now, she just cuddled into Maxence and watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful, so ignorant of the threat sleeping in his mind.

* * *

While Liv was driving back to the institute, Rose had fallen asleep quicker than she expected to. She found a way to get comfortable in the seat and still managed to keep her seatbelt on. The blonde was curled up in the seat, her head on the armrest as her hair hid her face, and her arm was used for a decent temporary pillow. Though she was thin, she still succeeded in getting comfy and doing with what she had. Something she had had to learn over the years. The Wolf was getting a bit tired as well, but it was watching over Rose's thoughts to make sure no nightmares tormented her now. Of course, they would torment her later when she was back at the institute. But right now, she was perfectly calm and okay.

Liv smiled a bit when she realised that Rose had fallen asleep while she was driving. She put the radio on a lower volume so it wouldn't bother her and make sure it was warm enough in the car for her to not be cold. Rose had been listening to the radio and had even hummed along with it a bit before she had fallen asleep. She really missed listening to music. She had always enjoyed it and missed not being able to listen to it anymore. She kept listening to it, though it was lower, while she slept, warm and surprisingly comfy in her spot.

Liv drove quietly, slowly on purpose. She was taking her time to go back to the hospital, but she couldn't cheat anymore when she was around. She parked on the almost desert parking lot – they weren't many to work at night – and looked at the cars there to know who was working, and if she could trust any of them.

Then, she came out of her car and closed the door as quietly as she could. She picked up Rose from her seat after she unbuckled her and locked the car's doors. She walked into the hospital and to the fourth floor underground where Rose's room was. Rose curled up against Liv and buried her face into her neck. She wrapped her arms around her lazily. She tensed up as she sensed that they were back at the hospital. The nurse at the desk looked at them, surprised. She hadn't expected Liv to work this late, nor to see her bring back a patient from a long walk outside, but Liv didn't stop to talk. She walked to Rose's room, and unlocked it. She didn't switch on the lights. She didn't want to wake up Rose. Everything seemed perfectly normal. No one had come around to rummage about the room and steal Rose's belongings. Even the drawings were still on the wall, where Rose had hung them with Liv's help.

Liv slowly lay her down in the bed, causing Rose to frown and whimper. The poor girl already missed her nurse's extra-warmth and shivered. She felt some relief though when Liv took off her shoes and tucked her in gently. Liv checked the bathroom to be sure that really no one had come around there. Everything was in place. Even the safety box.

"Shh," murmured Liv. "It's alright."

She tucked the cover tight around Rose's body so she wouldn't be cold. She left the room very quietly and locked it behind her. She walked to the front desk.

"Room 421. Rose Tyler. Sleeping like a baby for now."

"I didn't know you were working that night."

"Extra shift. Late appointment with her therapist."

"Oh, you're going home then."

"I do. But before that, if anything happens, if Miss Tyler asks for me or Doctor Spitz, you call us. We're the only persons allowed around Miss Tyler."

"I read that Alex was also on that case."

That was a problem but Liv couldn't solve it yet. It was to hope that Alex wouldn't create any trouble on the next day which was Liv's day off.

"Just call Doctor Spitz or me if she asks for us."

The nurse nodded and Liv left the hospital, texting Maxence to tell him that Rose was back in the hospital, sleeping deeply and that they would be calling them if anything happened. Liv also hoped that Rose would have no problems with Alex, either. Since she seemed to be on her case now. She didn't trust her at all. She didn't trust much people in there, really. And Rose only trusted her and Maxence. Along with her family. Meeting someone new would be really hard for her.

Liv walked back to her car after she sent the text to Maxence. She drove back to her flat, and fell asleep as soon as she reached her bed.

* * *

Donna took Maxence's phone when it rang and read the message. Maxence moved a bit, but didn't wake up. He pulled Donna close to him and sighed. She smiled, put the phone down and cuddled close to him before she fell asleep.

When she woke up hours later, Maxence was still deeply asleep. She got up slowly and silently. She did her morning routine without waking him up. So did Joanne. They both left for their jobs early, leaving a small note for Maxence when he would wake up. Not before hours though. He liked oversleeping on morning. Not really a morning person, except when he had to get up early to work. But not today. Today was a rest day. He was gonna sleep, and watch TV, and eat all day until Donna was back. And then, she would push him to the bathroom and force him to take a shower and to shave. Even if he didn't feel like doing it today.


	16. Pain

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 16/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "The pain was clear in her voice. The flashbacks were too clear and too bad for her to handle. Not now. And certainly not alone. The Doctor had helped her with the nightmares. He would always comfort her and the TARDIS did too. But she didn't have that comfort now. She hadn't had it for five years. She didn't have anyone to call out to cuddle with her. Of course she had Liv who was there to support her and help her with the Wolf. But that was different."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 16: PAIN

Rose heard Liv's voice through her slumber and managed to relax. She snuggled the blankets tight against her when Liv tucked them around her so she wouldn't be so cold. Thanks to Maxence and Liv, she had spent a good day outside that hospital. It had been hard for her to be outside for the first time in years, but it had also felt so good. She had felt normal for the first time in forever. But it had also worn her out. So, she slept deeply and peacefully for a few hours. Nothing came to disturb her.

However, Rose Tyler obviously couldn't have a night without some troubles. A horrible and vivid nightmare woke her up early the next morning. She had dreamt about Jimmy Stone. About that horrible night when he had almost killed her. About that night when he had raped her and beaten her. It was so realistic that Rose had to bite down on her pillow not to cry out. It was so realistic that she cried for a couple hours straight, her tears staining the pillow. She always was able to feel the pain whenever the nightmare came around. It was horrible. Something Rose never liked to talk about. She stayed in her bed, in the same position she was in when Liv had tucked her in. She hadn't moved. She didn't wanna do anything. She just wanted to stay in bed. No one had brought her breakfast yet, and she didn't really care anyway. She didn't want to eat and wouldn't trust anyone who would try to bring her food. Her cries had quieted down to whimpers overtime, but she was still shaking as her best friend, Clara, arrived to come see her.

Clara had gone and seen Jackie the same day she got the letter from Rose. She had cried in relief when she realised her friend was still alive in that hell hole. Her girlfriend was sick and she had been taking care of her lately. So she had been busy. And with working, she hadn't had too much time to take a break to see Rose before today. She got out of her car and walked into the mental hospital. Her heart was racing nervously but excitedly as she wondered about her best friend. Would they allow her to see Rose when they had pushed her away so many times before?

* * *

Maxence woke far too early for his liking because he really needed to use the loo. He got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He sighed in relief as he was emptying his bladder. He had barely opened his eyes and could walk in the flat without hitting anything because he knew it by heart. And it was a good thing since he wasn't wearing his glasses and didn't know where they were. He didn't even remember taking them off in the first place. He scratched his head, trying to remember what had happened before he went to bed. He didn't even remember falling asleep. He washed his hands when he was done and stumbled to the kitchen. Now that he was awake, he was hungry. He smiled a bit when he saw the thermos cup full with tea just like he liked it – he could tell it just by the smell of it – and the bowl of cereals on the table. He grabbed them, took the note and brought it all back to the bedroom. He put it all down on the bedside table and turned on the TV. He ate some cereals and drank some tea. A few minutes later, he was asleep again.

He hadn't taken a look to his phone, knowing that if anything had happened to his patient, they would have called him. He could sleep deeply without worrying. He couldn't be at the hospital more than once or twice a week but thankfully, Liv was around almost every day and could watch over Rose and be sure that no one would hurt her, to be sure that the rules he had given them would be respected. He was glad to be able to count on such a person. Amazing how the world was divided into good and bad people lately. Maxence would admit that he was a grey one. A little bit good, a little bit bad. He tossed in his sleep and frowned when he felt the headache coming back to him.

* * *

Rose was still curled up on her bed, crying from how realistic the nightmare was. From how much pain it caused her to be in. She could hear his voice echoing in her mind. It only made her trembling worse. It made her pull the blanket even tighter around herself.

"Make it stop… Please," Rose begged into the pillow. "Bad Wolf, please, make it stop."

The pain was clear in her voice. The flashbacks were too clear and too bad for her to handle. Not now. And certainly not alone. The Doctor had helped her with the nightmares. He would always comfort her and the TARDIS did too. But she didn't have that comfort now. She hadn't had it for five years. She didn't have anyone to call out to cuddle with her. Of course she had Liv who was there to support her and help her with the Wolf. But that was different.

The Wolf did its quick work, and made the thoughts, the flashbacks, and the vividness of the nightmare go away so Rose could relax and calm down.

 _'_ _Breathe, Rose. It's gone,'_ the Wolf whispered to her in her mind.

Rose took a deep breath and wiped her tears slowly. She sniffled quietly. After a few minutes or more, she finally calmed down and managed to get up and use the bathroom before her stomach growled in protest for the food it would normally be getting around this time of the morning. But she ignored her hunger the best she could and lay back down in bed, curling up under the blankets as always. She closed her eyes as her head lightly pounded. It was going to be one of those bad days.

* * *

Meanwhile, Clara was walking up to the front desk at the entrance of the hospital. You couldn't anywhere in that damn place without stopping there first. You had to give your identity, show your ID papers and leave your stuff so no patient would steal it and use it badly. She looked at the woman sitting behind the Plexiglas pane. Their safety seemed to be a really important thing around there. More than taking good care of their patients.

"Excuse me. I'd like to see Rose Tyler, please," Clara said calmly and kindly to the lady.

She hoped and prayed that maybe that would be the nurse who wouldn't say that Rose Tyler was 'unavailable' or 'unable to see visitors at this time'. Clara remembered their last goodbye before Rose was sent here. She wondered how much her best friend had changed. How different she would be. And if she would ever get out of there. Clara missed her best friend and couldn't move on from her. She tried to see Jackie and Mickey as often as possible, but she just wanted her best friend back and be able to share the good and bad moments in life.

The nurse looked up at her and examined her silently. Rose Tyler. There were a lot of rules around that patient and one of them was to forbid all the visits. She couldn't see or talk to anyone beside her therapist and the nurses who were taking care of her. That wasn't the first time someone came around and asked to see Rose, but all the visitors had been gently – more or less – pushed back to the exit with every possible excuse they could find. Rose Tyler had had a visit last week though. A visit allowed by Liv, her nurse. But Liv was strong and she wasn't afraid of Nash. The nurse on the desk was afraid, so she just obeyed to the rules she was given.

Clara watched the nurse closely, observing the place as well. It was pretty plain. Very white. Clara assumed that Rose got tired of that colour real quick. She knew that Jackie had been here just a few days ago to see Rose. So, she figured that she too could go see Rose now. She figured that Rose was finally stable enough after five years to receive visitors. But she seemed to be wrong.

"Miss Tyler is unable to see any visitor at this time. Breakfast is being served. Come back later, please."

She was trying to be as gentle as possible though. She had never met Rose Tyler and just heard the rumours going on around her. She couldn't tell if they were right or not, and she didn't care actually. She was given a job and she would do it.

"Actually, Miss Tyler is only allowed to see her therapist and the nurses taking care of her. No other visitor," she added to Clara.

Then, she went back to the papers she was working on. She could feel Nash's eyes on her although she couldn't see her. Nash seemed to be everywhere at once, and it was quite frightening.

Clara knew all the excuses. She had heard them all at least once. She was tired of the excuses. She wanted answers. She heard the gentleness in the nurse's voice and chewed the inside of her cheek. People shouldn't just assume how someone was like based off of rumours. Clara didn't do that. She saw Nash, and sent a short glare to her. She knew how that bitch was. Jackie had told her all about that one and what she had done to her best friend and what she had tried to do. If looks could kill, Nash would have dropped dead. She clenched her jaw lightly and looked back at the nurse calmly.

"Rose Tyler's mother just came in here a few days ago and seen her daughter around this time of day and was allowed to go back. What's the difference with me and why can't I go back?" Clara asked calmly.

She was sure that having Nash's eyes on you nearly all the time would be quite frightening, but Clara Oswald wasn't afraid of Nash. Clara Oswald might be short, but she knew how to beat up someone. And she wasn't afraid to do so now if anyone decided to give her any problem.

The nurse looked back at Clara. That short woman was gonna draw troubles on her if she kept asking for things she couldn't do, if she kept provoking Nash that way.

"Liv was the one who let her in. She disobeyed the rules."

"Mmhm," Clara replied unconvincingly

She could tell that Nash didn't seem afraid of her glare, but she didn't really care either. She knew all the rules now. She didn't like them and felt like they weren't true at all. It was just a way to keep Rose isolated from her family and friends. Another way to make her believe that she was insane. Which she wasn't.

There was an awful lot of rules around Rose Tyler. Nash didn't seem afraid by the glare Clara gave her and just kept on watching her employee trying to get rid of her the best she could without being mean. But she had talked about the rules. She shouldn't have. She walked to the front desk and faced Clara.

"Miss Tyler isn't allowed to have any visit. I'm sure that as her best friend you know how unstable she has been. It's gotten worse, and we have to keep her into isolation so no one will get hurt."

That was almost the truth, except that Rose was now more stable thanks to Maxence Spitz and Liv. But Nash couldn't tell that to Clara. Jackie Tyler had been enough. It was useless to play the same game once again. Clara Oswald wouldn't get in. Alex still hadn't brought Rose's breakfast that morning so no one knew how she really was at the present moment, and no one wanted to take the risk.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we have a lot of work here."

It was a polite way to send her away and Nash really hoped that he would work because she didn't feel like fighting with Clara. She would have her locked in a cell if she even tried to get in without their authorisation.

"She wasn't that unstable when she came here. Yes, she was unstable but not unstable to the fact of pure insanity, which is what you're saying about her. I can tell you're lying, by the way."

Clara was keeping her calm though she really wanted to strangle that damn head nurse. Nash was lying to her about something, but she had no idea of what she could be lying about. Jackie had been able to come in there. Clara didn't see why she couldn't.

"Can't I just wait here to see Rose Tyler after breakfast like the kind nurse said since no one can visit during breakfast time?"

If this didn't work, then Clara would leave. But she would try a few times. If anything, she could come back tomorrow.

"She was brought here for a reason, don't you think? We've kept her in the isolation quarters ever since. She attacked around twenty therapists, and hurt more nurses than I could count. If it isn't insanity, I don't know what it is," snapped Nash.

"I understand she was brought here for a reason. And I know what that reason is."

Clara didn't believe that. She didn't believe that Rose had attacked twenty therapists and a bunch of nurses. She just couldn't believe that, but she decided not to say anything. She didn't know what to think. She didn't have much information on her best friend except the letter that Rose had sent her and what Jackie had told her. People were against Nash and that was a really good thing. Maxence was around and that was an even better thing, because he would get Rose out of here soon enough.

Nash was getting really frustrated by those people going against her lately. Since Maxence Spitz had come around, the place had become a real mess. Rose Tyler wasn't in isolation anymore, and even worse, she was having visits from her mother. Everything was going wrong, but Rose Tyler had to stay here. She had to stay locked down because that damn Wolf was dangerous. She was a danger. And maybe the solution was to keep Maxence away. The first try at it had been a failure, but the second try, she would manage to keep him away. She just had to earn his trust first. Which wouldn't be easy now that he remembered what she had done to him. Maybe she could use some persons of his staff and made him believe that they were behaving. But she needed time to prepare that plan.

"So, no, you can't just wait here to see Rose Tyler or anyone one else from this hospital after breakfast."

Visits weren't authorised here. That hospital was the place where all the lost cause were locked down. All the dangerous people that would never see the sun ever again. They didn't have families or friends anymore. Some people had managed to run way from there though and Maxence Spitz was one of them. Nash was keeping his files locked into a safety box in her office, and there was nothing about him in the computers' files. Only she and the people who had worked on his case knew for him. And no one would ever tell him because if he remembered… Nash walked away. She was done with Clara Oswald for today.

Rose wouldn't be stuck in there forever. She wasn't a lost cause. Clara knew this. Everything was going wrong on Nash's end and that was good. Nash wouldn't get rid of Maxence a second time. Rose wouldn't let it happen and Liv wouldn't either. If Nash came into Rose's room again, Rose would wipe her memory with the Wolf's help. She would leave that bitch with nothing to remember. No name, no family. Nothing. She would be a nobody. Clara would love to stay around and watch that. But with how Nash was acting, she doubted she would be able to stay around.

Anyway, Clara would find a way in there to see Rose Tyler. Somehow. Someway. Rose was _not_ a danger. She was _not_ insane. Rose Tyler was getting better and Nash just didn't like that fact. Clara glared at Nash as she walked away.

"Bitch," she mumbled.

Clara walked out of the hospital and back to her car. She just wanted to see her best friend. Was that seriously too much to ask? She would be back here tomorrow. Bright and early. She wouldn't give up. She would insist until they let her in to see Rose. They hadn't heard the last of her yet. She sadly got back into her car and left the hospital, her best friend drowning any other possible thoughts in her head. She just wanted to know that she was okay.

While Clara was leaving the building, Rose was still waiting for her breakfast. Alex was coming to her room with it. Of course it was the hospital's trashed food. Alex unlocked Rose's room. She didn't knock before – only Maxence and Liv did so to let her know they were coming in – and walked in quietly with her food. Rose peeked out from under the blankets, but went right back under when she saw who it was. Alex smirked and sat Rose's tray down on the ground.

"Morning, dog."

Alex pulled the blanket off of the blonde and dragged her to the floor by her hair. Rose let out a short cry of pain and gritted her teeth. The mean nurse shoved Rose towards her food and walked to the door.

"Eat it. It's probably all you'll be getting today," she snapped before she left the room and locked the door behind her.

* * *

It was around ten when Maxence woke up again to the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned at it because the ringtone was making his headache worse and looked for his phone without opening his eyes. He picked it up and pressed it against his ear, mumbling a very sleepy 'hello'.

 _"_ _Oh, sorry, love. I'm waking you up."_

Maxence smiled sleepily at Donna's voice. It was break time and she was always calling him when he was home alone after a rough time. Just to check on him. A habit he liked. It meant she really cared about him. People who cared now were very rare.

"Just checking on me, aren't you?"

 _"_ _Always."_

"Thanks for the breakfast."

 _"_ _I knew you were gonna appreciate it. How's your head?"_

"Much better than yesterday."

It was still there but, at least, he didn't want to hit his head against a wall to make it disappear like he had wanted to the previous day. It was bearable.

"I didn't remember falling asleep."

 _"_ _You were by the time I came into bed. That nurse, Liv, texted to say that your patient was back in her room."_

"Great."

 _"_ _Not so great, isn't it? I'm afraid of letting you go back there now."_

"I'll be good. I'll be careful."

 _"_ _I'm sure you will, but for now, you take all the rest you can get."_

Maxence had no plan of moving from his bed except for eating and peeing. He rubbed his temple slowly, and sighed.

 _"_ _Max, if the headache is still here, take an aspirin."_

"No, it's alright."

 _"_ _Max…"_

"This is how I started, Donna. Aspirin. I'm home alone. I won't take it."

He could hear Donna sigh in the other side of the line. She knew he was right.

 _"_ _I can't go back home for lunch. You'll be alright?"_

"As usual."

 _"_ _Call me if anything."_

"Pinky promise."

 _"_ _I love you."_

"Love you too. See you tonight."

 _"_ _See ya."_

Donna ended the call and Maxence put his phone away. He curled up in his bed and tried to find the sleep again. Staying in bed all day was the plan.

* * *

Rose sniffled when Alex left the room. She rubbed her head slowly. She already had a headache and Alex hadn't helped with it. She hadn't even given her the pill for the withdrawal. She just hadn't cared about her. She had – awfully – done the job she was given and had just gone as quickly as she could to spend the less possible time with her patient.

Rose sighed and closed her eyes as the Wolf nudged against the barrier, annoyed and a bit angry. She grabbed her blanket and crawled back into bed, leaving the food where it was. She didn't trust it at all and it didn't really look that great. If she got hungry enough, she might eat. Might. But she wasn't that hungry right now. She was hungry, but it was bearable to deal with. She closed her eyes and curled up on her bed again, hiding under the blanket once more. The only safe haven she was left with whenever Liv or Maxence weren't there. Her stomach growled in compliant to the teasing smell of the food, but nothing coming to it.

"Oh shut up," Rose snapped briefly but quietly.

She didn't feel like doing anything, but she certainly couldn't wait for Liv to be back tomorrow. So she would be treated correctly again. So she would be treated like a human again. Rose hoped Liv would take care of Alex eventually too. So she wouldn't have to see her again. She ran a hand through her hair slowly and took a few deep breaths to help the Wolf calm down faster. Once she would be out of this place, she wanted nowhere near it. She didn't want to drive on the same street as it. Nothing. She wanted nothing to do with that place anymore. It was a living hell and she hoped she could get it closed down one day. The other patients could be taken to a better place, but, unfortunately, Rose couldn't be taken to another place. She wished she could be taken somewhere else some days. However, she liked having Liv as her nurse, and, hopefully, Maxence would return to start helping her again soon too.

* * *

It was past noon when Maxence woke up again. For good this time. His headache was no better. He groaned and pressed a pillow on his face. He would keep the blinds closed to protect himself from the light. At least, it was more bearable than yesterday, and he was living in a calm area of the town. He pulled the pillow away from his face. He sat up, and put his glasses on. He took the cup of tea and the bowl of cereals and started eating, absent-mindedly. That headache was weird. Not like the ones he used to know. It was as if something or someone was roaring in his mind while hitting a wall, and all of that was resounding in his skull and causing the headache. Really weird. Something he wouldn't explain to anyone or they would say he was crazy again.

He scratched his chest lightly, and remembered that he had to change the bandages. He finished his breakfast and got up slowly. He walked to the bathroom, peed, washed his hands and took care of the bandages. He looked a moment at the new word on his chest. Rose Tyler. Why the name of his patient was now written over his heart? That was quite disturbing. What could be the possible link between Rose and the other words? Maxence did new bandages, picked up his bloc-notes and pen in the living room and got back to work. The drawing of the Wolf Rose had done last week was still there. He stroked it lightly and put it aside to start writing.

'DALEK – Left arm. RUN – Right arm. 5 – Right hand. TIME – SPACE – Sides. TARDIS – Right calf. ROSE TYLER – Chest. SLITHEENS – Left thigh.'

Those words meant nothing to him but he had them all. 'RUN' had been the first one to appear years ago, and it was still an obscure mystery now. Maxence put the bloc-notes aside and closed his eyes. He couldn't think properly. His mind was too busy with the headache. So it would wait until after.

He was falling back asleep when he heard someone walking in his flat. No one was supposed to be there at that time of the day. He got up, making no sound, and grabbed the first thing that came by his hand – which happened to be a roll of gift wrap – before he silently slipped out of his room. Just as silently, he walked to the living… To find his brother taking his coat off and getting ready to spend some time here.

"Tenny? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, sorry, thought you were sleeping."

Tenny had been surprised by Maxence's sudden appearance. He was so silent sometimes. The younger brother threw his coat on the couch and looked at Maxence, pretty amused by the fact he was holding a roll of gift wrap.

"You were gonna hit me with this?"

"You should have let me know you were coming over."

"Donna called me just minutes ago. She wanted me to watch over you. You look miserable, that's true."

Maxence sighed. Of course Donna would call and see if someone could check on him and be sure he was fine. There was no better person than Tenny for the job since he was a doctor. He was even already examining him. He pulled a torch and pointed it in his eyes.

"How's that head?" he asked.

Maxence groaned and pushed the torch away.

"Worse when you do that."

"I'm a doctor. I can help you."

"We broke rule number one yesterday."

"I know. That's also why Donna asked me to come. But you're doing quite well. The benzodiazepine is a problem though. It was a strong one, and your body remembers the relief it is when you take this thing."

"I didn't take it. I was drugged on purpose."

Tenny put a hand on his forehead, and then, checked his heartbeats.

"No fever, quick pulse."

"You've scared me, that's understandable."

"Back to bed now."

Maxence sighed and walked to his bedroom. He dropped the roll of gift wrap where he had found it and crawled back in his bed. Tenny had followed him.

"For real, how's that headache?"

"Bearable. Compared to yesterday. Almost hit… Well, I hit my head again against the shower door. Guess it hasn't helped."

Tenny chuckled. Indeed. It hadn't helped at all. But last time Maxence had had so bad headaches, it was when he had come back to them after two years of nothing. So it was concerning.

"I'm making you more tea."

Maxence moaned something in his pillow in answer to Tenny and wrapped the covers around him. Tenny went in the kitchen to make some more tea for his brother and came back when it was ready. He filled the thermos cup with it and sat down on the bed. He took the bloc-notes and read what was written on it. He frowned.

"Seriously, Max? A new word? A full name on your chest? Is that how you're planning it all?"

Maxence glared at him while drinking some hot tea. His brother still thought that he was doing that to himself. Donna and Joanne obviously hadn't said a thing about it. Yet, they had seen it with their eyes. They could tell that it wasn't him doing that to himself. People couldn't say that they were all crazy.

"Who's Rose Tyler?"

"My patient."

"Really? Your patient's name on your chest?"

Maxence sighed. He didn't have the strength to explain it all. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. His headache was becoming worse now.

"I met a Tyler once," continued Tenny. "Jackie Tyler. She punched me."

"You did one of your stupid jokes to her?"

"No. Apparently, I look like someone she hates. A doctor. That was weird."

Tenny noticed that Maxence's headache wasn't going away, that it was getting worse. He put the bloc-notes aside and went to fetch his bag in the living. He looked into it and pulled a box out of it. He gave one pill to Maxence.

"Swallow this. It's a bit less powerful than aspirin, but quite efficient."

"Why are you all asking me to take meds?"

"Because we all want you to feel better. I'll watch over you until Donna comes back home. No risk."

Maxence didn't argue more. If Tenny was staying with him, it was okay. He took the pill and swallowed it with some tea.

"Can you do something for me?"

"What?"

"My patient, Rose Tyler. She's been in that hospital for years. She's suffering from undernutrition, deficiencies and mistreatments. I wondered if you could examine her and give some directives to the staff working with her."

"Sure. I just need your signed authorisation since she's your patient. When do you want me to go?"

"Today would be great."

"Alright. But I'm taking you with me. Not leaving you alone."

If that was the price for Rose Tyler to see a real doctor and have the staff finally doing the good things for her, then it was alright. Maxence took his computer and opened it, quickly finding what he was looking for. He printed the authorisation he needed while Tenny was trying to examine him and find out what was causing the return of his headaches so suddenly. Maxence drank the rest of his second tea and got up. He picked up the paper from the printer and filled it, and put his signature at the end of it. He gave it to Tenny and put the empty thermos cup in his hand before he tried examining it again.

"Make me some more tea."

"'M not your slave."

"Please. You're taking me out while I should stay in bed. I'm gonna need this."

"You're getting sick."

"No."

"You're always grumpy when you're sick."

"I'm grumpy because you're being an ass."

Tenny chuckled and finally obeyed. Maxence went into the bathroom and cleaned himself up a bit. He quickly combed his hair with his fingers but would shave his face later. He was a real mess. He took off his shirt and pyjamas and pulled on a clean shirt and pair of jeans. He pulled on socks and put his trainers on. Tenny was already ready to go. Maxence slipped his computer and bloc-notes in his bag and put a coat on. He followed Tenny to his car, locking the door of the flat behind them. Tenny quickly drove to the hospital and used Maxence's access card to park on the staff parking. Then, Maxence walked up to the nurses' front desk with Tenny who showed his authorisation.

"Oh, Doctor Spitz, you weren't on the planning today."

"I asked Mr Smith if he could come and see Miss Tyler. She looked pale last time I saw her. I'm playing it safe."

"Of course, you're right. I was told she hasn't eaten her breakfast that morning."

The two brothers were forced to get rid of some of their belongings before Maxence could get the key. He walked to Rose's room, followed by Tenny who was observing the place, and knocked on the door before opening. He didn't want her to get panicked.

* * *

Rose didn't move much at all the whole morning. It had been after ten in the morning when she put her breakfast at the door. She had fallen back asleep again and had woken up after noon. She just didn't want to move. Her depression had hit her hard unexpectedly. She had been doing so well lately and then it just hit. And it made her not want to do a single thing. So, she wouldn't. She would just sit here. She would sit here and be sad and do nothing, just like other people with depression most generally did when they were having a bad day.

Of course she wouldn't take any pills to help it. She would only take pills to help with her withdrawal because she had to take those. She doubted she would be getting any of those today either since Alex hadn't given it to her. It wasn't on the tray with the trashed food. She knew that whenever Liv wouldn't be around she wouldn't get anything what she needed or wanted. Which was why she never spoke much nor moved much whenever Liv was gone and off work for the day.

Today, she would just have to suffer without Liv. If Liv and Maxence weren't around, Rose would already have committed. It was even surprising that she hadn't had the courage to end her life soon because she had thought that she was a lost cause. She had thought that no one would ever want to help someone like her. Not when there was someone like Nash feeding lies to them. She wished she could permanently get rid of Nash and not get in trouble for it. She was so evil.

Rose's headache was still there. And if anything, it was worse than earlier that morning. When it came to that bloody hospital food, her head always throbbed, and the Wolf had been glad when Rose finally pushed it away sometime after ten in the morning. The blonde looked at the wall and traced it absentmindedly, sighing deeply, but loudly. Despite the fact that she had people around her that wanted to help her, she felt alone in a way, because no one understood what it was like to be locked away like she had been. No one understood what she had been through and how much it hurt some days to just exist. Sometimes, she felt like Maxence did understand some of the things she was going through, and that was a nice thing to know.

Rose continued her absentminded tracing, not thinking of much in particular. She just missed her family and felt lonely. Of course, loneliness, sadness, anger, depression, and other negative emotions were nothing new to her. She was used to feeling those different emotions by now. They were her normal emotions to feel on a daily basis. The positive emotions like happiness and love were kinda new to her to feel. It was sad, yes, but it was something that happened every day to different people. She wished it didn't happen to different people. She just wished that everyone could be happy together. But that would never happen.

Nevertheless, once Rose was out of that hell there, was no turning back. If she could, she would move out of that city or move far to the other side. But that wouldn't happen. She would just stay as far from that place as she could. She never wanted to come back here.

Her stomach growled louder, demanding that something fill it up. Rose already had a stomach ache from not eating and it was part of the reason why her headache was worse. She was trembling too. That was from the withdrawal though, which didn't seem to be too noticeable with the other pain she was going through. She wasn't complaining of course. It was better than trying to keep your stomach inside you when your body just wanted to throw everything up. That was how miserable she felt when her withdrawal began.

Rose hoped that Alex didn't try anything stupid like poisoning her or drugging her. She didn't need that right now. She just needed some food and water. She was sure that Alex would be watching over her shower, which made Rose nervous just to think about, but she couldn't do anything about that. She had to take a shower, but would probably wait until tomorrow.

She closed her eyes and laid her forehead against the wall. She yawned. She wasn't even that tired, but yet she was yawning. She fell back asleep unexpectedly though, curled up against the cold wall. She rubbed her face, her mind calm for the most part. The Wolf had calmed down slowly and was currently taking a little nap, but was sleeping light enough to wake up instantly in case of an emergency. It was always protecting her, even while they were both asleep.

Rose would love to have some tea in there. The tea from last night had been really good. It was the first time she had had tea in a while. Maybe she would ask Liv for some tea with her dinner tomorrow and maybe even some cookies. Those sounded good too.

She flinched and woke up immediately when she heard the knock on her door. None of the nurses ever knocked on her door. They just came in as they pleased no matter what she was doing. Not much because she couldn't do much in that room she hated.

"Come in," she said quietly "And watch out for the tray."

She sat up in bed before she pressed herself tightly against the corner of the room. She wrapped herself up in her blanket to keep her extra warmth and rested her chin on her knees. She was thankful whoever was coming knocked so she wouldn't be panicked.

"Watch out for what?" Maxence asked.

"The tray," replied Rose.

But it was too late. He came in the room and tripped over the full tray of food. He swore but thankfully, Tenny caught him before he fell to the ground and helped him to stay on his feet. Maybe that wasn't a great idea to get him out of his bed indeed. It was natural for Maxence to be clumsy but it was worse when he wasn't feeling well. And he truly wasn't feeling well lately. He even looked very pale.

Tenny closed the door behind them while Maxence looked around. He noticed the drawings on the wall. One of them looked very much like a portrait of him. But why would Rose have drawn him? One of the drawings was covered with tape and Maxence supposed that it was Liv who had fixed it after someone had ripped it apart. He looked at Rose who was all curled up in her corner. He knew he shouldn't be here. Not before a few days at least. He still needed time to get better. If only that damn headache could disappear. The pill Tenny had given him had made it a bit less throbbing but it was still there. He felt like he was right to come today though. Rose didn't seem very well. That damn hospital probably had mistreated her again.

"That's not you. That's the Doctor."

Rose preferred making it clear quickly to him. She remembered when Liv fixed the drawing that had been ripped up. She had been happy to have it fixed. Since she had spend a lot of time on it. Bur right now, the drawing wasn't what mattered the most. There was a stranger in her room and she had to be on her guard. Especially since he looked so much like the current Doctor…


	17. Exam

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 17/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Maxence sat down on Rose's bed, being really careful to keep a certain distance between him and her while Tenny closed the door. It wasn't for the risks. Rose wouldn't run away. She wouldn't take the chance of losing the trust of the only person who could help her."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 17: EXAM

Rose sighed quietly and watched the man with Maxence catch him before he could hit the ground. She growled under her breath at the stranger, the Wolf immediately making its presence known as the golden spark became bright in her eyes. Her heart rate increased thanks to the anxiety of having a stranger near her. Maxence indeed was clumsy and still didn't look too good. He should be at home and in bed. Not out and back at his job. He needed to rest. He looked very pale. A bit worse than Rose did.

Tenny heard the growl and raised an eyebrow. He noticed the golden eyes, and wondered what the hell he had done to already be hated by this woman he didn't know. Apparently, the Tyler all had a problem with him, and he didn't know the reason behind this. He wasn't gonna cross swords with any of them. He wasn't a fighter. He was just a good guy. Once Max was back on his feet, Tenny took a look at the tray full of food and frowned. He kneeled down and examined it closely. It wasn't very attractive. It wasn't even a real breakfast. It was as if the hospital had given her all the trashed food they could have found. No wonder why she wasn't eating. She would get food poisoning if she even tried to eat or drink one of those things. He put the tray out of the room. No need to let that here. He wouldn't even allow his worst enemy to eat that.

Maxence sat down on Rose's bed, being really careful to keep a certain distance between him and her while Tenny closed the door. It wasn't for the risks. Rose wouldn't run away. She wouldn't take the chance of losing the trust of the only person who could help her. He was closing it just to have some intimacy. He didn't want everyone to see him working.

"Miss Tyler, this is my brother, Tegan. He's a doctor. I asked him if he would accept to examine you and he did. I fully trust him, and you can too. I swear. He won't touch you or come near you if you don't want him to. That's why I'm here. To help you."

Maxence had used Tenny's former name – the one he had had before Joanne adopted him – to introduce him at the front desk so Nash wouldn't know that they were brothers or even related in some ways. He didn't want his brother to get in trouble. Maxence had guessed that Liv wasn't working today – after the day she had had yesterday because of him, she truly deserved a break – and that it was someone else taking care of Rose. Someone she didn't trust at all. And he hated seeing her so afraid, seeing her feeling so bad. He wanted to hug her, but that would be highly misconceived.

"Would you allow him to check on you?" he asked just as quietly as usual.

He didn't know how Rose would react to him bringing a stranger in her room. Tenny was observing the two of them. His brother was pretty well though he was a newbie. Rose looked at Tenny and observed him for a while. She finally accepted. He seemed like a trustworthy man, but he looked exactly like the Doctor. The one who had kicked her out of the TARDIS. And the pain of the memory hurt her, but she tried to hide it the best she could so they wouldn't get concerned.

"He can examine me. Just don't wander too far. I don't trust him much."

Rose didn't like strangers, and never really had. Especially not now. They made her real nervous and real jumpy. All the strangers she had met the past five years caused nothing but trouble for her. But Tegan was Maxence's brother. He seemed trustworthy, but she was still cautious

Maxence looked at his brother when Rose allowed him to examine her. Tenny noticed that he wasn't looking very well, but he was keeping it for himself. Probably still his headache. Maybe a bit of withdrawal too. Maxence could handle some aspirin, but he was given benzodiazepine at some point and that was a hard drug. Something that could make him dive back into it. He was struggling hard, but Tenny knew that if the headaches stayed, if they kept giving him aspirin, he wouldn't struggle any longer and would try to escape from the pain.

"Hands always in sight," Maxence warmed his brother.

He got up slowly and Tenny took his place. He did like his brother and made slow moves. He explained Rose what he was gonna do and asked her to tell him if she wanted him to stop. He would back off immediately. Rose nodded in reply to his explanation. She'd let him know if she wanted him to stop.

Rose didn't really have a problem with Tenny, except for his appearance. She just didn't trust him yet. She had to trust him before she could feel comfortable around him. He seemed like a good guy. Just like his brother. Rose didn't hate many people, and she wasn't going to start hating on a stranger. She had only heard a little about him. She moved the blanket off of her body slowly.

"Sorry, I growled earlier. It's a normal reaction for me now whenever I see someone new in my room."

Tenny just nodded in answer. It didn't matter anyway. That place seemed terrible if they gave their patients trashed food. It was understandable to get mistrustful when you were living in that kind of place for years. Maxence would have a lot of work with her, but was it wise to leave him alone with a woman whose name was carved into his skin forever? Tenny was very protective of his brother and seeing him so weak and so distraught was really worrying him. But he couldn't do much except being quick and bring him back to his flat. That would be for the best.

Tenny examined Rose, always keeping his hands in sight, always telling her what he was doing. He started with her eyes, mouth and throat. He checked her heartbeats and breathing. He noticed the undernutrition, but it didn't surprised him now that he had seen the tray of food. The mistreatments were a bit harder to see but there were signs of it. That woman had gone through a lot.

"Tell me, how are you feeling right now? Describe me everything the best you can."

Rose watched Tenny as he examined her, watching where his hands were always going. She did whatever he told her to do, figuring that he would notice everything wrong about her. It was obvious she wasn't treated like a human there.

Tenny would have a lot of things to say to the person in charge of that place. If Maxence didn't manage to get Rose Tyler out of there, he could at least ask for a transfer into another hospital because that one needed to be shut down. Tenny looked back at Maxence while waiting for Rose's answer. His brother was sat cross-legged on the ground, his eyes closed, and he was drinking the tea in his thermos cup – they had thankfully allowed him to keep it.

"You holding on, Max?"

Maxence raised a thumb. He would be alright. His brother was a doctor and they were into a hospital. If anything happened, he would be well taken care of. He hoped.

"I always fall on my feet. Don't worry about me."

Tenny couldn't help but worry about him because he knew his past. And right now, his past seemed to be trying to get a hold on him again.

Rose described how she was feeling at that current moment to Tenny. She explained how bad of a headache she had from the Wolf, how her withdrawal symptoms were bothering her a lot, and how her stomach was messing with her both from the withdrawal and from the lack of food, and how her body was sore. She explained how she was feeling dizzy as well. She wanted to get out of that place as soon as she possibly could, but she didn't want to lose Liv as her nurse. She liked her. Liv was so nice to her and she always made sure she was well taken care of. But when Liv wasn't around, no one could care less about her. No one cared about her there except Liv and Maxence.

The last day's adventures had left Rose tired too, and she made sure to explain that to Tenny too. She told him exactly how she felt the best way she could. And to be honest, Rose Tyler felt pretty miserable. She was thankful that she was starting to get the help that she needed and wanted though. She needed the nutrition that she had been lacking for years, but it would take a while for her body to heal from all the abuse. She made sure to mention that she was pulled by her hair that morning too. Which hadn't helped her headache much. She glanced at Maxence a few times. She hoped he would be okay again soon.

Tenny listened to Rose silently and nodded from time to time. He pulled out his own bloc-notes and started writing with that awful handwriting all the doctors had. Then, he pulled out his prescriptions book and filled some of it. Rose was biting her lip. That awful handwriting. Must be a doctor thing. She raised an eyebrow lightly at the prescription book he pulled out. More prescriptions for her? Oh how fun. But if she needed them, she couldn't deny them.

"Who are the nurses assigned to you in this place?"

"Olivia 'Liv' Baxter," replied Maxence. "I don't know the other one but I will have to talk to her if she keeps treating my patient that way."

"Alexis is the other nurse. I don't have a last name. She goes by Alex mostly though."

Tenny wrote down the names of the nurse in the corner of his bloc-notes. He would have to ask for the full name when they would get their stuff back.

"It's not meds," he said to Rose when he caught her look on his prescription book. "I'm readjusting your treatment for the withdrawal. It's a more efficient one and it doesn't cause addiction or bad sickness. It's new, but it has good results. If it's not working, I'll change it again. The second one is for your nurses so they can change your diet and make your deficiencies disappear. The last one is me designating myself as your doctor to be sure you'll be well taken care of for as long as you'll be here."

"Thank you. I really appreciate that. You, your brother and Liv have done more for me in such a short time than anyone's ever done for me in five years. I'll never be able to thank you guys enough."

Rose was glad to be getting a different medication. Hopefully the new pill would help the withdrawal go by faster so she would be normal again. It was to hope the nurses would follow Tenny's instructions and give her the diet she needed. They probably would obey since Maxence and Tenny could get that place to be shut down.

Maxence got up and went into the bathroom a few minutes. Tenny noticed that Maxence seemed to be suffering from the exact same symptoms than Rose. And who was that damn Wolf she was talking about? Maxence didn't seem surprised but Tenny hadn't been there yesterday. He was working and so he didn't know what had happened. No one had told him. He asked no question though, and finished his prescriptions and notes and put them back into his bag.

Rose hoped that Maxence or someone who get Alex off of her case so she couldn't mess around with her anymore. She frowned when Maxence went into the bathroom. He must be pretty bad. He would probably need a bit longer than a few days to recover before coming back to work.

"Time will catch those 'anyone'. So will the karma. The wheel of fortune turns and they will pay."

"I know that they'll one day pay for what they've done. But that day just isn't today. I haven't lost all hope yet."

"Oh, shut up. This is bullshit," groaned Maxence. "The evil always wins. That's it. That's how the world is."

Tenny looked at his brother, raising an eyebrow, and back at Rose.

"He gets grumpy when he's not well. And rude too. But he'll be alright soon enough."

"Yeah, I heard he gets grumpy and rude when he's not feeling well."

"I assume you must be wondering about the Wolf I'm talking about."

"This is none of my business. That's part of your work with Max. Not mine."

And he wouldn't ask any questions. He kept it professional.

"That's true."

"I think I'm gonna have to talk a bit to these ladies working here. Who's the chief around here?"

He had no idea of who Nash was, and what she had done to Maxence and what she was ready to do to him to get rid of him. But now Tenny was part of the small team protecting Rose too. It would become harder for her to take them down one after another.

"Her name's Nash. One hell of a bitch. Have fun with her. She's something else."

Rose wouldn't tell him too much about Nash unless he wanted to know. Nash was horrible. She was a demon from hell. If she didn't get her way she just electrocuted people until her heart's content. She was a spoiled bitch. Rose hoped she wasn't married or anything.

Maxence shivered uncontrollably when they mentioned Nash. That damn woman had drugged him and electrocuted him. This was all her fault if he was feeling like shit right now. He wouldn't let her win once again. She was gonna pay. But first, he would ask for aspirin because he really needed it again, and he knew that Tenny wouldn't give him any. Rule number one. They had broken it once. They wouldn't do it twice. Too many risks. But the headache was no better so…

Rose bit her lip at Maxence's shivers. Nash really was a terrible woman. She was such a terrible woman and Rose hated her so much. She wanted nothing to do with her. She wanted to end her permanently. She wished she could wipe her memory completely. She wouldn't let her win either, but he really needed to get better first. And he needed to get out of there before Nash decided to do anything to him again. Which Rose wouldn't allow. She would let Nash torture her before that woman laid another hand on Maxence.

"I guess you didn't have your treatment this morning."

Considering the fact that she hadn't even had any good food to eat, it was sure that she hadn't had her treatment either. They would fix that mistake – which had been done on purpose, he could feel it. Maxence came out of the bathroom, more stumbling than actually walking. He had passed his head under the cold water again, hoping it would help with the headache.

"Aspirin's working better than your thing, T."

"It's no better, I guess?"

"No better at all."

"I'll bring you back home when I'll be done."

"Take good care of him, sir. He's my last shot out of here. Make him rest a lot."

Maxence acquiesced and sat back down, rubbing his temples. She felt guilty that Maxence had come there today just to make sure she was okay when he should have stayed in bed and taken care of himself.

"I guess that's not good."

"It could have been worse. Really worse. Miss Tyler is doing pretty good considering the conditions she's living in. I was thinking that we should go and bring her some good food."

"That's a good idea."

Rose's stomach growled loudly at the mention of food. She covered it with her hands and looked between the two men. She would be very happy for the food, and hopefully for her treatment too since she was trembling too much to do much of anything. Including drawing.

"Should've seen the conditions I was living in when your brother and I first met. You would've been truly shocked that I wasn't in the hospital. There was a point I was so sick I needed the hospital. But they didn't take me. I'm surprised I'm doing as good as I am too. But your brother's been taking good care of me, Mr. Spitz."

"Please, call me Mr Smith in here. They don't have to know Max and I are related."

"Alright, Mr. Smith. I'll keep that in mind. The secret of you two being related is safe with me. And doctor Spitz is right: it was indeed far much worse than now. A real cell. I made them transfer her into that room the very first day. But I think I've gotten a cold or something from being down there. That would explain that headache."

"I had just gotten over a cold and the flu a couple days before you came to see me. It was horrible down there. I'm glad you transferred me out of there. It really was like a real cell."

"I'm gonna get you out of here in no time. And allow the visits too. I don't know why they're forbidding them. It's important in a patient's therapy to have visits from family and friends."

"I want nowhere near here when you get me out of here. I don't know why they're forbidding visits either. It is important but Nash wants to keep me here. I'm ready to fully wipe her memory. I'm so done with her."

Maxence snorted. Wiping away Nash's memories wouldn't be enough. Memories could always come back. Well, in certain cases, because he had never gotten his back. He got up again, sighing. He drank more tea – his cup was already almost empty – and sighed. He slowly rubbed the skin between his two eyes with his thumb. It seemed to help a bit.

"That's a good way to get rid of headaches, or make them more bearable."

He moaned at the pain though. Those headaches were gonna kill him faster than Nash if they kept growing stronger. Thankfully the rub was helping a little bit. Tenny looked at him, biting his bottom lip. He shouldn't have taken Maxence there today but it wasn't possible to leave him alone in that condition. Maxence himself knew how vulnerable he was when the withdrawal was hitting and he liked having someone around to stop him from doing something he would regret. Tenny smiled a bit more at the stomach growling and got up. He walked to his brother and forced him to sit down on the bed despite him protesting.

"You know what? I'm taking care of the food, and you're staying here until I come back. I'll bring you back home right after."

"I'm good."

"No, you're not."

"T, it's okay. You've seen me in a worse condition the day you found me choking in my own vomit."

Tenny squeezed his shoulder to make him shut up. No one was supposed to know about his past of junky.

"You're staying here. I won't be long. Promise."

And he left the room. Rose was slightly smiling. She got to have some company while Tenny was gone. She wouldn't be alone. Even if he wasn't well, Maxence would stand up for her if Nash or any of other nurse came to bother her. She was protected and she wouldn't feel so lonely.

"I hope you get better soon."

"Me too. I don't get why I'm feeling like shit lately. Terrible headaches. Can't think straight. Not telling it to Mr Smith. He would run a pet scan or RMI or anything on me."

"I really hope you get better soon. Hopefully all of this will go away. Just rest a lot and you'll be okay. Do what your family tells you to."

Maxence heard the footsteps in the corridors and knew without looking up that it was Nash. The door opened on her and he stayed very calm though he wanted to smash her into the wall. Rose growled and glared at Nash, the golden spark much stronger in her eyes.

"You shouldn't be here, doctor Spitz."

"You know a lot about the 'should' and 'shouldn't' things to do, right?"

His voice was quiet but there was a threat in it and when he finally looked at her, she could see the golden spark in his eyes. She did her best not to smirk and to pretend ignoring what was going on with him. She noticed something else too and it was really hard not to smirk because it would be so easy to destroy him.

"Go to hell Nash," snapped Rose.

She wouldn't let Nash destroy Maxence. She wouldn't let that woman touch him ever again. Nash's voice was enough to make his headache worse instantly.

"I'm already in hell, Miss Tyler. And do you know what? I'm the queen of Hell."

Rose rolled her eyes and huffed lightly.

"Oh please. Then go to the other hell. I'm sure you'd fit in nicely there. You'd fit in nicely here too as one of the patients. Maybe I should put you in the same cell I used to be in for being such a naughty girl."

Nash laughed and Maxence winced at the sudden terrible sound. It turned his blood to ice, but he didn't show anything. He remained so calm it was impressing himself. Rose was also very impressed with how calm Maxence was. She could never be calm around Nash. Never. Not with the Wolf inside her. She would love to try something, anything on Nash. She would love to electrocute Nash until she was a damn vegetable.

"Go on and try girl."

"She won't try anything and you won't either. Now would you please shut up? No one's gonna go into that damn cell."

Except him, because it maybe would be the only solution to keep his headache under control. Down there, there was no one to talk to you or do any noise. It would be perfect. But it was cold and unhealthy and he was already feeling bad enough. Rose clicking her tongue because she disagreed with Nash wasn't helping him either.

"Yeah, yeah. Basic things. Do you have any aspirin?"

Nash raised an eyebrow. Maxence looked very weird right now. Very different from the guy she had seen last week. Very detached.

"No."

"Come on, everyone has aspirin on them."

"Except you."

"You took everything from me before I came in."

"True."

Nash put her hands in her pockets and pulled out a box of aspirin. She threw it to him. He groaned when it hit his chest and picked up the box. Rose growled briefly at the movement though.

"It's okay," he told her quietly. "I was supposed to catch it. She wouldn't hurt me, would she?"

Maxence pretended not to remember what she had done to him with the electrocution to see her reaction. She seemed surprised, and maybe a bit relieved. But he did remember it all and would have his revenge one day. When she wouldn't be on alert anymore. Hit when your enemy didn't expect you to.

The surprise and relief on Nash's face was something Rose didn't like. She wanted the head nurse to be nervous all the time when Maxence was around. She wanted her to always have to look over her shoulder. But Rose understood why Maxence was doing what he was doing. When Nash wasn't expecting it, Rose's small team would hit her hard with revenge.

"I don't know if she would. She's highly untrustworthy."

"Well, that's what all the patients thought about the medical staff trying to help them, that they're evil and untrustworthy."

Maxence was playing Nash's game, and he really hoped that Rose would see clear in his game, but that Nash wouldn't. It was dangerous to play that game though.

If Rose could see into his game thanks to the Wolf, it was clear that Nash didn't. He was fooling her so easily it was laughable. She could be so naïve sometimes.

"But we're not. We're just being hard on them so they can get better in no time and get rid of us quickly."

Nash seemed really surprised by his words, but happy too. As if her electrocution had worked on him. As if she had managed to brainwash him.

"Right. Absolutely right. But some patients just don't want to see it."

"You're right. I don't wanna see that. Clearly."

She eyed Rose to show him that he was talking about her.

"Yeah. I get it," admitted Maxence.

"Of course," responded Rose. "But I know that I'm right. I don't trust anyone here. Liv's the nice one. I like her. She makes sure I'm well taken care of. But Nash doesn't do that."

"Yeah, Olivia," said Nash, her scorn obvious in her voice. She didn't like Liv because of how gentle she was with the patients and particularly with Rose. "Don't get attached too much. She might leave sooner than planned."

Rose shot a glare at her. She wouldn't let Liv leave. She would do whatever she had to do. She didn't have too much power because she was stuck there, but she would use as much of her power as she could to keep Liv here.

"I don't think so," replied Maxence. "It wouldn't be a good idea to transfer Miss Baxter into another hospital or to put her on someone else's case. Stability is a key word into a patient's therapy."

If she wanted Liv to spend less time with Rose, she just had to add more patients to her planning but Maxence, as far as he was willing to go into that game, wouldn't give that option to Nash. If Liv could remain Rose's nurse to a full time scale, it would be perfect. So he kept that idea for himself and hoped that Nash wouldn't have the idea herself. He would have to let her know that Nash would be after her when she would be back. Liv was a precious woman and Maxence didn't want her to be hurt or tormented by Nash.

"And I might suggest to do something about Miss Alexis. I heard she was throwing some stupid rumours about you lately."

"Yeah. She's spreading some rumours about you. I've heard a few of them. Better take care of her quick."

 _Touché_. Rose smirked as Nash's face changed. She couldn't help herself. Maybe Alexis would get fired. Think twice before messing with a Tyler. Alex was gonna face one hell of a storm from Nash. She was gonna be in real deep trouble. Rose wondered how Alex was gonna act when she would see Nash, and how she would beg to keep her job. The blonde would love to see that.

"We didn't ask for your opinion, Wolf girl."

"True, but that's not the point there."

"I don't care. I'll give it anyway. You don't deserve any kind of respect."

"If you don't like me talking to you, don't come in here," Rose snapped.

Nash was certainly not gonna stop coming here since she liked bothering Rose and make her life a real hell. Plus, she still had things to work on with Maxence and her best chances of finding him was here. Thankfully, her brainwash had started working. He was on her side now. It was just a matter of days before he gave up on Rose. Maybe weeks. But Nash could be patient now. She ignored Rose for the rest of the small talk. Her growls and words weren't scaring her. She should be the one to be afraid. Her therapist was going Nash's way. She should even be panicked because he was her last shot. But she would understand later when he wouldn't be there anymore.

Rose was mad at Nash but she kinda liked that nickname though. _Wolf girl_. It suited her nice in a way. Maxence could feel the tension in the air between Rose and Nash and a part of him he truly didn't understand was feeling excited about the idea of a fight between those two when the other one was biting his cheek not to whimper because of the pain in his head.

Maxence would definitely keep Liv around. Liv, Tenny and him would be the three only people allowed around Rose. Along with Alex. Maxence hoped that she would get fired or put on another case because if she found out that he was behind the fact Nash had yelled at her, she would make Rose pay for sure. And he didn't want her to be hurt because of that dangerous game he was playing with the dragon keeping the place.

Nash glared at Rose for talking to her again and it made her doubt that what they were saying could be true, but she chose to believe Maxence who looked so honest that it was disturbing. He was on her side. Finally. Her manipulation/brainwashing had worked.

"Right. I have someone to talk to. We'll see each other soon, doctor Spitz."

"I'm sure of this. Real pleasure to me."

"And Miss Tyler, you don't deserve any kind of respect after all you've done to my staff and to those therapists."

"I haven't done much of anything to them. It's called self-defence what I did to them. Look it up."

Maxence put a hand over his heart and did a small bow. Nash left, obviously happy to see him act this way. The door slammed behind her and Maxence winced at the pain it caused in his head, but thankfully, Nash gave him aspirin. She obviously didn't know about his past as a junky.

Alex was going face the storm that was raging inside Nash. And maybe she would get gentler if she wanted to keep her job. Maxence was surprised to see Nash leaving without any word or threat or attack but he sighed. Lucky him. Her voice was unbearable with such a headache.

"Nice game you've got going on there. Keep it up. I'll play along the best I can," Rose gently said to him.

"Yeah, thought it was pretty good too. I'm relieved that you could see through it though. I was afraid you wouldn't understand."

"I'm relieved that I could see through it too. I got scared for a minute. But I understood. The Wolf helped me a little there as well. Wonderful game. But dangerous. Don't mess up in this game. Mess up and we might be done for."

"You won't pay for my mistakes if I make one. I won't let that happen."

Maxence would forever feel guilty if she was paying for this dangerous game _he_ was playing. He sighed and opened the pills box with trembling hands with Rose's help. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then, he looked at Rose who sighed in relief too.

"Don't tell anyone."

"I won't. I don't know what you're talking about."

And Maxence swallowed two pills with the rest of his tea before putting the box and thermos cup away in his bag. He rubbed his head slowly, waiting for the aspirin to act on his system. Rose smiled very briefly and carefully put a hand on his back, trembling still. She was trembling as much as him, if not more.

Maxence smiled a bit at Rose. A pretty sad smile though. What he was doing wasn't right. It wasn't right at all. It was breaking the rule number one. He felt her hand on his back as she rubbed it gently, he felt her trembling but he was no better. He started feeling a bit sleepily and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and tried to stay awake. Tenny wouldn't be long. He would bring him back home very soon. He just had to be strong a bit longer. Just a bit longer. If Rose could do it, he could do it too, right?

"It'll be alright. Just a little longer that you gotta be strong."

Rose hadn't touched many people at all throughout the five years she had been here. She had a long way to go before she could ever be at least almost fully normal. But she didn't have too far to go before she was out of there. Just like Maxence, she had to be stronger for a little longer.

"I'm alright. Just a bit sleepy. I'm supposed to be in bed after all."

"I know. But you'll be back in bed soon. When you go back home."

"Yeah. My girl is gonna take good care of me and I'll be back fighting fit. Not like today. But I really wanted T to see you while he was in a day off. He's a very good doctor and you can trust him. I swear."

"Don't fight her too much. But I appreciate you coming here today with Mr. Smith. He seems like a nice guy. I just need a little time before trusting him like I do trust you and Liv. I can warn Liv that Nash is trying to get rid of her if you want. Or you can. Whatever is easier."

"I understand. That's why I accepted to come with him. So you wouldn't be afraid. He understands too. But whoever is saying Liv first would have to tell her. I might send her a text later. If I don't forget."

"I wouldn't have let him touch me probably if you hadn't come along. Don't forget to send her a text. Maybe have your brother do it when you guys are heading back home."

"I'll think about it. Wait. I've got this thing."

Maxence pulled out a pen and traced a cross on his hand. He wrote 'text Liv' right under. His handwriting wasn't as awful as his brother's but it wasn't far. He put the pen back in his bag and put it on the ground. Rose smirked a bit at his awful handwriting. Nearly as bad as his brother's. A doctor's thing obviously.

Now that he had done everything he had come for, Maxence could relax. It felt weird to him to have Rose rubbing his back but it felt good too. Really good. He relaxed completely thanks to her soft touch, and barely had the time to think he was falling asleep that he was gone.

Rose smiled a little when he fell asleep and very carefully laid him down, so he wouldn't hurt his back, and covered him up with her blanket. Maxence didn't feel any of that. He was already too far gone. He would feel bad later for taking her bed when she needed it more than he did.


	18. Nightmare

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 18/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Maxence wasn't scared of Rose. Even if she got angry at him, he would remain perfectly calm. Because that was his job. Because other patients in the future would get mad at him, and attack him or anything else. He wasn't scared at all. That could happen. That was the job."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 18: NIGHTMARE

There was a quiet knock on the door but it didn't even wake Maxence up. He was too far gone to hear it. Which was a good thing since he needed rest. Tenny came in. He smiled at his sleeping brother.

"He wasn't the one I thought I would find asleep when I'll come back."

He had a full bag of food that smelled amazing in the hands. Rose smiled at him. She hadn't moved from the corner of her bed, leaving all the room for Maxence to sleep. He was a tall man and was taking most of the bed to be honest. She could have felt uncomfortable, but somehow, she wasn't. She had been close to the Doctor before. She sometimes missed his little touch. And Maxence looked so much like the Doctor she had known that she couldn't feel very uncomfortable around him.

"I'm tired, but I can wait. He got sleepy real quick. You just missed Nash too."

Maxence was lightly snoring, meaning that he was deeply asleep. He had fallen in a deep sleep in no time. His sickness and the lack of sleep he was suffering from had been a huge help on that one. He hadn't planned on falling asleep. It just happened. And now it would be hard to wake him up.

"I'm taking him back home soon. You'll get your bed back soon I swear."

"Alright. And I don't mind that he's using my bed. I can see he's tired and quite rough. I feel the same way."

The smell of food finally reached Rose's nose, making her stomach growled rather loudly. Her mouth watered as she licked her lips lightly. She felt quite embarrassed about how hungry she was. It was clear that she hadn't had a real meal in a while in that hospital. Tegan put the bag down on the desk and started emptying it. He didn't understand what Rose meant but didn't ask any questions. He smiled a bit at her stomach growling. She was starving. Which wasn't surprising.

"What'd you get?"

"I found a cafeteria not so far. They had everything I was looking for. Crudités, vegetables, starchy food, meat. Not the disgusting one you can find in a hospital but a really good one. Cheese and yoghurts. I picked up some biscuits and milk and hot tea too. You're gonna need all of this."

Maxence's nostrils flared and the man moved lightly at the smell of the food, but he didn't wake up. Rose felt her mouth-watering so much at the mention of all the food Tenny had brought to her that she had to swallow constantly to not drool on herself.

"That sounds like a mini buffet to me. Geez. Do I need to hide all of this in my room somewhere or are you two eating some too? Or do I need to eat all of this in one meal?"

"This is all yours."

Tenny showed her the desk full of food and stepped back so she could eat. He would stay until she was done eating to be sure no one was gonna take that food away from her.

"Oh, and I also have your treatment."

He checked his pockets, found a small box and pulled out two pills out of it. He put them down on the desk, next to the water. They were different from the ones she used to take before.

"Thanks."

"You are under a special diet from now on. Your nurse, Olivia, will be told as soon as I will call her. They won't give you trash food anymore. Eat as much as you can. I'll put the rest in their little kitchen fridge, and they'll give it back to you tonight. You can hide the biscuits though. Just in case."

"Sounds good. I'm liking this special diet so far based on what I see in front of me. I'll eat until I'm stuffed. I'm very happy to know they won't be giving me trash food anymore. And I'll hide the biscuits. I have a good place for them. Hopefully they'll give me that food in the little kitchen fridge."

Rose wouldn't have a problem eating all of that in at least a meal or two. But she really did need it. All the food looked really amazing. She had forgotten what most of the foods Tenny listed tasted like and she would be happy to find that out once again.

Tenny would make sure that they would give her the right food. They had to find a nurse they could trust. Someone like Liv. Someone that could be there when she wasn't. But for now, they had to work with Alexis.

Tenny looked back at Maxence. If the food hadn't woken him up, it meant he was really deeply asleep. His brother would have to drag him back to the car now.

"Thank you again, Mr. Smith. You really don't know how much I appreciate this."

"I chose that job to help people. I stick to it. Those people shouldn't do that job if they can't treat humans properly."

"They really don't know how to treat humans properly. Nash especially. Watch out for her. She might act all nice. But she's not."

"Yeah, I'll be careful. I don't trust people so easily. Don't worry about me."

"Me neither."

Most of the people there were terrified of Rose because of the rumours but none of them had actually made the effort to go past them and get to learn who Rose Tyler was. If they did, they would stop being afraid and start seeing that Nash was actually lying to them all.

Maxence wasn't scared of Rose. Even if she got angry at him, he would remain perfectly calm. Because that was his job. Because other patients in the future would get mad at him, and attack him or anything else. He wasn't scared at all. That could happen. That was the job. He wasn't even dreaming of it though. There was a clear frown on his face but it wasn't because of any dream. His mind was pretty calm.

Tenny walked to Maxence and put a hand on his forehead. Some fever. The pulse was a bit fast too. He was still in pain for sure. Tenny really had to bring him back home. A good bath, some soup and a full night of sleep should work on him. He would have to tell Donna because Maxence wouldn't do it on his own. He wouldn't have the will to if the headache was still there when he would wake up.

Rose smiled at the desk full of food while Tenny took a look at his brother. She couldn't believe all that food was for her. She really couldn't remember the last time she got so much food to herself. She got off her bed and sat down on the chair slowly before she started eating, hunching over her food a bit. She was unconsciously protecting her food. She had become so used to doing that over the years she had been here. Some habits became like second nature.

"And thanks for staying around until I'm done eating."

Rose was glad to have some company today, even if it was the company of her sick therapist and her newly named doctor. They were good to her, that's all that mattered.

Tenny picked up Maxence's glasses and put them in his bag so he wouldn't break them while sleeping so deeply. He smiled. Maxence had placed a great trust in Rose if he could fall asleep that way while being in her room, in a psychiatric hospital. Tenny had always been surprised by his brother's decision to become a therapist. Maxence had been terrified of hospitals and doctors and therapists for a long time and no one had been able to explain that so sudden fear. No even him. And since he was missing two full years of his life, who knew what could have happened to him in that time? He was such in a lame state when he had come back, and it had become worse since he had started to drink a lot and to drug himself too. Now all of this was over, but Tenny still didn't understand his decision. No one did. But that didn't matter. They had supported him, and they were all proud for conquering his fears.

"Well, I guess that's the rule. Someone has to stay around whatever you're doing to be sure you wouldn't do anything wrong, right?"

He had read a lot of books on those institutions and knew that someone always had to watch over the patients so they wouldn't try to kill themselves or hurt themselves. Even the showers. Which was something Tenny would never want to do. Watching someone showering was breaking intimacy. And some people really needed to feel that they were trusted by the medical staff. So why keep on watching showers if it wasn't for traumatising them a bit more?

"Yes. That's true. I never thought of that. Stupid me. I don't do anything wrong. But I appreciate that company nonetheless. Even if it is required for you to stay. Alexis doesn't stay."

"That Alexis doesn't even give you proper food. And there wasn't any cutlery either. Barely a plastic plate. Would be very hard to do anything with that."

"She never has," Rose sighed. "She hates me. She believes all the rumours around here about me. They are pretty mean and they aren't even true. There isn't much to do with a plastic plate, either. There isn't much to do with anything in that kitchen."

But if you were desperate enough, you could find a way to. However, Rose had been in that hospital for years, and in terrible conditions. If she had wanted to kill herself, she would have done it long ago. There was very little risks. They still had to be on alert, but Tenny doubted that she would ever try something. If something happened to Maxence or Olivia maybe. Because she really trusted them. She was so determinate to get out of here that it was the only thing that could make her think about suicide. And Tenny thought that Maxence wouldn't allow anyone to watch anyone else under the shower. Maybe he had had to do it already and Tenny was sure Maxence had found a way to be there without really being there. His brother was so polite and respectful.

Rose had tried killing herself years ago. Repeatedly. Whatever she found, she tried to kill herself with. She had been in those terrible conditions for years and she was done with it. She was so done. She had been in that horrible cell since the first day she had been there. They had just shoved her down there once they found out why she was there. Rose wouldn't try something with her team around. She had people to help her now. She had hope.

"Unfortunately, some people are stupid enough to believe what is said to them. And some other people hear those things about themselves so many times that they end up believing it too. Sadly, so sadly."

Tenny knew what he was talking about since he had lived it. When he was much younger. When he was just a little boy. That's how Max and him had met in the end. Because Max had stood up for him, had protected him. From friends, they had become brothers. First unofficially. Then, when Joanne had adopted him, officially. He had their name but he sometimes used his old name. Like today in this hospital.

"I've got a bunch of nicknames. Most of them not nice. And sadly, I believe them about myself. Even if they aren't true. The same things said to be every day. You can't help but believe it. It got so bad, I went silent for a whole year. Never said one word to anyone. Just spoke with growls and body language. Nothing more. It really is so sad."

Rose blinked away some tears and continued to eat to hide her quivering chin. She didn't want to cry in front of them. Plus, she had cried enough for today.

"Never heard a single rumours about you. Never heard anything about you until today actually. Professional confidentiality. Max is really good at keeping things secrets. Old habits. It's useful in the job. It was a real hell in the past years. Well. Can't tell much about it. But there's more to Maxence Spitz than he will ever show you. Full of mysteries this guy."

Tenny scratched his scruffy face and looked over at his sleepy brother. Full of mysteries indeed, and one of them was the words covering his body. And what was Rose's importance in that mystery? Because she had one for sure. Maybe the Wolf she was talking about all the time was part of it too. They were very similar in the end. Almost same way of acting. As if Rose was a copy of Maxence, as if she had known him before and spent enough time with him to catch his little habits. But that was impossible. They would know it. They would remember it if he had known a Rose Tyler. But none of them had ever seen her before. Tenny had only met a Jackie Tyler. Probably the mother.

He distractedly stroked the left side of his jaw, remembering the pain he had felt when Jackie Tyler had punched him for a reason he still didn't understand. But he pushed the memory away to take care of his brother. Rose had growled at him but she hadn't attacked him at least.

"That's shocking to hear. All my other therapists knew every rumour about me before they even walked into my room."

She sighed deeply. Maxence was so different from the other therapists.

"Well, he surely did know them all when he came here the first time, and chose not to believe any of it. Sounds pretty much like him. Innocent until you prove him wrong."

And that attitude had gotten him into a lot of troubles. But that's how he was. Always a chance to everyone.

"I'm sure all the nurses here tried to get him to turn around and leave, to scare him. But it clearly didn't work since he stayed. It's hard to find people like him."

It indeed was very hard to find people as good as Maxence. Oh, he had suffered in his life, but none of those ordeals had made him change, had made him a bitter man who liked being mean. Never. Maxence was a sweet gentle guy, but it was better not to provoke him because he had a strong character – not as strong as Donna's though and Tenny had always found their couple pretty funny.

"You're right there. People are so much more than what they want to show. It's interesting to talk to them."

As a doctor, people trusting him with their lives and little secrets. And he liked talking with them all. That's why he was always late, but he had a good reputation and people liked him.

"Yup. That's right too. It really is interesting to talk to them. It's interesting to peel them back layer by layer and find out more and more about them. If they're willing to let you do so.'

"You get it. You could be a great therapist too."

Tenny grinned at her. There were some people that would have understood her words in another way, in a perverted way. Not him. Rose was a beautiful though. Sure her body was marked with the mistreatments and bad nutrition she had suffered from here, but she still was beautiful. Just not Tenny's type, that was all.

"Thanks, Mr. Smith. I do get it. I always will."

"Anyway, you're Max's first case. He wants to do it right. He's very conscientious in his work."

Tenny smiled softly. He wondered for a moment why Rose was locked there because she looked so normal to him, but there was that story with the Wolf. He didn't ask though. Once again, it wasn't his business. That was hers, and Maxence to an extent.

"How well he does his first case tells whether or not he'll be a good therapist. He seems very conscientious of his work. But I can feel he'll do great. He doesn't give up easily."

"He was already pretty good before. He was our 'mister broken hearts' in school. Always listening to people and giving them advices to get better."

Maxence already had his vocation back then, he just didn't know it yet. And here he was now. Sometimes life was pretty surprising. Tenny smiled a bit at the memories of his past, of the little Maxence helping people with his small but wise advices. He indeed was a good therapist now because he had more experience and because he was more understanding than any other people. Which reminded Tenny of something. Maxence's patient was a Tyler. He had met a Tyler once. A blonde fury who tried to strangle him. But definitely a Tyler.

"I think I've met your mother once. Well, her fist connected with my jaw."

He distractedly stroked the left side of his jaw, remembering the pain he had felt when Jackie Tyler had punched him for a reason he still didn't understand. But he pushed the memory away. Rose had growled at him but she hadn't attacked him at least.

"That definitely sounds like Jackie Tyler, my mother. I wonder what you did to make her mad. She's heard of doctor Spitz before I guess. She told me so when I saw her recently. But visits are forbidden for me. I'm still wondering how Liv got her in here."

"Oh, she just said something about hating me. Even if I never met her before that. She took me for somebody else."

He shrugged. That was a long forgotten story. He hadn't even filed a complaint. It was all over now. Just a misunderstanding. Nothing more. He didn't want to face the woman's fist again though. But that's not what drew his attention in Rose's words. He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Misunderstandings. Those are common."

"What do you mean visits are forbidden? They locked you down here hoping no one would ever come, hoping your family and friends would just forget about you? What kind of hospital is that?"

"Visits to me are forbidden. No one but you, Liv and doctor Spitz can come and see me. No friends or family. They locked me down in here hoping my friends and family would forget about me. And I wouldn't have been surprised if they had. But they haven't. I don't know what kind of hospital does that. But this one is one of them. It's sad."

Rose cleared her throat and blinked a few times to hide her sadness. She lost out on so much, she had missed so much. She wondered how she was able to forgive her mother for placing her there. But Jackie was the only blood related family she had left. And she loved her dearly. She missed her a lot too. She wanted to see her again soon.

"I was able to write them all letters and she came around the same day I wrote them. The relief on her face. It was the first news she had heard from me in five years. They kept pushing them away to the exit again and again whenever they tried to visit."

A tear rolled down her cheek quickly at the memory. But she wiped it away. Tenny noticed it but didn't say anything. He would cry every day and much more than that if he was locked there.

"You said your mom has come over. It means she hasn't forgotten about you. I'm sure no one has forgotten about you. They've probably tried and tried again to come, and always gotten driven back to the exit because the staff here is terrible."

"Yeah. Liv has managed to bring her to my room before Nash could say a thing. Doctor Spitz must have been told by Liv."

"He tends to forget things when he has headaches so violent. Liv might have to tell him everything all over again."

"I sometimes forget things when I have violent migraines. Help him remember. Maybe Liv can tell him again."

"Migraines are terrible things. I'll help him. Don't worry. He'll be perfectly alright next time he will come here."

Tenny was doing a promise he didn't know if he could keep it. He knew the situation Maxence was in too well. The withdrawal, the nightmares, the migraines. It had already happened. And no one wanted it to happen again. But it was happening again. On a less important scale though. They could still help him before it was too late.

"Indeed. I would know. I wish I had the help he does. I wish I had my family at just a phone call away."

"Your family is at just a one call away. They're just refusing to let them in," he replied, the scorn for the hospital obvious on his face.

He had come here for the first time today but he already hated the place. And he would hate it even more if he knew about Nash electrocuting his brother. But he didn't know."

"I know. But because they're refusing to let them in, it feels like they aren't one call away. It feels like they're oceans away and I can't get a hold of them so easily. I hate it here. I just wanna go home."

She had pronounced the last sentence with a childish voice. She hated the place and had hated it since day one. She just wanted it all to be done and to get away from there as soon as she could.

Tenny noticed the childish voice, but didn't say a thing. The girl had been here for years. She was probably barely just twenty when she was locked there. Not a place for young woman. She should have been wasting her time in town with friends, dancing in clubs and drinking alcohols. Having fun. And instead, there she was. There they were, trying to help her to get out of there and living a real life.

Tenny hoped she would able to catch up all those years she had spent here, that she would go out to shopping, and see friends, and go to movies and clubs and enjoy her freedom. Not right away of course because she would need some time to adjust, but maybe after a few months. It took Maxence months after his comeback to go out of the house for the first time and only because Tenny and Joanne had forced him. If they had known that it would throw him into the depths of drugs and alcohol, they wouldn't have done such a thing. And now they were worried every time he was showing any sign of wanting a drink or a med, any sign of being in pain, of wanting to fall back into his vices.

"Don't worry. That's gonna change. I'll have to let Max know. Your mother will be able to come every day if she wants too. So will your friends. Max, Olivia and I will make sure of that."

"I can't wait for that to happen. I miss it. I miss seeing her every day. I also miss seeing my friends every day."

"Yeah, I can imagine."

Tenny had missed Maxence so much when he had disappeared for two years. They had always been very close to each other and when Maxence had disappeared, Tenny had been left alone. He was lost, so lost. And so was Maxence when he had come back with no memories of the last two years of his life. But they had caught up ever since and they were closer than ever now.

"Yeah. It hurts. It's indescribable. I've always hated it. Being alone. But I'm so used to the feeling now. It's scary though."

Rose closed her eyes. She was sure that Clara felt very lonely and so lost without her. She hoped that her best friend hadn't moved on or anything. But Rose wouldn't blame her for moving on. It hurt though. It always hurt Rose to think about how alone she was. Once she would get out of here permanently, she wouldn't wanna be alone. Ever. She wouldn't like it. But she wouldn't be used to having someone always there either. Being alone was something she had never liked, but it was something she had adapted to. The Doctor was always saying she quickly adapted to things, which was a good thing in a way.

"I guess no one really likes being alone. We sometimes need it to refocus, to take some quiet time to get ready to face an ordeal, but it doesn't mean we like it."

And Tenny knew what he was talking about because he was spending all his days with patients, talking with them, laughing with them, helping them, and when he came back home, he was on his own. Alone with the silence. And he hated it. That was why he often slept at his mother's. He never said a word about how afraid he was of that solitude, of how much he was envying Maxence and Donna, but his mother seemed to understand him without him talking. She was very good at it. And he was glad of it.

Once, Tenny had lived with Maxence precisely because he couldn't live on his own but when Maxence disappeared, and when he started dating Donna, Tenny had to move into his own flat and face his fear. It was better now but he still hated the solitude.

"I don't like being alone. I never have. We sometimes need it to relax or to prepare for something. But that never means we like it. I only was ever alone to do just that. I was alone to just refocus or prepare for something. But I've never been so alone for such a long time."

Rose would always spend a lot of time with her mum or her friends. Sometimes she would spend all day with one of them. But if her mum was at work and she spent all day with her friends, Mickey and Clara and then went home, she was alone with the silence. And she never really liked it.

"Good thing we came around then!" exclaimed Tenny with a bright smile. "We'll get you out of that solitude. If they're refusing letting your family in while they have all the papers," he showed the one he had just typed, "I'll be calling the cops or something to force them to. I have a friend who's working in a courthouse. I might talk to him about this place. Maybe an inquiry could be launched right after."

Nash wasn't gonna like this if she was told that Tenny was planning on actually sending the cops to her but she was cunning. She would find a way to trick them, and make them believe that the place is a real haven of peace when it was a living hell. Tenny didn't need to know more about the place though. He had seen enough to file a complaint and ask for inquiry, but his first mission as a doctor was to be sure that the patients would be safe. If he ever asked for an inquiry, the staff might get its revenge on the patients and made them pay after the cops were gone, and Tenny truly didn't want that to happen. He didn't want those poor people to suffer even more than they were already suffering.

"Yeah. Good thing you guys came around indeed. I hope you guys can get me out of this solitude so they'll let my friends and family visit. If the cops have one look at this place, it'll be shut down for sure. Especially if they look downstairs."

"Maybe I could call someone to come over for the rest of the day if you want. A friend. Your mother. Anyone to stay with you if you need it."

"I'd love that. I need someone here with me. I don't wanna be alone today. I can give you my friend's number. I'm not promising it'll work since a lot changes in five years. But it's something."

Rose wanted to see Clara and hopefully she would be easy to get a hold of. Tenny pulled out a pen from Maxence's bag and gave it to Rose.

"Write your friend's number on my hand. I'll call him or her on my way back home."

That was a promise he could do at least. And they better let that friend come in or that hospital was gonna be in great troubles. They were already creating so many troubles with Maxence. Rose took the pen and slowly wrote Clara's number on his hand, writing her friend's first and last name above the number.

He looked at Rose as she wrote the phone number and the full name of a certain 'Clara Oswald'. He would call her soon as he would be in his car. With a hands-free kit of course. He wouldn't risk his life for a phone call as important as it was.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. Maybe stay on the line with her until she gets here or something. So they'll let her in."

"I'll do that," he promised.

"Thank you," she said and flashed him a soft smile.

A smile. It didn't reach her eyes, but at least, she was smiling a bit and he was glad to see that small smile on her face. Not many smiles had been able to reach her eyes the past five years she had been here. But that was changing, slowly.

Tenny was sincerely disgusted by the hospital's way of acting. He grabbed Maxence's bag and pulled out the computer while Rose was still eating. He took a look into Maxence's files. It would be easier to fake a document with that computer than to fake his brother's awful handwriting. But he didn't find what he was looking for.

"Come on, Max. Why don't you have this precious file?" Tegan murmured for himself.

He ended up opening Microsoft Word and started typing quickly, imitating the official documents he had seen earlier. Maxence always had a small portable printer. Tenny found it in his bag. He printed the document he just wrote after he corrected it and put computer and printer back into the bag. He forged Maxence's signature at the bottom of the document. Something he had learned to do over the years. Maxence could do his too. And since they both had an awful handwriting, no one ever saw any difference. He put it in his pocket to give to the front office later.

Tenny smiled at Rose. He was faking an official document as if it was perfectly normal. He wondered why Max hadn't thought about it in the first place, allowing the visits with an official paper signed by his hand – well, not his in that case but no one would see the difference.

Maxence moved in his sleep, his frown clearer and clearer on his face. Tenny checked his chest quickly, while Rose was back to eating. He had read that Maxence had a new word there. And according to the bloody bandage, it was recent. The pain was coming from here. The fever might be related to it too. Maybe an infection? It was to hope that it wasn't. They really couldn't give Maxence anything stronger than aspirin right now. And even aspirin was dangerous to give to him right now.

Rose watched Tenny out of the corner of her eye as she ate as he took care of his brother. Maxence was sleeping so deeply it was scary. Rose smiled a bit. She felt honoured in a way that he had such a trust in her. Like he knew she would never hurt him. Because she never would. She would only protect him. She would keep him safe the absolute best she could while he was here taking care of her. Tenny had won a bit of her trust too by being gentle and bringing her lots of food. She was savouring every bite of it.

"Well, I have to take care if that now, Max," Tegan murmured, more for himself than for his brother.

He kept the shirt unbuttoned and started pulling things out of his medical bag. He pulled on a clean pair of latex gloves and got rid of the bloody bandage, throwing it into a plastic bag that would be the garbage. He cleaned the wound and examined it closely. It was still bleeding, and it indeed had started to get infected. Tenny did his best to keep it the cleanest he could and did another bandage. If Maxence was no better in a few hours, the hospital would be his only option. But if they asked for the words, it could send him straight there in that unhealthy hospital. And that could kill him.

Tenny buttoned the shirt again after he pulled off the gloves and threw them into the plastic bag. Thankfully, Maxence was asleep so he hadn't had to use any painkiller but Tenny had heard the whimpers and seen the strange golden light running through his veins. Something wasn't right and he couldn't tell what it was. He didn't even know his brother had aspirin on him, that he had taken two pills instead of just one.

Rose continued eating silently. She hadn't expected it to taste so amazing. But it did. She tilted her head as she saw her name on Maxence's chest and frowned a bit. Why was her name on his chest? So many questions sparked in her head at once.

Maxence seemed to relax after Tenny changed his bandage and curled up in the bed, pulling the cover all over him. He had probably forgotten where he was and what he was supposed to do there. It would be quite weird to explain to the nurses of the front office that he had fallen asleep and that Tenny had to carry him because he wouldn't wake up. Tenny knew it for sure. Nothing would wake up Maxence before hours now. If the smell of food hadn't worked, nothing else would.

Tenny put his things back in his bag and tied the plastic bag. He put it in his medical bag. He would throw it later in the appropriate bin. He looked back at Rose when he was done. She seemed to really appreciate the food and he was glad that she was eating with so much appetite. Usually, people barely ate after they had been fed with trash food for months. And they barely trusted a man they didn't know much. But Rose was eating with a big appetite and her position was pretty clear: she was protecting her food, afraid that they could take it from her. But Tenny wouldn't steal her food. It was all hers. He had bought it all – well the hospital had – for her. Rose took the medication that they had given her and drank some tea to chase it down.

"Does the pill have any side effects? Like drowsiness or something?"

"It might cause drowsiness, and nausea, but nothing really bothering according to the studies. But like I said, if it doesn't fit you, I'll change it."

There were a lot of meds on the market for the withdrawal, but each patient was different. They were reacting differently. It depended on what they were taking. If Maxence had had this thing when they forced him to give up…

"Alright. I'll watch out for those symptoms and any other ones. Hopefully it does work."

"I'll have to tell them that I had to knock your therapist out because he was being annoying," joked Tenny. "They won't believe me I guess. But they can't accuse you. Everyone can see he's asleep."

"They wouldn't believe you. Just say he fell asleep. He did look tired. So they might believe you if you say that."

Maxence growled a bit in his sleep. They raised an eyebrow at him. What was he dreaming of? Tenny slowly got up. Maxence was good for now, but Tenny would have to tell Donna to keep an eye on him to be sure he wasn't developing a more important infection or anything else.

"He wasn't feeling well either. Still isn't. That could work. But he needs to sign the form to get his stuff back."

"Doctor Spitz is my last shot out of here. You gotta make sure he gets better. Otherwise I'm a lost cause for sure," admitted Rose. "A lost case."

And the man had his problems to solve while helping her. Like why he had words engraved in his skin. And her name. Rose Tyler. What did it mean? Maybe the Wolf and herself were a part of his mystery. Hell, maybe they were even the key to it. Maybe Rose's assumptions were right. Maybe he was the Doctor and maybe Maxence was the human version of the ninth regeneration. The Doctor's dream of being a part of her life had come true. Just not in a way he had expected.

"Yeah. They looked desperate enough to call a guy who just got out of school. He read your record for a whole week after he got it. I'm sure he knows it by heart now. And he decided to help you. He won't let you down, you can trust me on this."

He knew his brother very well and he knew that Maxence wouldn't let her down until she was out of there, and fine again. It would take years maybe, but Maxence wouldn't give up.

"They were desperate. Real desperate. Desperate to call him. But he knows what he's talking about. He knows what to do. He's done everything right so far. I'm shocked that he took that much time to learn about me tough. A week of his life to read some file about some girl."

Maxence's growls eventually became louder, and his body was moving as if he was protecting himself from any kind of danger. Tenny caught his hand.

"It's alright, Max. I'll take you home very soon," he promised him, but that didn't seem to help him to relax.

Rose finished eating, leaving a few things left besides her biscuits. She had taken little breaks when she was eating so she wouldn't have such a high chance of getting sick. She frowned a bit at Maxence's growls and moves in ways of trying to protect himself. She did that a lot in her sleep. She used to do it much more often.

"I do that when I sleep. I wonder what he's dreaming about," Rose murmured.

The Wolf also seemed to be worried for Maxence because Rose's migraine was getting worse and it was the only reason she could see for it. Her crying session couldn't have triggered a migraine so powerful, and certainly not hours later.

"If he's having such a nightmare, he will wake up any time soon."

And Tenny would have to call their mother or Donna because Maxence always needed them after a nightmare and that one looked very bad according to how agitated Maxence was. His face was showing some kind of pain and he was definitely trying to protect himself from something.

"Yup. He sure will. And I'm sure he'll need some comfort from someone in his family. I wake up from real bad nightmares like that."

Tenny looked sadly at Rose. She had no one to comfort her when she had one. No one but Liv or Max but they weren't always there and for years, she had had to comfort herself because there wasn't anybody else to. It was very sad to know.

"Are you done?" Tenny asked politely while Maxence was still growling and moving. He didn't mean to hurry her but he wanted to bring Maxence back home quickly.

"Yes. I'm done. You can take him home now. I'm stuffed and ready for bed."

"Alright. Just a few more minutes. I'm taking your food to the fridge to be sure it won't be put into the bin or something. I'll give them some serious instructions. It's time to change their rules. Mind to keep an eye on him while I'm going to the kitchen?"

"Alright. I'll watch over doctor Spitz while you take my food to the fridge. I hope they'll finally listen to your and doctor Spitz's instructions when it comes to me."

"Thanks."

Tenny got up and started gathering the food into two boxes. He left the tea, the milk and the biscuits on the desk and put everything back in the bag before he walked out of the room. Soon as the food would be in the fridge, he would bring Maxence back home. Maxence who was beginning to be really agitated now that his brother wasn't holding his hand anymore. A loud and threatening growl escaped from his mouth and he suddenly woke up yelling like crazy and struggling against the sheets. He was soaked because of how badly he was sweating. He didn't know where he was anymore, nor what he was doing there but the first person who opened the door to see what was happening in there and see why he was yelling that way was the person he clung to as if his life depended on that person. And that person was no one else but Nash who was wandering around when she had heard him. A bunch of nurses had followed her though and they were all in the doorway, just to satisfy their curiosity about Maxence Spitz whose name was often murmured in the corridors…


	19. Games

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 19/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "But Nash had been quicker than her and was already in the room when Rose got close to her therapist to help him. She growled, her eyes immediately glowing gold again. She wouldn't let the staff of that hospital touch him. She wouldn't let them ruin him once again."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 19: GAMES

Rose hide her biscuits, milk and tea in the safety box when Tenny left the room and made sure the box was well locked and hidden like always. It wasn't hot enough in the room for the milk and tea to sour. She came back to her room and glanced at her sleeping therapist. She could have smiled if he didn't look in the middle of a terrible nightmare. Instead, she felt sad, and her trust in him grew a little bit bigger. She realised he was also having terrible nightmares. Like hers. Or worse. She couldn't know and didn't want to take a look in his mind. She had enough with her own demons. She sat back down at her desk just when Maxence woke up. She pulled the blanket off of him carefully and took his hand carefully.

"Doctor Spitz, it's okay. It was just a dream. Relax. Breathe," she told him.

But Nash had been quicker than her and was already in the room when Rose got close to her therapist to help him. She growled, her eyes immediately glowing gold again. She wouldn't let the staff of that hospital touch him. She wouldn't let them ruin him once again.

However, Tenny was away when Maxence woke up, yelling, and Rose's words didn't reach him so he was clinging to Nash, totally lost, trying to escape from something, muttering words with no sense at all. Tenny didn't know his brother was clinging to a woman he was hating, though he was playing her game. He was speaking about his shadow talking to him and his eyes were golden, but he was closing them so hard that no one would see it, and his headache was still so terrible.

"Shh. It's alright," murmured Nash.

The head nurse had understood that Maxence wasn't himself right now. He wouldn't be gripping her so hard if he was himself. Even if he was on her side. She rubbed his back, glaring at Rose while Maxence gripped her harder and begged for the voice to stop. With everything they were seeing now, they could have him locked down against his will. But they wouldn't. Nash still needed him. She just had to calm him down, to earn a bit more of his trust.

The Wolf was furious to see Maxence clinging to Nash. It was causing Rose an absolutely terrible migraine. It took a lot of strength from the young woman not to curl up and cry from the pain. Even if she was used to it by now. She too rubbed his back and the back of his neck lightly to try and help with his pain. She was glaring back at Nash and didn't plan on taking her hand away from Maxence despite the clear threat in the head nurse eyes. Nash's hands were cold on his back while Rose's hands were pretty warm and way more relaxing to him than Nash's, but he wouldn't say it out loud. Couldn't either. He was stuck in his nightmare and nothing seemed to reach him anymore.

"I can make the voice stop," Nash promised him.

Maxence let her go, getting free from her so cold hands, only to press his legs to his chest in a protective attitude. He didn't try to get away from Rose's touch though. Rose pulled him closer to her carefully since he didn't want to be away from her. She would try and warm him up the best she could if that's what he needed. Or she would try and help him relax with her warmth. Maxence quickly glanced at his shadow, his shadow which looked so normal and harmless to them but so dangerous and terrifying to him, and looked back at Nash. He didn't lean into Rose's touch, though he really wanted to because it was comforting and so warm.

"I want the voice to stop," he muttered, his voice sounding childish.

Nash nodded and pulled two pills out of her pocket. She held them out to him but he refused to take them. There was still an ounce of awareness in his mind. He knew he couldn't take anything. Especially if it was given by Nash Grieve.

"I can't."

Nevertheless, Nash insisted. Rose shook her head lightly. She wouldn't let him take the pills. From what she knew, it wasn't a good idea to allow him to take pills. But Maxence was desperate enough for the voice to stop, for the migraine to go away to grab the pills from her hand and swallow them quickly without any water, knowing that it was wrong to do so. Rose wasn't quick enough to stop him. Nash ignored her and observed Maxence. He seemed to calm down almost immediately after swallowing the pills but kept looking at his shadow.

"It'll be done in a few minutes. You'll be alright."

Rose glared darkly at Nash and pushed her away from Maxence for her not to touch him or give him anything anymore. The Wolf's presence was stronger than ever now. The entity and the young woman were gonna protect the therapist against the head nurse. Whatever it would take.

"Leave him alone!" the blonde snapped.

If she screamed loud enough, maybe Tenny would come running. And the man came back almost in time. He shoved all the curious nurses away and ran into the room. He had heard Maxence's yell while he was walking back to the room and rushed there. He politely but firmly pushed Nash away. It made Rose smirk.

"What have you given him? You can't give him anything! No meds of any sort."

His voice was cold and sharp. Rose moved away from Maxence when Tenny examined Maxence very quickly and very professionally as if he was his doctor and not his brother, and checked his eyes. He looked back at Nash.

"What have you given to him?"

"Nothing really strong."

"He can't take anything at all!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

Tenny glared at her and focused on Maxence again. His brother couldn't take his eyes off of his shadow and he was genuinely terrified by what he was seeing. Though he was the only one to know what was scaring him so much.

"Get away! All of you!"

Surprisingly, everyone obeyed – even Rose backed away! – and closed the door behind them. Tenny couldn't yell at Maxence for being stupid. He would betray their relationship. He would do that later. Instead, he caught his chin and forced him to open his mouth. Then, he touched the back of his throat with two fingers to make him vomit the pills. It was as if he had done that so many times before that it had become an habit.

"That was Nash. Who gave him those pills. She can't be trusted. At all. She's dangerous and cunning. If I told you all I knew about her, you'd wanna do what I wanna do to her."

Rose was unsure if the nurses and Nash were just outside of the door or not, but she needed to say it out loud anyway. Even if it meant she would have to pay for it later. Tenny needed to know who and what he was facing. Rose just wanted to give him a heads up about her in case she tried anything with him.

Tenny hadn't seen the danger coming from Nash though he had been warned against her. Giving pills to Maxence was like saying to him that the easy way was better than the fight, that numbing the pain is better than learning how to live with it. It was an invitation to fall into the vicious circle once again. But Tenny wouldn't let that happen. Never. And that nurse was gonna hear from him before they went back home. Maxence struggled against his brother and pushed his hands away.

Rose was learning how to live with the pain again without the painkillers. Once she was off that withdrawal treatment, no more pills. At all. She wouldn't touch another pill bottle. She was kinda scared of drugs and painkillers now. But did you blame her? She had been through enough with them. Hopefully Maxence would never fall back into that vicious cycle.

"I don't know her, so I'm not gonna say anything, but I guess she now understands that she can't give him anything. No matter how desperate he looks, no matter how much he's begging for it. He can't take no pills at all. Not even aspirin."

Tenny sighed. He didn't want anyone to know that his brother had been a junky at some point of his life. Not because he was ashamed of it. Oh, they all were in a way, but not because he had drugged himself for months before they noticed it, but because they hadn't noticed it from the start. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard if they had known it from the beginning. Maybe Maxence wouldn't have suffered so much through the withdrawal. But it was all over now. Well, except for the fact he was struggling and keeping his hand away from his mouth for him not to make him puke.

"He's got allergies to some meds," Tenny lied. "So we gotta be really careful. He knows he can't take anything, but sometimes, when he's in too much pain, he can't resist. If someone ever gives him something, if you see him taking something, you've gotta let someone know about this, okay? I'll let your nurse know about it too."

She wouldn't tell about the aspirin though. Maxence was her therapist and she had to be loyal to him as well as Tenny. Rose understood that Tenny wanted his brother safe. She would've been the same way if she had a sibling who had suffered addiction. And if Tenny had to tell everyone – tacitly – to protect him then, he would tell everyone.

"You're lying. About his allergies to some meds," Rose said gently to Tenny. "But being really careful about what meds and pills you take is smart. It's really hard for me to resist if I'm in too much pain. So I understand why he can't resist. I'll let you know if someone ever gives him anything."

Tenny raised an eyebrow when she told him that he was lying but didn't say anything. Well, since she was addicted to the meds they had been giving her for years, she obviously could tell when someone was suffering from an addiction to meds too, or someone suffering from withdrawal. But he didn't want to admit his brother's vices in front of his patient. He thanked her for her promise to tell him or anyone if Maxence was given pills or if he was taking any of it on his own. He didn't know why but he believed her. He trusted her with his brother.

Usually, a doctor shouldn't let his patients see his weakness. Of course, Tenny didn't know what had happened yesterday so he just knew about today but that was already too much. Maxence was too nice, people would use his weakness against him.

"We're not doing it again, Spitz!" Tenny said loudly and angrily for Maxence to stop struggling. "Typical. Uncontrollable? Just give him some drugs and he will be all better. Give him pills until he's stuffed and completely out of this world. Sure. Best way to help someone."

"That's what they always say. That's what they said about me. They just stuffed me with pills until I was completely out of this world. It's the worst way to help someone in my opinion."

"And then, I've got lots of patients wondering how they could stop their addiction. Some never totally got out of it."

"Yup, but I will get out of it. And he will too."

Maxence managed to get Tenny's hands out of his mouth – Rose had been tempted to do it herself but it would have been inappropriate – and put his own fingers in. He took the two pills he had stuck under his tongue and put them into his brother's hand. Rose sighed in relief.

Tenny had been about to catch Maxence again and immobilise him with Rose's help if needed – he had seen that she was willing to push him away so he would stop tormenting the poor Maxence – when his brother simply took the pills out of his mouth.

"Childhood's habit," he simply explained as if it was that simple.

"Nicely done, Doctor Spitz."

"Oh, he's clearly out of it now," finally said Tenny to Rose. "I'm proud of him for not swallowing the pills."

He could have, in the vulnerable condition he was in, but he remained strong somehow and didn't swallow the pills. That was a real relief, and Tenny was proud of him for doing so.

"It takes a lot of strength to not do that."

Rose knew that. She had done the same a few times while in there, even when it was hard to resist the temptation. The cleverest way to get away with not taking your pills. One of the cleverest ways. Since they weren't always checking if you really did swallow them, it made it easier to pretend taking them and throw them all in the toilet.

"It's something he can teach you. He's strong enough to. Ask him."

A few years ago, Maxence would have swallowed it with no hesitation, but he didn't, and Tenny was very proud of him and very relieved.

"I'll ask him later."

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to take them?"

"No. But I knew you were suffering from the nightmare and the demons you were speaking of. I get nightmares like that sometimes. I had one this morning."

Stupid, certainly not. Desperate for his demons to go away maybe. But not desperate enough to take some pills given by a woman he didn't trust. He had made her think that he had swallowed the pills. All the rest wasn't acting though and it was disgusting him to remember how he clung to that woman because he needed comfort. His nightmares – strangely he never remembered them he woke up yelling and struggling – always left him vulnerable and clingy, desperate for a human contact and for comfort. Nash had been the first person to come around him when it had happened so… Well, she would think that he was trusting her more and more now. And since he had technically accepted her pills, she might be even more positive that he was on her side. When it was all about acting.

Rose wasn't sure if she should tell Maxence how mad the Wolf got when he 'took' those pills. How mad it got when he was clinging to Nash like a lifeline. The Wolf was still present now, but had calmed down a bit. It really was all about acting in the end.

Maxence's face darkened at the mention of his demons and nightmares. He was still suffering from them now that he was awake and his trembling body was a proof of it, but he kept playing the 'I'm alright' game. Rose had seen him in every possible vulnerable condition and now knew that her therapist was no better than her, that he was suffering as much as her and that he was pretty unstable. Other people would say that it was because he was just out of school and didn't know how to handle the situation well, but they didn't know his past. If they did, they would have another opinion. Maybe they would even say that he needed to be locked down there.

Rose was desperate. She was always desperate whenever it came to her nightmares. She was always desperate to cling on the first person who walked into the room. But no one ever walked into the room whenever she was having one. So, Rose had to face them alone and cling to herself. She had to cry and sob and shake and hope that they would eventually stop torturing her.

Rose was desperate. She was always desperate whenever it came to her nightmares. She was always desperate to cling on the first person who walked into the room. But no one ever walked into the room whenever she was having one. So, rose had to face them alone and cling to herself. She had to cry and sob and shake and hope that they would eventually stop torturing her.

Maxence winked at Rose. He was sorry she had to see him that way though. He remembered her hands being so warm, so soft, so comforting on his back and there were Nash's hands, so cold, so nasty. He suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom to be sick. Same nightmares Rose said. But not desperate enough to cling to a woman like Nash. It was Nash just because she was quicker and closer than Rose. He would really have preferred clinging to Rose, even if it would have been really awkward later. He winced because of his still painful head, as if he could sense the rage of Rose's Wolf. Maybe he could and wasn't aware of it since he didn't remember having a Wolf in his own mind. But it all calmed down before the sickness overwhelmed him.

"That was quite how I wanted to do it, but he was smart enough not to take those."

"He indeed was smart enough not to take those. But I don't think that's the only reason he's vomiting."

Maxence was vomiting more because of Nash's hands on him than because Tenny had put his fingers in his mouth to make him vomit.

"I guess he clung to the first person that has come around him and it wasn't you, right?"

Which made Tegan smile a bit. Maxence wasn't aware of what he was doing after all those nightmares. He just clung to the closest person to him and remained that way until he felt better.

"Yup. You're right. The first person he clung to wasn't me. It was Nash. Nash is very cold. I am not. Neither of us like Nash at all so I'm sure that the thought of him clinging to that bat made him sick. The Wolf wasn't very happy about it."

Rose smiled a bit in return at Tenny. She wasn't always aware of what she was doing after those nightmares either. She too just clung to the closest person and remained that way until she was okay again. But no one ever came into the room whenever she had a nightmare. So she was often alone when it came to dealing with the nightmares.

Tenny looked over at the bathroom. The door was cracked open and they could hear Maxence being sick.

"Well, we avoid a real mess there."

He walked to the bathroom and threw the pills into the toilet before Maxence flushed it. He washed his hands and helped Maxence getting up, washing his hands and rinsing his mouth.

"Good job on that one."

"The easy way was tempting though," Maxence admitted.

"Let's bring you home," Tenny replied to hide his anxiety.

Maxence walked out of the room and Tenny followed him. He could feel his brother's anxiety but he wouldn't dive back. He couldn't. He had to give the aspirin to his brother, but somehow, he kept it hidden. Just in case. Just to test himself. The two brothers picked up their bags and shook Rose's hand.

"Get lots of rest, doctor Spitz. Get well soon."

"I will. I'm very sorry for the mess I am. I'll be better next time. Promise."

"It's okay. I understand why you are the mess you are at the moment. I hope you'll be better next time."

"I won't let him come back if he's not better."

"I'll have to come even if I'm not better. It's not about me."

It was about Rose, and he had to put his feelings and sickness aside to take care of her. She was all that mattered.

"Get fully healed so then you'll work a bit better, Doctor Spitz. Working while being sick isn't always the smartest. But I see what you mean. Take good care of him Mr. Smith."

"A bit better? Meaning I'm not good enough?" he asked, a bit offended.

Maxence still had work to do to get better. He had to get back into his books, to study the record more closely. It really hurt him to know that he wasn't good enough, but he would improve. He could do it. He _had_ to do it. Tenny promised to take care of Maxence. Another promise he could keep.

"Yes. Doctor Spitz, you are good enough. But I'm saying you might work even better with a clear head and with a body in good health. You misunderstood what I said. You're the best therapist I've ever had. I never meant that you weren't good enough. 'Cause you're better than good. You're great," Rose said very honestly to him, sensing that he had gotten offended with her words.

Maxence was good enough. He didn't need to study her record any more closely than he already had. He didn't need to improve. He had nothing to improve on.

Maxence was someone very doubtful about himself. He was looking for a way to get better as a therapist than he already was. He was the best therapist she ever had because he also was the only therapist who had stayed around her and actually tried to help her. He certainly wouldn't have a clear mind after that. Oh, he needed some rest to refocus because he was going nuts lately, and couldn't think straight.

"Oh, right. Maybe."

"You are good enough. I promise you are. You're a very good therapist. You're a natural. You never left when the Wolf made its first appearance. You never sat in that chair in the corner and watched me like some science experiment. You sat on the bed near me, knowing I could've done anything to you, and you talked to me like a human. You treated me like a human. You fed me what food was supposed to be for you and you got me into a better room. It would be incredibly rude of me to say that you weren't a good enough therapist. 'Cause I'd be wrong. Mr. Smith knows I'd be wrong too. 'Cause you're a good therapist and based on what your brother has told me, you always have been a good therapist. A very good one."

A golden spark was in her eyes as she told that to Maxence. Tears were in her eyes as well. Maxence had been through a lot. She didn't think that he wasn't good enough. He had misunderstood her and she would make it clearer than crystal that he had misunderstood her if she needed to. Maybe he hadn't been the best lately.

Maxence looked at Tenny and back at Rose. She was being honest with him and he almost cried too, because of his current vulnerability, because of such a gentleness. So he just hugged her quickly and rubbed her back gently

Maxence winked at her and left the room with Tenny, locking it behind him. They got their stuff back to the desk and Tenny let them know about the new rules for Rose Tyler from now on. He gave them all the official papers and walked to his car with Maxence. Soon as he was out of the parking, he put his hands-free kit on and called Clara Oswald just like he had promised.

Rose got her drawing supplies out of the safety box after the two men left the room and started making those signs for Maxence not to hit his head on the doorways in his flat. Meanwhile, Clara was relaxing in her flat, her girlfriend fast asleep in their room. She raised an eyebrow as she heard her phone and took another sip of her tea before she picked it up. She didn't recognize the number, but she answered anyway.

"Hello? This is Clara Oswald."

Maxence closed his eyes when Tenny started driving and leaned his head against the window. The headache was still there, but he didn't say a thing about it. After all, he still had the aspirin in his pocket.

"Oh, great. You still got the same phone number. I'm the doctor Tegan Smith. Miss Tyler gave me your phone number just a few minutes ago. We were afraid that you might have changed it, but you didn't obviously."

Clara listened to the man as he spoke and grinned at the name. Miss Tyler. It was Rose he was talking about. She was finally having news from her best friend. Of course, there had been the letter, but getting news from a real person was even better and made it more real.

"No. I don't like changing my number unless I really need to. You've seen Rose Tyler then? How is she? Why did she give you my number exactly?" Clara asked him.

She would definitely be saving that number in her phone if that meant she could have news from Rose more often. She abandoned her tea on the table and stood up.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Smith," she added.

"Yeah, I did. Her therapist, doctor Spitz, gave me an authorisation to go and examine her. I can't talk about her case to anyone, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I guess I'll find out myself if she's okay or not."

Maxence was listening to the talk silently. He chose not to intervene and wondered what his brother was doing and why he was calling Clara Oswald – he didn't even know who she was, probably a friend of Rose Tyler.

"Well, long story short. Her therapist and I are allowing the visits, and she asks for you to come over. You'll be able to stay with her until the end of the day. There's no restriction, and there would be no one to supervise the visit. I can stay online until you get there so they won't lie and tell you that she can't have any visit."

Clara sighed. She rubbed between her eyebrows briefly. She listened to him and smiled.

"Really? Oh that's great! I just went there this morning and they said I couldn't see her at all. This is the best news I've gotten all week."

Clara was already writing a little note to her girlfriend and she placed it on the bedside table on her girlfriend's side of the bed before hurrying to the door. She slipped on her sneakers and grabbed her wallet and keys before she left and locked the door behind her.

"Yeah, for real. Her therapist and I don't see why they were refusing the visits so we allowed them again. Miss Tyler was happy to hear about it."

He smiled a bit. He had managed to make Rose Tyler smile with a real smile earlier and he was sure she hadn't smiled that way in a while.

"I don't see why either."

"Well, that's quite a terrible establishment. Let's say they've been ignored by the town for a while and decided to get their revenge on their patients. But we're going to get Miss Tyler out of that place quickly. She's on the good way. But I certainly not know much about Miss Tyler. I've just met her actually."

"I've read up about it. Terrible place. Wondered why it's still opened. I'm glad you've met Rose and made your own opinion on her. She's a good person."

If there were so many bad things said about them, why was that damn hospital still opened to public? It should have been shut down after the first bunch of negative comments. Some people were blind enough to keep that place open. But it wouldn't last. They couldn't keep mistreating their patients anymore. They were humans and they had rights. Rose Tyler was just the first name of a long list. Tenny was sure that there were a lot of other patients waiting for help.

"Good person indeed. Took care of her therapist because he was being sick. Quite unusual to see."

Tenny chuckled a bit even if the situation wasn't funny. It was quite unusual to see a patient taking care of his therapist. But Maxence was never acting like everyone, and after being so vulnerable in front of her, maybe Rose would see that he was probably the best person to help her. She had already seen it according to her words earlier. They both had gotten a bit emotional.

Clara smiled a bit at his chuckle. It was nice to get something positive out of that whole situation. It really was unusual to see a patient taking care of their doctor or therapist. But after Rose seeing Maxence that vulnerable, she knew that he was the absolute best person to be helping her. Because he understood she and he understood what she was going through.

"That indeed is quite unusual to see. But Rose is like that. She'll take care of anyone who needs help or who looks sick. Or anyone who is sick. She would've been a great doctor."

"Yeah, seems like those two were meant to meet at some point. I've never met two people so similar and so different at the same time. It would be pretty interesting to study those two, but I don't think Miss Tyler would like the experience. She already spent way too much time in this terrible hospital."

Tenny was tapping his wheel slightly while talking. Rose Tyler would certainly not like to be treated like a science subject after being locked into a place where they were barely treating her like a human being. Plus, it was highly uncertain that she and Maxence kept seeing each other when she would be fine again. They would both be back to their lives. Sure, neither of them would forget the other one. Rose was Maxence's first patient, and Maxence would be the person helping her getting out of hell. But that would be all. Just memories and names on a record.

Or maybe they would be friends and they would get to hang out or something. Rose would never ever forget Maxence Spitz. She could never forget someone like him. She wouldn't want to lose contact with him. But she didn't want to make Donna mad or anything either by staying in contact with him as friends. Maxence would certainly want to check up on her occasionally and get an update on her.

"She would hate being studied. Rose doesn't like to be treated like some science experiment. She hates that. Hopefully she won't have to spend much more time in that hospital with Mr. Spitz around. He sounds like an amazing therapist for my friend."

"Yeah, Mr Spitz wouldn't like this either. Who would anyway?"

No one ever would like to be a science experience. Even if, in a way, patients in mental institute were, because they were locked in their little rooms without window, or with windows with bars and couldn't see anyone else but a weird guy or woman who was gonna ask about their life, who was trying to find out what was wrong with you. Tenny almost laughed when he thought that Maxence could have been one of those patients. Something was definitely wrong with him. They all knew that. Since he was been back from God knew where, he had never been the same ever again, and what had happened in the room earlier was a real proof of it. They could have locked him down just for acting so desperate and mad. His nightmares were terrible, but they had stopped months ago. Why were they coming back so suddenly? The words, the withdrawal, the headaches, the nightmares. Everything was related. Tenny was sure of it, but he couldn't ask questions. Not now.

Tenny wouldn't like it at all, being a science experiment. He needed to have people around him. He needed to be able to talk to someone, to move around the town and do new things. If he was locked, he would die from boredom or solitude. And the therapist who would have the pleasure to see him wouldn't have the time to ask him any questions. Tenny would chat all over the session. That's just how he was.

"Please stay online with me so they can't lie. Because they lied this morning to me. They told me she was too 'unstable' and 'insane' to be seeing anyone."

Tenny almost laughed. If Rose Tyler was unstable or insane, what would they think about Maxence who really was insane and unstable lately? And half of the hospital had been a witness of it.

"I'm staying online."

"Thank you."

Maxence was still thinking about his doubts on himself while Tenny was driving him back home. His own patient was thinking he wasn't good enough, and to be honest, he hadn't been good lately. He had only showed up to one appointment and when he had rushed there in the second day, he had gotten attacked by a mad nurse and electrocuted until he couldn't remember anything. And when his own patient had come to _his_ rescue, he had been awful to her. And now, half dying in her room and almost giving in to his vice because of Nash. Just the thought of it made his headache worse and made him nauseous again. He slightly opened the window and breathed some fresh air while Tenny was still on the phone. He wanted to be home already.

He kept thinking about Rose's words, trying to convince himself that they were true. He was being gentle and doing the humans things but… That was a normal thing to do, right? Someone who wasn't a therapist would have done the same, right? No one – except the terrible people working into that hospital – could let another human bring live into such conditions. That was unthinkable. She only thought he was great because he acted like a human, that somehow the staff of that hospital was both challenging him and going his way. The question would torment it for a while.

He closed his eyes. He didn't remember allowing the visits but maybe he did. He would ask later, but right now, the car was soothing him. He wouldn't fall asleep though. Something was keeping him awake, but he wouldn't tell it to anyone.


	20. Allergies

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 20/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "They were almost back to his flat. Tenny would force him to get to bed – maybe he wouldn't have to force him – and to get a lot of rest. He would stay around until Donna was back home. He would watch over his brother and make sure he would be okay. Which wasn't the case currently."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

* * *

CHAPTER 20: ALLERGIES

Clara smiled as she hurried out to her car. She was very happy to be allowed to see her friend. Finally. She had been so worried over the years and the letter hadn't helped her feeling less worried because of the horrors Rose was writing. Although Clara thought the blonde had minimised the reality of things. The brunette started driving to the hospital after she got in her car.

"So… How are you? I've heard from Rose's mother that her therapist is a bit sick. Am I allowed to know how he's doing? I hope he gets better soon."

Clara had put her phone on speaker so she could drive and speak at the same time. It wasn't something she should do but she didn't know where her hands-free kit was. The phone was in her lap and she was focused on the road. She didn't like being on her phone while driving. She didn't wanna risk any lives while on the road.

Tenny took a quick look at Maxence. He didn't seem better than earlier. He was still pale and his hands were trembling. His jaw was clenched.

"Me? Fine. Always fine. I'm the master of fine. The therapist…" Another quick look at Maxence. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked his brother.

"Yeah." Muttered Maxence.

Tenny stopped on a small parking and Maxence got out of the car to be sick again.

"The therapist's not so good. Bad allergies. He's gonna be alright soon."

They were almost back to his flat. Tenny would force him to get to bed – maybe he wouldn't have to force him – and to get a lot of rest. He would stay around until Donna was back home. He would watch over his brother and make sure he would be okay. Which wasn't the case currently.

"I'm sorry he's not doing very well. I hope his allergies go away soon and I hope he gets better so he can help Rose again."

Clara took a couple shortcuts to get to the hospital faster so Tenny could take care of Maxence. She couldn't wait to see Rose. She would watch over her and she would take care of her for the time that she was there. She wanted to catch up with her.

"Oh, he doesn't need to be fine to help someone. But right now, he's good for nothing."

"But having a clear mind does make a difference. He sounds pretty bad. Better get him home quick."

Maxence was leaned on the car and was taking a couple of deep breaths, his eyes closed tight. He considered taking some more aspirin but he couldn't since Tenny was too close. He would take the box away before Maxence even pulled it out completely from his pocket. So instead, Maxence sat back in the car.

"Better?"

"A bit."

"Headache?"

"Going better now that I'm out of that place."

"Good."

Tenny started driving again. They weren't far from his flat now. They would be there in just a couple of minutes.

"I'm online with Miss Tyler's friend, Clara Oswald. I allowed the visits and told her to go."

"Good. She needs the company. I usually stay longer than planned every time I go."

"Not today."

"I just want to go home."

"We're almost there."

"Great."

Maxence closed his eyes again and waited for the moment Tenny would pull him out of the car to drag him back home because he didn't have the strengths to walk on his own anymore.

"I'll keep Rose the company you normally give her, sir. Don't worry. She's in good hands. Just get lots of rest."

"Right where I'm taking him, and he's already begging me to tuck him in bed."

"Shut up."

Maxence didn't want anyone to know they were brothers because if someone did a mistake in the hospital, they would be screwed. Well, they couldn't do anything against them as they were officially to Rose Tyler, but they would make their life a real hell.

"You're not tucking me into bed, T. Won't give you the pleasure of it."

"What you two do is between you two," chuckled Clara. "But just help him out. Even if that means you have to help him get into bed."

Tenny just laughed in return. He would for sure. Maxence just didn't want to admit it.

"Miss Oswald says that she's gonna do that for you. Watch over Miss Tyler," Tenny told Maxence.

"Good. Very good. You can't mess with the Tyler. Just give her the visits she needs."

"I'll take good care of my friend, Mr. Spitz. I'll make sure she's good by the time you go see her again."

"You sure will. Miss Tyler wouldn't have asked for you if you were a naughty girl, would she?"

Maxence would have sighed if he had heard that part. His brother could be a real flirt sometimes and it was annoying. But he was never really serious. He was just looking for the right person, and flirting was just a stupid game.

"You're right. She wouldn't have asked for me if I was a naughty girl. Now I can be naughty sometimes. Just depends on the situation."

Clara knew flirting when she heard it. But she didn't mind much. Nina, Clara's girlfriend, was aware that Clara would never cheat on her. And she wouldn't. Flirting indeed was just a stupid game.

"Oh, I'm sure you can't be, but I'm truly not the person you want to be naughty with."

Tenny didn't know Clara Oswald at all, but she sounded gentle and funny and maybe pretty too. But she also sounded pretty young. Maybe too young for him.

"I can be. But I wouldn't be naughty with you. I'm just really defensive and protective kind of naughty."

Clara Oswald didn't know Tegan Smith at all either, but he sounded a little older than her. Clara wasn't sure if he would be too old or not. But he sounded pretty hot and gentle and funny too. She soon pulled into the hospital and got out, walking to the doors.

Tenny just laughed at her definition of being naughty. Clara Oswald was a nice girl. A good girl. She would only get naughty if this someone she loved was being tormented or something. It could be interesting to see how she would react to the place her friend was locked in. It could be interesting to see how naughty she could get to get her out of here. But it was better if she didn't try anything. They didn't know how many persons of the staff were their enemies. It would be really unfortunate if she got locked there too.

"I'm at the hospital. Just stay on for a couple more minutes, Mr. Smith. I can't wait to see their faces when they see me back. They didn't like me here this morning."

"I'm staying online. Go on."

Tenny parked the car down in front Maxence's building but didn't come out. Maxence neither. He remained still. He didn't have the strength to move for now.

"Max?"

"…"

Tenny shook his brother.

"Max!"

"Oi, don't yell, you idiot!"

"You scared me!"

Clara listened to their conversation on how Maxence nearly scared Tenny and bit the inside of her cheek. She walked into the hospital and to the front desk.

"Hello, I'm Clara Oswald. Doctor Smith sent me here to come see Rose Tyler. And I have him on the phone to prove my point."

Clara turned the phone towards the nurse sat at the desk so she could hear Tenny clearly since she still had it on speaker. The nurse looked up from her computer and looked at Clara. She recognised her as the woman who had come in the morning. The nurse looked around. No sign of Nash, and she remembered clearly that both Mr Smith and Mr Spitz had insisted on them allowing the visits for Miss Tyler earlier.

"You're gonna have to give me your personal belongings. Phone, keys, pens… Anything that could be used as a weapon."

The nurse knew as a matter of fact that Rose wasn't dangerous or suicidal, but some of their patients were so she couldn't take any risks. Only the doctors and nurses could have some of those things, and they had to be really careful. Clara chewed the inside of her cheek and gave the nurse her keys and wallet.

Tenny listened to the talk while Maxence was curling up in the seat waiting for his brother to help him out of the car and back into his bed. Maybe he would tuck him in bed in the end.

"Gotta go Mr. Smith. Thanks so much for staying on the line with me. Have a good rest of your day," she said before she hung up and gave the nurse her phone as well. "I have nothing else on me."

"Alright. Have a good night yourself. Enjoy your time with your friend. And be careful." Tenny put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Maxence. "Are you serious? Am I gonna have to carry you back into your flat?"

Maxence didn't reply. He was either ignoring him or really sleeping. Tenny tended to think it was the second option. He sighed.

"What wouldn't I do for you, Max?" he murmured.

He got out of the car and closed the door quietly. He went to Maxence's side and opened his door. He unbuckled the belt and tried to get Maxence out of the car but his brother struggled against him.

"Come on, Max, let me help you."

"No," he groaned. "I can do it myself."

Maxence gave – threw – his bag to Tenny after he took his keys and got out of the car. Without waiting for his brother, he entered the building. He went straight to his flat and then, straight to the bathroom. He pulled out the small box from his pocket and opened it with his trembling hands. Very quickly so Tenny wouldn't know about it, Maxence swallow two other pills and walked to his bedroom. He hid the pills into Donna's bedside table. It would be less suspect. Then, he let himself fall onto his bed and was asleep before Tenny even came into the flat.

In the meanwhile, the nurse took Clara's belongings and put them into a locker before leading her to Rose's room. She didn't knock before opening the door and letting Clara in. No one else but the doctor Spitz and Liv were knocking into the room. Clara looked around while she was following the nurse to Rose's room, making sure she didn't make much noise.

Rose heard the door being unlocked and hid what few drawing supplies she had out quickly, not knowing who was coming in. Clara softly thanked the nurse for letting her come back and for letting her in before she stepped inside Rose's room slowly. She looked around. Very plain. Very white. Rose's face lit up at the sight of Clara. She put her drawing supplies back on the desk again. She was almost done with making Maxence those signs so he wouldn't hit his head. She hurried over to Clara and hugged her tight. Clara hugged her back just as tightly.

"I've missed you, Rose Tyler."

Rose kissed her cheek briefly, "I've missed you too Clara Oswald."

Clara pulled away from the hug a little and studied Rose. She frowned. She could barely recognise her friend. She had changed so much. She had lost a lot of weight and her face had grown hollow. But it was her look that was the worst. Rose had once been full of life, and now her look was empty, off. She had lost herself in that place, and it was to doubt that she would ever be back to her old self.

"You've changed so much. You're so thin and malnourished. They're hurting you in here," Clara murmured sadly.

She reached and cupped her friend's cheek carefully. Rose leaned into her warm touch. A touch she had desperately missed and needed. The golden spark was shining in her eyes. It wasn't too bright though. The Wolf was just taking a quick look but it knew that Rose was safe with Clara. Rose put her hand over Clara's and softly stroked it.

"You're right. But I've got help. My own little team. They're helping me out and making sure I get healthy again. I'm in good hands now."

"They better take care of you. You've lost a part of yourself while being in here. I see it. That spark of happiness isn't in your eyes anymore. You're not the same person. And that hurts to know."

"Being in here changes you, Clara. But I'll be out of here soon enough. After the New Year. And then, you can help me be the person I used to be."

Rose smiled briefly and kissed her forehead. Clara closed her eyes and smiled a bit. Rose held her close to her, before she pulled away to look more at the brunette. It felt good to see her. She looked good. She looked happy. Rose couldn't help her heart to be broken. Her best friend was happy. She should be happy about it too, but she wasn't. Because she was stuck there and had no chance to be happy.

"Let's sit."

Rose took her hand and led her over to the bed. They sat close beside each other, but Rose pulled Clara into her lap and hugged her close.

"So, how's life for you?" Rose asked.

"It's good. I love my job as a teacher. And I've got a girlfriend too. She treats me well and we love each other a lot. She knows about you. And she wants to meet you one day. When you get out of here. She's been supporting me through these tough times. I've really missed you, Rose. I wake up some days and wonder how in the world I get out of bed to go to work. But she's been there every step of the way. She comforts me when I need it and she's always there to help me. We're taking things slow. We've been dating for a couple years now and we recently moved in together. I told her that if we ever do get married, I'd like to wait and have the wedding for when you can attend. Because I want you to be my maid of honour."

Rose smiled, "I'd love to be your maid of honour, Clara. Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for never leaving. I feel special that you'd wait to have your wedding because of me. And congratulations on a girlfriend. I'm really happy that life is going so well for you." They hugged each other tight. "How's Mickey?"

"He's good. He's got a wife. Her name's Martha. I try and see him when I can. He hasn't been around too much though. I don't know why. Probably busy with personal life. Like I've been. My girlfriend's been sick so I've been taking care of her. She was asleep before I came here."

"Mm. I see. Just as long as he's happy and living a good life. That's all I want for him. And I hope your girlfriend gets well soon."

"Thanks. She's doing a lot better. She's resting and letting me take care of her. She's cuddling a lot and asking for help. So she really wants to get better. Which I'm happy about."

"That's good. What's her name?"

"Nina."

"Beautiful name."

"So, this therapist of yours. What's he like? What's his name?"

Rose blushed briefly, "His name is Maxence Spitz. He just got out of college. He hasn't been out of college for too long before he was given my record. He read it for a week I heard. He's memorized my whole record I'm sure. He's a wonderful man and an awesome therapist. He really understands me. He doesn't push me. He doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. Mr. Spitz is a natural when it comes to helping people. He's really nice and he treats me like a human for once. He's the best therapist I could ask for. Good friend too."

Clara listened to Rose talk about Maxence Spitz. He sounded like a wonderful man. Someone Clara wanted to meet one day. Someone she wanted to thank.

"He sounds like an amazing man. I talked to his friend Mr. Smith on the phone earlier. He didn't sound like he was doing too well earlier. But I'm sure he'll get better soon."

"Yup. He'll be resting a lot. He's had a rough past four days. But I've helped him out a bit."

"Sounds like something you'd do. Always finding a way to help people. Even if you are stuck in some horrible hospital," Clara replied. "What's the Wolf like?" she added quietly.

"It's interesting. Unpredictable and really protective. It can be mean. But it can be friendly too. It causes me migraines a lot. But they're a bit more bearable now. It sometimes helps me with my nightmares and other things. Sometimes it accidentally enhances my dreams and nightmares. Sometimes it makes me hallucinate. But I know that it doesn't exactly mean to harm me. Even if it's what caused me to be here in the first place. The Wolf was the only thing I had to talk to for five years. So I see it as a friend now. Not really an issue or a problem," Rose explained to Clara.

"I see. I'm just relieved to know it hasn't killed you. I'm just relieved that you're still here. I assume it can heal you too since you have not much of any marks on your body."

Clara knew Rose had been brutalised by the staff of that hospital. She had written it in her letter and it as obvious when you looked at her. Someone usually so full of life who turned into someone so thin and so dull, that couldn't be just the fact of life being hard. There was more.

"Mmhm. My mum doesn't really trust it fully yet. But the Wolf will prove to her soon that it doesn't mean to cause any harm. I know she doesn't forgive herself for putting me in here. Promise me you'll help her with that. I'll make sure I help her with it too when I get out of here permanently."

"I will. I promise. I try and see your mum as much as I can. We're really close now since she's come to me a lot for support. I'm happy to help her."

"Thank you," Rose said, relieved to have someone watching over her mother. She kissed her friend's cheek. "It means a lot to me to know that my mum has people there to help her who are just a phone call away. Keep watching over her. Help her as often as she needs it."

"What else can this Wolf do?"

Rose shrugged, "It can give people certain memories back. It can take memories away. It can wipe someone's memory, making them forget who they are entirely. It can also completely erase someone from time. The Wolf can sense emotions a lot easier and can notice when someone's lying. It makes me stronger. And it can talk too. Sometimes it talks through me. I don't really know what else it can do."

"It sounds like a cool thing."

"It is. But it can be dangerous. But it isn't here to cause danger. My therapist, Mr Spitz was saying that maybe there was a way to get it out of me. But there isn't. If you try and take it out of me, I'll die. That's even what the Wolf told him. It has its claws too deep in me and it won't be letting go. Not until I die. So it's here, forever."

"I see. But I don't mind too much that it's with you. As long as it isn't causing you too much pain and as long as you're happy and healthy and can still do what you love. I just can't wait until you're out of here. Until you can be a normal woman again. You've lost five years of your life in here. Hopefully we can make up that time a little after you get out."

"I hope so too. But we'll see."

Rose laid her head on Clara's shoulder and held her tight against her. She was scared to let her go, afraid that she was just a dream and that she would fade away or something. Clara seemed to understand what Rose was saying about the Wolf. She seemed to understand in general and that was really good. It made Rose happy that Clara understood.

Clara was actually trying to understand it all. She understood the concept to an extent, but she was working hard on getting all of it. It was just something so inhuman and something that no one had ever heard of. That it was hard to wrap your head around the fact that something like that was inside your best friend's head.

"If you ever need anything, Rose. Anyone to talk to. Let me know. I'll always be here. I'm never gonna leave you, Rose Tyler. Especially when you're outta here. I'll always be a phone call away. Whatever you need. Whatever you want."

"Thanks, Clara. And same to you."

They both closed their eyes. There was still hope for Rose. No one had given up on her. No one had left her. And that gave Rose a lot of hope. It made her wanna fight harder to get out of there, because she had people waiting for her outside of this hell.

Tenny sighed when Maxence disappeared into the building and picked their two bags. He climbed the stairs pretty quickly. He put the bags down on the couch and walked to the bedroom. He smiled when he saw his brother so deeply asleep already. He lay him down in a better position and tucked him in bed after he took off his shoes. He checked his temperature. He still had a bit of fever. Nothing to worry about though.

Tenny walked to the bathroom and filled a bowl with water. He took a rag and took everything back to the bedroom. He put the rag into the water, wringed it and ran into on his brother's face. Nothing better than the old school cures. Then, Tenny sat down on the bed and turned on the TV. He would keep a close look on him until Donna came back. Which was just a matter of minutes now.

Maxence barely slept half an hour, and that sleep was restless. His nightmares were still tormenting him. He woke up with a start, but it wasn't as bad as earlier. He just needed a few minutes to realise where he was and who he was with. He took some more minutes to catch his breath.

"Your nightmares are back?" asked Tenny when Maxence had finally calmed down.

Maxence just nodded and tucked the covers more around him. He was cold and his hair and face were damp because of the sweat. The cause wasn't the fever, but it was the fear. The fear of the monsters in his dreams. He wasn't sure if he would sleep again today, tonight or in the nights to come. But at least, his headache seemed to be better.

"Maybe you should talk to someone about it."

Maxence didn't reply. Who would believe him? Except for Rose, everyone would consider him a crazy guy. It was surprising that Nash hadn't decided to lock him down into a room – or worse, a cell – after he woke up yelling that his shadow was talking to him. He better not try to talk about it to anyone. He had written it over and over again, every time he had done the freaking nightmare but he had hidden all of that so no one would find them. He had even burned some of the sheets of paper in a fit of rage. He closed his eyes as he heard the door opening and closing. Donna was home. A few minutes later, she was in the doorframe and was looking at the two men in her bed. She looked worried about her Maxence. She walked to the bed and sat down close to him. She kissed his forehead and stroked his face lovingly.

"I don't like seeing my Maxence so sick," she murmured thinking he was sleeping.

Maxence didn't move much. He just leaned into her soft touch. Tenny stretched and got up slowly.

"He's better than earlier. The fever's not so high."

Donna took the rag and put it into water. She wringed it and ran it on Maxence's face and neck just like Tenny had done a few times before she came back home.

"Thank you for coming over. I hate it when he's home alone and sick."

"I wasn't working. I planned on coming over anyway. I wanted to see how he was doing since the last time."

"He's gotten his memories back."

"How?"

"We've got some unexpected visitors yesterday."

"You've got me curious."

"I really don't know how. I just know that that nurse, Liv, and his patient, Rose Tyler, came here. She gave him his memories back. Somehow."

Tenny raised an eyebrow. He couldn't say anything about Rose since he wasn't supposed to have met her today. He was supposed to have stayed home with Maxence instead of going there. But he was glad he did though. He was glad he could have helped Rose Tyler. Even if it was years too late. At least, he could do a little something for her before it was too late. And he really hoped that Clara's visit would help her a bit too. She wasn't alone at least.

"His nightmares are back," Tenny suddenly declared.

Maxence's body tensed. He wished Tenny wouldn't have said that. He didn't want anyone to know. They would ask him questions, questions he couldn't answer to.

"A lot of strange things are happening to him lately."

"Talking about the words?"

"Yeah."

"I had to clean the one on his chest. It's getting a little infected. Better keep an eye on that. When did he…"

"That's one of the strange things. He didn't. It just appeared. And I'm starting to think that that Rose Tyler might have some answers about the mysteries surrounding my Maxence."

"How did she come here anyway? If Max couldn't remember…"

"Miss Liv is really persuasive. She forced him to sign an authorisation."

Tenny smiled a bit. That Liv seemed to be a pretty interesting person. Someone he would like to meet. Maybe one day. But for now, the only person he had to take care of was his brother. Meeting people and flirting would wait.

Donna put the rag back on the edge of the bowl and followed Tenny into the living room. They both thought that Maxence had fallen asleep again when he was perfectly awake. He just didn't feel like being a part of the conversation, and he was almost relieved when they both left the room. He didn't hear the door being closed so that meant that Donna had left it cracked open. She wanted to hear it if he ever had any problem. Even if she couldn't solve any of his current problems.

"I think you should make him take a bath. That would relax him a bit."

"Could be a good idea. Just before sleeping."

"When is he supposed to go back to work?"

"In two days."

"Better use those days to try and make him feel better. But I trust you on that point."

Tenny smiled and gathered his stuff. He had to go now. To go back into his lonely flat again. Just the idea of it made him sad and Donna was certainly not blind enough to not notice it.

"You know, Tenny, if you want to stay, you can. It won't bother any of us."

"No, it's alright. I'll be just fine."

They both knew he was lying though. Donna gave him a quick hug to comfort him some. She knew how lonely he could feel sometimes, and Tenny was no man to handle it well. He hugged her back.

"Go and take some of your stuff from your flat. You can stay tonight."

"No…"

"You said Maxence's wound was infected. I need a doctor home. You're staying tonight."

Tenny wouldn't say that he was relieved but he really was. And Donna was right. With Maxence in such a condition, it was better to have a doctor at home.

"Alright. I'll go and get my stuff."

"You're the one charge of the dinner too."

"It's the least I can do."

"Be careful on the road and come back quickly, okay?"

Tenny nodded and Donna kissed his cheek, watching him leave the flat. She walked back into the bedroom and lay down close to Maxence. She wrapped him in her arms and nuzzled his neck. She so wished he could be fine again, but he seemed to be stuck into a vicious circle right now. Maxence slightly moved to cuddle up to Donna. She was warm and he was cold. She smiled a bit and pressed her lips against his warm forehead.

"I thought you were sleeping," she murmured.

"No. Just pretending to," he murmured back.

"Why would you?"

"To avoid questions. I'm tired of questions."

Donna stroked his face gently and pulled him a bit closer to her.

"Meaning you don't want to talk about what's going on with you."

"There's nothing going on with me."

"There's a lot of things going on with you."

"And there's nothing new to say about it."

Maxence turned his back on her to show that the talk was over. Final point. He wouldn't say anything about it again, and didn't want anyone to talk about it anymore. He kept his eyes shut and hid under the covers. Only his head was out of the blankets. Donna kept her arms around him, kept him close to her and kissed his neck.

"What about a bath?"

"Are you saying I'm stinking?"

"A bit. And you're prickly too."

He had a small silent laugh. Better than nothing.

"I don't have the strengths to take care of that."

"I can do it. Wouldn't be the first time."

Maxence turned to face her and finally opened his icy blue eyes. She put her hand on his hairy face.

"You're not forced to talk, but if you want to, I'm here, okay?"

He nodded. Of course. His Donna would always be there. But just like everyone else, she wouldn't understand.


	21. Prisoner

**Title : _How would you feel_.**

 **Number of parts : 21/?.**

 **Pairings : Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.**

 **Synopsis : "Maxence wondered if Tenny's instructions had been followed. For the visits, it seemed to be good. Clara Oswald had been allowed to see Rose and to stay with her for a while. And Maxence really hoped that they had given her the rest of the good food. At least, she had biscuits if they didn't. Well, Maxence hadn't been awake all that time but Tenny had told him everything. Maxence had wanted to call but he was too tired to do so."**

 **A/N : The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.**

 **A/N2 : Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for _My Time Of Dying_.  
**

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CHAPTER 21: PRISONER

Donna remained silent for a long moment, which was pretty unusual of her, but she understood that Maxence wasn't feeling good enough to hear her insisting on him talking to someone or to hear her telling him how her day went. Even if he usually liked her telling him how the day went at school. Maybe he should go with her one day and spend some hours with those little kids. Maybe it would help him get better. But not now. He didn't feel like this. Being there, in Donna's arms, was enough for now. He was even a bit better now. After a long moment, he finally talked again. Tenny wasn't back yet.

"The bath might be a good idea."

Donna jumped a bit. She had thought that he was asleep once again, but he wasn't obviously.

"Yeah?"

"And you could shave me."

"I'd love that."

She smiled softly and got up slowly. She walked to the bathroom and started filling the tub with water – their flat had the advantage of having both a shower and a tub. She got clean pyjamas and socks ready. Tenny came back in the meanwhile. Maxence had sat up on the edge of the bed. He walked to the bathroom and locked himself in it with Donna. He undressed himself and slipped into the warm water. Donna came in the water with him. They washed each other's body slowly, enjoying that moment. And since Maxence seemed to really relax in the bath and feel much better, they decided to have a quickie while Tenny was taking care of the dinner according to the noises they could hear and the good scents they could smell.

Rose and Clara remained silent for a few minutes, simply cuddling with one another. Rose studied her best friend with soft eyes and lovingly stroked her face. She wanted to carve every detail of her best friend's face in her memory. Just in case they wouldn't allow her to come back, just in case Rose had to stay longer than expected in that hell.

"I love you, Clara. Like a sister. And I never wanna lose you," she murmured, nuzzling her gently.

"I love you the same way, Rose. And I'm very blessed to have you in my life. I hope to never lose you ever again like this."

Rose's hand moved up and down her back, trying to help Clara relax in the tense environment. The brunette relaxed at her friend's touch and smiled softly. She cuddled into the blonde, not realizing how much she had missed her touch during those five years.

"Do you think your therapist will be okay? He didn't seem very well when I've heard him through the phone."

"Of course. He's got a great family to support him. He's got great friends to help him get better. He's in good hands. He'll be well taken care of and he will be back here in a few days to continue his work with me. He promised me a lot of things. And he's gonna keep those promises."

Rose knew that Maxence would be okay. It would just take some time. Rose felt relaxed. She felt content. She missed feeling like this. She hadn't felt like that since her mother had visited her a few days ago.

"I'm glad to see you're relaxed, Rose."

"You are very relaxed too. But you can't be falling asleep here, Clare bear."

 _Clare bear_ was an old nickname Rose had found for Clara when they were in elementary school. She hadn't used it in a long time, and it made Clara smile to hear it again. Rose had changed, but there were things that still remained the same. Thankfully.

The two women remained cuddled on the bed, occasionally talking in soft voices. Rose had moved up against the wall so she wasn't hunching over so much, but Clara was helping her relax and she was glad to have her there. She was very thankful for her. Clara never seemed to ever leave her side whatever happened in their lives. She seemed to never want to do so.

Clara loved Rose like the sister she never had. She could never leave her. She had always been there for her. They had made promises to each other throughout the years of their friendship and none of them intended on breaking them.

"What are you thinking about, Rose?" Clara asked quietly.

She was the first to break the quietness of the room they were both enjoying. Usually, Rose hated the silence. Especially now that she had been stuck in that place for so long for no one to talk to. But being there with her best friend was making everything different. The silence felt good for once. So when Clara talked, Rose flinched because she hadn't expected it.

"Nothing in particular. I'm just thinking about how much I'm enjoying this time with you and how much I've missed holding my best friend. And about how much I miss being outside of this place. And how much I miss the outdoors. But those are just little side thoughts. I'm mostly thinking about you and my mum and Mr. Spitz."

Rose and Clara talked a little more before the blonde took a quick shower and ate a biscuit. Then, she cuddled with Clara again on the bed. She was happy to have some company there with her to take away her loneliness for the evening. She hated being alone. She hated feeling lonely.

"Thank you. For coming to see me."

"No need to thank me. I've wanted to see you for years."

Rose pulled the blanket around them as they were back in their original cuddling position; Rose holding Clara in her lap and Clara with her arms tightly around Rose's thin body. They didn't feel like moving or talking more. Just being together was enough for the both of them. Sometimes, they would talk about an old memory and occasionally laugh. Sometimes, they would just sit there and admire each other's beauty, though Rose didn't think she was beautiful at all anymore. She was thin and malnourished. She was sick, in a way.

The idea of Clara having to leave soon enough was keeping a hint of sadness into her heart, but she didn't say a thing about it so she wouldn't spoil their moment. She just wanted to have someone there and she just wanted to have someone to talk to and keep her company. Someone to help take her mind off of things.

Rose wished that Clara could stay the night with her, but that couldn't happen unfortunately. That was forbidden by the rules. It was the same in every psychiatric hospital most likely. Thankfully, she would have Liv to keep an eye on her on the next day so it wouldn't be so bad. She would get to be with her new friend for a bit. She would have to warn her about Nash being on her tail. She would try and keep her safe the best she could. Despite the situation she was in. Rose smiled at an image that suddenly appeared in her mind during another round of silence between herself and the brunette in her lap. Clara raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because of something that just came in my mind," explained Rose. "An image. Doctor Spitz seems to be doing much better now. He's with his girlfriend and he's getting ready for bed. The Wolf can check in on people I like. I never knew this until now. The Wolf never showed me that it could do that. It sensed our worry for him, the Wolf did."

"That's super cool," exclaimed Clara, grinning. "I'm glad to hear that he's okay. That is a cool superpower!"

Maxence and Donna remained in the bath for a long moment, occasionally adding hot water so they wouldn't get cold. Donna was so glad to feel her Maxence finally fully relaxed and feeling much better. He wasn't even trembling anymore. His fever was down, and he had told her that his headache and nausea were gone. She was suspecting a lie for the headache, but she didn't say a thing and just watched him. He was so handsome, laying there, in the tub, his eyes slightly shut and his arms around her as she was pressed against his chest. She was tracing the word on his bicep, wondering what a Dalek could possibly be, and when he shivered, she decided that it was time for them to get out of the bath before he got another cold.

They both dried themselves off and pulled on their pyjamas and socks. She cleaned his glasses and put them back on his nose. He smiled softly at her and sat down on the toilet. A few minutes later, she was slowly and methodically shaving his almost full beard, making her best not to cut him. And when she was done, when he was perfectly shaved, she put some after shave on him and they both walked out of the bathroom. They went to the kitchen. Tenny smiled at them.

"Looks like my brother is feeling much better!"

"Indeed. I should never underestimate the power of a good hot bath."

And of the wonderful hands of his lovely girlfriend. But that wasn't something he was gonna say out loud or Donna would always boast around about it and remind him of it whenever she would get something from him.

"The dinner's ready. If you're hungry, you just have to sit down."

The table was already laid and the perfumed steam escaping from the platters made Maxence's stomach growled. Of course, he was hungry. He always was. He sat down at the table with his girlfriend and his brother and the three of them shared the meal before they all cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie.

Tenny was the first to go to sleep before the movie was even done. He was tired and had to get up early the next morning since he was working. He kissed them both goodnight before going into the guest bedroom. He was thankful of Donna for insisting for him to stay. He didn't know if he would have handled the solitude of his flat after he had seen the mental hospital, after he had met and talked to Rose Tyler. The girl – well, her condition in that place – had shaken him to say the least and he was glad that he could have stayed around his family to spend the night. It was reassuring him. And on the next morning, he would leave a note for Maxence to keep an eye on his wound and to call him if anything.

Maxence started dozing off before the end of the movie. He was totally relaxed and Donna stroking his back was soothing him. Plus, and he was too tired to realise how weird it was, his mind was filled with images of Rose Tyler in her room with a brunette. A Rose Tyler who seemed happy and relaxed with a friend of hers breaking her silence and solitude. He smiled to himself at the scene. It was comforting to know that his patient was doing better thanks to his promises and acts. Well, the brunette's visit was Tenny's doing and promise but still. It was good to see her so fine after what she had been through. Donna forced him to go to bed and followed him a few minutes later. They watched the end of the movie together and she turned everything off for them to sleep. But there was one more question she wanted to ask.

"What are you gonna do tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet," he replied sleepily. "Haven't thought about."

"I might have an idea for you."

She murmured something into his ear. Something that made him smile. Of course it was a great idea. So great that it kept his mind busy, and kept his monsters away when he finally gave in to the sleep.

Maxence wondered if Tenny's instructions had been followed. For the visits, it seemed to be good. Clara Oswald had been allowed to see Rose and to stay with her for a while. And Maxence really hoped that they had given her the rest of the good food. At least, she had biscuits if they didn't. Well, Maxence hadn't been awake all that time but Tenny had told him everything. Maxence had wanted to call but he was too tired to do so. He didn't know that Tenny had called before he went to bed to make sure they would remember the instructions he had given. They had listened to him obviously, but he had noticed that the nurse on the desk seemed preoccupied. And Tenny surely didn't know that their boss, Nash, was missing. They hadn't seen her for hours.

Maxence didn't know it either and his mind was so peaceful it was feeling strange but at least, he could sleep and his nightmares weren't disturbing him at the moment. Good. He didn't feel like waking up yelling in the middle of the night, nor have to explain Donna that his shadow was talking to him and telling him such terrible things. She wouldn't believe it and worse, she might send it to another therapist to talk about it. But no one could understand it. No one but Rose. So he slept deeply, peacefully, and dreamed about how the next day would be. A good one. He would have a lot of things to do but that didn't bother him. As long as it kept his mind busy, it didn't matter. And it would make some people happy so he couldn't refuse the mission he was given. He would fulfil it, and he would do it very well.

Alex knew exactly why Nash was missing. She and Nash had had a little talk after Maxence spread a rumour about her and Nash was currently locked away in the yellow room, tied up tight to the table. She wouldn't go anywhere for a while to say the least. Alex had even electrocuted her a few times just for the hell of it. She had ruined Nash's office and even found something really interesting. Files about Maxence Spitz. He had been there before. He had stayed there as a patient, and he was linked to Rose Tyler in a very big way. Alex had hidden the files though. She would keep the secret for herself for now. She had hidden them in her car, and no one would be finding them unless she decided to let them know about it.

Maybe she would let Liv see them since she was so close to Maxence and Rose. She would have a better understanding of the situation if she knew about it all. She had to let her see them before she was fired. Alex knew she would be sacked for sure after the argument she had with Nash and the attack on her. But she didn't care. She would enjoy messing with Nash while she could because she was locked in the yellow room. And Alex had the key. The only key to that room. Plus, Nash was gagged. No one would be hearing a peep out of her for a while.

Nash hadn't seen it coming. Not at all. She had gone straight to Alex after Maxence Spitz had told her that she was saying things about her. They had argued and Alex had finally punched her in the face. She hadn't said anything and was tired of those accusations. But Nash hadn't seen it coming and when she had woken up, she was feeling too much in a haze and assumed that she had been drugged. But that was not the worst. When she had been able to focus again, she had realised that she was in the yellow room. The same yellow room she had locked Maxence in a few days earlier. She was firmly tied and gagged, meaning she couldn't run away and she couldn't scream. Meaning she was stuck there for as long as Alex would want to keep her here.

Oh, she had tried to run away and to escape and to scream when Alex had started electrocuting her. It freaking hurt! She had glared and threatened her and struggled against the restraints but there was nothing to do and when Alex had told her that she had ruined her and found some interesting things, Nash had frozen. Her biggest secrets were hidden there. The biggest of the biggest was Maxence's records and what had been done to him all along his stay into that mental hospital. But no one knew except her and one or two nurses that were there when he had been locked in his cell. She had told no one and didn't want anyone to know anyway but if Alex knew… That secret must not be repeated, and certainly not to Maxence Spitz. If he knew about what had happened to him, they were all screwed up. And that mustn't happen. So Nash had to find a way out of there. She had to reduce Alex to silence.

Nash had taken advantage of the few moments Alex was gone to keep struggling against her restraints and trying to get away from her before she started electrocuting her again. The woman had gone mad in a minute, and she couldn't understand how that could have happened. Alex should be the one tied down there, not Nash. She was everyone's superior there and everyone feared and obeyed her. That's how it had been for years, and suddenly, Alex had gone bonkers and was locking her in her own hospital, in her own room of torture. That was definitely not how it was supposed to work.

The restraints created cuts in her skin, making her bleed while she was struggling and the gag was half suffocating her. She now understood what her patients had felt every time she had locked them down here, why they looked so terrified whenever the yellow room was evoked. It was because how tiny and powerless they were when they were tied down to that cold and uncomfortable table, because of the unbearable pain they were feeling when she switched the electricity on, when the electrical shocks ran through their body shaking them with uncontrollable spams and creating bad damages in their brain. And the pain and trembling never really stopped even hours after it was done, as if the body was full of static electricity that was repeating the process of the electrocution. Terrifying and terribly efficient to erase someone's memory too. It didn't work on Rose Tyler, but it worked pretty well on Maxence Spitz, and Nash was well placed to know it since she had given him that treatment just a few days ago. And now there she was. She first froze when she heard the door being unlocked and struggled harder when she saw Alex locking it behind her, when she saw the smirk. That bitch was gonna pay for it the hard way.

Alex was tired of the accusations said against her. She might be mean to Rose, but she didn't spread rumours. She wasn't like that. Not at all. She didn't think it was cool. To get rid of Nash, Alex had taken her to the only room she thought of. The yellow room. She had watched Nash wake up. She had watched as she realized she was in the yellow room. The look on her face was something Alex would never forget. It made her laugh actually. She now was in control and she wouldn't let it go so easily.

She made sure Nash was tied down real tight. She wouldn't be moving at all for a long moment. She couldn't run and couldn't scream. Meaning Alex could do whatever she wanted to do to her, and she had already started her fun. She was gonna keep Nash there for a bit. She made it did hurt for Nash to understand what her patients were going through, but that wouldn't be the last time Nash would be electrocuted. Not in Alex's agenda. She wasn't afraid of Nash's threats. She couldn't do anything while she was tied down and more vulnerable than ever. Alex could kill her if she wanted.

She remembered the look on her face when she said she had gone in her office and destroyed it, when she admitted that she had found her biggest secret. She hadn't told her what she had found of course. That would have been stupid of her. It wouldn't be easy for Nash to find her way out of there. Alex was gonna repeat her little secret before she could get out of here. They would be screwed in no time. Alex decided to go check in on Nash. So, she unlocked the door to the yellow room, making sure no one was around. She locked the door behind her after she got in and smirked at Nash.

Alex knew how electrocuting someone like that could make them go mad. But hey, Nash deserved it. She had electrocuted a lot of patients down there and Alex was gonna make sure that Nash got to experience that real good. She would make sure that Nash knew what it felt like. Alex smirked more as she saw Nash froze and put the key in her pocket once she was sure that the door was locked. She checked her restraints briefly, pressing down roughly on what cuts she could see.

"Enjoying your stay down here? Now you know what your patients feel like when you would tie them down, how powerless they feel. The pain they go through. Or maybe you don't know. Maybe you need another round. Maybe more intense than the first?"

The first round had been pretty intense enough. Alex made sure the gag was still secure in Nash's mouth and tightened the restraints just a little more. Not enough to cut off circulation, of course. She was just having too much fun right now, torturing that bitch of a boss.

No, Nash didn't enjoy her stay there. She didn't enjoy it at all and that was why she was fighting so hard to get out of the restraints. She indeed knew what her patients felt like now and she didn't understand why it bothered Alex so much. Sure, she hadn't done that to anyone before. Nash was her first try and it was surprising to see how well she was doing with the stuff. Usually, only the three or four people who were working there for over ten years knew how to work in that room. And only they knew that the room needed to be cleaned after every use because the patients always ended up doing their business on themselves when the muscles relaxed. Oh, how many times they had had to clean it after Maxence Spitz's therapy. He was probably the person who had spent the most time here. More time there than in his actual cell.

However, no one knew, and she hoped that no one would ever know. If Alex had found about that secret, it was better if she didn't tell anyone. She didn't know what Maxence Spitz was capable of. She had absolutely no idea of how much powerful he was. It wasn't even mentioned into the record because no one could tell what that power was, nor measure it. He ignored it himself, but Nash had – voluntarily – woken up the Wolf when she had last taken him down there. She had done it on purpose though, and he would definitely need her help to turn it off again if it became uncontrollable. And she would not be able to help him if she was stuck there and turned into a vegetable. That would be real disaster to leave him without the control she could have on him. Nash's eyes grew big when she realised what she was about to suffer from, causing the other women to chuckle. Alex didn't seem like she was gonna stop in any way. When had she become so frightening and evil?

Alex was half and half on violence. There were times when she totally thought violence was the only answer. There were other times where she thought violence wasn't the answer at all. With these patients, violence wasn't the answer. But Nash used that as an answer anyway. So Alex thought it was totally reasonable to use violence as a payback to Nash to make her experience what hell those people went through. She would clean the room when she was done. She would have to clean up the blood and stuff anyway. She was still deciding whether or not to turn Nash into a vegetable. She turned on the machine.

"I bet you'll never use that room again. Will you, Nash?"

Alex smirked and turned it up a couple notches. Nash would indeed never see the room with the same eyes anymore, but she didn't know if she wouldn't use it anymore. Not for a while though. She would wait a long moment before using it again. Well, if she managed to get out of there alive and almost unharmed. There was no way she could get out of there unharmed. She was aware of it. Just by looking into Alex's mad eyes, she knew she wasn't gonna get out of there alive. If she did manage to get out of there at all. Which seemed highly compromised for now. She might have had a chance when the restraints weren't so tight. But now she had no chance to if no one helped her out.

The restraints were so tight now she could barely breathe. But Alex didn't care at all. She was too busy enjoying her revenge. A revenge Nash didn't understand since she had almost always been good to Alex. She had trained her to the job and showed her how to be firm with the patients. She had taught her almost everything and now she was getting all that knowledge against her? Unbelievable. And for what? Because they had argued about what Maxence Spitz had said?

Oh, Nash hated Maxence Spitz. She always had, but she loved the power sleeping in his head. The same power was sleeping in Rose's head but she was tougher and unable to manipulate as easily so Nash couldn't lay any hand on the power she had. It was easier to work on Maxence, and when he had run away from there with no memories at all from ever being in that hospital she had thought that she had lost him forever. But he had come back, as if something was attracting him there like a magnet. Maybe his Wolf, looking for its other half that was in Rose's mind. He had never told her even when she had taken him down in that yellow room she was currently in. Nash swallowed as she heard the notches being turned. Soon enough the electricity would run through her body again and she would be left unable to think and unable to move. She hated that, but there was nothing she could do right now against it.

Maybe Alex would make a deal with Nash because of how good she had been to her in the past. There maybe was a deal she would accept. If Nash didn't say anything about that. Alex could choose not say anything about the secrets she had found in Nash's office, but she wasn't sure yet if she wanted to do that. Alex turned the final notch for the electricity to run through Nash. Nash couldn't do anything about what was about to happen. She had to take it and deal with it.

Nash froze when she heard the last notch being turned and the electricity ran through her head before it continued its trail to the rest of her body. While facing such a pain, her body had the reaction to arch and struggle. The sudden shock caused her to try and yell but the gag was still tight in her mouth. It was even getting suffocating. She didn't feel the restraints cutting her skin deeper while her body was convulsing. She never had tied a patient so hard on a table, never gagged them either. She loved watching their bodies struggling and convulsing like insects, and she loved their screams. Oh, Maxence had been a real screamer when he was there. She could still hear his screams, his cries, his supplications for her to stop. There also was that annoying arrogance he had had for months before she finally broke him down. And now she understood what he had felt.

She couldn't let Alex do that to her. Nash wasn't as tough nor as young as Maxence so her heart might be the first one to give in if too much electricity was sent through her body. It would be a good way to go. Dying from a heart attack instead of suffering in the hands of someone she had once considered as a friend. But she couldn't do that. Not with Maxence's Wolf being awake. He _needed_ her even if he didn't know it yet. So she had to stay strong and pretend that she didn't care about what was happening. She glared at Alex when she was able to do so though. Her body was still agitated with little spams and she knew it wouldn't get any better in the next hours but she knew that Alex was reasonable enough not to torture her for hours. She would maybe like to play with her, and she knew that if she disappeared for too long, questions would be asked.

So, to keep on with her evil plan – whatever it was since Nash had no idea of what it was – she would have to take some break. To be there from time to time and not all the time. And in the time she wouldn't be there, Nash would be able to think about a solution. She hoped.

Alex was watching as Nash arched and struggled while the electricity ran through her. The gag was too tight in her mouth for her to try and yell. Which was a shame. Alex wondered what her screams of pain would sound like. She noticed the restraints cut deeper into her skin while she convulsed. She loved watching Nash struggle like an insect. Even if she couldn't scream. She wondered if Nash could still hear patients' screams in her mind. She wouldn't let Nash die. Not yet. She flipped the final switch backwards so the electricity would stop flowing through Nash

"You're wondering why I'm doing that to you. Even if we are friends, I do have a reason. My sister was put in here for a mental disease she had. She was slowly getting uncontrollable. But we thought that with some help she'd be able to get back on track. But instead you electrocuted her to death. You killed my sister. Clarice Wilson. She was just a teenager and you ripped her life from her. You made her scream. This is my revenge to you. She was so young."

Tears were in Alex's eyes as she spoke about her dead sister. Alex and Clarice had been so close. They had been inseparable. And Nash had taken that away from her. It had been hard for Alex to act like she was friends with someone who had killed her sister.

"And you threw her out like garbage," Alex growled.

She glared back at her. Alex would give Nash a break when she wanted to. She would clean the room eventually. She loosened the restraints a little so Nash could squirm more from the electrocution.

Nash was almost relieved when the electricity stopped running through her but her body kept convulsing because of the shock. It was terrible not to have any control on what was going on when she was so used to being the big boss, to control everything. She hated it being so powerless, so _weak_ and _vulnerable_ and she felt humiliated right now. But Alex told her her reasons and Nash didn't understand it all. The name Clarice Wilson didn't mean anything to her when it should have obviously. So many patients had been there before and she couldn't remember them all. Not all of them had died from that treatment. Many had survived. But many had died too and she couldn't remember the names and faces of the fallen. Maybe if she had had the files under the eyes. But right now, the name seemed unknown to her. Or was it the electrical shock?

She was feeling a bit lightheaded to say the least and she didn't have the strength to struggle anymore for now. Her eyes slowly closed themselves as Alex's words kept tormenting her painful mind. Who was Clarice Wilson? What had been done to her? Was Nash really responsible? She didn't know. She really didn't know, and she really needed to sleep now. Her eyes closed themselves completely, and everything became black.

Alex smirked when Nash fainted. In her opinion, she deserved to feel humiliated after all she had done to so many patients there, and what she had done to her sister Clarice. Alex would give her the deep details. She would read her the files. Alex had her reasons. She would make sure Nash understood them clear as day later on. When she would have a bit of a clearer mind. The name Clarice Wilson should have a meaning to her. It should mean something to her because Clarice Wilson had been a patient of Nash's. Alex remembered it clearly. She would get the file and show it to Nash. Later though. Nash was responsible for Clarice's death. She was the one who had done it to her. She had electrocuted her to death.

Alex shut off the machine and kept the restraints how they were. She would clean the room later. She loosened the gag a little in Nash's mouth, but kept it tight enough for her not to make a noise before she left the room quietly. She locked the door behind her good. She would give her a few hours before she would possibly let her go. On a couple conditions, of course.


End file.
